Shameless women.

Did the man in this ad ‘instil faith’ in you? Does he come across as respectful towards women?

This witty take on the much beaten down Indian man hopes to instil faith in the women of today.’

According to Story Pick – If You Think All Indian Men Are The Same, You Haven’t Probably Met The Right Ones. So, would you count this man amongst the ‘Right ones’?

Link shared by Kavya. 

Compare this man to Milkha Singh (in the video below) assuring that his ‘No’ did not in any way indicate disrespect or ‘insult’.

What do you think?

Related Posts:

Ek Hindustani ladki ki Izzat.

A tag: But when a woman sees a hot man, nothing happens in her brain?

Romanticizing innocence, chastity and related taboos for women.

“There is so little conversation about a woman’s desire for sex that a lot of people simply assume it doesn’t exist.”

Of Love, Lust and Respect

Triya charitram, Purushasya bhagyam, Devo Na Janati, Kuto Manushya…

 

Is it possible to insult someone who doesn’t value your opinion of them?

If a woman does not think being sexually active is immoral, then is it possible to ‘insult’ her by calling her names that are supposed to indicate she is sexually active?

If a woman truly does not see being widowed as immoral or criminal, then would she be offended if attempts are made to ‘insult’ her by calling her a widow? Maybe what is hurtful is that someone wants to offend or even hurt? But what does it say for the society that looks upon loss of a life partner (only for women) as not sad and unfortunate, but as an ‘insult’?

But then it seems telling someone they are acting like women is an insult, sometimes even women can be insulted with reminders that they mere women/girls.

Telling a man he is not a ‘man’ (or ‘man enough’) would also be an insult only if the man sees ‘not being a man’ as an insult.

What does such an insult say about the one who is attempting to insult?

1. In patriarchal societies adjectives/nouns/verbs/metaphors/etc that convey that women are not asexual, can be used to insult women and all the men authorised by Patriarchy to control their sexuality – these include their husbands, brothers, fathers, uncles, community elders, a neighbour’s third cousin who happens to notice her crossing her lakshman rekha, also, her country men.

2. Since aggression is seen as an essential ‘manly’ quality , insult can be attempted by accusing a man of lack of aggression. Sexual aggression is also seen as manly, in fact it is a patriarchal tool to either insult or control women’s freedoms, which is why some sexual criminals claim to ‘teach a lesson’ to either the people they rape or their families or communities. And which is why sexual crimes should not be allowed to be seen as anything less than the crimes that they are. Molestation or street sexual harassment are not ‘insults’ or dishonour, they are serious crimes that support more crimes by preventing/curtailing women’s freedom to  move out of dangerous or unpleasant situations.

It also seems adjectives that describe anybody or anything that does not support the cause of Patriarchal abuse of human rights are ‘insults’.

‘Insult’ is a powerful patriarchal tool – but it can’t survive without support from those who agree to be ‘insulted’ when they have been criminally, maybe even grievously assaulted and or when they have been told they or their family members do not fit into Patriarchal stereotypes.

How would those who attempt to insult, deal with men and women who don’t think being sexually active (or not) is anybody’s business but an adult individual’s?

A comment on the previous post asked a reader:

But you never find any insult to be worth being offended by. Do you ?

What would you find ‘insulting’?

Would you be offended if you were called a misogynist or ‘a foot soldier of patriarchy’? What if you were called a slut, a virago, unladylike, shameless etc (if you are woman) or ‘a woman’ or a Joru ka Gulaam, if you are a man? How would you react?

What control would patriarchy have if it can’t insult those it attempts to control?

Related Posts:

Would women be in some ways empowered if they saw no shame in what they could risk being called?

Babe In Total Control Of Herself – B.I.T.C.H.

What the hell is difference between a homemaker and a porn star?

This Shame belongs to Who?

TO CALL A SPADE A S****

Delhi Belly: Indecent, immoral, abusive language. Permitted everywhere except on screen.

“Here’s why I think the society should not obsess over a woman’s virginity.”

Romanticizing innocence, chastity and related taboos for women.

Every blogger should mind their language.

Why does Gender Sensitivity in Legal Language matter.

What is this big problem with Bra Strap Showing?

Sharing an email. 

And it’s not just bra strap showing, it’s also not using the word bra, or period or vagina.

What is this big problem with Bra Strap Showing… Some Lady or other will point out and some will also with confidence tug my dress to position …Yeh Chakkar kya hai… And even those women with the 2×2 see-thru rubia, through which full bra is anyways visible..

Yeh chakkar kya hai 🙄 Is it a sin to wear a bra or not to wear …? yeh chakkar kya hai…koi to batao… I don’t wear at home while I breastfeed or simply like that.

I definitely wear while running or walking as i get hurt or at risk of tearing some muscle while running..

I dry them specifically in Sunlight so that I do not get some skin infection. But this seems like everyones business including those whose Vip ki chaddi hanging on the outermost dandi on the balcony also flying in skies many times …

yeh chakkar kya hai…koi to batao…

Related Posts:

This Shame belongs to Who?

TO CALL A SPADE A S****

Romanticizing innocence ignorance, chastity and related taboos for women.

