“What do you think, blogger why Sexual Violence have increased at home in a country like INDIA which has the most peaceful religion?”

Sharing this comment because some of these points highlight how awareness or knowledge of sex, women’s sexuality, sex education, desire for sex and influence of other cultures continue to be viewed as the major causes for sexual crimes in India. 

Here’s the comment by him905. My response (to just some points) in blockquotes.

Causes of RAPE UPSURGE in our society.

IHM: Upsurge is only in reporting of rape – we have traditionally dealt with rapes with silencing of victim, that’s changing. 

1) PORN CULTURE-Today’s porn is not the same as it was invented back in 1950s where voluptuous women used to walk on beaches. It now portrays WOMEN as sex slave of MEN. NO WOMEN LIKE TO BE POUND BRUTALLY AND MAN HANDEDLY as is seen in Porn films.

Who wouldn’t want to display his manly power over women after watching a HARDCORE film (except educated, cultured and chivalrous men)?

IHM: Who? Someone who has had the opportunity to learn that rape is a serious and punishable crime, that women are people, that women are sexual people, that any sexual activity without consent is rape, that porn is not sex education. And someone who was permitted to find out how sex with consent could be.

WHY PORN? Science says-amygdala controls human emotions. Watching vulgar films increase dopamine levels which is responsible for arousing lustful desires against a woman. YES, LUSTFUL MEN and WOMEN HAVE HIGHER LEVELS OF DOPAMINE.
SO OUR GOVT MOVE ON BANNING PORNOGRAPHY AND VULGAR FILMS WHICH HAVE DESTROYED HAPPY HOMES IS AT LEAST AN EFFORT TO CURB RAPE MENACE IN OUR SOCIETY.

IHM: Rape is not always about sex or lust. Rape is frequently a patriarchal crime of hate, aggression, misogyny, ‘honor’, revenge or teaching a lesson. 

2) INHERENT MANLY CHARACTER-The above mentioned reason give boost to men to display his power over women. Women being weaker to men physically also give another reason to deflower her.

IHM:  A sexual assault should never be called ‘deflowering’ or any other term that disguises it or conveys that rape is about loss of virginity or honor.

And ‘manly-character’ is a patriarchal construct that causes a lot to harm to men and to the society because it includes aggression, anger, jealousy, hate, display of power and violence. Men are made to feel their worth lies in displaying these characteristics, and not in being themselves. 

What do you think, blogger why Sexual Violence have increased at home in a country like INDIA which has the most peaceful religion?

IHMI am not sure if any religion views a sexual assault as a violent crime against the victim, most seem to view it as deflowering, or stealing of something that belonged to the husband or community.

So far as I am aware, all religions are patriarchal. 

Fist blame Islamic Invaders and Christians for uprooting our society. Now blame men who watch porn secretly and later force his wife to have sex to vent out his lustful desires. Its common in lower middle class and labor families (rickshaw wala types) where men’s mind is corrupted.

IHM: Blame the legally sanctioned patriarchal sense of entitlement. Many men assume/hear and learn, that marriage means sex on demand. 

And blame the lack of effort by the society and the law to ensure that women stay in marriages only because they really want to. 

We actually pressurise the victims to support the crime by forbidding them from walking away from circumstances that lead to the crime. There is no effort to teach from childhood about abusive relationships, controlling relationships, seeking happiness for self.  Self reliance and freedom are looked down upon. No point talking about all of this – because we have a law that permits rape. In this regard Live in relationships are safer for women, but most religions don’t approve of that either. 

 

3) NUDITY OF WOMEN- Its not applicable to every man. Illiterate men, gangsters, hooligans usually cant tolerate a women walking in semi nude dress while showing tight boobs and ass. In ancient times, Indian women would not cover her breasts (see sculptures of ancient temples) or cover with diaphanous clothes, were more voluptuous because men at that time would respect women thanks to our vedic culture at that time.

IHM: Two many factually incorrect assertions here.

 

Mr Balvinder Singh’s experience in Nagaland shows making rules about covering up a woman’s body, is the beginning of objectification of women, to ensure ‘excitement’ does not ‘turn into monotony’. [link]

 

But let me ask,  do some men rape anybody they find sexually attractive?  If we are serious about controlling sexual crimes, then shouldn’t we aim to identify and lock away such men?

 

Rape is not always a crime of impulse or of finding someone sexually attractive  – most rapes are well planned, and more about hate or aggression than about the sexual attractiveness of the victim.

 

4) POLITICAL REASONS- Weak laws, political relations to escape imprisonment is one of the biggest cause of rape increasing in our country.

5) CONSENSUAL RELATIONSHIPS- This type of rape cases are common in rich class. Women are raped in farm houses although a sexual act is started by the mutual consent of the partners but later it becomes against a woman’s consent. She is usually given threat to disclose it in public.

IHM: Consensual relations become against woman’s consent? Rape is lack of consent. The moment there is denial of consent, a sexual act becomes rape.

Anybody who feels they can’t handle this, must inform those they wish to have sex with, so that they can be avoided, or can be locked away for public safety.

