For NCP leader Asha Mirje.

Why don’t we see urgent steps being taken to help those who desperately need help understanding What Makes Men Rape?

When Asha Mirje asked ‘Is it necessary to go out after 6pm?’ [link shared by Sarika], she probably believed she was empowering women by sharing her wisdom. It’s quite possible that she is genuinely convinced that rapes would stop if women changed the way they live. She has probably never heard that India leads in sexual violence, worst on gender equality. It’s possible that she (like many, many others) thinks there is nothing to understand – and she is absolutely convinced that rapes are caused by women who are found  attractive by rapists who are not able to prevent themselves from raping, mutilating, setting on fire and killing the women and children they find sexually attractive.

But then why is she a member of Maharashtra Women’s Commission (MWC)?

Do you think this might help her?

Shared by Pallavi on facebook

More links for Asha Mirje:

Study finds 98% of India rape victims knew their attacker.

Yet another rape that was not about lust but about aggression, revenge and putting the victim in her place.

This is what rapists do when there is no fear of punishment.

The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.

How Victim Blaming confuses rapists, police and the society about when exactly does non-consensual-sex becomes a crime.

Why should all acts of sexual harassment be taken seriously, even when there is no grievous physical injury?

How Indian women feel when they are being subjected to sexual crimes. How Patriarchy sees sexual crimes.

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What makes Men Rape?

Please read.

Two links that finally ask the right questions and attempt to answer them rationally.

What makes Men Rape?

(link shared by Anil Singhal)

The aim of this rapist is to humiliate, debase and hurt their victim; they express their contempt for their victim through physical violence and profane language. For these rapists, sex is a weapon to defile and degrade the victim, rape constitutes the ultimate expression of their anger. This rapist considers rape the ultimate offense they can commit against the victim. Anger rape is characterized by physical brutality, much more physical force is used during the assault than would be necessary if the intent were simply to overpower the victim and achieve penetration. This type of offender attacks their victim by grabbing, striking and knocking the victim to the ground, beating them, tearing their clothes, and raping them. The experience for the offender is one that is of conscious anger and rage

Because this is only a fantasy, the rapist does not feel reassured for long by either their own performance or the victim’s response. The rapist feels that they must find another victim, convinced that this victim will be “the right one”. Hence, their offenses may become repetitive and compulsive. They may commit a series of rapes over a short period of time.

Some forms of sexual violence, such as gang rape, are predominantly committed by young men. Sexual aggression is often a defining characteristic of manhood in the group and is significantly related to the wish to be held in high esteem. Sexually aggressive behaviour among young men has been linked with gang membership and having delinquent peers. Research also suggests that men with sexually aggressive peers are also much more likely to report coercive or enforced intercourse outside the gang context than men lacking sexually aggressive peers. Gang rape is often viewed by the men involved, and sometimes by others too, as legitimate, in that it is seen to discourage or punish perceived immoral behaviour among women, such as wearing short skirts or frequenting bars. For this reason, it may not be equated by the perpetrators with the idea of a crime. In several areas in Papua New Guinea, women can be punished by public gang rape, often sanctioned by elders.

they have a sexual association with anger and power so that aggression and the infliction of pain itself is eroticized. For this rapist, sexual excitement is associated with the inflicting of pain upon their victim. The offender finds the intentional maltreatment of their victim intensely gratifying and takes pleasure in the victim’s torment, pain, anguish, distress, helplessness, and suffering; he/she finds the victim’s struggling with him/her to be an erotic experience. Sadistic rape usually involves extensive, prolonged torture and restraint. Sometimes it can take on ritualistic or other bizarre qualities. The rapist may use some type of instrument or foreign object to penetrate his/her victim. Sexual areas of the victim’s body become a specific focus of injury or abuse.

2.

I need to understand!

– Rapes happen more in systems that allow it to go unpunished (source)

– Rapists are experts at rationalizing their behaviour (source); ‘she asked for it, was wearing ……’ being prime examples of this rationalizing.  In India, I think we have some rapists and more than 90% of others (male and female!) rationalizing!

