Teacher arrested for raping six year student.

How did a horrific crime like this go unreported for days? What was the first reaction of the school? Did they attempt to deny any responsibility? There is so much to say… I am too outraged to say anything, but would like to extend full support to the parents and to the little girl. Skating teacher arrested for 6-year old girl’s rape in Bangalore school

BANGALORE: A paedophile skating instructor arrested on Sunday for the rape of a six-year-old girl in an east Bangalore school allegedly tried to abuse at least four other children in the past three years. There are also doubts if he was using photos of his victims for pornography. “We have reliable information that he used to click photographs of children and would also show them obscene videos of children in the Whitefield school (where he worked before 2011),” police commissioner Raghavendra H Auradkar said after announcing the arrest of Mustafa alias Munna, 30.

Rape of 6-year-old girl in Bangalore school sparks outrage.

A six-year-old girl, studying in Class I in Vibgyor High school in Bangalore, was raped, allegedly by a teacher, police said on Thursday. Two school staffers have been detained for the crime. The incident took place on July 2 but was reported to police after a medical examination of girl some days ago.

“I know we are teaching our sons to be respectful to both men and women , but what do I teach and tell my daughter?”

Sharing an email.

Dear IHM

I am a regular reader of your blog , and this is something I wanted to share with you and other readers and see if we are all feeling equally helpless.

So we read and hear everyday , about child sexual abuse, rapes in this country , no country for women and other slogans , candle light campaigns, Justice Verma committee and many more. And honestly , nothing seems to have changed, even after last December’s ghastly incident at Delhi . And this scares me.

I have grown up in a very protective background , a loving family where I and my sister were brought up and well educated , and am now settled in a good job. Most  cases of women abuse according to me were ‘oh this happens to under privileged people only ‘ , ‘nothing can happen in broad day light too many people on the road’ , ‘she knew the rapist !, she should have been careful na ‘  and similar thoughts.  Until sometime last year, when I was blessed with life’s most precious gift to me ,my daughter. And things changed. I started worrying about her safety in this country even before she turned 1 ! My norms and thoughts changed , I panicked. And partly it was this panic, which forced me to think of applying  for Permanent Residency in another country and I did.

Ironic, because for the last 9 years despite having many options to move abroad I had not done so , just to be closer to my parents (absolutely no patriotic reasons!).

Now here is why I feel so helpless , is there really nothing you and I can do ? The law , the judiciary is on one side , but as citizens are we that helpless?  I want us to do something , to lead the way somewhere that can at least help the coming generations to some extent , in learning to respect women. But I do not know how , taking to the streets will help momentarily , beyond that it is the mindset and outlook of most Indian men that needs to change , can we drive that change in any  way , that is the answer I am looking for. I know this blog has a variety of readers , some of them are probably already into something on these lines , but is there a way to translate that into a broader and bigger reform movement . I want to know what the other readers think , their opinion .

I know we are teaching our sons to be respectful to both men and women , but what do I teach and tell my daughter , should I panic every time she steps out of the house , should I put this sense of fear in her this early , and advice her not to trust the opposite gender at all ? And the last thought , are all mothers with daughters equally paranoid , or am I over reacting ?

Thank you for listening to my rant..

Related Posts:

What makes women safe on streets?

Of course it was unsafe to ask for lift, but what exactly were their options?

What’s the best way to fight for your rights and freedoms and to prevent Talibanization of India?

Is stalking of girls and women illegal in India?

Would women be in some ways empowered if they saw no shame in what they could risk being called?

“She was warned several times and was used to unethical practices like friendship with boys.”

I do not like reservation.

“Instituting the idea of marital rape raises the specter of a man going for long periods without sex even though he’s married!”

“I mean what’s the point then, right?”

Quoting Bhagwad Jal Park.

Here’s more,

“The true motive behind the opposition to marital rape might just be the resistance to a woman’s sexual autonomy. Men and even women are brought up with the idea that marriage is a license to have sex whenever the man wants. And that by refusing it, the woman is not doing her “duty”. Implicit in this line of reasoning is the notion that sex is not something that women enjoy. That they only do it for children and after that they don’t want it anymore. Instituting the idea of marital rape raises the specter of a man going for long periods without sex even though he’s married! I mean what’s the point then, right?

