When a crime is a punishment or a lesson taught to the victim.

Sharing a guest post by PD.

Do the circumstances of a rape matter?

I  live in the UK, currently there is a lot of discussion regarding this rape case – Predatory soccer stars, a drunken girl and a very seedy night at the Premier Inn: RICHARD PENDLEBURY revisits the disturbing events that led to the rape trial of Ched Evans [link].

There is additional controversy because of comments made by a female presenter who suggested that the punishment given to this football player was sufficient because although the attack was ‘unpleasant’, his victim was very drunk (thereby justifying the attack).

Ironically,  this presenter and her daughter have now in turn been threatened with rape by trolls on her Twitter page (Rape threat to Judy’s daughter: Richard Madeley to call in police after Twitter trolls’ vile attacks on Chloe)

[IHM: This. Rape is seen as a punishment or a lesson for women. Almost anything a woman does can be used to justify this ‘punishment’. The presenter here, being a woman,  is being viewed as deserving of this punishment. The threats too are meant to be ‘insulting’ and are meant to be viewed as ‘punishments’.] 

Something has been bugging me about this case and the subsequent furore caused by the various opinions expressed.

1. Do the circumstances of a rape matter? The end result is the same,  a woman is violated against her will.  It’s almost like saying some forms of abuse are worse than others or some murders are worse than others.

2. Regardless of the the circumstances or whose fault it was,  these two men went out that night looking for a girl to take back to their hotel.  They came across a girl who could barely stand straight and decided to take her back to the hotel despite knowing that she was in no fit state to give consent (if it was given at all in the first place). The is something very creepy about sober men picking up drunk girls for the sole purpose of intercourse and then justifying their actions by placing the blame firmly on the girl’s shoulders.

3. Putting myself in the girls’ shoes, it was indeed very reckless of her to go out on her own,  getting so drunk that she could barely stand and not making provisions to make it back home safely. Being an overly cautious person by nature,  this is something I would never do and it’s hard for me to understand why she would put herself in such a situation.  But does this justify what happened to her?

I’m interested to hear what your readers make of this story and the subsequent public view/backlash.

Related Posts:

What makes Men Rape?

Yet another rape that was not about lust but about aggression, revenge and putting the victim in her place.

Boys can make mistakes.

Rapist said that coming from Afghanistan meant he didn’t understand what ‘consent’ was.

“I am safe because I’m very careful in the way I behave and dress in public, on the streets.”

“Sometimes it seems like every single thing I do has the potential to be something ‘provocative’.” 

Have a Good Time in India, Sister (Gounderbrownie)

Are we trying to threaten Indian women with rapes as punishment for modernity, independence and self reliance?

“As long as the men do not understand that they CANNOT and WILL NOT get away with such behavior and criminal acts, the rape culture will not go away”

Controlling crimes against women: What works, what doesn’t work.

This is what rapists do when there is no fear of punishment.

How Victim Blaming confuses rapists, police and the society about when exactly does non-consensual-sex becomes a crime.

The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.


Student gang-raped, killed, ‘Maratha’ etched on body

What kind of culture and values create this kind of hate, misogyny, aggression and lack of fear/ respect for law? Rape is a crime of hate and aggression. An innocent young person is tortured and is dead at twenty, and for many it is not a crime against her, but against the community she comes from. And there are many who still claim that rape is about sex. This is Rape Culture.

Student gang-raped, killed, ‘Maratha’ etched on body

BELGAUM: A 20-year-old college student was gang-raped and murdered at Sulebhavi village, 20 km from here, on Friday. The girl’s half-naked body was found in a farm on the outskirts of the village the next morning.

Police sources said the rapists had smashed her face with a stone and written “Maratha” on her body in Devanagari script before fleeing the place.

Maybe this is an attempt to create conflicts. Or maybe the rapists thought it would be be easier to avoid arrest if the crime is politicised. Identity of the victim has not been revealed, but here’s a TOI comment (edited)

1 ***** community girl = 20 *****other community girl . now wait and watch what we can do you **** community


“Both boy and girl were responsible, who had done marriage without informing their parents.”

I wonder if the law would consider the husband a rapist in this case. How would her marital status affect the Rape Survivor? Does it benefit the man, legally and socially, to deny, or to acknowledge the marriage?

If the marriage is recognized by the law, then the husband probably can’t be convicted of rape (marital rape is not a crime in India), so maybe then the woman has the option of seeking divorce on grounds of cruelty?

What are the chances of her parents and the police being supportive, specially since she had ‘married’ without taking the parents’ permission and blessings, and also because the other two rapists seem to be related to the ‘husband’. (Family matters, family name, honor etc)

New Delhi: 20-year-old woman was raped in a moving car allegedly by her husband and his two relatives in Delhi, police said on Thursday.