– There are some significant factors that have been identified as risk factors among perpetrators of sexual violence:  adverse childhood exposures (major ones being child sexual abuse and having witnessed rape in their parents’ relationship), mental health (psychopathic thought), peer pressure and delinquency in adolescence, gender ideas (inequalities in perception of gender, patriarchal systems, entitlement – ‘men can’t help themselves’, ‘boys will be boys’!), and substance abuse/firearms. (Source:http://www.svri.org/RapePerpetration.pdf)

– Personality characters can be: lack of empathy, macho/aggressive masculinity, emotionally constricted, impulsive and having underlying anger against women

Related Posts:

Why was this radio cabbie, a rapist, not afraid of being arrested?

What kind of men are likely to sexually assault women?

Of course it was unsafe to ask for lift, but what exactly were their options?

19 Rape Facts that Khaps, Cops and Chautala should know.

The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.

How does the Gurgaon administration make it even more difficult for women to find employment, and stay safe on Gurgaon roads?

Have a Good Time in India, Sister – gounderbrownie

“I will not sit back and allow the image of India’s men to be tarnished by an article that does not articulate other sides to India.”

What do you think of the post linked below? Does it anger you? Does the article make you feel ashamed of your country – if yes, why? Does the article make you wish RoseChasm had taken care not to hurt our sentiments? Then, does the skewed gender ratio also make you feel not motivated to do something about it but somehow ‘ashamed’ of your country?

To me, nothing in the post seemed to imply it was meant to shame Indian men (or women) – the article made me think of all the suggestions made by Justice Verma Committee that were not taken seriously.

I could relate to the story. No verifications were needed, most Indian women I know (including myself) have faced most of the harassment RoseChasm described, or risked facing it if we were to do any of the things RoseChasm and her friends did, like travel [link] alone [link], dance in the streets, or shop or walk in public spaces in India without watching for groping hands and eyes, or cameras [link]

Not only does the story below needs no verification, most of us also know what many Indians (men and women) think of women who forget that men can get provoked. We have heard justifications like that Freedom at midnight but doesn’t mean we can roam around freely at midnight.”

Here’s the story by RoseChasm.

India: the Story You Never Wanted to Hear

Do I tell them about our first night in the city of Pune, when we danced in the Ganesha festival, and leave it at that? Or do I go on and tell them how the festival actually stopped when the American women started dancing, so that we looked around to see a circle of men filming our every move?

Do I tell them about bargaining at the bazaar for beautiful saris costing a few dollars a piece, and not mention the men who stood watching us, who would push by us, clawing at our breasts and groins?

When people compliment me on my Indian sandals, do I talk about the man who stalked me for forty-five minutes after I purchased them, until I yelled in his face in a busy crowd?

Do I describe the lovely hotel in Goa when my strongest memory of it was lying hunched in a fetal position, holding a pair of scissors with the door bolted shut, while the staff member of the hotel who had tried to rape my roommate called me over and over, and breathing into the phone? [Click to read more]

And then followed this post from twoseat who travelled with RoseChasm. What do you think?

Same India-Different Story

The problem that this (RoseChasm’s) article has is that it ends up blaming an entire population for the actions of some

To address the attempted rapes on the program, I was also very frightened while on the trip. After hearing about the attacks that happened to girls I knew, I also stayed up at night wondering if someone was going to break into my room. RoseChasm has addressed this, but what RoseChasm doesn’t address is the fact that rape happens in America as well. This focus on what happened to one individual on a study abroad trip to India makes it seem like no woman can enjoy a trip to India and that she would be ultimately safer in America. We must be aware of the rapes that occur worldwide…

I understand RoseChasm’s pain, and I too had a hard time readjusting to life in America after my experience in India. I truly hope for her to be well again, but I will not sit back and allow the image of India’s men to be tarnished by an article that does not articulate other sides to India.

[Click to read more]

Do you think RoseChasm or any other survivor of sexual harassment should be expected to add a disclaimer that they do not think that every other man/his country/race/caste is a rapist?

Should RoseChasm have mentioned that rapes happen in other places too? Does it matter that India is not the only country where the culture indirectly and directly treats men as helpless victims of provocation by women, [which is why only girls were allowed in the audience here]?

