Rape victim has attendance problem hence resorting to drama to gain sympathy.

It’s the same story each time.

The Kolkata police refused to believe that rape was possible inside a car [Link]. The Gurgaon pub attendant was reported to have walked willingly to the rapists’ car [Link] Noida rape vicitm was accused of drinking Vodka [Link] And now Bangalore rape victim is being accused of resorting to drama to gain sympathy.

Why doesn’t the police investigate instead of judging?

Do you think rape victims can’t sense this? Do you think they find this attitude of the police reassuring?

But once the mikes are switched off and pens sheathed, the officers and administrators launch into a barrage of innuendos and insinuations against the victim.

Here’s what The Times of India gleaned from top officers and administrators:

“She was rusticated last year by her university due to shortage of attendance. This year, too, she has an attendance problem. She is resorting to this drama to gain the varsity authorities’ sympathy,” the source added.

However, TOI’s inquiries with NLSIU sources revealed that the girl has not had any attendance problems till date. [Link]

Some more allegations:

1. The girl and her male companion “became friend … through a social networking site two weeks ago. They had met on Saturday and had gone out for the first time” [Link]

If they suspect the male companion was responsible, are they investigating that angle?

2. Her clothes were in tatters, but no physical injuries were evident on her…. [Link]

Medical report?

3. …the forested area has been closed for vehicles at night. They say that the duo might have sneaked in. [Link]

Now, is that relevant?

4. …the girl bore no injury or struggle marks during the medical examination. [Link]

(But they are still waiting for the medical report)

And finally if you can’t prove there was no rape, try to prove the victim was responsible for the assault.

 Related Posts:

There are some inconsistencies in what this rape victim is alleging.

“The rape victim had gone there willingly. She was not lured into it. They drank vodka.”

“Girls should be married at 16, so that they don’t need to go elsewhere for their sexual needs. This way rapes will not occur.”

Gurgaon pub attendant gang rape victim: Went willingly? Refused medical test?

“Ninety percent rape victims go willingly, but later they meet criminal minded people…”

Dharmvir Goyat’s exact words:

“Is mamle mein mujhe koi sankoch naheen hai ye kahne se ki nabbe pratishat ladkiyan jaati sahmati se hain, aur aage apraadhi vyakti mil jate hain jo hawas ka shikaar hote hain. Ladki ko ye pata naheen hota ki aage panch… saat… dus … So Nabbe pratishat ladkiyan jaati sahmati se hain, aur aage apraadhi vyakti mil jate hain. Main saaf kahna chahta hoon.” [Link]

Watch him:


“In this matter I have no hesitation is saying this that Ninety percent girls go willingly/with consent, but later they meet criminal minded people who are victims of lust. Girl does not know that further there are five, seven, ten… So,  Ninety percent girls go willingly/with consent, but later they meet criminal minded people. I want to state  this clearly.”

So what does he mean?

Is he saying the rape victims go willingly to be raped? He is not.

Does he mean girls in Haryana go willingly to have consensual sex (and that is when men in Haryana rape them)?

And who told him that? Did the rape victims tell him this? Or do Rapists make such claims?

Let’s say the rapists told him that (and he believed these rapists). What motivation could the rapists have to try to claim that the victim came willingly? What does ‘rape-victim-went-willingly’ imply? That the victim intended to have sex/meet a man? Would it help an Indian rapist if the victim is shown to be sexually active?

How difficult it is for a violent, brutal, rape-MMS making rapist with a criminal record  to convince random people, political leaders, NCR cops, Khaps and some TOI commenters, that the rape victim was responsible for the rape?

Does it help the court case? It does. Amongst other things, it could frighten and shame the victim into taking back her case and/or committing suicide. It could shame her family into moving to another place – case closed. It could make many witnesses turn hostile.

So rapists and their lawyers have a lot to gain from trying to show that the rape-victim-went-willingly.

But why do some other people appear keen to have this taken as the truth? How do they benefit from perpetuating such misogyny and rape-myths?

It’s possible that some people see gang-rapes as an appropriate punishment for women who are accused of (or suspected of) wanting to have sex with a man they are not married to?

