Why We Laugh With Kapil at Things That Are Not Funny at All

Don’t you think misogynistic ideas and prejudices are reinforced by our tolerance of them?

Would you say that, ‘nobody is objecting’ conveys ‘nobody is offended’?

And does, ‘nobody is offended’ imply that the ideas must be acceptable?

What makes some things funny for some people and offensive for others?

Shaloo shared this link, Why We Laugh With Kapil at Things That Are Not Funny at All

The joke is always on her. The middle-aged bua who cannot get married because she is not eligible for love anymore and so must be laughed at. The spirited young woman played by a man in drag who must be insulted because ‘she’ is fat and must be compared to a bull-dozer and assorted inanimate objects. And though ‘she’ always retorts saucily, the good-natured entertainment revolves around how she comes across. Too big for her boots. Too big to be ignored. Just too big.

… Comedy Nights With Kapil (Colors) must say something about us.

Even though Kapil Sharma always delivers a hurried disclaimer in the end and says, “Aurton ki izzat karein,” (always respect women), in his skits, respect is not easily available to women or to the naukar (the domestic help), or anyone who is too thin, too old, too strange or too poor. [Why We Laugh With Kapil at Things That Are Not Funny at All]

Do you agree with the article?

Here is a comment that does not,

“… its weird how people instantly trace any direct-indirect signs, patterns of misogyny or negative generalization of women in literally everything… ideologies, preferences controlling subconscious minds of feminists who have license to get offended and to come up with such theories after attaining a saturation point. There are countless examples of negative generalization of men like almost all unhygienic, germs careers in ads for handwash, soaps, sanitizers are males or in beauty products where every other man is ‘chauvinist pig’ stuck in the Smita Patil art movies timezone & backdrop,….and then the typical TV Shows where men emotional quotient (EQ) is equivalent to orangutan, in every movie-show-report script if there is a comparison/contest between men and women the unsaid rule is women should win…..If I am sounding ridiculous in similar comparison then I hope you got my point.”

 But don’t the ‘countless examples of negative generalization of men’ only reinforce the stereotypes further?

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A man needs to feel the sense of superiority in order to feel that he is the ‘provider’ in the relationship.

“Even though they are equals, a man needs to feel the sense of superiority in order to feel that he is the ‘provider’ in the relationship.”

What do you think is this article trying to convey? Do you think such views are  likely to be taken seriously?

Please note the use of these terms,

taming a tigress

an ego boost

hard to get women

a man needs

Men always look

sense of superiority

sense of acquisition

nurturing and flexible

Link shared by Anoosha Reddy.

Men are wary of Alpha women – TOI, Relationships

“…men try hard to date such women, simply because they are hard to get. Dating an alpha women increases the self confidence in a man and gives them an ego boost. It is more like ‘taming a tigress’ and gives the man a sense of acquisition. However, marrying them may be a concern as such women are more aggressive and dominating which usually causing conflicts in the relationship. Men always look for women who are rather nurturing and flexible. Or women who will look up to them. Even though they are equals, a man needs to feel the sense of superiority in order to feel that he is the ‘provider’ in the relationship.”

Related posts:

How can the society ensure that marriage (and homemaking) does not result in women becoming financially dependent on their husbands?

Sending a girl a text that says “good morning beautiful” can change her attitude for the whole day.

Sending a girl a text that says “good morning beautiful” can change her attitude for the whole day.

Saw this on facebook. Do you agree? Do you find this cheesy?

Would a text like this change your attitude for the whole day? Why? Would it depend on who sent it?  How would it change your attitude for the whole day…? (as in, what exactly would you feel)

How is it that we never hear about effects of hearing ‘good morning handsome’ on non-girls?

Do you think girls need to hear this more than everybody else? How come everybody else doesn’t (seem to) need to hear it as much?

Are they too self assured or is their looking beautiful and having a changed attitude for the whole day less important?

