Do you believe that if this video was shot in Delhi, the girl would not reach home alive?

What do you make of this video? How do you think would the experience differ in Delhi? Or worse, Madhya Pradesh? Or Bihar, Haryana or UP?

IndieTube in Mumbai decided to mimic the ‘10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman‘ video. The model wears a top and a short skirt and walks around Mumbai city throughout the day, almost 10 hours of walking. To their surprise she did not get a single instance of street harassment. (But many women were not surprised.)

Many comments seem to believe, with absolute certainty, that if this video was shot in Delhi – the girl would not reach home alive. Many are sure she would have been sexually assaulted.

What do you think?

I think, 98% chances are that she would face Street Sexual Harassment from strangers. In some places it would be subtle.

Stares would be the most common intimidation and harassment.  Also, attempts at seemingly accidental physical contact (like almost pushing her while walking past her).

And in many some places there would be Nothing. These will be the areas where many women dress the way they choose to, and they drive, walk, ride on two wheelers, sit, stand, laugh or just loiter – in public spaces. It seems, presence of confident and empowered women on the streets makes streets safer for women. [Link][Link]

(unfortunately such places are not many). Also, some (not all) of these places might be seen as a bad influence on our culture. Can you think of some such places?

In some neighbourhoods where criminals have more freedom, and where women are more controlled [link], (directly related) there would be less fear of consequences for the criminals – here there is a possibility of the woman being followed for short distances, maybe singing or humming, and in some places, maybe attempts at touching her.

Do consider:

1. The video is shot in broad daylight and in crowded streets.

2. Only 2% of sexual crimes against women are committed by strangers (Stranger Rape Myth) 98% of such crimes are committed by someone known to the victim.

(Though ofcourse in India, perhaps a large percent of that 2% are committed in Madhya Pradesh, Delhi, UP, Haryana, Kerala and Bihar?)

3. Also, I think, often, Public Transport seems to be a more unsafe Public Space for women, than the streets are. [Link1] [Link 2][Link 3]

Related Posts:

Research survey on Street Harassment

Which city in India, do you think is the safest city for women? Do women in that city stay at home after dark?

Study finds 98% of India rape victims knew their attacker.

Home most unsafe place for women : A unique court-ordered study by Delhi Police has revealed.

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

Indian women dancing in the streets? Photographs.

What’s the best way to fight for your rights and freedoms and to prevent Talibanization of India?

“Sunitha Krishnan spoke in my kid’s school about violence against women, only girls were allowed in the audience.”

Can sexual harassment be compared to Terrorism against a whole community called women?

What did Sharad Yadav mean by, ‘Who amongst us has not followed girls?’

Is stalking of girls and women illegal in India?

‘“Why would this girl lie? After all she is taking the blame on herself”, said the police officer to the criminal infront of me.’

The fearlessness of the Indian ‘Eve teaser’ (sexual criminals)

“… people will say we encouraged these men to follow us… even though we are innocent”

When young women hear victims being shamed, blamed and silenced after each news of sexual crimes against women, is it surprising that they feared they would be blamed for the Street Sexual Harassment they faced everyday?

In their suicide notes — one runs into six pages, the other is four-page long —  the girls speak of fear and shame, of disrepute, of tongues wagging simply because young men had been following and harassing them.

“Everyday a new man would come and chase us. They would pass lewd remarks and offer us phone numbers.
The people around us would stare as if we had done something wrong. You know how bad our colony is… how people will say we encouraged these men to follow us… even though we are innocent,” Madhu wrote.

What could have lead to their fear of being blamed and shamed?

Take a look at just one example of what they feared,

Related Posts:

Is stalking of girls and women illegal in India?

Would women be in some ways empowered if they saw no shame in what they could risk being called?

What did Sharad Yadav mean by, ‘Who amongst us has not followed girls?’

Reserved seats and coaches are not a special indulgence towards women, they are an indication of a serious social problem.

The fearlessness of the Indian ‘Eve teaser’ (sexual criminals)

Are we trying to threaten Indian women with rapes as punishment for modernity, independence and self reliance?

Did the posters threatening acid attacks on women wearing jeans surprise you?

Dad knifes girl for speaking to lover

“As long as the men do not understand that they CANNOT and WILL NOT get away with such behavior and criminal acts, the rape culture will not go away”

Controlling crimes against women: What works, what doesn’t work.