Stoning is not legal in India, but one can always overlook other kinds of punishments for women who seem to want to choose their own partners. Recently one brother in Delhi killed his sister,

NEW DELHI: A teenager allegedly stabbed his younger sister to death early this morning as he disapproved of her alleged relationship with a boy, police said. [Link]

This brother and others like him would be glad to use Dharmvir Goyat’s statement to warn the girls in their family against daring to think of interacting with men, dating, having relationships with men or even dreaming of falling in love and choosing their own partners.

It seems directly or indirectly rapes are used to control women’s choices and freedoms, whether as excuses to marry minor girls to men they have no way to choose or reject, or by ensuring these girls are not allowed to try choose their own partners.

Related Posts:

19 Rape Facts that Khaps, Cops and Chautala should know.

Gurgaon pub attendant gang rape victim: Went willingly? Refused medical test?

“Girls should be married at 16, so that they don’t need to go elsewhere for their sexual needs. This way rapes will not occur.”

13 things Indian Misogynists believe about men’s mothers and sisters.

Is rape the worst thing that can happen to an Indian woman?

Or is death worse than rape?

Until recently, many Indians thought a rape victim’s life was ruined (barbad ho gayee) and the only way out was to pressurize her to kill herself, or for her family members to murder her.

If the victim and her family dared to hope  to move on (without any hopes of the rapists being punished, because traditionally we punished rape victims not rapists) they had to make sure nobody learnt about the crime. (Obviously, this was extremely convenient  for sexual criminals)

The idea of punishing a rapist is a modern idea. Many Indians (specially rapists and misogynists) are still not able to understand/digest this.

But now that rape is being seen as a crime against a woman and not as a crime against Patriarchy (i.e. not as stealing of her honor or virginity) – would you still say that a rape is the worst thing that could happen to a woman?

Is it possible for an Indian rape victim (and the society) to see rape as a horrible, traumatic, brutal crime but not as something for the victim to be ashamed of, as an end of happiness, honor, life, opportunities and dignity for the victim?

As of now, it seems, we see it as worse than death for the victim, but still make excuses for the rapists.

Edited to ask: Would you say loss of sight or limb is worse than a rape?

Related Posts:

Here’s why I think the society should not obsess over a woman’s virginity.

How Victim Blaming confuses rapists, police and the society about when exactly does non-consensual-sex becomes a crime.

The recent investigations by Tehelka.com have shown that not just the rapists, but even the police and the society don’t seem to be aware  that forced sex is rape (and a crime).

Many also seem to believe that rape is a natural result of a man finding a woman attractive (‘getting provoked’); most of the police (and probably many rapists) don’t seem to know that a woman who has had sex with more than one man still has the legal right to say no to other men.

They also seem to be unaware that women can consume alcohol (or talk, laugh, dance etc) in company of men without requiring to have sex with any or all of them.

Where is so much confusion and ignorance about rape coming from?
I think victim-blaming is the culprit.

Victim blaming can confuse rapists, police and the society about when exactly does forced-sex become a crime. [Victim blaming also discourages the victims (and their families) from reporting rapes.]

Police confirmed that rapists often don’t see rapes as crimes, and don’t expect the victims to report them. [link]

(Legally, non-consensual sex is always a crime (except marital rape?), even with a sex worker, but the Police seems to be quite unaware of, or unconvinced about this.)

But it’s not just the police and the rapists’ lawyers who blame the victims.  They do it of course, because it silences and shames the victims and helps them prove their innocence.
But what makes the rest of us blame the victims?
I think it’s because victim blaming has created a culture where everybody sees rape by men as an excusable activity and consensual sex (by women) as a crime.
Since sex between heterosexual adults requires both men and women, one with tacit permission to use force, and one who can be condemned for consent – how can there be clarity until force is seen clearly as wrong and consent is accepted as a choice?

“The rape victim had gone there willingly. She was not lured into it. They drank vodka.”

The Kolkotta police had suspected a car rape victim’s story and blamed her for going to a night club (read more here). Now Noida police puts the blame on a class X student raped by five men in their twenties, in a car that belonged to one of them.