Or is it that everybody else needs more than just such a text message to believe that they are in somebody’s thoughts, and they are being considered attractive? Or perhaps their happiness doesn’t depend on how attractive the sender considers them.

Weird, funny facts about Misogynists.

The inspiration for the list below came from this list.  No humor is intended.

Note: All statistics are guess work.

We all know Misogynists are pretty commonly found in all parts of the world.  Have you ever imagined another side to them, not an insecure one at that? Actually, Misogynists can be quite intelligent; they are capable of doing things that would make men/women go red in the face! Such is their obsession with women, women’s sex lives, women’s clothes, women’s bodies… ahh the list is endless.

Misogynists are psychologically and physically different from men/women. They hide behind religion, gender stereotypes, patriarchy, custom, tradition, family values, honor etc. They may be obsessed with women’s age, weight, body shapes, skin tones, hymen, uterus etc but seeing women as humans is something Misogynists are not to known to do. On that note, we explore some funny, weird facts about Misogynists that are lesser-known.

Misogynists always carry their Sexism around: They see ‘women-folk’ as a different ‘species’ created to provide sex and be mothers, so they may feel awkward when women behave like people. And they really have no idea why women would object to being treated like mysterious aliens instead of ordinary humans.

Misogynists are obsessed with what women wear: They don’t just talk and write about what women wear, they try to enforce  their choices too. Indian male and female misogynists seem to see the sari quite favorably. Misogynists in other parts of the world have different preferences, but irrespective of location, misogynists always find time to watch what women wear.

Misogynists may or may not bathe everyday, it doesn’t seem to change their misogyny: They may or may not profess cleanliness and hygiene. They may or may not rely on deodorants and perfumes to smell good, but  97% misogynists think women’s bodies are their business.

Misogynists may or may not eat a hell lot: But they are known to make rules about what, how, when and how much should women eat and drink. 67% percent misogynists think women should eat after their spouse has eaten, 58% percent believe that women should eat after the entire family has eaten.

89.6% misogynists feel if you know what one human female does/eat/like, you know them all.

Why Misogynists love TV serials/Soap operas so much: We know most of the Saas-bahu TV serials and David Dhawan kind of movies look so stupid but Misogynists love them/find them funny. It’s possible that they just want to feel that there are other people like themselves? Now you should know why a Balika Vadhu kind of shows are created and are so famous.

Misogynists are also known to love to talk about women and sex: 99% percent of Misogynists tend to be obsessed with the female anatomy (including hymen and uterus etc). Most misogynists find feminists annoying because hey feminists make women sound like humans!

Other interesting facts about misogynists.

Misogynists can be found in male and female gender.

88% of misogynists tend to use generalizations and stereotypes to express, propagate and defend their Misogyny.

Misogynists maybe insecure, illiterate or highly educated, they come in many colors, shapes and sizes.

93% of misogynists have grown up in rigid Patriarchal environment. Strangely 14% of misogynists come from seemingly liberal environment too.

94.8% of Misogynists don’t realise that respect is a mutual thing.

72.3% percent Misogynists believe they have a sense of humor.

Around 86% of Misogynists claim to know what women think and how they feel, specially when it comes to sex, chocolates, mirrors, bags, high heels, shopping, other women, diamonds and  relationships.

78.6% misogynists don’t like women who disagree with them, 22% love to try and convince women why they are god’s gift to men and women.

Misogynists often support crimes against women, they also commit various crimes against women. And in the end explain that somehow the women themselves were responsible for the crimes.

87.2% misogynists believe women can spend a whole day before the mirror, 89.8% believe this is what provokes misogynists to commit sexual crimes.

80% misogynists claim women don’t need sex as often as men do. 86% percent misogynists feel sex is more about emotions for women.

When asked to choose between being born a man or a woman in their next life, 100% of Misogynists say they do not want to be reborn as women.


– If you know any other funny facts about Misogynists please add to the list.

Wish every girl was like Aisha?

Man: “I can sleep with you, but I can’t marry you.”
Woman: “It’s okay I will find you a girl in the matrimonial.”

