Marriage Sacred in India, So Marital Rape Does Not Apply: Government

Live in Relationships continue to be safer for Indian women. [Marriage Vs Live in Relationships : Twelve points to note.]

Marriage Sacred in India, So Marital Rape Does Not Apply: Government 

“It is considered that the concept of marital rape, as understood internationally, cannot be suitably applied in the Indian context due to various factors, including level of education, illiteracy, poverty, myriad social customs and values, religious beliefs, mindset of the society to treat marriage as a sacrament,” Minister of State for Home, Haribhai Parathibhai Chaudhary said in the Rajya Sabha.

He was replying to a written question by DMK’s K Kanimozhi, who had asked whether the government was planning to amend the law to make marital rape a crime. She had also asked whether the UN Committee on Elimination of Discrimination Against Women had recommended to India that marital rape should be criminalised.

On the contrary, permitting Marital Rape makes it impossible for Indians (rich or poor, educated or illiterate) to understand that sex without consent is rape. It makes the society view sex as something men are entitled to, and something that the society owes them.

Poverty and illiteracy do not make men view rape misogynistically  – Patriarchy does. Patriarchy defines rape as a crime against the owners of the person raped. ( for e.g. the victim’s future husband whose property/honor is attacked; or the male members of her community).

The ‘concept of marital rape, as understood internationally’ is actually the easiest to understand – Sex without consent is Rape. Making Marital Rape a crime would make all Indians understand this international definition the most easily. (It’s common sense actually, if viewed without Patriarchal glasses)

Once we view rape as a violent crime, like stabbing or an acid attack – we will see why being poor or illiterate doesn’t make it easier to live with threat of being sexually assaulted.

Also consider, ‘Myriad social customs and values, religious beliefs’ are all meant to enrich and empower, not threaten the society and empower the violent or abusive.

Also ‘social customs’ allowed infanticide, male child preference, dowry and widow burning, our ancestors had the wisdom to see them as inhuman crimes.

The ‘mindset of the society to treat marriage as a sacrament’ leads to women being raised as future daughters in law.

It leads to almost half the population being raised to view Getting Married, Staying Married or Die Trying as their goal in life. And we know this leads to male child preference, dowry, sex selection, skewed gender ratio and lack of value and respect for women in our society.

Four things that can change the mindset mentioned above:

1. Define lack of consent as rape.

2. Acknowledge Marital Rape is a crime.

3. Law for fair division of Marital assets in case of divorce or separation (to make it easier for victims to walk out of abusive marriages).

4. Ban forced marriages, and child marriages. Make it easier for young adults to walk away from semi-forced marriages.

5. Make it easier for women to walk out of abusive or unhappy marriages.

Related Posts:

India leads in sexual violence, worst on gender equality: Study

Five rapists in Patna want to marry gangrape victim.

Three thoughts on Bhag Milkha Bhag.

“In my own company in a cosmopolitan city, I know women who were horrified on the First Night.”

Refusal to have sex during honeymoon is not cruelty: Bombay high court

Who will benefit from criminalising sexual assaults within marriages?

Would this crime have been reported if he had mercilessly raped her but not sodomised her?

A comment- ‘Reverse the gender, and it is marital rape.’

Rapist groom should have waited a little to satiate his lusty desires without problems which he has got into.

For Victims and Survivors of Marital Rapes.

Where Consensual Sex is Rape, and Forced Sex a legal right.

Forcible sex with wife doesn’t amount to marital rape: Court

Forced intercourse in marriage not rape: Delhi court

Panchayat orders girl to marry her rapist because one way to make a Rape right is to make it Marital Rape.

What do you think of these doubts regarding recognition of marital rape as a crime?

“Instituting the idea of marital rape raises the specter of a man going for long periods without sex even though he’s married!”

Making Marital Rape a legal offence is the fastest way to make it clear that Rape means forced sex, not lost Virginity or Honor.

 

 

‘Madam so many rapes don’t happen in Germany coz girls don’t refuse to have sex.’

Do you see this comment as a step towards convincing the world that Indian men (and society) respect women?

A female professor of Germany refused to accept Indian student coz of rape cases in India. I want to say – Madam so many rapes don’t happen in Germany coz girls don’t refuse to have sex.[www.facebook.com/KRK.Kamaalkhan]

What do you think does he mean? Others before him have said the same thing ofcourse.

