(One of those 104 drafts.)
I am on my laptop, Daughter (17), is sprawled diagonally across the bed, finishing an school assignment. Son’s practicing guitar in his room. Contentment is this.
Suddenly, “How do you know when you are really, reeally in love?”
I thought madam was studying!
“When the guy wants to see you as successful as your own parents do, because nobody can care for you like your own parents can.”
“Okay. But this is not a good time for love or even for minor crushes!! You have so much to do, you have seen how your friends waste their time, first celebrating, then crying, break ups, moping, making up or making out and they have no time to think of their future … you get emotional about a guy at this age and at this crucial stage of your life and all your dreams will go kaput.”
“That’s why I think you just say you won’t mind if I had a boyfriend! If I really had one, you won’t like it. Now I know why they (her friends) don’t tell their mothers.”
(Feeling terribly guilty and wondering if what she says is true …)
“Okay, being in love, really in love, would be a best friend cum crush, with maybe some chemistry thrown in?”
“Yeah, and someone who likes me the way I am, I shouldn’t need to pretend …”
“Meaning he gets to see how you keep your room? Okay, someone whose parents you like, someone who can come home, and walk into the kitchen and discuss my blog with me ? You saw ‘Jaane tu ya jaane na’ – that’s a cool relationship.”
She can see ‘he’ is not that kind. I am just not sure I have said the right things. Maybe my confused Indian values make me wish she’d stay away from any boy friends until she’s settled with a good career … we are fed with so much t, c & mv ( Traditions, Culture and Moral Values) that when a trusting heart wants you to be a friend you are not sure what to say.
SOME ADVICE PLEASE!