Dad wears short shorts to teach daughter what she wears is everybody’s business and everybody’s approval proves her great worth.

Dad Wears Short Shorts to Teach Daughter a Lesson, Becomes Online Celeb (Sept 2013)

Thanks for sharing the link Nidaa

Image from here, https://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/dad-wears-short-shorts-to-teach-daughter-a-lesson–becomes-online-celeb-171218029.html

‘Mackintosh decided to give his daughter a taste of her own medicine by dressing just like her. He cut the legs off of an old pair of jeans and put them on. His daughter tried to remain stoic all through dinner and a game of mini-golf, but finally broke when they made a stop for milkshakes, refusing to get out of the car with him.’

He said, “I hope that young women everywhere understand their great worth. I will look like an idiot any day if that point gets across.”

So here are some comments that convey how women are supposed to understand their own ‘great worth’.

Comment 1:

My daughter gets upset when we won’t let her by ‘sexy’ clothing. We tell her modest is hottest. Her body is for her and her husbands eyes only. And hopefully she will find the guy that loves her modesty. We know God has that special someone for her. And as a mother of two older teenage boys they tell us exactly what they think when they see girls with booty shorts on and mid drift shirts they are thinking oh she looks so pretty. They are thinking she is trashy and easy. Thank God they choose modest girlfriends. And treat them like ladies. Love this dad!

IHM: 

Women’s worth. 

1. Why tell a young girl her body is everybody’s business and belongs to her future ‘husband’s eyes only’?  

Here is what Will Smith said, and I agree. 

How can you teach her that you’re in control of her body? If I teach her that I’m in charge … she’s going to replace me with some other man when she goes out in the world. ..She has got to have command of her body.

2. ‘Modest is hottest’ is contradictory – and both objectify women’s bodies and both are meant to control women’s sexuality. 

Eg. Bikini vs Burka: The Debauchery of Women

Why must an adult fit into somebody’s ideas of ‘hottest’?

Who decides what is “‘sexy’ clothing”? The same people who also decide who should not wear this “‘sexy’ clothing”

3. The teenage boys will be disappointed when they realise that many women may not value their approval or opinion. 

Eg. What do ‘Modest’ women have that their ‘Immodest’ sisters don’t…

4. The teenage boys are being given the impression that women who wear short shorts deserve their disapproval. How likely are they to blame women’s clothing for sexual assaults?

5. What if these teenage boys find short shorts ‘hotter’ than modest shorts? WIll they then ‘respect’ the women they are finding attractive, or call them sluts and try to like marriageable women who have been raised to seek their approval? What if the teenage boys are not interested in women? 

Eg. That special combination of beauty and innocence, the pretty inspires men to protect and defend it.

6. Will they judge, blame, shame, control and feel disappointed when they find that many women own their own bodies?  

7. Aren’t the teenage boys being raised with a sense of entitlement? 

Eg. Boy friends are new parents

Another comment:

Just like his shirt says “Best Dad Ever!” Why because he cares about the character and dignity of that little girl he hopes to give away on her wedding day!

IHM: Why make being ‘given away’ in marriage a given in that little girl’s life? 

Comment 3:

When i was a teenager i wore too much makeup. My dad walked past me one day and said…cute girls dont wear makeup. I have not worn makeup since. Funny part is my mom had talked to me about this but it didnt stop me from wearing makeup. This is why we need more GOOD dads in the home.

IHM: A woman’s worth lies in being found ‘cute’ by men?

Comment 4 – Not surprisingly,

I am a single man who admires a woman’s body but I do believe young women in school even university need to mantain decency in thier attire. Showing off all your legs and your butt cheeks is not at all attractive…it’s disgusting !

What makes some teenage sons and daughters grow up believing that women were created to make men’s world ‘attractive’?

How about – You don’t owe prettiness to anyone.?

Related Posts:

“So why do we wear clothes again??”

A response to: Why we think women activists should change their attitude of “wear what you like”

The Miss Italia beauty contest has banned bikinis in favour of swimsuits.

Weird, funny facts about Misogynists.

 And how women’s bodies are different, so they need to be covered for their own safety.

