Please watch ‘Tanu Weds Manu Returns’ :)

The movie passes Bechdel Test with flying colours. The Kanpur accent and Kangana Ranaut’s Haryana accent, the music, the story, the way it ends, and everything else about the movie are absolutely delightful.

And while we are laughing hysterically, the movie conveys –

A woman smiling, laughing, talking, taking a ride or drinking or dancing with a man – may or may not be in love with him.

That self reliance gives confidence.

That courage, confidence, maturity and just plain common sense are not dependent on the language ones speaks or the accent or grammar (etc).

That men grow up and old too.

Men have ‘marital status’ too – even if it not talked about in Indian movies, and is not socially required to be displayed.

Men don’t hate getting married – despite all the shaadi ke laddu jokes one hears about. Men even have ‘marriageable age’ – though one doesn’t hear much about such social pressures. The movie makes references to men’s ages, like the ’35 and desperate to get married’ and 40th birthday shirt.

Men are also advised to Get Married and Stay Married. But instead of praying or fasting, men are offered the option of trying violence as an outlet if the situation gets unbearable Рlike breaking tube lights in their living rooms.

That the Khaps are fools.

It’s a problem that men’s manliness depends on their Sperm Count.

Men gain weight too.

Tanu does many things that generally only men are permitted to do

1. Complains that she finds her spouse boring and demands that she be pleased.

2. Goes out and has fun with old friends although she is married and loves her husband. She also calls her best friend her soulmate.

3. Meets visitors wearing a towel.

4. Drinks.

5. Gets away with being unreasonable. [Disagree?]

Lastly I think Kangana Ranaut is the Amitabh Bhachchan or Madhuri Dixit of today – only better.

Do’t believe me? Take a look ūüôā

Many of us are going to watch this movie more than once.

Four other recent movies that passed Bechdel Test. 

Margarita with a straw.

Piku

Dum Laga Ke Haisha

Queen

I am optimistic that the success of these movies means that we will continue to see more such works of art.

Related Posts:

Piku in Patriarchy.

Please watch Dum Laga Ke Haisha ‚Äď where a man is asked to Please adjust and save his¬†marriage.

Please watch Queen. Feels like our country is finally changing.

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Why is it misogynistic to promise wives from Bihar to Haryana men who are not able to find wives?

Why is it misogynistic to promise wives from Bihar to Haryana men who are not able to find wives because of the skewed gender ratio in their state?

1. It implies that the biggest problem with the skewed gender ratio in Haryana is the men who are not able to find wives.

2. It implies that bringing wives from Bihar is the answer to the unwillingness of Haryana families/communities to have and to raise daughters.

3. It implies that we can continue to pretend that skewed gender ratio is caused because of Dowry demands alone and can be controlled by banning Sex Selection.

It lets us continue to not-ask¬†– ¬†Why don’t the people of Haryana (India) want to have and to raise daughters?¬†Why does our society see daughters as unwanted burdens? Answers here.

4.¬†But most of all – what about the women they are ‘bringing’?

Do these women have the option of choosing to marry men from elsewhere, or not marrying at all? Do these women feel entitled to freedom, equality, justice, reasonable safety, self reliance and equal opportunities?

How does providing single men with wives from other states help/affect the skewed gender ratio in Haryana?

Why ‘bring’ innocent women into a dangerous, misogynistic, sexist society, where, if they were born there, they would possibly have been killed in the womb or a little later?

Also, where, they would never be as powerful, entitled, self reliant, free, happy or fairly treated as the men are?

So what can be done for these young, unmarried men in Haryana? 

They are adults and they need to be informed that women are people, they are not born to be future-wives for men. That the men are not entitled to ‘wives’.

They should be encouraged to find out, question and challenge the Patriarchal norms that have lead to this unwillingness by an entire society to have girl children.

Maybe they will find out for themselves that banning sex selective abortions is not the answer because –¬†

But maybe they will not. Because they are being seen as victims and being ‘promised’ wives.

 

“…those youths in many villages who are roaming without brides will get one.”

Addressing a Kisan Mahasammelan (farmers’ meeting) at Narwana in Jind on Friday, Dhankar asked the gathering to strengthen the hands of BJP in the state, saying, “Making BJP strong also means that those youths in many villages who are roaming without brides will get one.”
Dhankar, who is BJP Kisan Morcha president and had lost the Lok Sabha polls to Congress’ Deepinder Hooda from Rohtak, said when he was touring the constituency, he used to hear tales that some youths were bringing brides from Bihar and other places.