And worse,

“In violation of a Supreme Court order regarding disclosure of identity of rape victims, the press release issued by the Noida police gives details of a 17 year old victim including her name and address.” [Read more.]
Although the press release quoted the victim saying she was lured into it, and forced to drink, the Noida police claims,

“She had gone there willingly… She was not lured into it… They drank vodka,” said Ananth Dev Tiwari, Superintendent of Police, Noida.

There are court directions which say the victims’ statement should be taken at face value till the trial proves otherwise. [ NDTV article here.]

Why did a police officer break the law?

I wonder if he was hoping that if she could be proven suspected to have gone willingly, and drinking vodka, she would not get as much sympathy. And perhaps then Noida police would not be held responsible for not creating an environment that discourages sexual assaults? Or maybe he genuinely believed that the teenager deserved to be raped by five men because she knew one of them and went to his birthday party (where others were already present)?

Is it difficult to believe when the family says they did not report an earlier rape by the main accused an year ago, after which, they allege, he threatened the minor with an MMS clip?

Why does it look like the police has no idea that they are paid, trained and employed for protecting the victims and for controlling crimes and that can’t be achieved if the victims are afraid to report crimes?

There are some inconsistencies in what this rape victim is alleging.

According to one news channel the police thinks there are some inconsistencies in what this rape victim is alleging, the channel shared only the point of view of the police. Maybe the victim is lying, maybe no rape happened, maybe she is in shock, but isn’t the police supposed to follow basic investigations to confirm that?

The report below by TOI gives the victim’s point of view. There is less victim blaming (added: less than otherwise) in the comments that follow because the report is not sympathetic to the rapists.

But wait.


Only the police is being blamed, not the rapists. One commentator (VS, Bangalore) directly defends the rapists.

“In a country like India, since prostitution is not legal, single men may commit such crimes under the influence of alcohol. While women should be given protection, men should be given a channel to vent their sexual frustration. Sex is a biological need for a man. Why should a man marry to satisfy his physical need. He should have other legal options for safe sex. I think this would prevent such crimes in India to a very large extent.”

This is called Rape Culture. Understand the term Rape Culture better here… the truth in it will give you goose bumps. (Link shared by Shail)

i. In Rape Culture, we understand that if the rapist was living alone, away from his native place, he could lose control over himself.

ii.The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.


And now the report I liked. [Link shared by Anil Singhal]

A woman in Kolkata was raped in a car.


1. The victim arrived at Park Street police station on the morning of February 8. It had taken her two days to muster courage to file a complaint. Officers heard the incident from her and asked her to give a written complaint. A Supreme Court directive says that police have to file an FIR as soon as a woman complains of sexual assault. But in this case, the police lodged only a general diary and registered a case only the next day.

2. “The officer in charge asked …  how a woman could be raped inside a moving car… wanted me to explain the posture in which the accused had raped me,” alleged the victim. … (they) taunted her for going to a nightclub and even tried to malign her character. (IHM: They should have started the investigations, medical tests etc instead.)

3. … only a lady officer can examine a rape victim in the presence of her guardians and at a place that is comfortable to her. But the car-rape victim was accompanied by a male officer for forensic tests…

4. … police did not apply for forensic tests till February 10. The test was carried out only on February 14.

5. Police officers explain the delay by saying that the victim’s complaint “was not compact” and “not to the point” so they asked her to write again and registered the case the next day. But officers in the department believe it is a lame excuse. There was enough scope to start a case immediately. They could have collected the “precise complaint” the next day. Besides, it is too much to expect a traumatised rape victim to write a concise complaint.

6. This delay could prove very costly because the night club where the gang allegedly approached the woman preserves CCTV footage for only four days. The incident happened on February 6 and even on February 10, the police had time to get the tape but they did not bother. They did not even bother to go through the CCTV footage of the hotel or the intersection where she was dropped.

7. Violating a basic norm of rape investigation, police did not ask the victim for the clothes she wore during the incident. Even till Wednesday evening, they had not made any such attempt. “Seizure of garments for forensic examination is mandatory,” said advocate Gautam Ghosh.