BIGGEST MYTHS REGARDING RAPE

1) INDIA HAS LARGEST NO OF RAPES. just because mainstream secular media highlights it in bold letters without knowing the facts. YOU CAN CHECK WIKIPEDIA LISTS OF TOP COUNTRIES IN RAPE. USA and other developed countries figure in top ten. India is in 20+ rank. India is still one of the safest places for women.

IHM: Denial is a common method used for ‘controlling’ crime. It has never worked.

2) DISCUSSIONS ON SEXUALITY- Indians might wonder that we don’t discuss sexuality openly which causes rape as it suppresses sexual desires. LIBERAL COUNTRIES FIGURE IN TOP TEN IN RAPE STATISTICS. WHY they are ahead of us? Discussing sexuality can teach you about a human body and sexual desires arises out of the environment in which the person is living, media effects and peer culture but it cant teach you about respecting a person as a whole including his body and emotions.

IHM: Discussion of sex could lead to sex. That’s fine. Sex is not a bad thing. We need to focus on controlling sexual assaults.

There should be no confusion – Sex is good, Sexual assault is bad.

Mixing morals, virginity, personal sexual habits/preferences/orientations of adults distracts from the issue at hand.

3) ALL RAPE CASES ARE GENUINE- one third rape cases in NCR are false ones as cited by The Hindu’s article on rape analysis and statistics. WOMEN know very well how to malign a man!

IHM: Rape needs to be defined clearly, legally. Lack of consent  or Forced sex is rape.

Consensual premarital sex is not rape. A sexual assault upon. Sex ‘with promise to marry’ is cheating, not rape.

4) WOMEN SHOULD COVER THEIR BODIES- IT will not solve the problem. Rape cases are very common in muslims countries although it arises due to pathetic treatment of women in Islam.

5) PATRIARCHY SYSTEM-Talking about ancient INDIAN society, patriarchy gave many rights and freedom to women which can even give an inferiority complex to women advocating feminism! RAPE DIDN’T EXIST. I know it because I am studying Hinduism as my hobby. Today’s patriarchy got distorted because Indian men failed to realise the glory of women in hinduism and instead went ahead like that of abrahmic religions’ patriarchy style.

IHM: Patriarchy ‘gave’ rights and freedom to women?Rape didn’t exist when forced sex was not viewed as rape.

 

‘the glory of women in hinduism’? While misogyny is common to most religions and cultures, I think Hinduism alone denies widows even the most basic human rights.

6) LAW IS THE ONLY SOLUTION TO END RAPE- USA has a well ordered and controlled LAW SYSTEM in the world but not an effective system to curb the social evils like rape. USA RANKS NO 1 IN RAPE CRIMES DESPITE BEING LIBERAL ON SEX. why? USA believes in controlling the social evils by creating a fear against that evil in criminals and general public. It can give a rapid solution but not a permanent solution in long run. It believes in controlling the derivative (by making laws) but not the root cause of rape (problem with a man’s psyche and vulgar milieu). In INDIA due to our culture, majority of men still see women as a respectful person. The culprits are the ones who see women as a sex slaves of men. INDIA is too following the path of USA to establish the stringent laws against rape and harassment but it will also fail in long run like USA.

IHM: ‘In INDIA due to our culture, majority of men still see women as a respectful person. The culprits are the ones who see women as a sex slaves of men.’

A culture that permits rape within marriage and also views marriage as the sole purpose of a woman’s life – how does it see women as respectful people and not as ‘sex slaves of men’?

Our problems appear unsolvable because we have failed to understand ourselves in our own language, on our own terms. To top the hypocrisy, on the same few square inches of lifestyle websites we have the pontification of the social scientists on how lustful desires can spice our lives and liberate society from clutches of centuries of restraint promoted on various lifestyle websites but we do not see our contradictions. We can emulate aspects of USA’s well-functioning systems of local government and law and marry it with dharma society to create a better India. But even to learn from others we must study them on our own terms. Its applicable to every country of this world.

IHM: Our problems appear unsolvable? Which problems?

 

Consensual-sex is not a problem. Lustful desires (even women’s lustful desires) are not a problem.  Premarital sex is not a problem (and nobody’s business so long there is consent, willing partners above the age of consent)

 

Our only problem is that we refuse to view Sexual Assault as a criminal assault on a person. Comparable to an acid attack, stabbing or an amputation.

 

And to answer this question again,

“What do you think, blogger why Sexual Violence have increased at home in a country like INDIA which has the most peaceful religion?”

IHM: Sexual violence at home has not increased –  it is being reported more.  Victim blaming, shaming, silencing has lesser hold on the society now, so maybe we are beginning to finally deal with an issue we can no longer pretend away.

 

Related Posts:

Justice Verma Committee is inviting solutions and ideas in regards to sexual harassment/ assault/ molestation/ rape.

How does an average Indian define Rape, Child Abuse and Consensual Sex?

So how does Delhi – NCR Police define Rape?

“If we have people of your ilk in Bharat we do not need external enemies at all!”