How do you think does Kamaal R Khan define rape?

Does he seem to respect a woman’s right to consent or to refuse sex?

Does he seem to view women being raped as virtuous and moral (She was too pure and sanskaari to desire being violently and sexually assaulted); and does he seem to view women having or desiring consensual sex as immoral?

Related Posts:

Here’s why I think the society should not obsess over a woman’s virginity.

‘The victim should have surrendered when surrounded by six men, at least it could have saved her intestines’. [Anita Shukla]

The girl could have called her assailants brothers and begged them to stop.[Asaram Bapu] –

“Girls should be married at 16, so that they don’t need to go elsewhere for their sexual needs. This way rapes will not occur.” – Rape being viewed as Sex outside marriage.

7 things that can make ‘Rape sometimes right’.

Where Consensual Sex is Rape, and Forced Sex a legal right.

Making Marital Rape a legal offence is the fastest way to make it clear that Rape means forced sex, not lost Virginity or Honor.

Forced intercourse in marriage not rape: Delhi court

Forcible sex with wife doesn’t amount to marital rape: Court

Girls morally bound not to have sex before marriage, says fast track court judge

“Girls should be married at 16, so that they don’t need to go elsewhere for their sexual needs. This way rapes will not occur.”

“I will not sit back and allow the image of India’s men to be tarnished by an article that does not articulate other sides to India.”

 

Sexual crimes against women in India continue to be matters of Indian Men’s Honor and Dishonour.

Looks like some of us are not exactly proud of our opinions. It seems we’d like the world to believe our society values women and girl children. We also want to create the impression, it seems, that women’s safety is taken seriously in India.

Creating a good impression on other people is ofcourse a part of our ‘log kyaa kahenge’ (What will people say!!) culture. That’s what Honor and Shame is all about. 

Sharing a comment that sums it up – by Gayathri Brown-Iyer. 

The logic is astounding. Rapists can rape, police can refuse to file FIRs, politicians, celebs, etc can shame women for drinking, wearing western clothes, blame them for their rape, rationalize rape, etc — but nooooo, no one dare make a documentary exposing that. Let’s not try to understand how eerily similar the thoughts of rapists and the aam janata is. That’s just too uncomfortable for us to confront as Indians. Mera Bharat Mahan!

You know what is insulting to victims is not documentaries like these. These documentaries show us what causes the victims to be victimized. What is insulting is pretending that these rapists are monsters and aberrations in our society — when in reality our society enables and encourages rapists while silencing and stigmatizing victims.

Related Posts:

Why does the Delhi bus rapist blame his victim in prison interview?

Nirbhaya’s Parents Talk to NDTV About Documentary on ‘India’s Daughter’

Why does the Delhi bus rapist blame his victim in prison interview?

 

“A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy.” 

This rapist has no reason to disagree with many others, including women, who hold the same view.

He comes from a society that believes that the only way to control sexual crimes is by shaming, silencing and locking up the victims.

It’s possible that he has no idea that ‘sex without consent’ is rape. He probably views rape as a punishment for women who don’t know their place.

Do you know of any efforts to inform him otherwise?

Delhi bus rapist blames his victim in prison interview

You can’t clap with one hand – it takes two hands,” he says in the interview. “A decent girl won’t roam around at 9 o’clock at night. A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy. Boy and girl are not equal. Housework and housekeeping is for girls, not roaming in discos and bars at night doing wrong things, wearing wrong clothes. About 20 per cent of girls are good.”

[Such  views are common: The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.]

Amongst many other men and women,

The lawyers who defended the gang in court express similarly extreme views about women who venture out at night. In a previous televised interview, lawyer AP Singh said: “If my daughter or sister engaged in pre-marital activities and disgraced herself and allowed herself to lose face and character by doing such things, I would most certainly take this sort of sister or daughter to my farmhouse, and in front of my entire family, I would put petrol on her and set her alight.” [This man openly threatened his daughter and instigated others to burn alive their daughters.]

 Related Posts:

What makes Men Rape? – Do read.

The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.

“… people will say we encouraged these men to follow us… even though we are innocent”

“Sometimes it seems like every single thing I do has the potential to be something ‘provocative’.”

When they don’t even understand crime, how are they ever going to begin controlling it?

Can sexual harassment be compared to Terrorism against a whole community called women?

“Such mannequins will excite men and pose a danger to women.”