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An email: He did not want me to be “more” educated than he was.

Sharing an email… the email writer explained at the end of her mail why she thought this email should be shared. I agree 🙂 Tagged this email – ‘bravo’
Dear IHM,
I’m a 23 year old ardent fan of your blog. I wanted to tell you about my own experience  with a relationship and if you feel it could help young girls, please share it on your blog.
I was 17, just done with high school, when my friend for three years, ‘K’ asked me out. I too had feelings for him and it all started. By then he had shifted to the US with his family. So it was a long distance relationship. I was alright with it because I’m not the kind of person who believes in going out hand in hand to prove my love. He too wasn’t of that sort. What was cute to him before we got “committed” (if that’s the term I can use), was no longer cute. He had a lot of issues with me if I wore jeans or sleeveless tops or cut my hair or had male friends or spoke in a language that isn’t “brahmin” or mingled with relatives from my mother’s side. (My parents had an inter caste and inter lingual marriage and I have always been taught to “never” discriminate people on the basis of their caste.)
I, being the only child, was very emotionally attached to this guy. It was hard for me to let go off him. I knew he was the wrong guy for me. I was scared to be termed as a “bitch” by friends, ’cause that’s how people around me were.
1) At 17, it’s wrong to see someone.
2) Even if you do, he has to be the one you marry.
3) If you don’t, you’re termed a “bitch”.
I had my engineering entrances lined up. I had prepared day and night for the IIT-JEE. He had issues with me going to IIT – the reason he gave was that he didn’t want me away from my parents. I said, ok, I’ll go with *** exam and get enrolled in *** college in our city. He had issues with that also. He then said, he did not want me to get into a co-ed college.
I said ok, fine! I mentioned another “women’s” college. Then came the actual reason. He did not want me to be “more” educated than he was. I didn’t pick up a fight then and said, let’s see what happens. (He was in his final year of engineering then).
Once, while discussion about my parents, something about dowry came in. And I proudly told him how my father denied taking dowry, which was a very essential “custom” on my mother’s side. I also added how my father keeps telling that he wouldn’t marry his daughter to anyone who asks for dowry. (Yes, I wanted to make it clear to him 😛 )
Hell broke lose.
Cutting the fight short, these were his exact words, “If you don’t bring in dowry, then imagine what kind of a burden you’d be to my family, because I anyway don’t want you to work”
Too much for an 18 year old girl to think about? I don’t think so. At 18, if she has the right to vote for the largest democracy of the world, she can chose whom she wants to spend her life with.
I had to decide to let go off him that very instant. It wasn’t easy for me.
There were occasions when I went back asking him if we could sort it out. He laid of a few conditions for me, which included that I bring dowry, flunk atleast one semester (I have been an honor roll student right from my LKG), stop talking to male friends, etc. In short, I was supposed to be his toy.
I sent him one message in reply to his nasty mail. “F*** Off”.
I have never spoken to him after that. He keeps stalking my face book profile. He tried obtaining my contact number through a lot of mutual friends. He tried calling up my parents (They had the same numbers). But I always was faster and cleverer than him. I blocked him from everything, dad and mum’s phone, cousins and mutual friends ids, my ids and my life.
I now have a very understanding man in my life, someone who can never be compared to him and I’m happy.
Why did I want to share it with you?
Because of one particular post that I came across in your blog about a 15 or 16 year old who got dumped because she refused to have sex with her boyfriend. I’ve been meaning to write this for a long time but just couldn’t gather everything and put it in words. I guess there are more such girls out there who need to realise that their life will be much better after walking out of relationship which do not bring joy to them.
Lots of Love,
Related Posts:

Kids strangle friend, nail him to wall.

GHAZIABAD: Two teenagers aged 14 and 15 years allegedly strangled their 13-year old friend with a copper wire and then pinned his body to a wall using iron nails. The children were paid Rs 20,000 by a 35-year-old woman,Sabroon,to commit the murder.

…Locals said Shaukat had been behaving violently lately. He had murdered over three dogs and cut off wings of birds and forced them to fly. [Link, TOI ].

What would make two young boys do something like this?