This is what rapists do when there is no fear of punishment.

How Victim Blaming confuses rapists, police and the society about when exactly does non-consensual-sex becomes a crime.

The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.

It’s Your Fault

“She was warned several times and was used to unethical practices like friendship with boys.”

How did we make Indian criminals believe that they have 7 khoon maaf if they can claim to be teaching Indian women a lesson in Indian values?

Allahabad girl Aarti Yadav beats harasser, sets bike on fire

Can sexual harassment be compared to Terrorism against a whole community called women?

“Such mannequins will excite men and pose a danger to women.”

“I am safe because I’m very careful in the way I behave and dress in public, on the streets.”

In Gurgaon, jobs, safety and roads after 8 pm, reserved for men?

The night I was not an easy prey.

Which city in India, do you think is the safest city for women? Do women in that city stay at home after dark?

“Sometimes it seems like every single thing I do has the potential to be something ‘provocative’.”

When they don’t even understand crime, how are they ever going to begin controlling it?

Those charged with our safety should have a true understanding of what it is to be a survivor of sexual assault — slut or otherwise.

 

 

Plain-clothed police officers, warning signboards, cancellation of permits, helplines: SC directs States to take serious steps to curb Street Sexual Harassment.

And if Sexual Harassment is reported, the bus driver must immediately drive the vehicle to the nearest police station.

This is what we do when we take a crime; and safety, rights and freedoms of citizens seriously.

Realising that more and more women are now using public spaces and transport, and are finding them unsafe, and that safety of women and girls is ‘of extreme importance to a civilised and cultured society‘,

Supreme Court issues directions to curb sexual harassment of women. 

* All states and UTs are directed to depute plain-clothed female police officers in the precincts of bus-stands and stops, railway stations, metro stations, cinema theatres, shopping malls, parks, beaches, public service vehicles, places of worship to monitor and supervise incidents of sexual harassment.

* States and UTs to install CCTV in strategic positions which itself would be a deterrent and if detected, the offender could be caught.

* Persons in-charge of the educational institutions, places of worship, cinema theatres, railway stations, bus stands have to take steps as they deem fit (IHM: I think it is clear that this would not be considered a serious step.) to prevent sexual harassment, within their precincts and, on a complaint being made, they must pass on the information to the nearest police station or the women’s help centre.

* Where any incident of sexual harassment is committed in a public service vehicle either by the passengers or the persons in charge of the vehicle, the crew of such vehicle shall, on a complaint made by the aggrieved person, take such vehicle to the nearest police station and give information to the police. Failure to do so should lead to cancellation of the permit to ply.

* States and UTs are directed to establish women’s helpline in various cities and towns to curb sexual harassment within three months.

* Suitable sign boards cautioning act of sexual harassment be exhibited in all public places including precincts of educational institutions, bus stands, railway stations, cinema theatres, parties, beaches, public service vehicles, places of worship etc.

* Responsibility is also on the passersby and on noticing such incident; they should also report it to the nearest police station or to the helpline to save the victims from such crimes.

* States and UTs would take adequate and effective measures by issuing suitable instructions to the authorities concerned including the District Collectors and the District Superintendent of Police in order to take effective and proper measures to curb such incidents of sexual harassment.

Another link: Curb eve-teasing with an iron hand, Supreme Court fiat to all States.

Related Posts:

Is stalking of girls and women illegal in India?

Why a ban on jeans may not stop street sexual harassment of women.

Can sexual harassment be compared to Terrorism against a whole community called women?

Those charged with our safety should have a true understanding of what it is to be a survivor of sexual assault — slut or otherwise.

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

Allahabad girl Aarti Yadav beats harasser, sets bike on fire

When a college principal refused to be a Taliban ally 😉

Where in India are you likely to see teenage girls doing this?

“Sometimes it seems like every single thing I do has the potential to be something ‘provocative’.”

Men in Delhi Metro women’s coaches fined Rs 32 lakh

He said, “You’re a very beautiful girl, but don’t wear such clothes…”

She started a fight between two men?

Reserved seats and coaches are not a special indulgence towards women, they are an indication of a serious social problem.