I now understand what the government meant when it said they were “protecting marriage”. What they they’re defending is not marriage per se, but the warped idea of marriage that Indians have. For them, marriage is just a license to have socially accepted sex. Allowing women to say “no” takes that away from them. In the future, they might *gasp* actually have to try and be nice to the woman, make her feel wanted, and be romantic. You can’t treat her like dirt and still exercise a god given right to use her body when you want.

And that sense of entitlement is probably the true reason for this resistance.”

Read, Like and Share the post here – The Huge Opposition to Marital Rape Laws is Shocking 

Here’s another quote:

“Criminalizing marital rape is a no brainer. There’s no need for even the phrase “marital rape” to exist. We don’t have “marital murder” after all.”

Related Posts:
Making Marital Rape a legal offence is the fastest way to make it clear that Rape means forced sex, not lost Virginity or Honor.

Forcible sex with wife doesn’t amount to marital rape: Court

For Victims and Survivors of Marital Rapes.

Where Consensual Sex is Rape, and Forced Sex a legal right.

“Girls should be married at 16, so that they don’t need to go elsewhere for their sexual needs. This way rapes will not occur.”

Who will benefit from criminalising sexual assaults within marriages?

Forcible sex with wife doesn’t amount to marital rape: Court

Why is ‘forcible sex’ or ‘lack of consent’ not rape? What purpose does protecting any rapist (married to the rape victim or not) serve?

Forcible sex with wife doesn’t amount to marital rape: Court

“Defence counsel rightly argued that IPC does not recognise any such concept of martial rape. If complainant was a legally-wedded wife of accused, the sexual intercourse with her by accused would not constitute offence of rape even if it was by force or against her wishes,” the court said.

…rest of the alleged offences, including those of causing hurt, criminal intimidation and theft, for which the accused was charge-sheeted, were triable by a magistrate.

And then what does this news report mean?

Priest gets jail for forced sex with wife

AMBALA: A local court on Friday sentenced a temple priest to one-year imprisonment for having forced sex with his wife.

The police had registered a case under sections 376 A (forced intercourse with wife), 323 (causing hurt) and 506 (criminal intimidation) of the IPC against the priest on May 11, 2011, at the Ambala Cantt police station on the complaint of Gurdev Kaur.

In her complaint to the police, 36-year-old Kaur had alleged that her husband Shivpuri, 44, not only had forced sex with her but also threatened to kill her.

Police had registered a case after conducting an inquiry and on the basis of the medical report of the woman, which had confirmed “forced sexual intercourse”.

Around 14 persons, including the doctor, who had examined Kaur, were presented before the court as witnesses during the trial.

Kaur’s advocate Khushi Ram said that in cases of forced intercourse with wife, maximum punishment a court can order is of two years.

“The court sentenced Shivpuri to one year prison as no cruelty or violence was reported by the victim,” added Khushi Ram.

It also seems that hurting, being cruel or threatening to kill a spouse are seen as legal offences, but raping them is not. So it’s possible that rape is not seen as a cruel or hurtful act.

Is rape the worst thing that can happen to an Indian woman?

Or is death worse than rape?

Until recently, many Indians thought a rape victim’s life was ruined (barbad ho gayee) and the only way out was to pressurize her to kill herself, or for her family members to murder her.

If the victim and her family dared to hope  to move on (without any hopes of the rapists being punished, because traditionally we punished rape victims not rapists) they had to make sure nobody learnt about the crime. (Obviously, this was extremely convenient  for sexual criminals)

The idea of punishing a rapist is a modern idea. Many Indians (specially rapists and misogynists) are still not able to understand/digest this.

But now that rape is being seen as a crime against a woman and not as a crime against Patriarchy (i.e. not as stealing of her honor or virginity) – would you still say that a rape is the worst thing that could happen to a woman?

Is it possible for an Indian rape victim (and the society) to see rape as a horrible, traumatic, brutal crime but not as something for the victim to be ashamed of, as an end of happiness, honor, life, opportunities and dignity for the victim?

As of now, it seems, we see it as worse than death for the victim, but still make excuses for the rapists.

Edited to ask: Would you say loss of sight or limb is worse than a rape?

Related Posts:

Here’s why I think the society should not obsess over a woman’s virginity.

Let me ask you a question.

I found this story while looking for something else and I will link it to the original site tomorrow – hoping they understand that the idea is not to plagiarize, but to read some honest answers. 