Related Posts:

Pubs in Andhra to be officially Reserved For Men?

“A protected generation of women like my grand mother’s did NOT seek equal rights.”

It could have been you or me – Shail

What do dented-painted women and disco-going protesters understand about a rape victim’s loss of honor?

The night I was not an easy prey.

Of course it was unsafe to ask for lift, but what exactly were their options?

Why was this radio cabbie, a rapist, not afraid of being arrested?

How did we make Indian criminals believe that they have 7 khoon maaf if they can claim to be teaching Indian women a lesson in Indian values?

“The same man who rape a girl… respect his mother…so please go ahead and teach them what you want to…”

A response to: Why we think women activists should change their attitude of “wear what you like”

“Such mannequins will excite men and pose a danger to women.”

“Sunitha Krishnan spoke in my kid’s school about violence against women, only girls were allowed in the audience.”

When they don’t even understand crime, how are they ever going to begin controlling it?

The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.” 

Which city in India, do you think is the safest city for women? Do women in that city stay at home after dark?

Whose fault is it anyway? – ReturnToBasics

RoseChasm , gender and race – INDIANFEMINIST101

Yet another rape that was not about lust but about aggression, revenge and putting the victim in her place.

Like 98% rapes in this study : Study finds 98% of India rape victims knew their attacker.

1. This gang rape too was not about lust.

2. This rapist too was known to the victims.

3. And this rape too was preplanned.

So we are not blaming the victims then?

Read on. TOI: Gurgaon gang rape: Accused held, says he settled score

Two women raped in a moving car : Gurgaon

Gurgaon police on Friday nabbed the key accused … The accused has been identified as Dharambir, and it was he who planned the rape to get value for the Rs 10,000 he had paid to the two victims and also raped one of them.

Dharmabir had been trying to get to girls over the past week but when he couldn’t he got a friend to lure them to get into his car and then carried out the rape of the victims.

It also seems the rape survivors did not take lift, no idea why the earlier news reports claimed they took lift. I blogged about it here: Of course it was unsafe to ask for lift, but what exactly were their options?

Since their taxi driver had not reached in time to pick them up, they hired a Toyota Altis car for Rs 300 in front of Vipul Agora Mall building.

So if lust did not provoke the rapists then how do we blame the victims?

Please note, there is no hesitation in believing whatever an alleged rapist says prompted him plan the crime.

Take a look at just some of the TOI comments:

Cynic (India)

29 Jun, 2013 06:33 PM

It very much looks that the girls (?) wanted to cheat the person of the money they had borrowed. These ‘escort girl’ profession cannot be called an honourable one. It is something bordering that of call girls. And who knows for a right some the escorts might accompany to the rooms as well. There will be sob stories of such girls doing such things for want of a better job. But many go for such jobs just for the fun and better remuneration and lavish living…

2. After the reporting of this study I thought the media would focus on the findings, instead, here’s what some comments think can be learnt from such crimes.

  … Now here is lesson for all respectful girls who value their virtue more than the money. Surely girls were wrong in borrowing money which they could not afford to pay, then working in a profession which is highly vulnerable for girls and very likely to be taken advantage of. At the same time the act of r*pe by the accused does not justify their defence nor does it reduce the punishment they deserve. The accused do have right to seek refund of the money they lent in rightful way but have absolutely no right to violate the dignity of women as financial pay back.

3. And here’s what Indian society is ready to accept and not accept.

seems monetary dispute given r@p e twist!! Society’s moral degradation is to blame, no doubt rap e is heinous crime, but has our society and culture matured enough to accept what the gals were doing??

A response to: Why we think women activists should change their attitude of “wear what you like”

The post linked below explains that rapes are caused by men turning into rapists after being sexually aroused by women they find attractive, after which they go and hunt for victims and rape children. And that’s a valid reason for asking women to wear clothes that don’t make them look attractive to men.

Let me make a quick attempt to explain why I disagree. (Will edit and delete the repetitions)

Link shared by Manasa and Janaki D.