8. …since the initial medical test… revealed abrasions in her mouth, and on the temple and knees, an immediate forensic test could have provided more evidence. “Police ended up damaging the evidence, which can affect the merit of the case,” said an expert.

9. Sen admitted that police could have done more but argued that since the complainant had come to police two days late, there was a chance that she had already washed the cloth. (IHM:Not clear if she had washed the clothes or there was only a chance that she had.)

10. The woman claimed that she had provided police with photographs of the accused collected from a social networking site, but the police did nothing. The first suspects were picked up a week after the incident. On Wednesday evening, police tracked a suspect named Gidwani only to find that he was in Canada since January. [Read the article here.]

Another link – Woman raped in car at gunpoint in Kolkata, cops jeer.

And the answer.

In the last post I asked a question. Please click here to find out how right or not so right your answers were.

Related posts:

Would women be in some ways empowered if they saw no shame in what they could risk being called?

When they don’t even understand crime, how are they ever going to begin controlling it?

What kind of men are likely to sexually assault women?

Statistics have shown that most rapes/sexual assaults happen to women who are vulnerable, not women who are attractively (‘provocatively’) dressed.

More than 90% rapes are preplanned and the perpetrator is someone known to the victim, an older relative, a teacher, a neighbour, an employee, a landlord etc.

The victim is generally someone who the rapist does not expect to complain or fight back. An easy target. Someone vulnerable or weak.

Amongst rapes by strangers, a meru cab driver who raped a girl working in a bar in Gurgaon; a gang of village men from a village near Noida; rapists planning to make an MMS in a car looking for some victim on a lonely road; upper caste men raping dalit women; custodial rapes; the mob in this video in Gurgaon, these are criminals who knew they were unlikely to be reported, arrested or punished.

Their actions were not provoked after seeing an attractive woman.

In fact most rapists do not expect the victim to complain.

Also many rapists do not see rape as a serious crime, because they have always seen the victim being blamed for being raped (Honor, wrong clothing, being with wrong people, wrong time etc).

The only way to change this is,

1. Those who are charged with citizen’s safety make clear statements that convey that the crime would not be excused or tolerated.

2. Victims be assured that they can report safely. (the police is feared the most).

3. If women start reporting,

4. And if rapes start being taken seriously,

5. If we see more convictions,

– then there would be fewer crimes against women and children. No matter how they were dressed.

But, all the restrictions on women’s life styles and clothing have only made it difficult for them to report rapes, and thus encouraged the rapists.

So, do normal, mentally sound men get provoked into raping women, children or babies if they are provoked by the way the way they were dressed?

And, can men who come from backgrounds where women are respected also get provoked into raping? Does rape begin in a man’s mind and in his attitude towards women? (thanks for this sentence Sangeeta.)

What kind of men are likely to molest or rape women and children?

Related posts:

The night I was not an easy prey.

Bare Statistics of Crimes Against Women in Andhra Pradesh and Delhi : A few questions to the Police Chiefs

When they don’t even understand crime, how are they ever going to begin controlling it?

A visibly shaken Shiney Ahuja gets seven years for raping his maid despite her ‘admitting’ the charges were false.

News reporting continues to be sympathetic to the rapist.

As the judges read out the sentence, a visibly shaken Shiney Ahuja broke down in the court.

“…Ahuja’s maid had told the court that the actor never raped her. She admitted slapping false charged on the actor…

The maid ‘admitted‘? What does ‘admitted ‘ mean?
Confess, own up, come clean, acknowledge, disclose, divulge. Is that what she did?
“The court, however, decided that she had turned a hostile witness.”

No mention in this report of why the court decided this.

The same tone continues in the following report.where the judge ‘felt’ the victim had given false evidence? No mention of abrasions on his forearm or the forensic reports that made the judge ‘feel’ this way?
The ‘judge found/decided/came to the conclusion” would have been more accurate?

The court has also not accepted the maid’s evidence in the court that she was not raped as the judge felt that she had given false evidence.
Clad in pink shirt and jeans, 38 year old Shiney Ahuja was accompanied by his wife Anupam in the court when the judgment was delivered.
According to the policemen there were tears in his eyes when the judge pronounced the order…

His wife accompanied him. Would she do that if he was a rapist? Could he be an innocent family man with ‘tears in his eyes’?

