“Girls need to be little bit aware of the consequences. Men – will enjoy …”

Here’s a positive news. An Indian American family is taking action against a man allegedly attempting to black mail their daughter by threatening to share her nude photos online.

Daughter of Indian-American billionaire allegedly blackmailed over nude pictures TOI link shared by Rachna (who blogs at Naari, here). I would have changed the heading to ‘Billionaire takes stern action against man allegedly attempting to blackmail his daughter.’

Not everybody saw this as positive. For some it was not about a criminal being punished, but about an unmarried girl forgetting that her body belonged to her future husband. Disagree?

So a young woman, during a relationship, “voluntarily took nude photos and video,” which she shared with the man she was in relationship with.

Imagine another young woman who shared similar photos with a man she was married to.

When they break up the men decide to black mail the two women by threatening to share the pictures on the internet.

Do you think the second woman would receive more support? Why? Doesn’t that also automatically make it less likely for a married man to threaten his wife with sharing her nude photos?

This is how Patriarchy reinforces itself – by this deeply entrenched system of rewards, concessions, threats and punishments.

In India gang rapists record themselves committing a crime and threaten to ‘expose’ the proof that could lead to their conviction (Punishable with life imprisonment/capital punishment) Those who should be taking immediate action to arrest the criminals, watch rape videos (in the Assembly!) and ask women to watch how much skin they are showing. [Three BJP Ministers, including the Women and Child Welfare Minister caught watching rape videos in assembly.]

For some this comes as an opportunity to reinforce misogyny. 

Girls need to be little bit aware of the consequences. Men, no matter where they are from – will enjoy the company, moment and then also try to extract money from the wealthy… having said that this man need to be punished so no other man try to fool the ladies…

One sane voice:

“its hard for judgemental people to understand but this is a LAW and ORDER issue not a moral one, it is not hard to see from the comments why so many atrocities happen against women in India.”

Related posts:

“I blamed myself for putting myself in that situation, for being so vulnerable and so incredibly stupid to believe any of his bullshit.”

The Guwahati mob molestation video and the Gurgaon mob molestation video.

“So why do we wear clothes again??

Guwahati mob molests girl, video goes viral online.

Dev D: Practical Paro Artless Chandramukhi

Slut Walk. And how women’s bodies are different, so they need to be covered for their own safety.

“why not marry them first and then have sex ? What prevents you from doing it ? Deep within YOU WANT JUST SEX and nothing more”

Romanticizing innocence, chastity and related taboos for women.

What is this big problem with Bra Strap Showing?

Here’s why I think the society should not obsess over a woman’s virginity.

Contrast what C C Patil said about crimes against women, with what the man we met in Mewat said :

Feeling safe, learning and unlearning nothing in Mewat


Many of us view watching porn as a harmless activity…

Many of us see watching porn as a harmless activity – and many  more who don’t, still watch it while scorning the actors. I agree with PT in this comment, I think watching porn would be fine if the act is consensual and there is no exploitation involved, and no involvement of minors in filming it.

Now if a ‘blue film’ was made in India, how likely is it that those being filmed are not being exploited, blackmailed, coerced or being raped?

Bhopal, Jan 6: Two weeks after a minor girl committed suicide, an MMS that featured the girl being gangraped by four did the rounds in Harda town, Madhya Pradesh

….the CD showed four people involved in gang rape, as they took turns to rape the girl, the victim can be heard screaming. The accused too can be heard in the CD of threatening her that they would circulate the MMS and upload it on internet. [link]

Even when the film is not violent – are the actors/film makers aware of the social and legal consequences and implications? If they are not, then would the filming still be considered a consensual act? I would like to ask the Karnataka ministers who were filmed watching a rape video in the Assembly – do they see Sunny Leone as immoral and perhaps asking to be forced into a non-consensual act (i.e. asking to be raped)? So, do they believe, that the activities of porn actors remain ‘wrong’ unless they were forced, exploited and harmed?

Anybody who supports watching of porn in India – do they see the viewing as an innocent, liberal activity, but making of the films as wrong? Or do you feel that if participants are willing they are immoral, if they are not they are being exploited – so making of porn is wrong both ways?

The most shocking are those videos where the criminal (the rapists) film themselves committing a crime. What does that say for our society? Why don’t these criminals have any fear of the law or social stigma?

Shouldn’t there be a more information and consequences for young (or old) Indians involved in rape, molestation, making, viewing and circulating of rape videos?

GHAZIABAD: A software engineer, who runs a coaching institute in Ghaziabad, has been arrested for allegedly raping his (minor) student and blackmailing her into stealing cash and jewellery from her parents and relatives. The victim in her complaint has alleged that the accused made an MMS clip to blackmail her. However, the accused has refuted all allegations and said that their sexual relationship was with mutual consent and she had given him the jewellery for safekeeping. [TOI – link]

Noida rape victim becomes a recluse, skips board exams – “They blackmailed me, saying they have an MMS clip featuring me and insisted I go with them or else they will make the clip public,” she had said. [link]

One reads about webcams being fitted in girl’s rooms/flats/trial rooms. Some of these videos are sold as porn – Anara Gupta and DPS, R K Puram student, and another minor in Bombay, the NOIDA gang rape victim are some of the victims.