The incident came to light on Wednesday evening when the victim was found unconscious in Najafgarh by a passerby.
… a medical examination confirmed the sexual assault. She and Inderjeet got married in a temple without informing their families.

The victim claimed she was served cold-drinks laced with sedatives allegedly by Inderjeet, and his relatives Nitin and Vijender – all in their early 20s – then allegedly raped her. The trio have been arrested.

Inderjeet allegedly asked her to come to Delhi from her house in Jhajjar in Haryana to get their marriage registered.

When she met him, she was taken to a car.
“She told us that after she became unconscious, they allegedly raped her,” a senior police official said. [Woman allegedly raped by husband, kin in a moving car in Delhi]

This response sums up how many others would see this crime.

So the wrong this husband committed is marrying without informing the parents, not planning the rape with two relatives?

oh……..but who is responsible…..is that govt.?…….no…..both boy and girl were responsible,,,who had done marriage without informing their parents. [Anonymous]

Another comment is trying to understand why such crimes are so common.

We are a repressed society.. Have u seen animals raping? Or always sexual.. We need to understand why we are a repressed society and the reasons we indulge in such activities.. It’s just not only rape…  It’s also violence towards women n children.. Especially girl child… The only remedy is to understand why.. Laws will be made, but people’s urges can’t be tamed with mere law.. A deeper reason has to be understood and rectified.. [Akshat Mehrotra]

Related Posts:
Who will benefit from criminalising sexual assaults within marriages?

Four kinds of marriages in modern India. Which ones would you ban?

Daughter in law locked in cowshed, raped by spouse, neighbours and others.

Making Marital Rape a legal offence is the fastest way to make it clear that Rape means forced sex, not lost Virginity or Honor.

This is what Haryana Khaps are not saying.

“She was crying but she told us she wants to live…”

Many of us can’t even bear to read or hear about what the six rapists did to the 23 year old woman in a moving bus on Sunday night, and these men were able to go back to work the next day. What kind of people would do this?

The damage to the intestine is permanent. With the intestine removed, she will be on intravenous fluids for life.

The woman’s younger brother said: “I met her this morning. She was crying but she told us she wants to live… this was just before she was being wheeled in for another surgery. It is our worst nightmare… to see her in so much pain. We are still not in our senses.”

Dr B D Athani, medical superintendent of the hospital, said, “A large part of her intestine had been damaged due to the injuries she sustained… Today, we decided to do an elective procedure to explore the wounds in her abdomen and examine the damaged organs. We had to remove almost the entire residual intestine.” [Link]

The rapists clearly intended to kill them both.

They were naked, not one from crowd helped, cops got sheets

Stripped and thrown out of the bus after the gangrape and assault on Sunday night, the 23-year-old woman and her friend lay by the roadside in Mahipalpur.

Not one from the crowd that had gathered there — police said there were at least 50 people there when they reached the spot — came to their help. No one even bothered to cover them. Cars pulled up, people rolled down windows but the woman and her friend lay there naked till policemen arrived, got two sheets from a nearby hotel, covered and carried them to hospital.

Why didn’t anybody from the crowd react? I think they were too shocked to do anything? Maybe, along with fast track courts, we also need awareness about what to do if we come across crime victims or crimes. Here’s a link, http://www.911rape.org/home

I am not aware if we have any such Indian sites for rape victims, or for those who are trying to help them, in fact this is the first time we are hearing about what a rape victim and her family are going through without any subtle or blatant attempts to pass moral judgment on her.

Is torture less terrifying than death?

Is torture any less terrifying than death? Specially cruelty caused by hatred, like seen in the Guwahati molestation video? Which one do you fear more? This 23 year old rape victim has been brutally tortured and raped in a moving bus, she has been through surgeries and is on ventilator now. Do we have any separate laws against such torture? The victim’s condition is ‘very critical’ [link]. Do you think the sentence for physical and mental torture, and injury be different from the sentence for rape? (Awarded in addition to the sentence for rape)

Do you think the gang rape in a moving bus was about sex or more about impunity, perversion, hatred and aggression?

Please do watch the video below. (Video shared by Anoosha Reddy).

Compare this screen shot to the depiction of sex workers in Talaash.

The woman is shown to be enjoying this

With women being asked to either cover up or make (and keep) themselves beautiful, is it any surprise that these men believe that ‘women are for’ being molested, raped, ‘teased’ or owned and hence protected?

That's what women are for

Do we make any efforts to make Indian men see that sex and rape are not synonyms? Did media, religion, teachers, political leaders or his family tell this man (and others like him) ‘why won’t we tease’ (molest) a girl no matter how offensive we find her clothing? Is he aware that a disapproval of a woman’s clothing is not a reason (legally) for raping her?