“I am safe because I’m very careful in the way I behave and dress in public, on the streets.”

In Gurgaon, jobs, safety and roads after 8 pm, reserved for men?

It’s Your Fault

Dad knifes girl for speaking to lover

Rape and clothing: How it’s all dressed up – A guest post by Praveen Talwar.

“She was warned several times and was used to unethical practices like friendship with boys.”

How did we make Indian criminals believe that they have 7 khoon maaf if they can claim to be teaching Indian women a lesson in Indian values?

Home most unsafe place for women : A unique court-ordered study by Delhi Police has revealed.

“What do you think, blogger why Sexual Violence have increased at home in a country like INDIA which has the most peaceful religion?”

Sharing this comment because some of these points highlight how awareness or knowledge of sex, women’s sexuality, sex education, desire for sex and influence of other cultures continue to be viewed as the major causes for sexual crimes in India. 

Here’s the comment by him905. My response (to just some points) in blockquotes.

Causes of RAPE UPSURGE in our society.

IHM: Upsurge is only in reporting of rape – we have traditionally dealt with rapes with silencing of victim, that’s changing. 

1) PORN CULTURE-Today’s porn is not the same as it was invented back in 1950s where voluptuous women used to walk on beaches. It now portrays WOMEN as sex slave of MEN. NO WOMEN LIKE TO BE POUND BRUTALLY AND MAN HANDEDLY as is seen in Porn films.

Who wouldn’t want to display his manly power over women after watching a HARDCORE film (except educated, cultured and chivalrous men)?

IHM: Who? Someone who has had the opportunity to learn that rape is a serious and punishable crime, that women are people, that women are sexual people, that any sexual activity without consent is rape, that porn is not sex education. And someone who was permitted to find out how sex with consent could be.

WHY PORN? Science says-amygdala controls human emotions. Watching vulgar films increase dopamine levels which is responsible for arousing lustful desires against a woman. YES, LUSTFUL MEN and WOMEN HAVE HIGHER LEVELS OF DOPAMINE.
SO OUR GOVT MOVE ON BANNING PORNOGRAPHY AND VULGAR FILMS WHICH HAVE DESTROYED HAPPY HOMES IS AT LEAST AN EFFORT TO CURB RAPE MENACE IN OUR SOCIETY.

IHM: Rape is not always about sex or lust. Rape is frequently a patriarchal crime of hate, aggression, misogyny, ‘honor’, revenge or teaching a lesson. 

2) INHERENT MANLY CHARACTER-The above mentioned reason give boost to men to display his power over women. Women being weaker to men physically also give another reason to deflower her.

IHM:  A sexual assault should never be called ‘deflowering’ or any other term that disguises it or conveys that rape is about loss of virginity or honor.

And ‘manly-character’ is a patriarchal construct that causes a lot to harm to men and to the society because it includes aggression, anger, jealousy, hate, display of power and violence. Men are made to feel their worth lies in displaying these characteristics, and not in being themselves. 

What do you think, blogger why Sexual Violence have increased at home in a country like INDIA which has the most peaceful religion?

IHMI am not sure if any religion views a sexual assault as a violent crime against the victim, most seem to view it as deflowering, or stealing of something that belonged to the husband or community.

So far as I am aware, all religions are patriarchal. 

Fist blame Islamic Invaders and Christians for uprooting our society. Now blame men who watch porn secretly and later force his wife to have sex to vent out his lustful desires. Its common in lower middle class and labor families (rickshaw wala types) where men’s mind is corrupted.

IHM: Blame the legally sanctioned patriarchal sense of entitlement. Many men assume/hear and learn, that marriage means sex on demand. 

And blame the lack of effort by the society and the law to ensure that women stay in marriages only because they really want to. 

We actually pressurise the victims to support the crime by forbidding them from walking away from circumstances that lead to the crime. There is no effort to teach from childhood about abusive relationships, controlling relationships, seeking happiness for self.  Self reliance and freedom are looked down upon. No point talking about all of this – because we have a law that permits rape. In this regard Live in relationships are safer for women, but most religions don’t approve of that either. 

 

3) NUDITY OF WOMEN- Its not applicable to every man. Illiterate men, gangsters, hooligans usually cant tolerate a women walking in semi nude dress while showing tight boobs and ass. In ancient times, Indian women would not cover her breasts (see sculptures of ancient temples) or cover with diaphanous clothes, were more voluptuous because men at that time would respect women thanks to our vedic culture at that time.