Here are more links from NDTV.

1. Young girl raped, blackmailed with MMS – The boy first raped the girl along with a friend at knife point, made an MMS clip of it and later used it to force her into have sex with friends and neighbours.

2. Minor girl gang-raped at gun-point; accused make MMS clip Meerut: A 12-year-old Dalit girl was sexually assaulted at gun-point by three men who also made an MMS clip of the act in Daurala area of the district, police said today.
4. Duo raped 15-yr-old, circulated MMS

Radhika emailed to ask what the readers thought of Dharun Ravi, a college student in New Jersey facing ten years in prison for for ‘allegedly watching and surreptitiously webcasting his roommate Tyler Clementi’s sexual encounter with another man‘.
I think, like an average rapist in India, Dharun Ravi did not understand the seriousness of his crime.
Why? Because we are too busy blaming the victims to consider informing potential criminals about a victim’s rights, and finding time to put the fear of law in their minds.
Do you think it might help if we shifted the focus on potential  sexual offenders – with campaigns against tolerance of sexual crimes and with exemplary and well publicized punishments for sexual crimes?
NOTE: If you face any difficulty in commenting please email the comment to me at indianhomemakerATgmailDOTcom. You should also be able to comment by changing the email you are using.
Related posts:

What the hell is difference between a homemaker and a porn star?

What exactly is bothering the person who made this comment? (in response to this post  – ‘What do ‘Modest’ women have that their ‘Immodest’ sisters don’t…’)

He doesn’t like the idea of women benefiting from ‘exposing’ their bodies, even if they are not being exploited, ostracized, stigmatized, traumatized or killed. Why?

He sounds more concerned that women might ‘expose’ their bodies and not feel ashamed of it.

I feel if women stopped being ashamed of their bodies being ‘exposed’ then it would become very difficult to humiliate women by stripping and parading them on the streets. Then maybe women too will (eventually) be seen as family members and not ‘family honor’?

Maybe then a rape victim would feel angry, disgusted, shaken, uncomfortable etc – but not ashamed if a rapist threatens to share an MMS clip of a crime he has committed?

And here’s the comment.

All you women want to expose your bodies and still claim to be a perfect lady. If that’s true what the hell is difference between a homemaker and a porn star. Both do the same damn thing. Just EXPOSE! I hate all your stupid excuses and justifications. A few handful of modestly dressed women are a billion times better all the rest put together.

Imagine if nude magazines are legally launched in India or maybe for the matter a legally functioning porn industry. We would be having celebrities in every corner of the country. Immorality and immodesty would be an integral part of everyone’s life. JUST IMAGINE HELL ON EARTH!

This world would be much better off without you FEMINISTS! A handful of modest feminine women are a billion times better than all the rest put together.

About the difference between a homemaker and a porn star,

1. One is seen as a working a woman even if she a homemaker, the other is seen only as a homemaker.

2. One might face stigma and be ostracized by the society, maybe even by those who watch her videos or photographs (even in the assembly).

3. One is more likely to be married than the other.

4. Both are generally assumed to be women.

Any other?

Related posts:

Aankhon Ki Sharam

Babe In Total Control Of Herself – B.I.T.C.H.

“The rape victim had gone there willingly. She was not lured into it. They drank vodka.”

The Kolkotta police had suspected a car rape victim’s story and blamed her for going to a night club (read more here). Now Noida police puts the blame on a class X student raped by five men in their twenties, in a car that belonged to one of them.

And worse,

“In violation of a Supreme Court order regarding disclosure of identity of rape victims, the press release issued by the Noida police gives details of a 17 year old victim including her name and address.” [Read more.]
Although the press release quoted the victim saying she was lured into it, and forced to drink, the Noida police claims,

“She had gone there willingly… She was not lured into it… They drank vodka,” said Ananth Dev Tiwari, Superintendent of Police, Noida.

There are court directions which say the victims’ statement should be taken at face value till the trial proves otherwise. [ NDTV article here.]

Why did a police officer break the law?

I wonder if he was hoping that if she could be proven suspected to have gone willingly, and drinking vodka, she would not get as much sympathy. And perhaps then Noida police would not be held responsible for not creating an environment that discourages sexual assaults? Or maybe he genuinely believed that the teenager deserved to be raped by five men because she knew one of them and went to his birthday party (where others were already present)?

Is it difficult to believe when the family says they did not report an earlier rape by the main accused an year ago, after which, they allege, he threatened the minor with an MMS clip?

Why does it look like the police has no idea that they are paid, trained and employed for protecting the victims and for controlling crimes and that can’t be achieved if the victims are afraid to report crimes?