Tejaswee Rao Blogging Awards – I

Tejaswee Rao Blogging Awards 2011 – I

I would like to convey my gratitude to all the judges for their patience and all the reading and all the exchanges of emails, and also a huge thanks to all those who helped with ‘tie breaking’.

I loved what a commenter said about sitting with a cup of tea and going through the posts in the list below. Do that 🙂 Some of the posts will make you smile, some might appall you even as you smile (well…), some remind you that live and let live applies to immediate family too. Even to our daughters. But also, some will remind that change begins at home, with the way we raise our sons (Feminist sons). Nearly all of them catch your interest from the first line, and those few that don’t, still read them, there is something to be got from each one of these posts.

The initial plan was to choose around two posts in each category, but it became very difficult to choose just two. Please do help with that, I would love to hear which posts you liked and why.

What kind of posts make you think (or rethink)?

Do you like long posts? (Or don’t?)

Do you prefer personal stories?

How do you like statistics? (Is it ‘all just statistics’ or ‘everybody needs to read these statistics‘?)

How do you like sarcasm? And humor? Do you object to irreverence?

Which posts would you have chosen if you were one of the judges? (What we like or dislike says a lot about us...)

And finally here’s the first list of winners of Tejaswee Rao Blogging Awards Badge (Thanks once again for the badge Suranga!)

1. Female Feticide and Infanticide

The Pandas are Dying.– Gounder Brownie

The bad effects of too few women – Nita

2. Girl-children/ Daughters

Please do try to choose two 🙂

The feminist’s mother – Celestial Rays

Sons, anyone? – Rs Mom

Lessons From Sania Mirza Fiasco: Tips To Raise A Daughter – Giribala

Growing up female – Alankrita

3. Teenage issues and Sex education

Indian youth get their knowledge of sex mostly from friends, porno films and “self-reading”… Nita

Teenage Sex on the sly. Nita

When parents and teachers become the police – Meera Sundararajan

4. ‘Aww’- inspiring parenting moments.

The unseen scars – Celestial Rays

Little minds, big questions. – Suranga Date

5. Parenting.

Desi Parenting: Raising confused daughters – Desi Girl

Your Son today – My Husband Forever – SuKupedia

Sensitivity is Awareness : Are we ready for change? – Tikuli

5. Senior Citizens

Nuclear families/Elder care and such matters – RS

Pension Sarees and Security Blankets – Suranga

6. Indian Culture and Moral Policing

Please choose two 🙄

The war for women. – Neo Indian

Why does a woman need a man? – Usha

The culture vultures hate pre-marital sex – Nita

What’s your culture? – Suranga Date

7. What’s in a woman’s name?

The story of Alu and Gobhi. – Chandni

What’s in a name? – Khushi

The judges also loved,

An eternal S-walk….. – Suranga Date

Someone get me a gun – Chandni

8. Gender Stereotypes

Boys don’t cry. – Starry Eyed

Where Angels Fear to Tread – Gounder Brownie

The judges also loved,

The feminine side – Liberal Cynic

What Women Want: No, I’m Not Telling You. – Unmana

9. Mythology, traditions, religion and how they interpret women’s place in society

Draupadi – Episode 10 – Manasa

Women of the world rise it is time to invent a new God(s). – Desi Girl

Diwali – Celebrating the return of goddess Sita – Giribala

10. Sexists language, jokes and mindset

Of Virtue and Virility – Meera Sundararajan

Where you insult man by insulting all women – Shail

Outraging modesty – Usha

11. Books, Ads, TV, Movies…

Girlz – Gounder Brownie

All it takes to be a doormat, eat Kellogg’s! – Kiran Manral

Indian television and women – Amodini

Congratulations all 🙂


Two more categories added.

Added on Sept 6th (Thanks Unmana)

36. Women and finances.

37. What’s in a woman’s name?

Now there are 37 categories.

Please click here to read the complete list of categories for Tejaswee Rao Blogging Awards.

Please bear with frequent updates, I am trying to avoid leaving out any categories which might be relevant.


Tejaswee Rao Scholarship and Blogging Awards.

We visited Tejaswee’s college and discussed and decided upon various ways in which we could start a Scholarship in her name. The option I like requires depositing a lump sum amount (Capital) and the interest from that amount provides Scholarships, and if we choose,  Hostel fees, PG expenses, Books, Field Trips etc to one or more students.  Also, we can continue to add to this amount if we wish to (like on her birthdays). This makes me wonder if we should continue with the registering of the Trust I have mentioned earlier. A Trust requires some legal knowledge, annual auditing etc, though it also enables other people to contribute. We need to think about this now.