Quotes from the original post is in blockquotes.

Why we think women activists should change their attitude of “wear what you like”

Here’s why we think women activists should change their attitude of “wear what you like,” and should ask the young people and media moghuls to tone down.

IHM- Objectifying women means seeing women as legs, lips, skin, womb, uterus, goddesses, witches, honor, shame and ankles, and not as people with feelings and rights.
Feminists/activists have been asking media (and society) not to objectify women for a long time.
Go slow, relax, you aren’t proving anything by dressing provocatively. Okay?
IHM: Actually, women’s clothing not being controlled by random people does prove that the society has started understanding sexual crimes against women and seeing women as people.
But what is Provocative Dressing?
Women have been asked to stop wearing sarees [Link] [Link], salwar kurta [Link], jeans [Link], nightie/maxi , half sleeves blouses [Link] and school uniforms [Link]. In other parts of the world men are said to be at risk of being helplessly provoked into committing sexual assaults at the sight of women’s eye lashes through veils.
What kind of clothing is not provocative?
In Kerala around a 150 years ago women did not wear an upper garment and in the Nagaland, even today women do not wear blouses and men are used to seeing women as people not body parts, this is the only thing that would prevent men from being provoked into committing sexual assaults.
Also consider, are men in regressive societies where women are not respected or valued more prone to ‘losing control’?
Think about it. How much covering up is possible?
Take a look at women in Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan [Rapist said that coming from Afghanistan meant he didn’t understand what ‘consent’ was.]. A Saudi Arabian father raped and tortured his five year old (very disturbing, reader discretion advised), and this is not a rare case.
Which provocatively dressed women did this and other such fathers and cousins see in Saudi Arabia?
What if the man finds his own wife attractive? It’s okay to rape her if she doesn’t consent, or attack some other woman or child? 
Finding a woman attractive does not naturally lead to rapes. Most men are not rapists – this despite the way society encourages men to see sex as an entitlement, and to view rapes as sex.
Men (and women) need to be taught about consent and consequences.
You find these girls so scantily clad on the streets and think whether it’s fashion or a deliberate attempt to provoke.
IHM: What is scantily dressed? Most women are constantly worrying about what they are wearing and trying their best to stay safe but there is little effort to teach men not to rape. The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.
Most sexual assaults are preplanned and the rapists are known to believe they would not face any consequences, and the victim would be silenced with blaming and shaming.
It has been seen that provocation thresholds come down when women’s arms, necks, knees, faces etc become invisible, then even their feet become provocative. If all women decided to cover up completely, then men would not start being provoked by their voices or foot steps? (payal ki chanchan, and kangan ki khan khan etc)  And what about porn? What about babies?
The more women and men interact as equals, the less women are seen as objects, or as ‘v*ginas’, or as ‘different species’ created for men’s use, the less they will be seen as provocations.
Look at it as a fashion moghul’s attempt to degrade the female of the species. No, it’s not just the streets, look anywhere: movies, television, print ads, hoardings, we don’t realise how much raw sexual pull is being exerted by all these mediums on young minds, especially those of underprivileged males living alone in cities.
IHM: It’s a myth that all rapists come from underprivileged background.  In fact power and the knowledge that the crime would be blamed on the victim’s clothing (etc) encourages rapists.
When we ask women to cover up, we are telling young men that they are potential rapists and it’s natural for them to sexually assault someone they find attractive. How do these men treat their wives?
What ‘young minds’ need to be taught is that no matter how much they want to have sex with a woman, they need her consent. The society needs to accept that – No consent, no sex. Sex without consent equals rape. And only Yes means Yes.
Certainty of consequences (imprisonment after a quick trial) would put the idea of being provoked by a woman’s clothing out of most rapists’ minds.