A response to: Why we think women activists should change their attitude of “wear what you like”

Do some of us see anything that is done purely for pleasure (no moral or monetary benefits), as wrong?

‘I’m now thoroughly convinced that the entire concept of virginity is used to control female sexuality.’

Making Marital Rape a legal offence is the fastest way to make it clear that Rape means forced sex, not lost Virginity or Honor.

Here’s why I think the society should not obsess over a woman’s virginity.

‘Rape is theft of the victim’s potential to fulfil her destiny from birth, the pivot of her existence, her marriage.’

40% of rape charges were filed by parents of girls who had eloped consensually with a boy

7 things that can make ‘Rape sometimes right’.

Forced intercourse in marriage not rape: Delhi court

“See – UNICEF has figured it out. It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out.”

Would this crime have been reported if he had mercilessly raped her but not sodomised her?

A comment- ‘Reverse the gender, and it is marital rape.’

Bikini vs Burka: The Debauchery of Women

‘After shocking the nation with her involvement in a high profile prostitution scandal…’

A clean chit.

… ‘shocking the nation’ and ‘involvement in a high profile prostitution scandal’…

I was under the impression that Shweta Basu Prasad did not ‘shock the nation’, instead there was an outrage in support of, or atleast in sympathy for the young actor – mainly, I think, because none of the powerful businessmen involved were named, but the young actor was. What do you think?

Earlier the media had reported:

Noted actor Shweta Basu Prasad was arrested in Hyderabad on Sunday for being involved in a high-profile prostitution racket.

And now, a clean chit.

Shweta Basu Prasad gets a clean chit in prostitution scandal case

After shocking the nation with her involvement in a high profile prostitution scandal, the Makdee actress Shweta Basu Prasad was sent into a remand home for few months. The actress who recently got out of the remand home can breathe a sigh of relief as Hyderabad sessions court has given a clean chit to her.

Shweta Basu Prasad had mentioned earlier that she had made peace with past and the prostitution case doesn’t affect her anymore.

 

Related Posts:

Several well-known businessmen arrested in Hyderabad on Sunday for being involved in a high profile prostitution racket.

‘The woman said she was inebriated when a co-worker took her to a room and raped her.’

Of course it was unsafe to ask for lift, but what exactly were their options?

Gurgaon pub attendant gang rape victim: Went willingly? Refused medical test?

“Girls need to be little bit aware of the consequences. Men – will enjoy …”

Here’s a positive news. An Indian American family is taking action against a man allegedly attempting to black mail their daughter by threatening to share her nude photos online.

Daughter of Indian-American billionaire allegedly blackmailed over nude pictures TOI link shared by Rachna (who blogs at Naari, here). I would have changed the heading to ‘Billionaire takes stern action against man allegedly attempting to blackmail his daughter.’

Not everybody saw this as positive. For some it was not about a criminal being punished, but about an unmarried girl forgetting that her body belonged to her future husband. Disagree?

So a young woman, during a relationship, “voluntarily took nude photos and video,” which she shared with the man she was in relationship with.

Imagine another young woman who shared similar photos with a man she was married to.

When they break up the men decide to black mail the two women by threatening to share the pictures on the internet.

Do you think the second woman would receive more support? Why? Doesn’t that also automatically make it less likely for a married man to threaten his wife with sharing her nude photos?

This is how Patriarchy reinforces itself – by this deeply entrenched system of rewards, concessions, threats and punishments.

In India gang rapists record themselves committing a crime and threaten to ‘expose’ the proof that could lead to their conviction (Punishable with life imprisonment/capital punishment) Those who should be taking immediate action to arrest the criminals, watch rape videos (in the Assembly!) and ask women to watch how much skin they are showing. [Three BJP Ministers, including the Women and Child Welfare Minister caught watching rape videos in assembly.]

For some this comes as an opportunity to reinforce misogyny. 

Girls need to be little bit aware of the consequences. Men, no matter where they are from – will enjoy the company, moment and then also try to extract money from the wealthy… having said that this man need to be punished so no other man try to fool the ladies…

One sane voice:

“its hard for judgemental people to understand but this is a LAW and ORDER issue not a moral one, it is not hard to see from the comments why so many atrocities happen against women in India.”

Related posts:

“I blamed myself for putting myself in that situation, for being so vulnerable and so incredibly stupid to believe any of his bullshit.”

The Guwahati mob molestation video and the Gurgaon mob molestation video.

“So why do we wear clothes again??

Guwahati mob molests girl, video goes viral online.

Dev D: Practical Paro Artless Chandramukhi

Slut Walk. And how women’s bodies are different, so they need to be covered for their own safety.

“why not marry them first and then have sex ? What prevents you from doing it ? Deep within YOU WANT JUST SEX and nothing more”

Romanticizing innocence, chastity and related taboos for women.

What is this big problem with Bra Strap Showing?

Here’s why I think the society should not obsess over a woman’s virginity.

Contrast what C C Patil said about crimes against women, with what the man we met in Mewat said :

Feeling safe, learning and unlearning nothing in Mewat