There were indications. Shaukat (not real name) had been cruel earlier – cruelty to animals is one of the indications of Conduct Disorder. But symptoms are often not taken seriously.

Children with the disorder may exhibit any of these behaviors:

  • abusing drugs or alcohol dependence
  • physical cruelty to animals or people
  • cheating in games or at school
  • deliberately destroying property
  • forcing sexual activity on others
  • having frequent physical fights, bullying, threatening, or intimidating others
  • having difficulty interacting with others or behaving in social or school setting
  • [More indications and information here.]
  • These young boys found empty beer bottles and probably plan to sell them to buy some treats. Do the parents know where they are and what they are doing? Most Indian parents feel boy children do not need much guidance or supervision. There’s also  a belief  that only girls (if at all) need to be protected from sexual abuse.

    Valentine’s Day Difficulties ;)

    This 13th Feb, while standing in a long queue at Archie’s I couldn’t resist grinning at a teenager who wished (aloud) she had brought her mother for gift shopping.

    Her dad looked lost and helpless, but I clearly heard him comment on the IQ level of the one the gift was being bought for 😉

    My Daughter whispered she was glad she didn’t bring her dad with her because she was sure he was not above making such comments.

    Another mother ahead of me in the queue, moaned, “Valentine’s day nahi hua, kyaa ho gaya!” (It’s Valentine’s Day or what is it!). I would have sympathised if she didn’t then turn to look adoringly at the two cute looking causes of her sighing and cribbing.

    And then there’s this news that some parents have spies to keep an eye on their adolescent children on Valentine’s Day.

    My wasted advice!

    I was driving and Daughter was gushing over how much she loves the vibrant colours of the ethnic wear we had just bought for her, and then Radio One plays this beautiful song, “Aaj din chadiya tere rang warga…”

    The beauty of his plea was striking after the post about Stalkers and Losers yesterday.

    IHM: ‘”Wo jo mujhe dekh ke hanse, pana chahoon raat din jise, rabba mainu naam kar use, tainu dil da wastaa…” (The one I meet in my dreams, the one I want to be mine, God, give that one to me, my heart is breaking…) I never noticed the lyrics before!  …this is a lovely song.

    Daughter: I would be scared to ask God for something like this, … what if God grants the wish and I realise he wasn’t the right guy?

    IHM: You can add a clause in your prayers, ” God, only if he is the right one, then and only then should he be mine, if he isn’t, then may I feel nothing for him, and may he feel nothing for me.”  😉

    Daughter: The best I like are the yellows! Mustard would go well with red.

    My advice is wasted on them!

    What’s wrong with paalak paranthas?

    Daughter is home for Dushshera Holidays. She wants to know, if we have started feeling any symptoms of the Empty Nest Syndrome yet…  (Not really, but that will have to be another post!)

    I love lazy Sundays like today, and the racket is a change.

    So I am not demanding that the music volume be brought down. The kids are watching All the single ladies (Beyonce) on Video Music Awards, on Vh1.

    I know we will have only the sounds of ESPN and Son’s guitar playing again soon.

    But there were other noises in the house today.

    Of Daughter demanding to know how many aloo paranthas Son had, because only palak-paranthas were left while she waited for pickle (to be home delivered by the local grocery-wala), and then after some negotiations, she emerged triumphantly in front of the TV with the rationed, carbohydrates packed aloo paranthas on her plate.

    When my mom saw her like this in Delhi she declared that she had ‘gone on my husband’s side’!  😉

    (He he she has forgotten my siblings’ who-ate-more-mangoes fights every summer.)

    Do you watch Ladies Special on Sony?

    Ever wondered why our TV shows can’t make money without talking about patni dhram and ghar ki izzat? Well then watch Ladies Special.

    I happened to watch a scene where Geeti’s parents are worried because Jassi, an industrialist’s spoiled son asked her to come with him to his farmhouse…

    In today’s episode Geeti blames herself for all the trouble she brought on her family. Bollywood would have expected her to hang herself from the ceiling fan? (Taliban would have her stoned to death).