Here’s a rough list of all the titillation

Movies: item numbers: sheila ki jawani, choli ke peeche, whatever
Television ads: Deo ad in which man goes into a room and emerges with kiss marks all over, ad where a girl drags a boy into an inflated house and the house starts wobbling, whatever
Print: Open the supplement (glamour pages) and you find these celebrities all exposing their thighs, lingerie ads are another thing altogether
Hoardings: Well, too many, we lost count
Public functions: too many, we don’t attend public functions, award nights, but do see pictures
So on and so forth…
And, we hold our heads and say “My God” all these? How and when did these happen? It’s as if sex sex sex is everywhere and they are the only ones being deprived.
IHM: They need to be told, and repeatedly via every channel, that sex or ‘women’ is not their right. They are not entitled to ‘v*ginas’ (Link).  Not even from their wives. If they want sex then they need to get Consent. 
A man’s sexuality is such that he is easily aroused.
No, don’t misunderstand. A woman wants a man’s sexuality to be more like her own. But, that’s where you go wrong, honey. A man can’t – deliberately and consciously – control his sexual urge, it’s a natural thing. Even if he controls, it will slip up at times.
IHM: This does not apply to all men, most men say they cannot be provoked into committing sexual crimes. Many men find it offensive  that they are being accused of being potential child abusers and rapists.
Those men (or women) who do find it difficult to control their urges give enough indication of their condition. Like in most other crimes, they start with less dangerous crimes and that is why no sexual crimes or molestations should be excused as ‘eve teasing’ or moral policing.
We can’t expect sexual criminals to get themselves registered as potential rapists to protect women and children (even those in their own family and neighborhood). The government (or NGOs?) should maintain a registry, I think the women these men marry should also have the legal right to know that these men tend to lose control and might rape them or their children or other family members or neighbours.
And slip-ups are where assault and rape happen.
IHM: The solution is not covering up women. Only the certainty of consequences can control ‘slip ups’.
Most (90%+) sexual assaults are preplanned, and in most other cases the rapists are known to rape victims.{will link}
For example, in the 16th December Delhi bus gang rape, the rapists were looking for someone to rape, they were confident that the victim would be silenced with blaming, shaming and naming.
An illiterate man may see naked pictures but then may entice a 4-year old with offer of candy because he doesn’t know the law and never reads the papers. All he knows is he wants to do it, with whoever it is in his power to entice as victim. That’s how child rape happens.
IHM: Mr Balvinder Singh’s experience in Nagaland shows making rules about covering up a woman’s body, is the beginning of objectification of women, to ensure ‘excitement’ does not ‘turn into monotony’. [Please read]
Admit this. We are today a sex-oriented society. Sex used as a tool to bring in money for: products, services, favours, politics, even sex itself, and, now, sports, .
IHM: So long as it is consensual sex between two uncommitted, adult partners, it is their business. Maybe they need to know about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases.
But we are also a society that denies young people to mix and derive whatever pleasures can be received from companionship. So where does the desperate man go?
IHM: It might help to encourage interactions between men and women.
It would also help if the society acknowledges women’s sexuality.
Many men learn about sex from porn and from rape scenes in movies. “There is so little conversation about a woman’s desire for sex that a lot of people simply assume it doesn’t exist.” [Link1 “There is so little conversation about a woman’s desire for sex that a lot of people simply assume it doesn’t exist.”] [Link2 Romanticizing innocence, chastity and related taboos for women.]
To a brothel that’s fifty kilometres away? He is too lazy to do that. He hunts for his victims in the backyard.
 IHM: This is why smaller sexual assaults should never be excused, they are an indication that the man is likely to commit more heinous assault once he realizes that his crimes are being blamed on women’s clothing and lifestyle. 
And even if he goes to the brothel, he must have consent. Sex workers have the right not to be sexually assaulted.
Many of the rapes that happened recently in Bombay were involved minor girls and their neighbours. Read this story of a 13-year old girl raped by neighbours. And this about a 5-year old girl raped by her neighbour.
We rest our case.
IHM: Men who rape, and men who rape children need to be put behind bars, they are dangerous to the society.  These criminals are the ones who eventually are emboldened to commit crimes like the father in the link above.  The only way to control such crimes is to ensure that the potential victims are not silenced with stigma, shame, or blame. And the rapists should be aware of this.

“Sometimes it seems like every single thing I do has the potential to be something ‘provocative’.”

Why do Indian women like to wear western clothes?