Her favorite teacher said the selection of the recipients for the scholarship, “should not be based purely on academic performance… Tejaswee was brilliant and  creative, she really cared, she was compassionate, confident and she was involved, aware and opinionated, she was so full of life… ” She couldn’t go on. I understand now what they mean when they say ‘tears are a tribute we pay to the memory of those we love‘ …Every time I meet someone Tejaswee looked up to or cared for, I can’t help but notice how well she chose who she liked…

They helped us identify one student, a class mate, who will receive Tejaswee Rao Scholarship this year. I remember Tejaswee speaking fondly  of her. The college suggested we meet the child and I think we would love that. This is a positive beginning.

Her college also held this contest.

I have decided to do something similar on this blog. I had planned to use the Blogscars 2010 as a means to create a collection of links to posts related to the issues this blog deals with (Girl Child, gender bias, intolerance etc) and to recognize those which really can make a difference… I will be announcing the Blogscars soon. I would like to dedicate the Blogscars to my daughter Tejaswee with Cash Prizes and Certificates to be won…  Your suggestions are welcome.

I have created a blog – a Support Group for Coping with Grief and Loss, it can be found here.

Three things I like about me.

Tikuli of Spinning a yarn of life and Kiran of 36 and counting passed me the Cherry on Top Award 🙂

The award comes with  a set of unbend-able Rules 🙂
1. Thank the person that gave this to you
2. Copy the award and put it on your blog.
3. List 3 things you love about yourself
4. Post a picture you love (e.g a person you adore etc.)
5. Tag 5 people you wish to pass this award on to


1. Thank You Tikuli and Kiran  🙂

2. Copied and pasted the hearts, polka dots and cherry badge…

3.Three things I like about myself…

i.)  I find it very easy to be happy… a chilled glass of Rooh Afzah milk, a blackened face in the morning newspaper 😉 or sighting of a Kingfisher or Large Green Barbet can make my day 😆

ii.) I don’t loose my temper easily. The last time I remember feeling really very angry was when I heard a college Principal defend (and hence encourage) perpetrators of street sexual harassment by claiming girls  who wore jeans provoked them.

iii)  Unlike some students in AMU, I know I would never give myself the right to interfere in other people’s personal lives.

4. Sharing a picture I received in an email… with a question, ‘A JKG? :P’

Not sure if he qualifies for the Joru Ka Gulaam Badge, but I know I admire those who can multitask 🙂

(The image is linked to the original site)

And I would like to tag…  LOL, I love this part!

The first five people who read/or comment on this post – consider yourself tagged!  😈

And the Prestigious Yellow Polka Dotted Cup goes to…

…to each one of those who could see what was right there in front of your eyes 🙂

And to all those who saw err well, those who saw … for all those imaginative souls, a very special badge!!

And here’s a close up what the tree caught 🙂

Does it really look like an ear bud?

All the comments published!!! Take a look at how imaginative we can get 😉  😈


How to make a list of all your posts published this year.

Help your readers nominate their favourite posts on your blog for The Avant Garde Bloggies Awards 2009 🙂 Make a list of your posts published this year. The last date for sending nominations is 20th Dec, 10 pm IST 😯  So hurry up!

I created a list using Archives Shortcode, this is how it looks. [click]

To create this archives list, simply type the code below without the dots on a Post/Page on your WordPress blog 🙂

Fill in the number of posts you have written this year in place of 420. Don’t forget to delete the dots!

[.archives. limit.=420.]

(Replace 420 with the number of posts you’d like to be displayed.)

This is what I got when I replaced 420 with 5. (And removed the dots)

For more examples click here 🙂

JKG Badges! :)

Along with a new definition for Joru Ka Gulam [click] we had also requested for contributions for  the JKG Badge Contest [click]. We received nine entries. JKG Kislay, our Honor’ble Judge had no hope for mutton biryani (or any bribe in any other form) because we went out of our way to hide all the names from him (except one).

So please treat him now!!

And please don’t forget to mention which one is your favorite and most suitable for Reader’s Choice Award.


By Aritra Chatterjee 🙂


This badge created by Aritra Chatterjee has been chosen by our honor’ble judge, HRE JKG Kislay Chandra, as the ‘Official JKG Badge’.


By Freya.


JKG Kislay also loved this badge and declared it the second official JKG Badge.


This badge by Solilo Don is his third choice 🙂

Hot Rotisjkg

When a man says “I make hot rotis for my wife.”, he might find himself being called a Joru Ka Gulam.


By Freya again 🙂

Iheartbeingajkg1This is the coolest looking badge for a sidebar!!


By Homecooked.


Homecooked created this cute looking badge. Traditionally any man who shows affection to his wife is labelled a Joru Ka Gulam.


By Vikas Gupta.