“I told them that Sushil Modi (senior BJP leader in Bihar) is a good friend of mine. We will ensure a compatible match and do away with the practice of bringing brides from any other place,” he said.

Related Posts: 

Skewed sex ratio is not caused by sex selective abortions.

So what could make even the average, selfish, money-minded Indian family welcome baby girls?

How illegal bans on Valentine’s day and birthday parties are connected with dowry deaths and sex selection.

India leads in sexual violence, worst on gender equality: Study

Response to ‚ÄúKoi Baap Apni Beti Ko Kab Jaane Se Rok Paya¬†Hai‚ÄĚ

Can we blame everything on patriarchy?

An email: If I am around people who think that having or giving birth to sons is everything in life how should I behave?

Do you think this video can make Indian parents want to have daughters?

‚ÄėI have grown up and gotten used to the fact that my parents are considered less fortunate since they did not have a¬†son.‚Äô

‚ÄúI don‚Äôt see the point of forcing parents to give birth to unwanted girl children.‚ÄĚ

Satyamev Jayate: Thoughts on a jewelry ad and Desperate Grooms.

It’s understandable that ‘Satyamev Jayate’ would probably say only as much as the audience is willing to hear and hence may not discuss exactly why Indian parents want to avoid having daughters.

I think it’s a good idea to stress more on the positives.

Maybe India needs to hear more about a girl buying her own jewelery or laptops, or property or IPL teams, and more about marriage not being about jewelery (and dowry) and perhaps we need to be more tactful when we speak against  little girls being brain washed to see Getting Married-Staying Married as their only goal in life?

Maybe we need to learn to convey that Indian parents should raise their daughters as their own children and not as future daughters in law without hurting patriarchal sentiments?

But this jewelry ad I think is anti-girl-child by any standards ūüė¶¬† Do you agree?

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And then, Satyamev Jayate brought to mind these recent cases – I hadn’t noticed before how these kind of cases seem to be becoming more and more common.

Desperate Grooms in Haryana and Rajasthan.

1. Skewed sex ratio in the northern state of Haryana is forcing men of the marriageable age to scout for brides from other states, including Bihar and far-off Kerala.

2. Baby Falak would have lived if it wasn’t for India’s skewed sex ratio.

“Delhi police have nabbed two women who sold 22-year-old Munni, the biological mother of baby Falak, to a ‚Äúdesperate groom‚ÄĚ in Rajasthan for a price and forced the young mother to leave her three children behind.” [From here.]

Munni had been given the reassurance she would be able to persuade her ‘husband’ to allow her three children to live with them.

Dharam Ram, father of Munni’s second husband, Harpal Singh¬†says, “Besides my son who married Munni, one of his nephews too married a woman who was brought to us by an agent. We have spent Rs 2.7 lakh on the two women,”[Link]

3. Seema Parihar from MP is a widow with two children, she was sold to Kalli Meena of Kaseda village in Karauli district for Rs 60,000 [link]

In Kaseda, villagers stopped policemen and asked them to retreat. They argued that¬†Seema Parihar was purchased and now belonged to their caste and village. They were violent and the local police could not help,” SP said.

The villagers were so violent, our team decided to come back without the woman. However, it is now verified that the woman was kidnapped, sold and is now being held captive. It is a clear case of human trafficking. So far a case of kidnapping under section 366 was registered against the mediators but now the case will be of human trafficking. We have got in touch with the Rajasthan police and are stressing on a joint operation with them to rescue the woman.” [Madhya Pradesh widow sold to village in Rajasthan]

4. K’taka women sold to men from Rajasthan

Hubli, Feb. 5: A shortage of brides in Rajasthan and other northern states where female foeticide is reportedly rampant, is fuelling a racket in which women are allegedly sold to the highest bidder by middlemen operating from north Karnataka.

Deputy superintendent of police A B Basari admits that a systematic network of agents, which functions like a marriage bureau in the district, is giving the police cause for concern. ‚ÄúWe have visited Rajasthan and other states several times to bring back these poor girls. While we have found several of them living happily with their husbands, we will deal with the cases where the girls are ill -treated. Some men have been forced to take their wives back after being put in jail for months,‚ÄĚ he says.

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Related Posts:

Four kinds of marriages in modern India. Which ones would you ban?

Only when raising ideal daughters in law is not their goal, would Indian parents be able enjoy having and bringing up girl children.

So what could make even the average, selfish, money-minded Indian family welcome baby girls?