“So why do we wear clothes again??”

Weird, funny facts about Misogynists.

Do you think men in regressive societies where women are not respected or valued are more prone to ‘losing control’?

Why do some women see western clothes and being able to flaunt their bodies, without fearing being called sluts, as empowerment?

‘Maayka Chavi Ka’… sequel to ‘Sasural Simar Ka’ 😉

Nita’s post – ‘Sari an immodest garment?’

All teachers except Indian women can do their job well enough in Western clothes?

The way a woman dresses.

No Jeans for an Indian daughter in law.

Not just a pair of jeans.
Many of us view watching porn as a harmless activity…

A tag: But when a woman sees a hot man, nothing happens in her brain?

Rapist groom should have waited a little to satiate his lusty desires without problems which he has got into.

Groom rapes guest on wedding day

“According to the complained filed by the victim, Janak took advantage of the crowd and commotion, slipped into her room and raped her. For next two days, the girl was too terrified and traumatized to share her ordeal with anyone. However, later she told her aunt, who accompanied her to Murar police station to lodge an FIR, sub-inspector Virendra Singh Kushwaha told TOI on Friday.

The victim, Kushwaha said, happens to be a close relative of the bride, who had come specially to attend the wedding from Narsinghpur.” [Link]

Assuming the allegation is correct, do you see something wrong with the rationale in these comments?

1. Rapist groom should have waited a little to satiate his lusty desires without problems which he has got into. …

2. What a maniac , he would have got a v*gina anyhow after marriage ! Now get the dandas of Pandus !!

3. This groom would have waited for couple of nights if he just wanted to enjoy sex which he could have had with his wife. It would have been better if the victim who was raped had gone to the police immediately of at least the following morning.

4. Fool did not wait for few hours to legality enjoy .His urge landed him in jail .Enjoy honeymoon in jail .Wish ten years in jail .

5. ek din wait kar leta dulha toh aaj ye na hota (Roughly translates to: why couldn’t he have waited for one more day)

6. practise ke liye kiya hoga useless fellow (Roughly translates to: He wanted to practice, useless fellow)

I disagree with these three very common, Indian social assumptions:

1. This (and every other) sexual assault is caused by ‘lust’, ‘urge’ or an uncontrolled desire for sex.

2. Marriage is about the groom ‘getting a v*gina’.

3. So it is okay for the groom to sexually assault the bride.

What are the chances that the bride would not stay married to this man and be expected to reform him?

Related Posts:

Denying sex to spouse on first night ground for marriage annulment: Delhi high court

Forcible sex with wife doesn’t amount to marital rape: Court

Where Consensual Sex is Rape, and Forced Sex a legal right.

“Instituting the idea of marital rape raises the specter of a man going for long periods without sex even though he’s married!”

Student gang-raped, killed, ‘Maratha’ etched on body

What kind of culture and values create this kind of hate, misogyny, aggression and lack of fear/ respect for law? Rape is a crime of hate and aggression. An innocent young person is tortured and is dead at twenty, and for many it is not a crime against her, but against the community she comes from. And there are many who still claim that rape is about sex. This is Rape Culture.

Student gang-raped, killed, ‘Maratha’ etched on body

BELGAUM: A 20-year-old college student was gang-raped and murdered at Sulebhavi village, 20 km from here, on Friday. The girl’s half-naked body was found in a farm on the outskirts of the village the next morning.

Police sources said the rapists had smashed her face with a stone and written “Maratha” on her body in Devanagari script before fleeing the place.

Maybe this is an attempt to create conflicts. Or maybe the rapists thought it would be be easier to avoid arrest if the crime is politicised. Identity of the victim has not been revealed, but here’s a TOI comment (edited)

1 ***** community girl = 20 *****other community girl . now wait and watch what we can do you **** community

😦

“Sunitha Krishnan spoke in my kid’s school about violence against women, only girls were allowed in the audience.”

Sharing Dr Arun NM’s facebook status:

“Most of our ordinary school/ College campuses are factories for rapists with the level of sexism and restrictions to male-female interactions.