While convicting the accused, Judge P M Chouhan relied mainly upon the FIR in the case, Shiney’s lawyer Srikant Shivade told reporters who were not allowed in the court as the trial was in-camera.

Did the judge mainly rely upon the FIR?

The Hindustan Times explained it wasn’t just the FIR or how the judge ‘felt’ that led to the conviction,

…the domestic help had turned hostile. But the medical report and DNA finger printing report suggested otherwise.
Both reports suggested an intercourse between the domestic help and Ahuja.
‘The court had primarily taken into consideration the DNA finger printing and medical reports which tested positive,’ said public prosecuter Kashinath Digge

Indian Express report was also unbiased,

“The accused’s conduct, the medical report which supported the prosecution’s claim that the girl suffered a hymen tear, and the DNA evidence were strongly relied upon. The accused is found guilty under Section 376 (rape) of the Indian Penal Code

The victim’s complaint was supported by the medical evidence collected from the spot. “There were bloodstains in Ahuja’s room. The quilt and curtains showed traces of semen. Ahuja’s hands had abrasions,” said Public Prosecutor K V Dighe.

Shouldn’t this have been mentioned instead of describing his tearful eyes?

Note: Writing this post from an IPhone I am not used to, will link the reports and spell check as soon as possible. also this post is a continuation of the discussion in the last post.

The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.

Sometimes one crime and how it is reported tells so much about a society.

‘Five drunken young men from a nearby farming village accosted a couple…, beating the young man and gang-raping the woman. It was the latest in a series of brutal sexual assaults and gang rapes of women in India’s booming capital and its sprawling suburbs.’ (Thanks for the link RenKiss)

“The attackers often do not see their actions as crimes, the police said, and do not expect the women they attack to report them. “They have no doubt that they will get away with it,” said H. G. S. Dhaliwal, a deputy police commissioner in New Delhi who has investigated several such cases.”

We shall soon see where the attackers get so much confidence from.

Let’s believe the attackers really don’t see a gang rape as a crime, or at least not a serious crime.

How do they get this idea? This news report illustrates how. It’s a perfect example of how sexual crimes must NOT be reported.

One example,

“In each case there has been an explosive clash between the rapidly modernizing city and the embattled, conservative village culture upon which the capital increasingly encroaches.”

Why this effort to explain the rapists’ point of view?

And the facts are inaccurate. These rapes are a result of clashes of culture?
So rapists (some with previous criminal backgrounds) don’t rape women from their villages? (Click if you think they don’t.)

Going by the above logic a 6 month old or a 2 year old would be safe in these ‘sleepy villages’ with narrow lanes ‘redolent of cow dung’, since these babies are not ‘enjoying’ any unheard of freedoms, or romancing forbidden lovers?

What about when village girls looking for jobs in Delhi get raped by WagonR owners?

“India’s economy is expected to grow 9 percent this year, and its extended boom has brought sweeping social change. The number of women in the workforce has roughly doubled in the past 15 years.”

Can’t really blame the rapists, can we? How are they expected to adjust to ‘sweeping social changes’ and women doubling in workforce?

So women who stay inside their homes and whose lives signify no social changes are safer?

More facts.

A 60 year old, raped by her husband’s employer in her house (this rapist was earlier acquitted in a rape case), another 77 year old raped by a rikshaw puller, an 8 year old in her house, a 12 year old by her driver, 17 year old daughter of a Grade IV employee in Lady Hardinge Hospital, a 9 year old in Sarojini Nagar in her house, a 3 year old

[All examples are from Delhi]

The victims are almost invariably young, educated working women who are enjoying freedom unknown even a decade ago. The accused are almost always young high school dropouts from surrounding villages, where women who work outside the home are often seen as lacking in virtue and therefore deserving of harassment and even rape.”

Examples above show this is not true.


Who gets raped?

Everyone. According to some statistics, only one in 69 rape cases in India are even reported. Only 20 % of those reported result in convictions for the rape accused.