Is chosen by JKG Kislay for


JKG Vikas Gupta II Vikas’s Entry Number 3 touches upon the expectation that a woman must change her surname to her husband’s when she is married A man is not expected to make any changes to his name though. Any man who does not insist upon this surname changing (sometimes even the first name is changed) risks being labelled a Joru Ka Gulam.


This one is by Freya, thank you for calling him JKG-IN-CHIEF Freya 🙂

SRK JKG in chief

He’s extremely popular amongst women, not just because he is considered hot but because he has changed the way Bollywood husbands spoke of their wives i.e. NEVER!

SRK is not a super star for nothing. He is a feminist and  he is not apologetic about it. I have blogged about this here and here.


This badge by Freya emphasises the belief we have that some chores are too lowly for men (so women should do them).

doingdishesfavthingjkgIt’s often the mothers and even wives who object to men doing these chores. So if a man says he doesn’t mind doing the dishes, there’s horror and embarrassment for the wife, “Did she actually let him do the dishes!!!”

When he says he loves doing the dishes?

… scandal.


This badge is also created by Freya … thank you for your contributions Freya!


It’s expected of women to be devoted and ‘obedient’ to their husbands, if a man as much as shows affection he is declared henpecked. The best answer to any such labelling is to wear it with pride.

Which one did you like the best?! Please choose which badge deserves the Reader’s Choice Award!

Finally Joru Ka Gulam Redefined.

In India it takes a lot of guts for a man to take a stand against customs that oppress women. It’s worst if he is fighting in support of his wife (Joru)! All such acts of courage are rewarded by taunting and labelling them ‘JKGs = Joru Ka Gulam’. Literal meaning: ‘Slave of Wife’.

In JORU KA GULAM Contest we asked for a new definition for a Joru Ka Gulam, (who in reality is a man who dares to fight against gender injustice).

There were14 entries [Read them here] and the winners have been chosen by voting.

And the winners are…


Entry Number 5 by Tearsndreams got an overwhelming support from women. 11 votes for first place came entirely from women voters. 7 votes for second place came both from men and women.

I think this is the kind of man women admire. Guys please take note 😆


Today an unmarried man be a JKG too.

Entry Number 1 by Sakshi got 8 votes – the 26 JKGs in this post made many young voters proud and emotional. The courage of each one of them is an inspiration for the young Indian male today.


Entry Number 3 by Vikas Gupta, I disagree when he suggests,

“In the slavery of his woman lies his freedom, emancipation and salvation.”

“..is often tied to his wife’s apron strings and not to his mother’s.”

“He loves what she loves and dislikes what she hates.”

But it seems many young men agree with him! This entry got 7 votes, and many of these came from young, unmarried men, including one that chose only one entry.

And finally Hitchwriter (Entry Number 4), Indy‘s husband (Entry Number 11) and Sakshi’s 26 cousins (Entry Number 1) are being declared JKGs!  😆

Their gorgeous, prize winning badges follow in the next post!

Here are some other opinions, guys be brave there’s some criticism too.

“Two contenders for 1st position- 10th and 9th entries.
Definition given by 10th is precise, to the point and bang on. 9th comes very close to this one. They talk of being fair, logical and rational. Having guts to stand up for, encourage and appreciate the wife besides helping and taking care of her. So these two are winning entries according to me.


2nd best is 4th entry.
… this definition is great because it talks about equality, accepting and apologizing for mistakes.”


Please permit a non Indian to take part in this contest.
Years ago, in London, I visited an exhibition named  “You ‘ ve come a long way, baby”. It was dedicated to the emancipation of women in the U.K, to their efforts for suffrage etc.I think that your blog deserves this title.
Indian women-as all women- deserve recognition, respect, right to higher education, right to self determination, to independence. I suppose Indian society is ready accept this kind of woman, who can live with dignity either with her loving JKG or without him…


2nd: Entry no. 3
talks about the JKG being not only a tough guy but also the friend every woman needs. (Do they exist?)


Elaborations for JKG given by 13 are great…”


“1st : Entry no. 5.
For this entry talks about equality even when the woman has lost hopes. Kudos .”


“Entry no.8 because it sounds so genuine! So much said in so few a words..”


“III – Entry no.13- A true JKG is one who believes in challenging social conditions, believes in equality not just after marriage but who lives by them even before his marriage.”


Entry 14 makes a very valid point when she/he says – “So, I feel a JKG should be anyone who challenges the social conditioning he is brought up with.

That and the fact that the man stands up and supports his wife because he knows and acknowledges his wife is right and his parents are wrong.


“I just love entry no 5….beautiful words and thoughts. Isn’t this all we want in the man we love? I am not one of those who think if my husband does all the household chores he can be the best JKG. I would rather like JKG’s who can encourage their wives at every phase of life to do things they want and brim up their confidence.”