“There is a married woman and her husband works long nights and doesn’t return until the early morning. When her husband is away, the wife gets dressed up and goes to an island where she has affairs with random men. When these men get too close to her, like if they want to take their affair to the next level, she purposely gets in fights with them. Then she takes the ferry back home before her husband arrives. She’s also really drunk.

So one night she does her usual routine. She goes to the island, has sex with a guy and then acts like a jerk so they can break up. As she is on her way back to the ferry she realizes she doesn’t have enough money to get back home. She needs to get home soon before her husband comes back. She asks the ferry captain to let her go on for free. She promises the next time she comes she’ll pay double the fare. But the ferry captain tells her no.

The wife goes back to the guy she just broke up with. She’s really desperate. But of course they just got in a fight and he refuses to give her any money. She goes to a guy she was with last week, but he is still pretty pissed off and he won’t give her any money either.

She really has no option other than to walk home over the bridge. It’s really dark at night and she doesn’t want to walk home alone. But she takes the chance…and she is raped and killed by a group of thugs.

Who’s to blame for the wife being raped?

-the husband
-the wife
-the ferry captain
-ex number one
-ex number two
-the thugs”

Why was this radio cabbie, a rapist, not afraid of being arrested?

Radio cabs are generally considered safe. The driver’s identity, address and criminal record are verified, (which is why the driver has been arrested so fast). Normally, having his identity and address in the company’s records would have worked as a serious deterrent.

Why did it not?

Why was the driver not afraid of being arrested?

Because he was sure  that the victim would not report.

“The woman initially told the cops that the driver had snatched her gold chain. “A PCR gave the cab a chase till Saket but he managed to escape. It was then that the woman told us about the alleged rape” [Link].

I have blogged about the reluctance refusal of another victim to report rape, here.

And what makes the rape victims so reluctant to report and rapists so confident that they would not be convicted? They know who would be judged and questioned.
Do read this rape analogy along with some of the comments that follow the news report. (With thanks to S who shared it in a comment in the previous post.)

If reporting all crime was like reporting rape…

Officer: A mugging, eh? Where did it take place?

Man: I was walking by 21st and Dundritch Street and a man pulled out a gun and said, “Give me all your money.”

Officer: And did you?

Man: Yes, I co-operated.

Officer: So you willingly gave the man your money without fighting back, calling for help or trying to escape?

Man: Well, yes, but I was terrified. I thought he was going to kill me!

Officer: Mmm. But you did co-operate with him. And I’ve been informed that you’re quite a philanthropist, too.

Man: I give to charity, yes.

Officer: So you like to give money away. You make a habit of giving money away.

Man: What does that have to do with this situation?

Officer: You knowingly walked down Dundritch Street in your suit when everyone knows you like to give away money, and then you didn’t fight back. It sounds like you gave money to someone, but now you’re having after-donation regret. Tell me, do you really want to ruin his life because of your mistake?

Man: This is ridiculous!

Officer: This is a rape analogy. This is what women face every single day when they try to bring their rapists to justice.

Man: Fuck the patriarchy.

Officer: Word

Related posts:

The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them. (When media is not objective)

A visibly shaken Shiney Ahuja gets seven years for raping his maid despite her ‘admitting’ the charges were false. (When media is not objective)

One rapist let off with a few slaps, another rapist allowed to kill for family honor.

India leads in sexual violence, worst on gender equality: Study

“A clandestine, and irresponsible, affair may prove dangerous. A city girl learnt it the hard way,” (When media is not objective)

Rape in India – Ramya

 

Slut Walk: Instead of focusing on the issues the media focuses on how women must protest.

What is Slut Walk?

A Canadian Police officer stated that women could avoid sexual crimes if they did not dress like sluts. Such ignorant statements encourage criminals. In India, The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.” [Click to read] Because they are confident that the victims would be blamed for ‘sexualising their environment’.

Women in Canada protested by marching, dressed as they pleased to convey that they expected ‘Those charged with our safety should have a true understanding of what it is to be a survivor of sexual assault — slut or otherwise

Why call it Slut Walk?

“The name was meant to be provocative. The protests that followed around the world wanted to show continuity with that protest, so they kept the same name.

