The following post originally appeared on this blog.
THIS COULD’VE BEEN ME
by Dhanashree Jambekar
Pune: Woman techie murdered on Infosys campus, police arrest security guard
As I read this news, again and again, over and over, I couldn’t help but think – this could have been me.
Couple of years ago, I too was 24-25, working in a well-known, MNC, IT firm, with security guards 24 hrs. But I still didn’t feel safe.
There were 4 buildings of 4 floors in my campus. My desk was on 2nd floor in one of those buildings. And there was a security guard on each floor, working in shifts. So at a time, there would be at least 16 security guards inside the buildings with an extra bunch of them on the main gate, surveilling the visitors and vehicles. Around 3000 employees working in the general shift. And I still didn’t feel safe.
There was a male security guard on the ground floor of my building. Every time I would pass by, he would start whistling or singing songs. And so subtly that no one else would realize his change in behavior. I could understand his intentions just by one-look-in-his-eyes. Even while writing this post, I can feel that vulgar look, I feel like I was getting raped, every time I passed by. It would happen minimum 4 times a day. And it was enough for me to start hating my office, and not want to go there everyday, just to avoid that creature.
I am not a strong girl, I know. I couldn’t give him a bold look and shut his mouth. Forget about making noise and grabbing attention of others to his behavior. I didn’t even dare to tell this to anyone for long time. I wanted to tell this to my mom at least, but I didn’t. I knew what she was going to tell me, I knew she was going to tell me to act and complain and I know that is right. But I just didn’t have the courage. I don’t know if I have it now either.
There was a lady security guard on my floor. And luckily we would get along well. But I was hesitant to tell her. What if the guy is her friend? What if she didn’t believe me? What if it turned back on me? I don’t know how long I bared those poking eyes, but one day at last, I told her. I told her that guard on the ground floor looks at me weirdly and I don’t like it.
Well, thankfully, she too was against him for some reason. She said there are many complaints against him already. And she immediately made a call to her senior right in front of me and told them about my complain. She didn’t disclose my identity as I told her I was scared.
Within few days, he was removed from the office and I didn’t see him ever again.
I got lucky. But this poor girl from the news report didn’t 😦
I ask Why??
I think there is something completely wrong with people’s mentality. It is totally flawed. And it has to be uprooted. But I don’t know how. I just sit at my desk.
Frightened. Sorry. Worried.
What do you think are the answers for these WHYs?
Can you think of a way in which this situation could have been avoided?
Do you think learning martial arts is a solution? (Are you going to give the same answer to a 4 year kid, irrespective of the gender, who gets raped?)
It is a time to bring a revolution, in our thoughts, in our education, in the way in which we treat people.
If everyone makes sure that they think right, and take responsibility for at least the other 3 or 4 members in their family to think sanely I think we will be making an effort towards a better and a safe future.
Added by Priya:
- How can we make workspaces safe for women?
- What are some spheres where education/awareness need to be happening?
- How can well-intentioned male co-workers help?
- How much responsibility does the company have in providing women a safe work environment? How do women demand this from their companies?
- When there is a potentially troubling situation (such as harassment), are there avenues/protocols to report it without stigmatizing the victim?
- Any other helpful thoughts and discussion and sharing of experiences are welcomed.