Man: “I am going out with Vanessa.”
Woman: “Shall I book you movie tickets?”
Man: “Aren’t you jealous?”
Woman: “I am not programmed for that.”
Man: “Wish every girl was like Aisha.”

What do you think of this advertisement?

I found it offensive, and let me try to understand why.

1. It seems to propagate the thought that men want sex without commitment or marriage. And women in relationships with such men, generally want to marry them. [Edited to add: And if they don’t, then they are seen as women of dubious morality or respectability.]

Now, patriarchal societies have high tolerance for men sleeping with women who are ostracized or condemned for sleeping with them (Sluts, sex workers, ‘moral-less women’).

It’s only when men have sex with women who they see as ‘respectable’ that it is considered ‘harmful to the society’. (More on such attitudes in the Related Posts below)

This stereotype is used to excuse sexual harassment and even violent sexual crimes by men. “The worst of all is this assumption of the unbuttoned, lust driven man who can’t control himself.” (click to read)

All this encourages double standards.

‘Got stared at’ poster shared on facebook. Click to see more posters.[If you do it you are a Stud, if I do it I am a Slut?]

2 – It seems to convey that all women pressurize unwilling men to marry them. (Stereotype: Men want sex, and women want marriage.)

Women are definitely under more pressure to get married (and stay married). It’s a matter of grave concern for many that this is changing – in a society with Gender Neutral Moral Values, some women might want men like Aisha.

3. It conveys that all women are irrationally jealous and men find it inconvenient.

Jealousy has no gender. Women are culturally permitted to express how they feel, while men, unfortunately, are discouraged from expressing any emotion except anger and violence. News like this is not uncommon – Jealous Indian cut wife’s throat eight times in Oz

And isn’t is sensible to want to have a realistic idea about a partner’s expectations from  and commitment to a relationship, specially if they seem to be interested in sleeping with a partner while planning to marry somebody else?

4. It also seems to convey that men want to be in relationships with robots programmed for providing unquestioning service  and obedience. [Kislay Usha Chandra blogged about Robotic Naari, here ]

Some men might want women who behave like they have no feelings or minds of their own, but a vast majority seem to prefer humans over robots.

What do you think makes this ad offensive?

Related posts:

An email: An Old fashioned boy friend and a Liberal girl friend.
We generally expect men to be afraid of commitment, but obviously women can have similar doubts.
Live in Relationships: The man gets a temporary disposable wife?
Live-in relationships in general are inherently advantageous to men and disadvantageous to women?
Rapist said that coming from Afghanistan meant he didn’t understand what ‘consent’ was.
So how does Delhi – NCR Police define Rape?
How Victim Blaming confuses rapists, police and the society about when exactly does non-consensual-sex becomes a crime.

18 Life Lessons I Want My Daughters to Hear.  – By Rebecca Lammersen (being shared on facebook)

So why do some men compare and compete with other men?

I feel Patriarchy puts women in situations where they feel they are competitors. And then this comparison might become a habit 😦

It’s not easy for most people to support or encourage a rival, how would you feel in this mother’s place? The daughter in law is also given a standard to work for.  🙄

If married men lived with their in laws as a rule, how would the relationship between a man and his father in law have been?

When men and women, or two men, are in competition with each other, the feeling is not too different. From sexual harassment, slut-shaming, spreading false stories about (perceived or real) rivals, men and women seem to try everything to put rivals down.

Jealousies and one-upmanship are sometimes seen as machismo. Watch ‘Hayward 5000’ ads on You Tube for examples.

If men are judged by something they have no control over, one can expect reactions like this… Women might react with similar jealousy.

And why don’t all women value female-friendships, which often provide sensitive, solid, reliable, support systems for them?

Traditionally women were encouraged to see their home and family as their world.

Friendships outside of the family were (and are still) seen as a frivolous waste of time (for women). Even today marriage can end women’s friendships.

The only women they could interact with were those who might see them as rivals for the attention of the more powerful family members (often male).