“Sometimes it seems like every single thing I do has the potential to be something ‘provocative’.”

“There is so little conversation about a woman’s desire for sex that a lot of people simply assume it doesn’t exist.”

Patriarchy and Misogyny can’t survive without controlling female sexuality.

If the society stops punishing non-patriarchal expression of female sexuality, then nobody would care that chastity is romanticised and rewarded with    ‘approval’. Then rapes will be seen as crimes against people (not as crimes against honor, patriarchy or loss of virginity etc). Meaning, women will then be treated as people, and hurting them will be a crime.

We will see other changes too.

It will all begin with acknowledging that female sexuality exists.

Please read:

When women ask for it: Veena VenugopalKafila.org

“When did desire become a male privilege? There is so little conversation about a woman’s desire for sex that a lot of people simply assume it doesn’t exist…..

Truth is, female desire is as much a brute force as male desire….

Some of us take risks to indulge our desire. Some of us fight it, telling ourselves why this particular one is not good for us…

We probably don’t talk about what we desire enough. But we certainly think about it. So this will probably come as a surprise to you. When you proposition us, on the road, in the bus, or at a movie theatre, and we say no, we are not saying that we don’t feel any desire. We are simply saying that it’s not you who we desire.”

Related posts:

“Here’s why I think the society should not obsess over a woman’s virginity.”

Romanticizing innocence, chastity and related taboos for women.

“why not marry them first and then have sex ? What prevents you from doing it ? Deep within YOU WANT JUST SEX and nothing more”

Why exactly do we disapprove of Live-in relationships and Premarital sex?

She doesn’t feel any attraction or liking or even friendliness for the guy. No ‘Connection’

The coroner concluded that she was ‘sexually active’.

An email: Also this is a genuine question and not a pornographic mail.

13 things Indian Misogynists believe about men’s mothers and sisters.

“A clandestine, and irresponsible, affair may prove dangerous. A city girl learnt it the hard way,”

Live in Relationships: The man gets a temporary disposable wife?

Delhi Belly: Indecent, immoral, abusive language. Permitted everywhere except on screen.

Practical Paro Artless Chandramukhi (Dev D)

Slut Walk: Would women be in some ways empowered if they saw no shame in what they could risk being called?

Media continues to be sympathetic to the rapist.

This writer seems to think women in conservative clothing face no sexual harassment on the streets, and when women dress in certain ways they face more harassment. An honest rethink shows that to be untrue. I have blogged about traveling at night, in a non AC train compartment to a small town in India, in jeans.  It clearly reaffirms that the only thing that stops such men from harassing women is fear of unequivocal condemnation (which could lead to punishment). If we continue to blame women for asking for it, they would never have the confidence so needed for fighting back or for firmly refusing to tolerate harassment.
The media probably means well and is genuinely convinced that if all the women started dressing conservatively sexual crimes would come down, and if all the women started wearing jeans, short skirts and high heels, we’d see an increase in crimes against women. This ignorance mindset is the reason why we need discussions. awareness, rethinking, reconditioning and debates (etc) created by Slut Walk and such protests.

The writer says,

Even the basic argument of SlutWalkers that men should not ogle women who are dressed revealingly is ultimately unrealistic. Yes, a woman can control how she projects herself in the world but she needs to be aware that the way she dresses can trigger certain reactions around her which she cannot control.” [Link]

Such eagerness to defend sexual criminals is not unusual – it’s called Rape Culture – meaning a culture that justifies instead of condemning rape. Sex offenders are encouraged by this ignorance and excuses. Most rapists are aware that their crime might not be reported because the victims might fear  criticism just like this one for ‘triggering reactions they can’t control’.  Such mindset makes the victim the culprit, little realizing that sexual crimes are not a result of sudden uncontrolled impulses, the rapists (or molester) is generally aware that he would find direct or indirect sympathy, and the victim would either not report or be blamed for the rape.

My non Indian friends dress more conservatively in India. Then  why can’t Indian women Please Adjust?

My non-Indian friends in Delhi dress more conservatively than they would do in London or New York because they are aware of the cultural differences and wish to protect themselves against possible misinterpretation.

And that makes it okay for Indian media and police (etc) to not be taught that women’s clothing is not responsible sex crimes against women?

SlutWalkers inhabit a fantasy world if they think they can be invulnerable to the force of culture, history and social conditioning — and the fact that most of us take three seconds to form an opinion of someone based on their appearance or accent.

They know they are vulnerable because of a culture that excuses crimes against women and that is why they are trying to create awareness, debates and discussions – it’s okay to hear what an average street sexual offender feels to be able to stop such crimes.

And about history  🙄  read this, https://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2011/06/25/slut-walk-and-how-womens-bodies-are-different-so-they-need-to-be-covered-for-their-own-safety/

For those who prefer ‘decent‘ protests, did you even notice this or many other such protests?

If calling it Slut Walk gets people to notice the protest, and if it starts discussion, the protest is already a success. (Even if some people can’t adjust to women refusing to die of shame at being called behaya/sluts/besharam/other names that should have sent them scurrying for their dupattas)

Would women be in some ways empowered if they saw no shame in what they could risk being called?