By using that name, women are saying, if I’m a slut (i.e. a woman who sleeps with many men) you still don’t have the right to touch me, unless I say you do. That prostitutes have the right to refuse sex and be respected. That however provocatively I dress or my sexual conduct in general does not give you the right to act on your misguided assumption that I am up for grabs.” (Bride’s comment on Chandni’s post)
So do not use how a woman is dressed as an excuse to harass/rape/molest/abuse women.

Why should it be safe for a woman to be seen as a slut?

Because Slut Excuses continue ignorance about sexual crimes. Educated, well read people are known feel  that sexual crimes are caused by victims and not the rapists.

Also because many other problems women face are linked to what is seen as dressing or acting or living or walking or socializing like sluts.

Who is a slut? Does a slut rob, kill or break any laws?

The term applied to an individual who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous. The term is generally applied to women as an insult. [from Wikipedia]

Slut Walk questions the assumption that a woman’s personal life should have an impact on how crimes against her are dealt with. In India a woman’s lifestyle has been used by rapists, the society, the media and the police to justify sexual crimes against them.

* * *

An article in The Hindustan Times claimed that slut walk in Delhi doesn’t make sense in a country where, 10 million babies have been killed in the womb because they were girls.

I disagree. We can’t wait for female feticide to stop before we make this world worth living for those who have not been killed in the womb. Every issue needs to be taken seriously.

Also, one of the reasons girl babies are killed is that many parents feel sexual crimes make it difficult to raise daughters. It frightens the parents that no matter what happens, the victim is likely to be blamed. These little girls, babies, young and old women didn’t dress like ‘sluts’.

The same article complains about Slut Walk protesting insensitivity in handling sexual crimes “while women are being burnt for dowry?”

Well, not only are all issues important but also sometimes they are connected.

Why don’t women just walk out of these marriages instead of being burnt alive?

Because they fear living alone.

Why do they fear living alone?

Same sexual harassment. And same excuses for the criminals. Many like Sweety choose to die pure and honorable.

Why is it so easy for a woman to be unsafe? And a rapist to be safe?

Another objection by media, Slut Walk is frivolous because, ‘women are being murdered in honour killings”

Slut Walk is Khap Panchayat’s night mare. It conveys, women do not need to fit into everybody’s ideas of what is honorable.

Also the rural women who roll bidis for Rs 30 a day, face the same risk of being called sluts  and there are  words in Indian languages that convey the same.

Since the protest aims to create better sensitization towards sexual crimes, the dalit women in remotest parts of Indian would also benefit from it.

A recent global survey  found India to be the fourth most dangerous place in the world for women.

And why is India so dangerous for women? One of the reasons is misguided actions. Instead of focusing on the crime and real issues,  the media and the law enforcers focus on how women must protest.

I feel every step in the right direction should be welcomed and supported.


Related Posts:

Chandni – Yes means yes, no means no – The Slut walk

Indian Homemaker- Those charged with our safety should have a true understanding of what it is to be a survivor of sexual assault — slut or otherwise.

A decent man who is overpowered by desire and who does not want to fornicate… should Rape?

The only solution for a decent man who has the means, who is overpowered by desire and who does not want to commit fornication, is to acquire sex slaves. (Salwa Al Mutairi, a woman and a Kuwaiti politician)

Al Mutairi thinks Chechnya would be the right place to buy sex slaves (for their husbands) from.

The country is at war with another state, so there are some captives for sure. I say go and buy those captives, they might just die of hunger over there. I say go and buy them and sell them to merchants here in Kuwait who may otherwise commit a sin.” (Thanks for the link Sunder.)

Al Mutairi sees Fornication (willing partners, but not married to each other) as a crime, and  Rape of helpless women as the solution.

Obedient Wife Club‘s 800 members and Al Mutairi should be told that such thinking is responsible for ‘Overpowered by Desire Disorder (OBDD)’ in men. *Note: The term OBDD is my creation, not a medical term.*

When Getting Married and Staying Married is a woman’s life purpose, some justify domestic violence, some excuse the husband’s crimes, some try  being ‘whores in bed’, some attempt to control who their husbands attack when OBDD strikes.

Some facts about Overpowered By Desire Disorder (OBDD)

1. The disorder is more common in sexually repressed nations, where men and women are not allowed/ are restricted from interacting.