Nobody has told him why not

Video shared by Anoosha Reddy.

The kind of videos young Indians need to watch.

Please do watch this video. (Not sure who shared it, please let me know if you did).

What made these four rapists think (if that’s what they really thought) that any girl would want to be assaulted by them? Are these young men dangerous social misfits or are they ‘gumrah’ (mislead) youth?

One of them says, “khud bulaaya aur dekhiyo kitna bhaav khaa rahi hai

(Rough translation: She herself invited us and now see how she is playing hard to get.)

If they could believe that any woman could want to be sexually assaulted, what kind of relationship do such men have with women in general? Also, with this kind of mindset, what kind of sex lives do they expect to have with their wives/partners? Do they believe sex is rape?

Ever heard young Indian men (or Indian men of any age) being taught that no matter what they hear the moral police or some women’s commissions, the Khaps, Taliban, some political leaders, some police officers, some school and college principals, some neighbourhood uncles and aunties etc say about women’s clothing and social life, women do not ask to be sexually assaulted?

And why were they not afraid of the consequences? What made them so confident that the victim would be silenced?

A screen shot:

Screen Shot 2012-12-17 at 5.55.05 AM

Five rapists in Patna want to marry gangrape victim.

They rape a class mate, they also make an MMS of their act. Then, when they are arrested and interrogated, they are so ashamed that all five of them offer to marry the girl they raped.

Most Indian rapists don’t expect the crime to be reported or taken seriously (or else they won’t dare make videos of their own crimes). They are also used to the society acting like their lawyers – shaming, blaming and silencing the victims. So these arrests must have come as a shock to them. They seem to believe the offer would make them seem suitably ashamed? What kind of life-partners do these five rapists think they would make for any woman?

Police said that a month after the incident, the accused had visited a cybercafé near their school to get a CD made of the clippings so they could allegedly blackmail the victim in the future.

What do you think do these young Indian men think marriage is? What makes them have that idea of marriage?

Rapists in Patna want to marry gangrape victim

Patna, Aug 1: Five persons accused of gang raping a girl in Patna’s Rajvanshi Nagar have told police that they were ashamed of their act and want to marry the victim…

Patna police says,  all of them now want to marry the minor schoolgirl.

“During interrogation, they felt ashamed of their act and repented before they were produced in court,” a police officer said.

Does the police seem sympathetic to the rapists? Why was marrying the victim seen as an option?

Rachna on Naari blog (in Hindi) asks,

It’s disgusting that a rapist thinks marrying him would be an honorable option for the rape victim.

So, who needs to look honorable in the society? And who is seen as capable of providing that dignity?

One of the rapists was the victim’s boy friend, what do you think must be the mental state of the teenager after a betrayal like this?

Read more about these five rapists here.

Bhagwad Jal Park suggested that apart from maximum jail terms, the rapists/molesters should also be made to pay a significant amount of monetary compensation to the victim.

“When offenders are normally punished, the woman doesn’t benefit in any way. And the offender knows this. So it’s still a net loss for the victim, regardless of punishment. The purpose has been served. She was “taught a lesson”. But imagine if the victim were to benefit from the offender? Then he would think ten times before carrying out his plan. Because far from “teaching her a lesson”, he knows he will have to suffer to directly benefit her! No longer can he just assault her and have no more connection to the woman, leaving her with the shame and horror of what happened. Instead, his hard earned money will be transferred to her regularly.”  [Molestation Cases – Make the Offender Pay the Victim]

Don’t you think instead of letting rapists suggest getting married to the victim, they should have to not just go to the jail but also pay compensation to the victim?

So how does Delhi – NCR Police define Rape?

It doesn’t look like SHO Sunil Kumar, Ghazipur sees forced sex as rape.

“Go to a pub in South Delhi. Go to Greater Kailash where there is free entry for girls. Jinhone 1,000 rupaiye mein wo karna hai wo wahan jati hain. Daru bhi peeti hai aur aap ke saath sex bhi karti hai… Jis din koi thok dega rape ho jayega. (In these places you’ll find girls who want to do ‘it’ for Rs. 1,000. They will drink and also have sex with you. The day somebody uses force, it becomes rape).”

Some in the Police seem to see getting aggressive as a normal reaction to finding a woman sexually attractive.

Ladkiya ek seemit daire main, seemit kapdon main nahi niklengi… to apne aap khichaon ho jata hai. Wo khichaon bhi aggressive kar deta hai ki kar do bas (Sub-Inspector Arjun Singh, SHO Surajpur Police Station, Greater Noida)

The police seems to see 18-20 year old gang-rapists as ‘kids’ and sharing of phone number as consent to be raped.