The other day Sunitha Krishnan, the renowned Social activist/rape survivor spoke in my kid’s school about violence against Women, only girls were allowed in the audience! The School authorities did not have the common sense to know that boys needed that talk much more than girls.

All of us, especially Dads, should have a heart to heart talk with their young sons about violence against women-about street sexual harassment , rape, gender equity etc etc.”

Updated to ask: What do you think were the school authorities thinking? Didn’t they think about how the boys would see this? Didn’t this convey to the boys that the responsibility of preventing rapes lay with those who did not commit rapes, and that the boys had nothing to do with prevention of rapes, and so the boys  did not need to hear or understand crimes generally committed by men on (generally) women and children? 

Mera Tharki India : Can we have more such music please!

“Choti soch ke zaade,

tu kyon kohraam kare?

Tode iske armanon ko,

Aur apni shaan kare….

Oooh Mera tharki India”

Rough translation: Why are you making a racket you narrow/petty minded, spoiled brat? You demolish her aspirations and pretend that makes you look better… my tharki India)

Tharki means somebody who is always ‘Provoked’ and hence ready to sexually  assault anybody.

Better definitions: Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tharki

The video suggest young Indian men, ‘apne bheje ki batti jalaa’ {Roughly translates to ‘wake up and change the way you look at crimes against women’]

Some screen shots.

Screen Shot 2013-02-20 at 11.26.21 AM

Indian Traditions and Culture being taught at home, by Baap (dad).

Screen Shot 2013-02-20 at 11.23.40 AMAnd here’s the video. Do watch and share.

Music like this is impactful. It reaches out to those who can bring change the fastest and they are also those who spend the most time listening to music. I think the man who told a journalist ‘Aap bhi khoobsurat hain’ and others like him who support Khap Panchayat and Moral Police need to hear this song too.

More music against rape-culture?

The ‘Legitimate Rape’ song. Love this!

This has to be the Guwahati molester Amar Jyoti Kalita’s favourite song!

Sharing an email and a song…

And an email for young Indian men who need to watch the video above:

An Open Letter to the Brotherly “Activists” Who Protect My Uterus

Where Consensual Sex is Rape, and Forced Sex a legal right.

Is it women-friendly to call Consensual Sex ‘Rape’ and Forced Sex a legal right? It makes no sense unless we see a woman’s virginity (and bodies and  sexuality) as something that rightfully belongs to her husband, in laws and the society. Who benefits from this kind of mindset?

The government has now brought in an ordinance to introduce stricter penalties for crimes against women Patriarchy, instead of implementing recomendations made by Justice Verma Committee. [Do read more here]

1. Why is it that the Indian law makers believe that Indian men must be given the legal right to rape their wives?

Do they see a sexual assault as loss of honor/virginity/purity or as a criminal assault? If a sexual assault is seen as a criminal assault, then why is it treated different from any other violent assault?

When it is not a legal right to beat, cheat, treat cruelly or burn-alive a spouse – then what makes the government hesitate in acknowledging that forced sex with a spouse (or anybody) should not be seen as a husband’s (or anybody’s) legal right?

2. The same logic makes it legal for Indian men to rape fifteen year old girls if they are married to the minors. [link]

And here’s what makes the patriarchal hypocrisy so obvious:

3. Consensual sex between 16 to 18 years old unmarried teenagers is being seen as rape. Who do you think benefits from criminalising consensual sex between 16- 18 year olds? [link]

This is NOT what the Verma Committee recommended.

Women’s groups reject ordinance on rape laws, urge President not to sign it [Link] Do watch the video here. http://www.ndtv.com/video/player/news/fromndtv/263810

Related Posts:

1. Making Marital Rape a legal offence is the fastest way to make it clear that Rape means forced sex, not lost Virginity or Honor.

2. Who benefits from criminalizing consensual teenage sex?

3. “Here’s why I think the society should not obsess over a woman’s virginity.”

4. ‘Bill seeks to let 12-yr-olds have non-penetrative sex’. Does it really?

5. Pregnant at fifteen? No moral issues. Unmarried and pregnant at fifteen. Degeneration of society.