IHM: Two many factually incorrect assertions here.

 

Mr Balvinder Singh’s experience in Nagaland shows making rules about covering up a woman’s body, is the beginning of objectification of women, to ensure ‘excitement’ does not ‘turn into monotony’. [link]

 

But let me ask,  do some men rape anybody they find sexually attractive?  If we are serious about controlling sexual crimes, then shouldn’t we aim to identify and lock away such men?

 

Rape is not always a crime of impulse or of finding someone sexually attractive  – most rapes are well planned, and more about hate or aggression than about the sexual attractiveness of the victim.

 

4) POLITICAL REASONS- Weak laws, political relations to escape imprisonment is one of the biggest cause of rape increasing in our country.

5) CONSENSUAL RELATIONSHIPS- This type of rape cases are common in rich class. Women are raped in farm houses although a sexual act is started by the mutual consent of the partners but later it becomes against a woman’s consent. She is usually given threat to disclose it in public.

IHM: Consensual relations become against woman’s consent? Rape is lack of consent. The moment there is denial of consent, a sexual act becomes rape.

Anybody who feels they can’t handle this, must inform those they wish to have sex with, so that they can be avoided, or can be locked away for public safety.

BIGGEST MYTHS REGARDING RAPE

1) INDIA HAS LARGEST NO OF RAPES. just because mainstream secular media highlights it in bold letters without knowing the facts. YOU CAN CHECK WIKIPEDIA LISTS OF TOP COUNTRIES IN RAPE. USA and other developed countries figure in top ten. India is in 20+ rank. India is still one of the safest places for women.

IHM: Denial is a common method used for ‘controlling’ crime. It has never worked.

2) DISCUSSIONS ON SEXUALITY- Indians might wonder that we don’t discuss sexuality openly which causes rape as it suppresses sexual desires. LIBERAL COUNTRIES FIGURE IN TOP TEN IN RAPE STATISTICS. WHY they are ahead of us? Discussing sexuality can teach you about a human body and sexual desires arises out of the environment in which the person is living, media effects and peer culture but it cant teach you about respecting a person as a whole including his body and emotions.

IHM: Discussion of sex could lead to sex. That’s fine. Sex is not a bad thing. We need to focus on controlling sexual assaults.

There should be no confusion – Sex is good, Sexual assault is bad.

Mixing morals, virginity, personal sexual habits/preferences/orientations of adults distracts from the issue at hand.

3) ALL RAPE CASES ARE GENUINE- one third rape cases in NCR are false ones as cited by The Hindu’s article on rape analysis and statistics. WOMEN know very well how to malign a man!

IHM: Rape needs to be defined clearly, legally. Lack of consent  or Forced sex is rape.

Consensual premarital sex is not rape. A sexual assault upon. Sex ‘with promise to marry’ is cheating, not rape.

4) WOMEN SHOULD COVER THEIR BODIES- IT will not solve the problem. Rape cases are very common in muslims countries although it arises due to pathetic treatment of women in Islam.

5) PATRIARCHY SYSTEM-Talking about ancient INDIAN society, patriarchy gave many rights and freedom to women which can even give an inferiority complex to women advocating feminism! RAPE DIDN’T EXIST. I know it because I am studying Hinduism as my hobby. Today’s patriarchy got distorted because Indian men failed to realise the glory of women in hinduism and instead went ahead like that of abrahmic religions’ patriarchy style.

IHM: Patriarchy ‘gave’ rights and freedom to women?Rape didn’t exist when forced sex was not viewed as rape.

 

‘the glory of women in hinduism’? While misogyny is common to most religions and cultures, I think Hinduism alone denies widows even the most basic human rights.

6) LAW IS THE ONLY SOLUTION TO END RAPE- USA has a well ordered and controlled LAW SYSTEM in the world but not an effective system to curb the social evils like rape. USA RANKS NO 1 IN RAPE CRIMES DESPITE BEING LIBERAL ON SEX. why? USA believes in controlling the social evils by creating a fear against that evil in criminals and general public. It can give a rapid solution but not a permanent solution in long run. It believes in controlling the derivative (by making laws) but not the root cause of rape (problem with a man’s psyche and vulgar milieu). In INDIA due to our culture, majority of men still see women as a respectful person. The culprits are the ones who see women as a sex slaves of men. INDIA is too following the path of USA to establish the stringent laws against rape and harassment but it will also fail in long run like USA.

