Or rather: What advice would you give to a woman who fears her husband might beat her if she does not give him lunch on time?
Do you think men who stab or burn their wives are non violent men who are provoked into violence by a delayed meal (or a second baby daughter)? So if the meal was served on time, would the woman have remained safe?
I also wonder if a male child could generally add to a woman’s worth, and hence her confidence, and make her comparatively safer? Do we have statistics that confirm that mothers of male children face less abuse by spouse and his parents?
In most such murders, it seems, the man has a history of violence and the wife has learnt that he is dangerous. But the cultural requirement to ‘Get Married Stay Married or Die Trying’ forces the wife back to continue living with a potential, brutal killer.
It also seems, many women first refuse to go back and then sense that staying away from the husband brings social disapproval for them and their entire families.
Do you think Human Rights for women (and everybody else) should include the Right to opportunities for Self Reliance (emotional and otherwise)? And the Right to be informed about Intimate Partner Abuse in school/via media?
We hear so much about staying safe from ‘eve teasers’ but almost nothing about intimate partner abuse. Maybe because domestic violence is not taken seriously, and it is assumed that a good Indian girl would manage to avoid being beaten.
Most Indians don’t see domestic violence as a crime, or even as wrong. There is almost no information available to the victims and those who care for them. Most parents of women in violent marriages seem to sincerely believe that it’s possible to ‘change’ (by ‘winning his heart’) a violent, manipulative and abusive man.
Do you think these two young lives could have been saved? Manju was 20, Sarla, 26.
Updated to add: These two horrifying, but very ‘everyday news’ links shared by Kavya.
NOIDA: Enraged with his wife consecutively giving birth to two daughters, an employee of a city-based export house allegedly strangled her and smothered their two girls, 2 years and six months old. Their bodies were found on Monday morning in the family’s house in Bhangel in Phase II. While the man has gone missing, police have arrested his father and two brothers.
“Amit used to physically abuse my daughter ever since they got married three years ago. He got more violent after a daughter was born for the second time,” said Sarla’s father Jagbeer. About two weeks ago, we brought Sarla with us because of the alleged domestic violence she had to face. She however returned to Amit’s house after his family assured her safety, he said.
2. And another,
Manju (20) was preparing lunch for the family when her husband Gautam (25) came into the kitchen and asked for food. Manju told him to wait until she finished cooking. An angry Gautam abused Manju and started hitting her. When she argued and fought back, he picked up a kitchen knife and stabbed her a few times on the neck and abdomen.
Seeing Manju fall on the ground bleeding, Gautam came to his senses and dragged her body to the first floor balcony. He prepared to throw it down to make it look like a suicide. By this time, neighbours had gathered hearing Manju’s calls for help. They raised an alarm and one of them entered his flat and got hold of him.
Another newspaper reports,
“Neighbours claimed that on Monday night too, they heard screams from the house. The couple always fought on petty issues, they said,” the officer added. A case of murder has been registered at Seemapuri police station. [link]
Screams from a house indicate a couple fighting over petty issues?
Why does violence stop being a crime just because the victim has been ‘married off’ to the assailant?
If you had to to say something to inspire a victim of domestic violence to walk out, what would you say?
Is child murder their first crime or do they have a history of violence?
India leads in sexual violence, worst on gender equality: Study
“I always wanted my mom to get out of her marriage. I still believe she shud have.”
The father threw the baby on the ground and tried to strangle her with his legs: No case registered.
Some problems seem to have no solutions…
When a daughter refuses to go back…
An email: “But my parents, fearing the society and their reputation begged him to take me back.”
Are Happily Married Daughters a status symbol in India?
The interference of parents in the married life of their daughters…