What’s the best way to fight for your rights and freedoms and to prevent Talibanization of India?

The fearlessness of the Indian ‘Eve teaser’ (sexual criminals)

An email from an American reader : “He then said… ‘..my wife is very sexy.’”

Said Noodle strap to the Sari

Not just a pair of jeans

The fearlessness of the Indian ‘Eve teaser’ (sexual criminals)

What do you think made each of these criminals so shameless and so bold?

1.

“Eve-teasers in India team raise a stink in China

BEIJING: Indian officials managing a youth delegation found themselves struggling to curb rampant harassment of girls by a section of the boys during their week-long tour of China. Desperate officials were forced to separate men and women in separate buses to avoid an untoward incident…

Women members complained to both Chaudhury and the ministry in New Delhi before officials stepped in and asked some of the boys to behave…. At one stage, a section of the troublemakers were ordered to keep out of a sightseeing tour and stay in their hotel rooms.

“Some of us were feeling ashamed being seen with these boys. We were hoping officials from the Nehru Kendra and the ministry were more strict. But they seemed helpless as well,” a male member of the delegation said.” [link]

What made them seem ‘helpless’?

Now that they are back, are they planning to take some action against these ‘eve teasers’? If not, then why not?

2.

“Girl molested, thrown out of train in Karnataka

(Link shared by Sandhya and Nithya Pari)

MADDUR: A 19-year-old girl who resisted a molestation attempt by a group of youths was kicked out of a moving train by them near Maddur on Tuesday afternoon. She survived miraculously, but suffered grievous injuries.

..
Kavya boarded the general compartment at Kengeri. The four youths, who are believed to have entered the coach at Ramanagaram, began teasing her.When Kavya rebuked them, one of the youths tried to molest her.
She got up from her seat and went near the door. The youths followed her and continued to misbehave. They pushed her out when she said she would inform police.” [link]
How is this crime any different from what happened in Guwahati?
What are the chances of these criminals being punished?
3.
 TIRUVANNAMALAI: A 22-year-old polytechnic student committed suicide after her cousin and two other youth first filmed her while she was taking bath and then raped her by threatening to post the clippings on the internet. Police have arrested the three youth, all college students.” [link]
What is it about the Indian culture and society that makes sexual criminals so shameless and fearless, and the victims so ashamed of something somebody else did?

“Sometimes it seems like every single thing I do has the potential to be something ‘provocative’.”

A guest post by an Indian teenager. Part I of ‘Confessions of an Indian Teenager’

I wasn’t always a feminist. I started identifying myself as a feminist when I was 16. Ever since I knew what feminism was, actually.

These confessions are experiences that happened both before and after I identified myself as a feminist. The difference is how I looked at those experiences and how feminism gave me strength.

Ours is a nuclear family. My mother, my father and me. We live in a city (not a town) and both my parents work. I’m going to start college after a few weeks. My parents did not force any subject or ambition on me. They allow me to go out with my friends, do not force me to wear salwar-kameez and don’t think I’m inherently less intelligent than a boy because I do not have that Y chromosome.

Sounds pretty liberal, right?

Only on the surface.

My father wants me to “tone down” because otherwise my husband will divorce me in three months (he guarantees me that it will be so) and kick my butt out of the house. He assures me, that he is telling me all this “as a man, not a father” and that the fights between my parents will actually be negligible when compared to the fights which will obviously happen between my husband and me.

I’ve been telling my mum that I don’t wanna marry (since a few months) and that I want to be a single mom. But, my father tells me not to be “over-smart”. Because, you know, the only aim of my life should be to GET married and STAY married, regardless of what I have to do for it.

He tells me to keep my room tidy because women are supposed to clean (and cook) stuff. Otherwise “what kind of a girl” am I?

In short, he expects me to be this totally important person, and at the same time asks me to tone myself down. It does not suit a woman, you know.

The mixed messages I get in my house is pathetic. Actually, it is not mixed. Its like “I hope you become really successful but your first priority should be to be a dutiful daughter, wife and mother”. And we all know what that is in the Indian context.

Do Not Have A Voice.

It gives rise to a whole bunch of other stuff – Don’t wear this skirt, don’t wear that top, don’t do this, don’t do that! Don’t, don’t, don’t!!!

Sometimes it seems like every single thing I do has the potential to be something “provocative”.