IHM: ‘In INDIA due to our culture, majority of men still see women as a respectful person. The culprits are the ones who see women as a sex slaves of men.’

A culture that permits rape within marriage and also views marriage as the sole purpose of a woman’s life – how does it see women as respectful people and not as ‘sex slaves of men’?

Our problems appear unsolvable because we have failed to understand ourselves in our own language, on our own terms. To top the hypocrisy, on the same few square inches of lifestyle websites we have the pontification of the social scientists on how lustful desires can spice our lives and liberate society from clutches of centuries of restraint promoted on various lifestyle websites but we do not see our contradictions. We can emulate aspects of USA’s well-functioning systems of local government and law and marry it with dharma society to create a better India. But even to learn from others we must study them on our own terms. Its applicable to every country of this world.

IHM: Our problems appear unsolvable? Which problems?

 

Consensual-sex is not a problem. Lustful desires (even women’s lustful desires) are not a problem.  Premarital sex is not a problem (and nobody’s business so long there is consent, willing partners above the age of consent)

 

Our only problem is that we refuse to view Sexual Assault as a criminal assault on a person. Comparable to an acid attack, stabbing or an amputation.

 

And to answer this question again,

“What do you think, blogger why Sexual Violence have increased at home in a country like INDIA which has the most peaceful religion?”

IHM: Sexual violence at home has not increased –  it is being reported more.  Victim blaming, shaming, silencing has lesser hold on the society now, so maybe we are beginning to finally deal with an issue we can no longer pretend away.

 

Related Posts:

Justice Verma Committee is inviting solutions and ideas in regards to sexual harassment/ assault/ molestation/ rape.

How does an average Indian define Rape, Child Abuse and Consensual Sex?

So how does Delhi – NCR Police define Rape?

“If we have people of your ilk in Bharat we do not need external enemies at all!”

A response to: Why we think women activists should change their attitude of “wear what you like”

Do some of us see anything that is done purely for pleasure (no moral or monetary benefits), as wrong?

‘I’m now thoroughly convinced that the entire concept of virginity is used to control female sexuality.’

Making Marital Rape a legal offence is the fastest way to make it clear that Rape means forced sex, not lost Virginity or Honor.

Here’s why I think the society should not obsess over a woman’s virginity.

‘Rape is theft of the victim’s potential to fulfil her destiny from birth, the pivot of her existence, her marriage.’

40% of rape charges were filed by parents of girls who had eloped consensually with a boy

7 things that can make ‘Rape sometimes right’.

Forced intercourse in marriage not rape: Delhi court

“See – UNICEF has figured it out. It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out.”

Would this crime have been reported if he had mercilessly raped her but not sodomised her?

A comment- ‘Reverse the gender, and it is marital rape.’

Bikini vs Burka: The Debauchery of Women

Research survey on Street Harassment

Sharing an email. Please do participate and support. The first step towards controlling a crime is understanding the crime and such surveys are a step in that direction. 
Dear IHM,
 
We are writing to you to help disseminate our research survey on Street Harassment. In collaboration with researchers at the Cornell University’s ILR School, we are collecting survey responses from across the world with support of local sites. 
 

The survey asks about demographics, experiences with harassment, reactions to it, and other questions. It is completely anonymous. Summary reports and press releases can be expected early in 2015.

If you have any questions you can ask your site leader, Arpita Bhagat (mumbai@ihollaback.org). If you want more info on the survey itself, contact Prof. Beth Livingston (BAL93@cornell.edu).​​For Mumbai, we have translated the survey in three languages – English, Hindi & Marathi. It would be absolutely wonderful, if you could share the details on your platform or/and give us a shout out on your social media.

Mumbai, English: http://goo.gl/suTX2u
Mumbai, Hindi: http://goo.gl/iDxs5r
Mumbai, Marathi: http://goo.gl/rbTbLF
 
 
Please do participate and share with your network widely.
Related Posts:

When a crime is a punishment or a lesson taught to the victim.

Sharing a guest post by PD.

Do the circumstances of a rape matter?