    In ‘Ladies Special’ Geeti is told, “Don’t blame yourself… Girls always blame themselves for whatever happens to them, …. everybody tells them either their clothes were not right, or they were out at the wrong time…

    It struck a chord.

    Is Hard work Overrated?

    Maybe…

    A friend was trying to tell me that I was wrong to think that some students were not cut out for some subjects or careers. (For example Science and Math). She insists that hard work is all that is needed to do very well in any line.

    I am not convinced.

    The same student who excels in Biology effortlessly might find Mathematics a problem. Another student might excel at writing essay but may be only average at sports, no matter how hard they try.

    This young man I know, was an average student (and considered lazy though he was devoted to his guitar), but has a successful career as a pilot today. Another one whose mother was forever complaining about his mediocre grades and time wasted in reading, is studying law at one of the best Institutes in the country. Although he is extremely well read, he would still be considered lazy by conventional standards. It seems hard work is hard work only when you hate it.

    Another girl did well as a sincere student, and scored well above 90%, she wanted to be a Journalist, but has now joined a little known, private Engineering College. The parents feel she must be financially independent and writing (or being a Journalist) can only be a good hobby. They are sure that being hard working she will find success in any field. I  wonder if that could be considered taking a chance.

    When we were young a brilliant scholar refused to join any (much coveted) medical college, because she wanted to study Food and Nutrition. I have no idea if she made a career at all, but at the time everybody thought she was being foolish.  Then there was this third year IIT student who left IIT and decided to study Literature. (I feel he was rebelling against his parents), I also thought he was a little mad, he had only one year left, and he should have finished his course. These two could succeed in any field it seemed, without much hard work. So far as I know they did nothing much, but seemed content. (No contact, so not sure)…

    I wonder if in most careers you need PR (people skills, public relations) along with hard work. Some people succeed purely on basis of PR and sometimes (sadly) back stabbing! Though these might take some hard work too.

    I would say there are many different kind of intelligence. Some are great at subjects that are never graded and these are the ones who surprise us with their success.

    Determination, perseverance, memory, retention ability and discipline are all graded (some indirectly) and help up one score but People Skills are never graded, yet this one skill can make life and success come easy.

    Attitude (another magic word) is not accurately graded in our board exams. More than even people skills I think attitude is what makes you happy or miserable or successful.

    Those who are doing what they like to do appear to be having a lot of fun, so much so that their hard work is almost invisible or camouflaged by fun, but I guess they still need the right attitude and people skills (PR etc) in most careers to succeed (whatever their definition of success is).

    I wonder how far hard work can make up for lack of genuine interest or aptitude or attitude or PR skills…

    Perfect Parenting in 55 words ;)

    Somewhere is Texas.

    “I love him!”

    “You can’t go out with him.”

    “He loves Jazz!!!”

    Silence.

    “I love him!”

    “You aren’t yet sixteen…!”

    “I’ll instantly grow up at 16?!”

    “18.”

    “18?!!  …Aaargh…!!! It’s just a movie!”

    “Not till you’re eighteen.“

    “Why not?”

    Silence.

    “Aaargh…”

    “Sigh! Parenting in India was so easy. Beat them and lock them up.”


    Here’s a father who goes through much worse, with no such easy parenting skills 😉

    (Movie name: Dan in real life)

    Teenagers!

    I am driving three teenagers to school. They are discussing MCQs (Multiple Choice Questions) in Biology.

    One moment I hear an exclamation, “No, no!…Mitochondria is wrong.

    Suddenly this guy on a two wheeler emerges from the left, and turns to crash into the bumper of our car, turns right and disappears into a narrow lane.

    My only passing thought, “Two wheeler drivers!”

    And then I notice an excited clamour in the car.

    “No! He was cute!!”

    “He looked like Imraan Khan!!”

    “Why all black?  Even his shoes were black?”

    “Saw his ear stud?”

    “Even the cap was black!?”

    “Was that a dragon tattoo?”

    “I don’t like such big tattoos…”

    “… this one is ‘c’,  Medulla Oblangata?”

    “Yes, ‘c’ is right, … but I can’t get this one!”

    “This is from Genetics.”

    I know I can never focus on two thing like this, I can’t even stand music while reading.