You might be wondering why I’m not saying anything about my mother. The thing is, well, it is complicated to explain but fairly common in our much-valued Indian society.

*

I went outside my home.

No big deal, really. My dad sends me out at even 9 pm (late by Indian standards) sometimes to buy a few eggs because he loves eggs but feels totally lazy to go out. So, he gives me this amazing opportunity to be a dutiful child (notice that I’m not a girl here, I’m a child).

And because I’m a child, I can do stuff that a girl is not allowed to do. Things traditionally thought of as a son’s duty…

Anyway, I wanted to get a recharge for my prepaid account. It was six in the evening. My mother was all like “You can’t go out now… Your father will…” blah blah blah. I reminded her of my fairly regular egg-scapades and she (very) reluctantly allowed me to go (come back as soon as you can). I went out.

Now, let me give you an idea of what I was wearing – A grey tee and a red almost-to-my-knee shorts (the fact that I’m even telling you about my outfit at all is evidence enough to point towards the screwed-up state of our society). I live in a flat. I went down the stairs and onto the street. Two men were coming towards the way I was headed and my first thought was “OK, they’re just walking – let me stare unto my mobile and pretend to text”.

I continued that until I reached the end of the street and I was thankful, yes, thankful, that I didn’t see any person on the lane connected to the street. I say person and not man because if you wear anything other than something which shows only your neck and face, most women give you these horrible judging glances and somehow, it is truly disturbing.

I know misogynists aren’t only men. I know it. It still shocks when they size you up depending on what you wear (as if that is the most important aspect of your personality).

The next street was totally dark – not even a streetlight. By that time, I was feeling very jumpy and nervous. I was afraid that if a guy comes now – or a group of guys – I would be molested. Dark street. Nobody around. We’ve all heard it from the stories, right?

I did NOT want to meet ANY person AT ALL. Just go to the shop, get the damn thing and return home. The shop was somewhat close to my place so I went in the clothes I did. I know clothes don’t really matter – I’ve had enough personal experience – but still. Social conditioning is a powerful thing. Actually, clothes don’t matter at all.

One thing is there, there is an unnatural obsession with women’s breasts. No matter WHAT she is wearing or how old she is.

Anyway, so yeah, I went to that shop. But guess what? I didn’t get what I wanted.

And here is where things get really interesting (or really repulsive).

I was determined to get what I wanted and started to go to a shop nearby (it was nearby, actually. About the distance from my home to the first shop. But, the distances don’t matter, the people in the streets do).

I told myself what I always do, “It is not your fault. It is theirs. You can totally do this. TOTALLY. Nothing to be scared of”.

So, I went.

As I stepped out of that shop, I saw two women go by – in salwar-kameez – and it made me feel that they would harass me and not them. Although I KNOW it is not true. Social conditioning.

I started walking. Some men were hanging about the street corners – I promptly took out my phone and pretended to text. Apparently, texting was very important to me. So important that I couldn’t even be bothered to look at the road.

I looked quickly when I didn’t hear the sound of men and in my head, I went “I shouldn’t have to do this. I shouldn’t have to do this”.

A few fringes of hair fell over my eyes and in my head, I went “Should I comb my fingers through the hair? But, wait! Will that be thought of as me giving some unspoken signal to them? Better not to do anything at all”. I ignored the hair over my eyes.

I walked and in my head, I went “OK, how am I walking? Is my butt sticking out too much? Are my breasts jutting out a lot? Do I look like I’m trying to be sexy?

There was a man in front of me who was a real slow walker and in my head, I went “Oh My God! I have to go FAST! Should I walk by this guy? Will he grope me? Will he stare at my butt?”

And then, I told myself – “It does NOT matter. I have to walk fast, that’s it!”.

By this time, my heart was pounding frantically and adrenaline was rushing and I felt cold all over.

I pretended to text again, ignoring everyone who stared at me or commented.

Ignoring. Outwardly. Inside I’m like “OMG OMG I have to get home FAST!”

I walked on, hitting random buttons on my phone – keeping the light on. I’m totally a text addict y’know, so, like, what is going on in the streets doesn’t even bother me. Nope.