SHO Jagdish Prasad said: “In the recent DLF case, the girl is 27-years-old, the boys are 18 to 20-years-old. They are kids. She was dancing with these kids in the bar… I am telling you she induced them… the girl came and gave her phone number to them.”

Atleast some in Delhi Police clearly and unbelievably see rape as a normal act and reporting of rapes as a proof of malintent.

“It’s never easy for the victim. Everyone is scared of humiliation. Everyone’s wary of media and society. In reality, the ones who complain are only those who have turned rape into a business.” (Yogender Singh Tomar, Additional SHO, Sector 39, Noida)

What is he trying to say here? That consensual sex with one man is consent to be gang raped by others?

It’s very rare that a girl is forcefully picked up by 10 boys. A girl who gets into a car with boys is never innocent. If she does, she definitely has a relationship with at least one of them.

And here’s one that I could not understand –

Roop Lal of Sector 40, Gurgaon, sought to find a rationale to the occurrence of gang-rape: “Jaise hum log baithe hai, zyaada daaru pee li. Chalte peeli. B********, phekh saala, phir to aise hi hoga. Raat bhar rakh li. Uska jawab kya degi wo apne gharwalon ko, ki jo ek ghante ke liye keh kar gayi hai, aur poori night main kahan gayi thi. To maa-baap to poochenge, bhai bhi poochega. Jinka samaaj hai woh to poochte hai (Say we are sitting and had one drink too many while on the move… it’s obvious that it’ll happen. Keep her for the entire night. What will she tell her parents? She was supposed to be away for an hour and has ended up being out the entire night. Parents will question, so will her brother. Society will ask questions.”

What is he trying to say?

Is there any doubt that the Delhi-NCR Police has no understanding of sexual crimes?

Please read the article, and there is nothing really new here, but it’s horrifying, and it shows exactly why Delhi-NCR stays unsafe for women and their families – In and around Delhi, cops blame rapes on women: Tehelka investigation with NDTV.

Thanks for sharing the link Oasis Greenday.

Related Posts:

Made me think… – Celestial Rays

Gurgaon pub attendant gang rape victim: Went willingly? Refused medical test?

Since I wasn’t watching the news on TV, I googled to find out about the news everybody here is talking about.

Poster by Rahmath.

Is this the same case being reported?


A 23-year-old woman working as a guest attendant in a pub at Sahara mall at MG Road, was allegedly gang raped by six unknown assailants in DLF phase-II Area of Gurgaon on Sunday night.

The victim was dragged out by five unknown assailants from a radio taxi cab she had hired from Gurgaon to Badarpur in Delhi and later she was abducted by the assailants in their car. The victim was gangraped in a mansion at DLF Area and later she was dropped at Chattarpur Metro Station at MG Road.

The medical reports of the victim confirmed gang rape. [link]


“It all happened in the wink of an eye. The Maruti car pulled up right in front of my car. I had slowed down as I was taking a U-turn. Five men came out while one remained in the seat. They put a hand on her mouth, dragged her inside the car and sped away in the wrong direction,” said Mehdi Hassan, the cab driver.

A medical examination was conducted on the victim but the police are yet to access the reports. [Link]

And then this report tells something entirely different – The same cab driver? Same name atleast…


Pub attendant ‘raped’ in Gurgaon

Apart from that, Mehendi Hassan, Radio taxi cab driver in his statement to police said: “The victim along with his [her?] cousin hired taxi at around 2:30 am. His cab was overtaken by six unknown youths who were in the Maruti 800 car having registration number HR 266458. They knocked on the door of his cab and they called the girl out. She stepped out of the car on her own and even her cousin did not oppose when she got into the Maruti 800. The investigations has taken a backseat since the records of the registration number of the vehicle was burnt during  a major fire in 1994 at the transport office.” [Link]

And the last one – I found no other link to confirm this report below.


Alleged gang rape victim from Gurgaon refuses medical test

Gurgaon:  A 23-year-old girl who worked at a pub at a Gurgaon mall near Delhi says she was gang-raped last night. The police says the alleged victim was reportedly hired by the pub to engage with male customers.

However, the girl has refused to undergo medical test. [Link]


Edited to add: Does it look like, we don’t take reporting of sexual crimes seriously? There seems to be some difficulty in believing that a rape victim would  actually report the crime. Not surprising I guess, because reporting of rapes is a new phenomenon, traditionally women suffered silently (or took their lives) to save the Indian culture.

Now it is becoming difficult to shame and silence rape victims – not very convenient for rapists and rape-apologists.


Related Posts:

“The rape victim had gone there willingly. She was not lured into it. They drank vodka.”

There are some inconsistencies in what this rape victim is alleging.