I  live in the UK, currently there is a lot of discussion regarding this rape case – Predatory soccer stars, a drunken girl and a very seedy night at the Premier Inn: RICHARD PENDLEBURY revisits the disturbing events that led to the rape trial of Ched Evans [link].

There is additional controversy because of comments made by a female presenter who suggested that the punishment given to this football player was sufficient because although the attack was ‘unpleasant’, his victim was very drunk (thereby justifying the attack).

Ironically,  this presenter and her daughter have now in turn been threatened with rape by trolls on her Twitter page (Rape threat to Judy’s daughter: Richard Madeley to call in police after Twitter trolls’ vile attacks on Chloe)

[IHM: This. Rape is seen as a punishment or a lesson for women. Almost anything a woman does can be used to justify this ‘punishment’. The presenter here, being a woman,  is being viewed as deserving of this punishment. The threats too are meant to be ‘insulting’ and are meant to be viewed as ‘punishments’.] 

Something has been bugging me about this case and the subsequent furore caused by the various opinions expressed.

1. Do the circumstances of a rape matter? The end result is the same,  a woman is violated against her will.  It’s almost like saying some forms of abuse are worse than others or some murders are worse than others.

2. Regardless of the the circumstances or whose fault it was,  these two men went out that night looking for a girl to take back to their hotel.  They came across a girl who could barely stand straight and decided to take her back to the hotel despite knowing that she was in no fit state to give consent (if it was given at all in the first place). The is something very creepy about sober men picking up drunk girls for the sole purpose of intercourse and then justifying their actions by placing the blame firmly on the girl’s shoulders.

3. Putting myself in the girls’ shoes, it was indeed very reckless of her to go out on her own,  getting so drunk that she could barely stand and not making provisions to make it back home safely. Being an overly cautious person by nature,  this is something I would never do and it’s hard for me to understand why she would put herself in such a situation.  But does this justify what happened to her?

I’m interested to hear what your readers make of this story and the subsequent public view/backlash.

Related Posts:

What makes Men Rape?

Yet another rape that was not about lust but about aggression, revenge and putting the victim in her place.

Boys can make mistakes.

Rapist said that coming from Afghanistan meant he didn’t understand what ‘consent’ was.

“I am safe because I’m very careful in the way I behave and dress in public, on the streets.”

“Sometimes it seems like every single thing I do has the potential to be something ‘provocative’.” 

Have a Good Time in India, Sister (Gounderbrownie)

Are we trying to threaten Indian women with rapes as punishment for modernity, independence and self reliance?

“As long as the men do not understand that they CANNOT and WILL NOT get away with such behavior and criminal acts, the rape culture will not go away”

Controlling crimes against women: What works, what doesn’t work.

This is what rapists do when there is no fear of punishment.

How Victim Blaming confuses rapists, police and the society about when exactly does non-consensual-sex becomes a crime.

The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.

62-year-old Indian man admits to sexually touching sleeping woman on plane.

Tulika shared the link below with this message:

“Treatment of sexual assault in Western Society – 

I request you to publish this news regarding sexual assault and how actually it should be dealt in a civilized society. What actually culture and civilisation means and gives support to its member.”

What do you think would have been the first reactions if this crime had taken place in India?

Indian man admits to sexually touching sleeping woman on plane

NEW YORK:  A 62-year-old Indian man has pleaded guilty to sexually touching a woman seated next to him aboard a flight from Houston to Newark and faces two years in prison.

The accused, Devender Singh, a resident of Louisiana

…  The charge carries a maximum potential penalty of two years in prison and a USD 250,000 fine. He is scheduled to be sentenced in October.  … Singh was seated next to a woman who occupied a window seat on a United Airlines flight from Houston to Newark. While the plane was in the air, the woman fell asleep and awoke to find him kissing her face with his hand inside her shirt.

After pushing Singh off of her and telling him to get away, the woman complained to a flight crew member about the incident and asked that the police be present when the plane landed.

The federal government has exclusive jurisdiction over all sexual abuse cases that occur on aircraft in flight in the US.

 

These TOI comments reflect how sexual crimes are viewed by many Indians,

1. Many seem to consider sexual assaults a natural outcome of men finding women sexually attractive.

Airliners has to allot seats in such a way to prevent this type of incidents, urge and attraction is God’s creation between two sexes. Our elders out of evolution and experience they have advocated,wearing veil,wearing non explosive dress code as advised by elderly intelligent people,monogamy,advise giving respect to fair sex and exhibiting their private parts publicly.