So, I’m walking and hoping nothing will happen to me today. I’m hoping, I’m hoping. I’m ignoring everyone – even the perverted stares of men old enough to be my father. By this time, I’m out of breath. I go to the shop and get the stuff – hoping none of the customers will try anything.

Now, I have to go home.

I ignore everyone – *texting* again.

Keep my eyes on the cell.

Thankfully, I don’t trip.

Right now, I’m kind of sweating, but not really, since there is a wind blowing.

I think, “These men behind me – I hope they don’t do anything”.

I think “These men in front of me – I hope they don’t try anything”.

I hope.

I hope.

Men, men – everywhere.

I see a woman.

Relief.

It passes – we both move on.

I’m in a totally *!#+ed up state of mind now.

I walk.

I walk as fast as I can.

I wish that I don’t have to go out anytime soon.I’m really close to my home now.

There is a man walking beside me – maybe of the age group 45-50 yrs. He is staring at me. Walking alongside and staring continuously. Not at me, but at my legs, my arms, my breasts, my thighs, my butt, my face.

He is doing it very obviously.

I feel like a cornered animal.

I glare back at him.

At first he seems surprised – maybe he wasn’t expecting me to acknowledge him.

I keep glaring until he averts his eyes – I mean, how DARE he look at me like that and NOT think I will call him out on it?

Indian culture?

I don’t know why I didn’t do that to the other guys.

Maybe it was really dark at that time. Maybe I’m in a familiar area now – close to my home. Maybe it is just one man now and it was a group earlier. Maybe after all that, it was simply beyond my endurance.

I walk ahead.

I see my house.

Relief.

I walk up the stairs.

I’m sweating now – its hot here.

I enter my home.

My heart is hammering. Adrenaline is flowing. I feel hot now. I’m sweating. I feel like I can run a 100 miles and not get tired. I want to run, to run.

I remind myself that I’ve reached home.

I wash my face.

I breathe deeply.

And, I dunno why, but I suddenly remember an incident.

I was 11 or 12 years old at the time. I was on the healthier side (which changed after I hit puberty) and my breasts were just developing.

I was out with my mother. Talking, laughing and walking. Suddenly, she went rigid and snapped back. I did not understand what was going on – what changed so suddenly.

My mother said “Watch how you walk. That policeman was staring there”, pointing with her eyes at my chest.

*

I do not always pretend to text. Sometimes, I pretend to call too.

It is really sad that I and plenty other women have to resort to such elaborate tricks and subterfuges only to feel a sense of security. And even then, we aren’t really safe, are we?

Because, like she said, it seems like every single thing she does (or doesn’t do) has the potential to be something “provocative”.

India might finally get proper laws against sexual harassment, instead of just “eve-teasing”.

An email from PT with a news to make you smile 🙂

The Ministry of Women and Child Development has prepared two Bills to protect children and women from sexual abuse and exploitation. These are the ‘The Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Bill, 2011’ and ‘The Protection of Women against Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill, 2010’.

Have a look at the news piece here:

http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/news/Bills-to-protect-Children-and-Women-from-Sexual-abuse-and-Exploitation-13747.asp

From the article:

“The objectives of the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Bill, 2011, are to protect children from offences of sexual assault, sexual harassment, pornography. It provides for establishment of Special Courts for trial of such offences keeping the best interest of the child as of paramount importance at every stage of the judicial process. The Bill also incorporates detailed child-friendly procedures for reporting and trial of cases.”

and:

“‘The Protection of Women against Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill, 2010’ provides protection to all women, irrespective of her age or employment status, whether in the organized or unorganized sectors, and covers a client, customer, apprentice, daily wage worker, student/research scholar and patient in a hospital. The Bill defines “sexual harassment at the workplace” in a comprehensive manner, in keeping with the definition laid down in the Vishaka judgment of Hon’ble Supreme Court, and broadens it further to cover the promise or threat to a woman’s employment prospects or creation of hostile work environment, which is equally detrimental to her equality rights. The Bill has also been reviewed by the Department related Parliamentary Standing Committee on Human Resource Development. The Committee presented its report on 8th December 2011. It has made wide ranging recommendations on various provisions of the Bill and has suggested that the Bill may be passed after incorporating their recommendations regarding title of the Bill, issue of gender neutrality, inclusion of domestic workers, definition of employer, sexual harassment, concept of victimisation and complaint of sexual harassment etc.”