“My first choice is entry number 11 for the simple reason that its about a real person.”


“2 – Entry No. 11 (Totally epitomises my husband :)


1. Entry Number 3 “I strongly believe there is no match to this JKG :)


1. Entry Number 1. (i just loved it)


“My ranking would be entry 5, then 9 and then 11. And I may not be JKG today but I will be back one day to claim the gold,silver and the bronze.”


Position 1 – Entry 4 – ‘A JKG would be some one who would treat himself and his wife EQUALLY.’


“I would go for Entry – 10 for first place, because it is very general definition I agree with. The other entries were making rules for a man to be a JKG, which in my opinion is not right.”


I would go for Entry No 11 and 12 for the second place, because I like both of them equally. I don’t really consider anything for the third place.


“I had a hard time after reading all the entries, but I loved #3 the best. I think it covered a lot of relevant points I can relate to.”


“Entry No 2 is not in english….so i think you should translate…”


“I like almost all entries…still, competition is competition, one has to lose for the other to win (watching too many reality shows, esp. saregamapa!) 5, 12 and 4!”


12th entry is my choice for the second one :)
Loved the way it is written :) Very practical approach!


2, 6, 13 in that order(1, 2, and 3)”


“2nd – Entry No. 11. ( I kinda can relate to it..)

3rd – Entry No. 10 ( short and sweet )”


Position 1 – Entry 4 – ‘A JKG would be some one who would treat himself and his wife EQUALLY.’

Position 2 – Entry 1 – ‘So to me a JKG is one who is not scared to stand up and willing to break all religious customs – just to hear a bubbling joy bursting out through the phone, to see a smile on their beloved sister’s face and bear all the anger and brunt from a society who is conditioned to keep a woman away from choosing her own life’

Position 2 – Entry 14. I think it makes a lot of sense to me. Some one who can question the social conditioning that he is brought up with, is more likely to be a true liberal and a real respecter of women.

It was tough deciding, IHM. I really liked Entry No. 7 too.. If I had a 4th option – it would be 7..


My vote for Entry no. 3 . And who wrote it , please ?


I liked the Hindi lines. :) (Entry number 2)


Hmm… all the above entries were a little too unrealistic, in my opinion. You talk of women being “conditioned” since birth and the husband must make her overcome that conditioning. How about the guy? Even he has been “conditioned” since childhood. He also needs help to overcome that conditioning. Isn’t it?

I feel what is important is a man should understand a woman’s wants and needs. He should respect her decisions, even if he doesn’t always understand them.
(Like not wanting to change her surname). He may not like it(because of social conditioning) but, he accepts it.

It is a long processes of unlearning and relearning. A man can be a JKG when a woman stands up for herself. We can’t put the whole pressure on the man alone.


JKG Badges in the next post!!!

Joru Ka Ghulam (JKG) Contest


The Winners of the Joru Ka Ghulam (JKG) Award were announced in the Blogscar Ceremony. These bloggers fitted this description of a JKG,

“In India it takes a lot of guts for a man to take a stand against customs that oppress women. It’s worst if he is fighting in support of his wife (Joru)! All such acts of courage are rewarded by labeling him a JKG = Joru Ka Gulam. Literal meaning: ‘Slave of Wife’ ”  (Read about some JKGs here.)

But I realise a lot of people are unsure about what this definition of JKG stands for, hence these two contests.

Contest 1:

How would you define a JKG?

i.  Please do keep in mind that a JKG is not necessarily a married man. A young boy or a very old man can also be a JKG. Any man who stands up against Gender Inequality is a JKG.

I know this is not a very clear or good definition that is why this contest… 😆

ii.  Please leave your entries (definitions/captions) in the comments space.

iii.  All the entries will be published at the same time, only after Wednesday, 10th June, 2009.

iv.  You are welcome to submit as many entries as you please. 😆

v.  The winner will be chosen from short listed entries by polling and voting. Anyone can participate and submit their definitions of JKG and then they can vote as well. 🙂

Contest 2:

Best JKG Award Badge Contest

i. Our Judge for this contest is superblogger and JKG Kislay Chandra.  He thinks it would be great if the badge shows…

“What about this – A woman is doing something which is traditionally a man’s job… And the man is rooting for her , encouraging her.  And the bottom of the picture can say , “What a JKG” ! What say ?”

But this is just a guideline, feel free to create something entirely different! (Also as usual our judge is susceptible to bribing)

ii.  Send in your badges to indianhomemaker@gmail.com by 10th June 2009.

iii.  You may submit as many entries as you wish.

iv. Our err… sponsors also claim that they have never before prizes for the winners! (They have been known to lie …) 😆

I am being pressurized to add humour to this contest by the Blogosphere’s scariest Dons, Don Sol and Don Indie...   😈

See results here!!