Rapes happen across the social strata in India. In the Indian villages, it is the poor villager’s wife or sister or daughter who gets raped by another poor rowdy villager, and everyone from the local thanedar to the landlord. These rapes, unless the news becomes public due to unavoidable reasons, are never reported. It is reported in the newspapers or reaches the police only when a rape becomes part of a larger caste battle, family feud or political game. [Click to read and save the entire, very well written  article.]

“Seema Chowdhury, 20, the sister of one of the accused men, graduated from high school. But when she tried to enroll in college to become a teacher, her brothers refused to allow it. Young women who wander too far face many dangers, they argued.

“I wanted to do something in my life,” she said. “But they thought it was not a good idea.”

It’s so nice to see they are family men and want to see their sisters safe from men like themselves. Maybe such nice men can’t really be blamed for doing something they don’t see as a crime?

In comparison, the young woman who was raped here had unimaginable freedom. She had a job as an accountant at a garment factory and her own cellphone and e-mail account. Using those, she carried on a secret romance with a young man she met online despite the fact that her parents had arranged for her to be married to someone else, according to the police.”

Rape justification continues, so does victim blaming. The girl was asking for it by being in the wrong place, in wrong company, at a wrong time and doing the wrong thing – basically breaking all the rules these nice rapists lay down for their own nice and hence safe sister. Also note, the notorious cell phone and the internet being used to carry on a  ‘romance’ when her nice parents have arranged a nice match for her elsewhere. Maybe she asked for it?

If she was a Swiss Diplomat, working with full permission of her parents, not meeting her secret lover, she would have been safer?

When they picked up Tony …he was still drunk, Mr. Singh said.

“He was so shameless he narrated the whole thing without any sense of remorse,” he said. Tony later denied that he had raped the woman, according to the police report.

Tony had apparently assumed that the rape victim would not come forward because the shame would be too great.

Why don’t the victims feel more angry than ashamed?

This newly-wed’s rapists were also given a subtle benefit of rape justification’ because she probably opened the door and offered a glass of juice to her rapist and murderer. Did she know the rapist? That might justify the rape?

It has become a strategy to talk about a victim’s ‘shame’ instead of pointing out the rate of conviction, as reason for women not reporting.

If a victim was assured support instead of blame, do you think she would not have complained?

“on Feb. 5 a young man came into police station to report that his cellphone and laptop had been stolen. When the young man claimed they had been snatched near some isolated farmland at the edge of the city, Mr. Singh became suspicious: it was an unlikely place for a robbery.

He pressed for details, and eventually the young man admitted taking his girlfriend to the secluded area so they could be alone, and that five men had beaten him and raped her.”

Why didn’t the man want to say anything about the rape? He too had little faith in the police, and, he knew a couple being alone in a secluded spot would be seen as a bigger crime than a gang rape.

“I realized from the beginning that the girl would not help us,” the police said.

“The police will not be able to restore my honor.”

Is it really about honor?

Why don’t women report rapes to the police?

We all have heard about shame and honor etc. But there’s more.

Police. Police is the reason.

Have you ever taken a good look at the average Indian policeman? have you ever been to a police station?

A police station is an intimidating place. The cultural sophistication of the average policeman in India is pretty much that of the average roadside thug. Your average policeman hardly knows how to talk politely, is barely educated, is uncouth, brash and rude.

Is this the paragon of sensitivity a victim of rape will run to?

Add to this the rising number of custodial rapes which every one knows about. People will turn to a policeman only when they are desperate. Educated, rich people are abused by the police in India routinely and they have to call upon their networks and call upon little netas to get the policemen to treat them with some consideration.

Expect a policeman to humiliate a rape victim, turn her back, discourage her, be foul-mouthed or maybe rape her in turn.” [Click to read the article]


Such reporting tells a rapist that when his mother claims, “If these girls roam around openly like this, then the boys will make mistakes.” someone looking to justify rape will promptly quote her with some satisfaction.

What else do we say that gives rapists so much confidence?

Related posts:

The rapists are listening gratefully.

If he were a a woman he would have filed a case against a man everyday.


Another example of Victim Blaming by New York Times:
Victim-blaming in the New York Times’ Cleveland gang rape article.

(Thank You Ankita Prasad)