Both of these have been long-awaited and at this time, it appears that both bills are all set to pass through the legislature without much trouble. The sexual harassment bill may be changed to be gender neutral.

Haven’t had the time to actually read through the bills yet, but I’ll do it when I get the time.

Hope this cheers you up a bit, yes? After all, India might finally get proper laws against sexual harassment, instead of just “eve-teasing”.

Links to the original bills:
Protection of children from Sexual Offences Bill, 2011:
The Protection of Women Against Sexual Harassment At Workplace Bill, 2010:
.
.
Thank You PT.

What goes on in the mind of an ‘Eve Teaser’?

Is it just disrespect for all women in general or also jealousy of any man who women seem to respect or prefer the company of?

And do all ‘eve teasers’ also try to control their sisters, daughters and wives, warning them against offending the sensibilities of men like themselves in public spaces? Like the man in this email, do they believe all public spaces belong to molesters?

1. On 20th October, six young people in Bombay, Andheri had dinner and stepped out for paan at 11 pm. A drunk man, Jitendra Rana, attempted to ‘eve tease’ (sexually harass) one of the women in the group, her boyfriend pushed this ‘eve teaser’ away. Rana left threatening to return. He returned with a violent mob of 13 men and stabbed Keenan Santos (24), Reuben Fernandez (29). [Link]

Santos, 24 died that night, and Rueben died this Monday.


2. On 15th February this year, Rajib Das, a class XI student was killed brutally while his 21 year old sister screamed for help, beating at the gates of an IAS officer’s house a 100 meters away.

Every night, either Rajib or his father would wait at Barasat station to take her home. Rajib was cycling his sister home, at Banikanthanagar 2 km away, when the gang stopped them… They wanted to douse his sister in liquor and take her away. Rajib would not let that happen.

Read more about Rajib Das here, and here.

The news was reported as, ‘Barasat eve-teasing case: prime accused nabbed” or “Eve-teasing: One arrested in Rajib Das’ killing“.

Was this a case of ‘Eve Teasing’? Calling it Eve-Teasing trivializes Sexual Harassment.

3. Hashiya from Tardeo was eight months pregnant, going for a sonography with her husband, when a group of men started harassing her. They molested the woman, attacked the man, some even using cricket bats!

“My husband was holding on to my shoulder to support me as I walked. The men began commenting snidely at what they perceived to be an obscene display of affection,” said Hashiya.

So they thought display of affection was obscene, and molesting was ‘decent’?

4. In Jan 2009, Muthalik claimed two consenting adults (unless same sex)  dancing and drinking (and generally being happy together) was obscene, he would probably support the molesters in Tardeo.

Pawan Shetty who fought back against these molesters in Mangalore, faced threats.

Is it possible for a decent man, who respects women (including those in his own family, his colleagues etc);  and is generally a law abiding citizen, to ‘eve tease’ or molest a woman?

Is stalking of girls and women illegal in India?

Videos like the one below undermine the seriousness of Sexual Harassment  This video is almost like wishful thinking, a quick, easy solution to a problem nobody seems to take seriously.

‘Calling it ‘eve teasing’ trivializes the act; it isn’t teasing, it’s harassment.

And sexual harassment on the street is a gateway crime that creates a cultural environment which makes gender-based violence OK.’

Young girls in many parts of India are taken out of school once they reach puberty because of Street Sexual Harassment [link-1 , link-2]. Girls are known to commit suicide because of such harassment.

The High Court of Bangladesh declared on 26 January, 2011 stalking of girls and women illegal, and directed the government to consider the offence as sexual harassment instead of the term Eve Teasing. The court’s ruling came amid growing incidences of stalking that led many victims to commit suicide.

Is stalking of girls and women illegal in India?

“There exists a legal framework to reproach sexual harassment and abuse in the home and at work, but when it comes to the streets—all bets are off.

It is ‘culturally accepted as ‘the price you pay’ for being a woman and living in a city.’

The explosion of technology in India via the mobile phone and the Internet has given us an unprecedented opportunity to end street harassment...