Fact: A response to: Why we think women activists should change their attitude of “wear what you like” [Link]

2. Others believe it’s young men who commit such crimes because they have no control over their ‘natural instincts’.

Hahahahah such a disgusting and funny thing i read today !! :v :p 60+ yrs old person hahha Chokra jawaan re jawaan re !! [the boy is young, is young]

Fact: What makes Men Rape? [link]

3. The idea that sexual assaults are caused by a man’s inability to ‘control their instincts’  is deep rooted.

A very shameful act that too from a 62 year old. When will people learn to control their instincts? The punishment is good and he deserves it for putting India and Indians to shame.

Fact: The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them. [link]

Why don’t we hear any talk about the requirement for consent in any sexual activity? Maybe because we fear that’s Sex Education?

Also, media campaigns could help create awareness about how often Sexual Crimes are not crimes of ‘lust’ or ‘natural urges’ but of hate, aggression and revenge (as in ‘Teaching a lesson’ to the woman) and sometimes of simply not knowing that any sexual act without consent is a crime.

Related Posts:

Rapist said that coming from Afghanistan meant he didn’t understand what ‘consent’ was.

“I am safe because I’m very careful in the way I behave and dress in public, on the streets.”

“Sometimes it seems like every single thing I do has the potential to be something ‘provocative’.” 

Have a Good Time in India, Sister (Gounderbrownie)

She started a fight between two men?

The night I was not an easy prey.

‘“Why would this girl lie? After all she is taking the blame on herself”, said the police officer to the criminal infront of me.’What’s the best way to fight for your rights and freedoms and to prevent Talibanization of India?

Allahabad girl Aarti Yadav beats harasser, sets bike on fire

“I will not sit back and allow the image of India’s men to be tarnished by an article that does not articulate other sides to India.”

“… people will say we encouraged these men to follow us… even though we are innocent”

Why should all acts of sexual harassment be taken seriously, even when there is no grievous physical injury?

What did Sharad Yadav mean by, ‘Who amongst us has not followed girls?’

“… people will say we encouraged these men to follow us… even though we are innocent”

When young women hear victims being shamed, blamed and silenced after each news of sexual crimes against women, is it surprising that they feared they would be blamed for the Street Sexual Harassment they faced everyday?

In their suicide notes — one runs into six pages, the other is four-page long —  the girls speak of fear and shame, of disrepute, of tongues wagging simply because young men had been following and harassing them.

“Everyday a new man would come and chase us. They would pass lewd remarks and offer us phone numbers.
The people around us would stare as if we had done something wrong. You know how bad our colony is… how people will say we encouraged these men to follow us… even though we are innocent,” Madhu wrote.

What could have lead to their fear of being blamed and shamed?

Take a look at just one example of what they feared,

Related Posts:

Is stalking of girls and women illegal in India?

Would women be in some ways empowered if they saw no shame in what they could risk being called?

What did Sharad Yadav mean by, ‘Who amongst us has not followed girls?’

Reserved seats and coaches are not a special indulgence towards women, they are an indication of a serious social problem.

The fearlessness of the Indian ‘Eve teaser’ (sexual criminals)

Are we trying to threaten Indian women with rapes as punishment for modernity, independence and self reliance?

Did the posters threatening acid attacks on women wearing jeans surprise you?

Dad knifes girl for speaking to lover

“As long as the men do not understand that they CANNOT and WILL NOT get away with such behavior and criminal acts, the rape culture will not go away”

Controlling crimes against women: What works, what doesn’t work.

This is what rapists do when there is no fear of punishment.

How Victim Blaming confuses rapists, police and the society about when exactly does non-consensual-sex becomes a crime.

The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.

It’s Your Fault

“She was warned several times and was used to unethical practices like friendship with boys.”

How did we make Indian criminals believe that they have 7 khoon maaf if they can claim to be teaching Indian women a lesson in Indian values?

Allahabad girl Aarti Yadav beats harasser, sets bike on fire

Can sexual harassment be compared to Terrorism against a whole community called women?

“Such mannequins will excite men and pose a danger to women.”

“I am safe because I’m very careful in the way I behave and dress in public, on the streets.”

In Gurgaon, jobs, safety and roads after 8 pm, reserved for men?

The night I was not an easy prey.

