‘Rape is theft of the victim’s potential to fulfil her destiny from birth, the pivot of her existence, her marriage.’

Why is rape considered the most hated of crimes?

Patriarchal concepts of honor, blame, shame and silence have trivialised the physical trauma that the victim goes through. The mental trauma is trivialised as loss of honor. 

Survivors of most other kinds of physical trauma (disease, burns, acid attacks, amputation etc) are not silenced or shamed. They are not told that they have to ‘live with the scars’ or that their lives are ‘shattered’. In contrast, these survivors are seen as inspiration for others. 

Since rape is seen as an attack on honor – the physical injuries are not even taken into consideration. The ideas of loss of virginity and loss of marriage opportunity become the focus of the crime.

Everything about the crime, the way it is reported, tolerated, condemned or blamed on the victims results from this patriarchal focus on shame, blame and entitlement. And the need for a woman to get married. 

Ratan Kongara shared this.

I am a regular on your blog, and wanted to share the following link with you:

Dhaula Kuan gang-rape: Court turns down request for leniency to convicts

We should question the assumption that her worth to society is determined by her ability to get married. That being attacked means she will be unable to function as a member of society.

Dogma says the crime was not the forced attack on her physical being but rather at her worth to society. After the crime she loses her value as a person. She can’t have dreams, hopes or ambition.  The crime is theft of the potential to fulfil her destiny from birth, the pivot of her existence, her marriage. The crime isn’t a a physical attack against her. This kind of thinking needs to be challenged. 

“the incident shatters her life and dreams in a violent manner. Her marriage prospects diminish to a large extent and she finds it unable to engage in routine job…”


– Ratan Kongara

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What makes Men Rape?