Hollaback is a global movement dedicated to ending street harassment. Hollaback Mumbai says,

Share Your Story

If you feel like you have been harassed, we want to hear about it.  Tell us your story. Or send us a drawing, a picture, a poem, a song, a picture of a piece of string that you tied into several knots because you were so frustrated. We are working on SMS capabilities so that you can SMS us when you have been harassed.

Visit www.mumbai.ihollaback.org for more details.

Related Posts:

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work

The night I was not an easy prey

Provocatively Dressed

To Moral Brigade(s) and their Supporters,
We should know that frivolous terms like Provocative Dressing might make a sexual assaulter feel that the responsibility of preventing sexual assaults lies with the victim.

Violent men are helpless victims of provocation?
Saying women must not dress provocatively makes us sound like Taliban. (Now we wouldn’t want that?)
We also need to keep in mind that we are talking about adult citizens here, they have the right to vote, they can get a driving license, and they can even own property or start an independent business! And often do and very successfully too. (I understand that can make anybody painfully jealous, it does seem wrong that they should do so well despite the major hurdles their gender faces … but women these days are like that, give them a chance and they fly, reach the sky, and even the moon. Accept it.)

Your over enthusiasm and interest in her clothes might lead some to believe that you are looking at women more than you should be. (Most women consider such unwanted attentions very revolting; they might suspect your morals).
Your insistence on deciding the correct code of dressing here is against the law. (I am assuming most of you offenders and supporters have not been to school, so I am simplifying it for you.) Instead we need to ensure that men are guided very firmly about the acceptable code of their own conduct. They need to get it very clear that tight jeans and noodle straps are poor excuses for criminal acts against other equal (even if they are better qualified, they are only equal) citizens. We need to concentrate on providing a secure academic and emotional foundation to create a nation of women who do not hold themselves responsible for any and every atrocity committed against them. Your own mothers, daughters, sisters and wives also will benefit more from this (much more) than from being taught how to dress.
I know of thousands of women who have not benefited in anyway, when they were compelled to cover themselves from head to toe in traditional attire. Their families, specially their children have suffered because these mothers were often made too weak, by such controls, to stand up for them in all so many ways children need their mothers to….so it seems wearing traditional clothing does not automatically make you a better mother, sister, daughter, citizens, wife, woman etc.
Strong mothers and strong women make a strong nation.You think it is only about drinking in the Pub? The drinking in the Pub is just symbolic
(Just like PCC is). You understand symbols? Like bangles for weakness? Like Duryodhan and Duhshsan for … if only you had some education, it would have been simpler to explain. But let me try …When a nation overlooks an act of violence against it’s citizen only because they are women, they are not creating a very confident generation of women. Let me try and speak your language again, …these women are going to raise the future of this nation… Please let us stop treating them like they have no thinking capacity!

And this is a nation where women are anyway having difficulty even being born. We make it tougher for parents to have daughters, and for those daughters who are born to feel safe, let alone feel free.
Women (and men) need to be able to decide for themselves how they dress, what careers they choose, when and to whom, if at all, they marry or live with without marrying. Because we have hungry families, and unemployed men, and no drinking water, and houses which flood every monsoon.

Tomorrow you might find even a girl’s face, eyes, lips or feet provocative? How are you guys going to survive?

I think we need a stricter code of conduct for men like you here.You will benefit from gentlemanly behaviour and discipline. Women are now everywhere. And we will see them as bosses, better drivers, being able to afford better recreation … (I understand the surge of envy, but you really have to work harder, just being born a male is not really important any longer, at least in their circles…). Many of them come from families where success is more important than marriage and children are. (Yes I am aware that this is all too much to digest, it seems these women come from a different planet, well in a way they do.) Many are happily married with children, oh yes and their husbands are aware that they drink, and talk to men in their office and also outside but no, they don’t drag them by their hair for that … (You ask, ‘Why not?’. Let’s just say, self confidence does that to men. And women too. You won’t understand …)

The world has changed too much while you were worrying about which caste or religion or language or region was being victimised.
But it’s never too late. You just need to understand that they are your equal. No matter how much better they earn, what fancy cars they drive, how much more fun they seem to have, how much better they look … they are only your equals.

As for their clothes, for all you know there is probably a future scientist behind that Rakhi-Sawant-dress-alike.

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3. What do ‘modest’ women have that their ‘immodest’ sisters don’t?

4. She does not ‘ask for it’.