“As long as the men do not understand that they CANNOT and WILL NOT get away with such behavior and criminal acts, the rape culture will not go away”

A couple of thoughts shared by Anon Girl.

Hi IHM,

I recently saw this BBC documentary on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENNi8Kk0ags (India – A dangerous place to be a woman).

Of course, most of it is to show the rest of the world the culture of sexual violence that most women living in or visiting India are already all too familiar with.

What was interesting though was how the BBC subject reports a 6-month old molestation incident that she herself went through to the Delhi police. As I watch her go inside the police station with her girl friend without the cameras, I was actually afraid for her. I thought she will be either dismissed, mocked or, worst case, be molested by the police itself. Surprise, surprise…the police actually investigates the crime, encourages her to file a report and arrests the criminal. She then appears at court proceedings where a female judge affirms that he will be face severe punishment. Several reasons are given for Delhi police’s shockingly appropriate behavior that she is a foreigner, the recent public pressure on the police, etc. But I believe there is one take away from all this – despite the hurdles that any of us face when we are “eve-teased”, harassed, groped or molested….we all need to make it a point to officially register a complaint, and/or outspokenly condemn such behavior on social media and blogs (a woman actually found her attacker’s facebook account and posted for all to see about what he had done). As long as the men do not understand that they CANNOT and WILL NOT get away with such behavior and criminal acts, the rape culture will not go away. Also, the sheer number of complaints will show that we reject the victim-blaming attitude and will pressure the society into changing their norms. The Indian jails might be more populated than ever though!

I love reading the comments on your blogs – it actually has helped me to be mindful of and question all the “trivial” and “everyday” things that Indian women are expected to do – to shower or not to shower, to wash your husband’s inner wear or not, to stay quiet when someone touches, grabs, or violates your body and well being or not.

Good luck and keep going!

Related Posts:

It’s Your Fault

Study finds 98% of India rape victims knew their attacker.

“The foreign tourists that come here must inform the police of their activities”

“I will not sit back and allow the image of India’s men to be tarnished by an article that does not articulate other sides to India.”

Controlling crimes against women: What works, what doesn’t work.

This is what rapists do when there is no fear of punishment.

How Victim Blaming confuses rapists, police and the society about when exactly does non-consensual-sex becomes a crime.

The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.

So how does Delhi – NCR Police define Rape?

It doesn’t look like SHO Sunil Kumar, Ghazipur sees forced sex as rape.

“Go to a pub in South Delhi. Go to Greater Kailash where there is free entry for girls. Jinhone 1,000 rupaiye mein wo karna hai wo wahan jati hain. Daru bhi peeti hai aur aap ke saath sex bhi karti hai… Jis din koi thok dega rape ho jayega. (In these places you’ll find girls who want to do ‘it’ for Rs. 1,000. They will drink and also have sex with you. The day somebody uses force, it becomes rape).”

Some in the Police seem to see getting aggressive as a normal reaction to finding a woman sexually attractive.

Ladkiya ek seemit daire main, seemit kapdon main nahi niklengi… to apne aap khichaon ho jata hai. Wo khichaon bhi aggressive kar deta hai ki kar do bas (Sub-Inspector Arjun Singh, SHO Surajpur Police Station, Greater Noida)

The police seems to see 18-20 year old gang-rapists as ‘kids’ and sharing of phone number as consent to be raped.

SHO Jagdish Prasad said: “In the recent DLF case, the girl is 27-years-old, the boys are 18 to 20-years-old. They are kids. She was dancing with these kids in the bar… I am telling you she induced them… the girl came and gave her phone number to them.”

Atleast some in Delhi Police clearly and unbelievably see rape as a normal act and reporting of rapes as a proof of malintent.

“It’s never easy for the victim. Everyone is scared of humiliation. Everyone’s wary of media and society. In reality, the ones who complain are only those who have turned rape into a business.” (Yogender Singh Tomar, Additional SHO, Sector 39, Noida)

What is he trying to say here? That consensual sex with one man is consent to be gang raped by others?

It’s very rare that a girl is forcefully picked up by 10 boys. A girl who gets into a car with boys is never innocent. If she does, she definitely has a relationship with at least one of them.

And here’s one that I could not understand –

Roop Lal of Sector 40, Gurgaon, sought to find a rationale to the occurrence of gang-rape: “Jaise hum log baithe hai, zyaada daaru pee li. Chalte peeli. B********, phekh saala, phir to aise hi hoga. Raat bhar rakh li. Uska jawab kya degi wo apne gharwalon ko, ki jo ek ghante ke liye keh kar gayi hai, aur poori night main kahan gayi thi. To maa-baap to poochenge, bhai bhi poochega. Jinka samaaj hai woh to poochte hai (Say we are sitting and had one drink too many while on the move… it’s obvious that it’ll happen. Keep her for the entire night. What will she tell her parents? She was supposed to be away for an hour and has ended up being out the entire night. Parents will question, so will her brother. Society will ask questions.”

What is he trying to say?

Is there any doubt that the Delhi-NCR Police has no understanding of sexual crimes?

Please read the article, and there is nothing really new here, but it’s horrifying, and it shows exactly why Delhi-NCR stays unsafe for women and their families – In and around Delhi, cops blame rapes on women: Tehelka investigation with NDTV.

Thanks for sharing the link Oasis Greenday.

Related Posts:

Made me think… – Celestial Rays