Which city in India, do you think is the safest city for women? Do women in that city stay at home after dark?

“Sometimes it seems like every single thing I do has the potential to be something ‘provocative’.”

When they don’t even understand crime, how are they ever going to begin controlling it?

Those charged with our safety should have a true understanding of what it is to be a survivor of sexual assault — slut or otherwise.

 

 

7 things that can make ‘Rape sometimes right’.

So here is yet another statement highlighting the general ignorance (and misogyny?) that prevails with regards to sexual assaults on women and children.

Rape sometimes right, sometimes wrong: Gaur

“This is a social crime which depends on men and women. Sometimes it’s right, sometimes it’s wrong,” said Gaur, the home minister responsible for law and order in BJP-run Madhya Pradesh.

“Until there’s a complaint, nothing can happen,” Gaur told reporters.

What can make anybody think that rapes can sometimes be right? 

1. I think, atleast partly, it’s the lack of understanding of what a sexual assault is.

2. Many Indians seem to define rape as an assault on a woman’s honor, (or her community’s honor, or on her future husband’s rights and honor)

3. Many Indians do not seem to see rape as an assault on a woman’s person, rights, dignity, personal autonomy [link] or freedom etc.

4. Which is why, Premarital Consensual Sex [link] is seen as rape but sexual assaults on married women or minors by their husbands are not defined as ‘rape’ [link]

Rapist was married to the survivor = Right Rape

5. Many Indians seem to have no idea that a woman can consent or withhold consent for sex. Not being married to the partner means consent is forbidden, and being married means no consent required.

Premarital Consensual Sex = Wrong Rape

The rape survivor was sexually active = Right Rape

6. The concept of izzat/honor does not involve the victim’s right to consent or withhold consent. She is less valued than her ‘izzat‘.

It implies that when there is no ‘dishonour’ then the rape is ‘Right rape’.

(And marital rapes are not seen as dishonour – in fact marriage can make a rape honourable, which is why –Five rapists in Patna want to marry gangrape victim.)

Dishonour = Wrong Rape

No Dishonour = Right Rape

Rapist willing to marry the rape survivor= Right Rape

7. Also, it seems, sometimes when a man has been living away from his family, then sexually assaults by him are seen as ‘less wrong’ [link]

Rapist was helpless = Right rape

8. Right rapes include assaults when the criminal claims to have been provoked by what the victim did or didn’t do.

Rapist was provoked = Right rape

This includes a majority of rapes, because, “Sometimes it seems like every single thing… has the potential to be something ‘provocative’.”

(Note: This is not too different from being provoked by beards, opinions and beliefs – ‘I felt like a raped woman being told How could you wear such clothes?’)

We need massive media campaigns to make it clear that lack of consent is rape, but that’s unlikely to happen because we don’t talk about such things.

Related Posts:

A response to: Why we think women activists should change their attitude of “wear what you like”
Here’s why I think the society should not obsess over a woman’s virginity.
“As long as the men do not understand that they CANNOT and WILL NOT get away with such behavior and criminal acts, the rape culture will not go away”
In Rape Culture, we understand that if the rapist was living alone, away from his native place, he could lose control over himself.
Classmates who rape and burn to death are not Spurned Lovers, they are dangerous, violent criminals.
Where Consensual Sex is Rape, and Forced Sex a legal right.
Making Marital Rape a legal offence is the fastest way to make it clear that Rape means forced sex, not lost Virginity or Honor.
Forced intercourse in marriage not rape: Delhi court
Forcible sex with wife doesn’t amount to marital rape: Court
Why should all acts of sexual harassment be taken seriously, even when there is no grievous physical injury?
Girls morally bound not to have sex before marriage, says fast track court judge
Who will benefit from criminalising sexual assaults within marriages?
Justice Verma Committee is inviting solutions and ideas in regards to sexual harassment/ assault/ molestation/ rape.
How Victim Blaming confuses rapists, police and the society about when exactly does non-consensual-sex becomes a crime.
“Instituting the idea of marital rape raises the specter of a man going for long periods without sex even though he’s married!”
Yet another rape that was not about lust but about aggression, revenge and putting the victim in her place.
“Girls should be married at 16, so that they don’t need to go elsewhere for their sexual needs. This way rapes will not occur.”
Would this crime have been reported if he had mercilessly raped her but not sodomised her?
The ‘Legitimate Rape’ song. Love this!