Female bonding, where a woman can choose who she bonds with, is a new, amazing and empowering concept.

‘Sex and the City’ and ‘Ladies’ Special’ (on Sony TV) are  examples of female-bonding.

I wish I could find some videos – advertisements, songs or trailers on women-bonding. Please do share if you find any.

Do men care less and women care more in relationships?

A friend recently said women had high and unrealistic expectations from relationships, which lead to disappointments, insecurity and jealousy.

Let’s assume what she says is true for some women.

Could it be that some women feel insecure because they grow up hearing their life had little meaning without a partner?  Persistent little reminders like nobody blesses women with ‘jug jug jiyo‘ (may you live long). All blessings to women ring like warnings –  to get married and to die before their husbands do for example. (saubhgyawati raho, sada suhagan raho i.e. may you never be a widow)

[Note: Why not wish women a happy, healthy life too?]

Their partners need the relationship as much as they do, but if a man shows he values his spouse or his marriage, he is promptly labeled a JKG (a Joru Ka Gulaam). If he is insecure, the only way he must express it is with violence. My cook came with a swollen face last week because her husband suspects she manages to have an affair sometime between my cooking and three other jobs she has. Another woman I knew found her land line phone locked when the husband went for work (they are separated now).

Acid throwing and murders by men who couldn’t handle indifference are not unheard of.

I have read tweets like the one about a lucky husband being congratulated because he got a car for his wife in an exchange offer. Traditionally no woman would dare make such blasphemous jokes about her pati parmeshwar. And traditionally men must make such jokes to show how they don’t care for their wives 🙄 (Have you met/read someone who does that 😉 )

And then the society wonders why some women need to know if they are loved. Do you think Gauri Khan worries if SRK loves her? 😉 Anyone knows the story of 8 cows?

Do men really care less and women care more in relationships?

What do you think?

Wordless Wednesday: Last Warning!

This is the exact shade of pink!

So if you have not picked the tag yet, you know what to expect 😈

What tag? 🙄

Click below,

My Sins Against Gender Stereotypes (SAGS)“?

The most sinful SAGS will be announced on coming Wednesday, please publish your confessions latest by this weekend.

PS: Isn’t this picture a bit of a SAGS? After Pink Chaddi Campaign, it seems Pink has become a colour of protests everywhere 🙂

Note: Picture taken from TV. No offense intended to any colour or clothing.

Invitation to Sinners, to join group on Facebook

All Sinners Against Gender Stereotypes are cordially sinfully invited to click here and join SINNERS AGAINST GENDER STEREOTYPES (SAGS) on Facebook.

Please share the links to your SAGS confessions (posts about your ‘paap ka khulaasa‘)  on the Facebook page, so that other paapi like you can also read and find solace in knowing they are not alone in their ghor paap.

If you think such groups are blasphemous – kindly turn your ire towards Pinash whose idea it was 😈

Your ire for  terms Paapi, Ghor Paap and Paap ka khulasa may be directed towards,

Blue Mist – Paapi

Sandhya– Ghor paap

Sakshi – Paap ka Khulaasa

:mrgreen:

Badges for My Sins Against Gender Stereotypes :)

Suranga emailed me these gorgeous badges – please feel free to add these badges to your side bar if you have picked the tag and saved yourself from twelve years of wrong colours and gifts 😉

A Pink Badge for men 🙂

A Blue Badge for women 🙂

Please link the lists of your Sins Against Gender Stereotypes to this post, so that I can send packets of chocolates in glossy pink wrappers for men, and TV remotes and beer mugs in Navy blue wrappers for women :mrgreen: …in case you have neglected to tag twelve friends 😈

NOTE: How would it be if there were special badges for best three female and best  three male winners?

With thanks to Hitchwriter 🙂

And now thanks to PNA – we have a  Facebook group called : Sinners Against Gender Stereotypes (SAGS)

Join and share the link to your SAGS post with other sinners 🙂