2. OBDD has reached epidemic proportions in nations where women are made to cover up completely. (In countries like India it is more common in places where there is poor rate of conviction and segregation.  )

3. Generally men in most of the Western countries, in Ethiopia and in Nagaland and in many Indian families do not show symptoms of OBDD. These healthy men generally don’t need to use religion/insecurity/marriage/financial dependence for sex. On the contrary, women generally enjoy having sex with them

And sometimes OBDD patients threaten these women with dire consequences for this. Violent envy is common amongst those suffering from OBDD.

It is possible that men with OBDD in these nations have not evolved, physically and mentally, to the level that the rest of the world has.

Could it be that they have genuinely got no control over their bodies and minds?

Let’s assume it is.

So what would be the obvious, intelligent, scientific and civilized solution?

1. Making women, babies and little boys or whoever they attack responsible for the OBDD patient’s condition, or blaming the victim, has been tried.  It seems to aggravate the OBDD.

2. Covering women up partially or completely, controlling their movements and lives, also seems to aggravate the symptoms.

Those afflicted with OBDD  are known to victimize anyone if there is hope of not having to face the consequences. High conviction rates for their OBD actions seems to improve the condition.

3. The most obvious solution –

a. Medication to control the chemicals responsible for  the condition (hormones?).

b. Surgery to remove the problem causing body part/s.

c. An analysis of the patients mental capabilities.

Occasional sedation to control OBDD could be seen as an option during festivals etc.

Restricted use of TV and internet to prevent what patients call ‘provocation’. Blind fold in public places would achieve the same goal.

d. Counseling might work if the condition is discovered in time.

e. Restriction of movements (no traveling alone after dark, no permission to visit lonely parks etc).

Locking up or Institutionalization in severe cases.

f. Male Chastity Belts could prove helpful for some patients.

This video is not in English, so all it does is let us see that indoctrination, extreme desperation and insecurity does not add extra noses to our faces.

A visibly shaken Shiney Ahuja gets seven years for raping his maid despite her ‘admitting’ the charges were false.

News reporting continues to be sympathetic to the rapist.

As the judges read out the sentence, a visibly shaken Shiney Ahuja broke down in the court.

“…Ahuja’s maid had told the court that the actor never raped her. She admitted slapping false charged on the actor…

The maid ‘admitted‘? What does ‘admitted ‘ mean?
Confess, own up, come clean, acknowledge, disclose, divulge. Is that what she did?
“The court, however, decided that she had turned a hostile witness.”

No mention in this report of why the court decided this.

The same tone continues in the following report.where the judge ‘felt’ the victim had given false evidence? No mention of abrasions on his forearm or the forensic reports that made the judge ‘feel’ this way?
The ‘judge found/decided/came to the conclusion” would have been more accurate?

The court has also not accepted the maid’s evidence in the court that she was not raped as the judge felt that she had given false evidence.
Clad in pink shirt and jeans, 38 year old Shiney Ahuja was accompanied by his wife Anupam in the court when the judgment was delivered.
According to the policemen there were tears in his eyes when the judge pronounced the order…

His wife accompanied him. Would she do that if he was a rapist? Could he be an innocent family man with ‘tears in his eyes’?

While convicting the accused, Judge P M Chouhan relied mainly upon the FIR in the case, Shiney’s lawyer Srikant Shivade told reporters who were not allowed in the court as the trial was in-camera.

Did the judge mainly rely upon the FIR?

The Hindustan Times explained it wasn’t just the FIR or how the judge ‘felt’ that led to the conviction,

…the domestic help had turned hostile. But the medical report and DNA finger printing report suggested otherwise.
Both reports suggested an intercourse between the domestic help and Ahuja.
‘The court had primarily taken into consideration the DNA finger printing and medical reports which tested positive,’ said public prosecuter Kashinath Digge
.”

Indian Express report was also unbiased,

“The accused’s conduct, the medical report which supported the prosecution’s claim that the girl suffered a hymen tear, and the DNA evidence were strongly relied upon. The accused is found guilty under Section 376 (rape) of the Indian Penal Code

The victim’s complaint was supported by the medical evidence collected from the spot. “There were bloodstains in Ahuja’s room. The quilt and curtains showed traces of semen. Ahuja’s hands had abrasions,” said Public Prosecutor K V Dighe.

Shouldn’t this have been mentioned instead of describing his tearful eyes?

Note: Writing this post from an IPhone I am not used to, will link the reports and spell check as soon as possible. also this post is a continuation of the discussion in the last post.