“It was OK for her to say ‘no’ after saying ‘yes’? Saying ‘yes’ doesn’t mean a blanket sanction to any sexual activity.”

A Guest Post by Freebird.

I came across this other post: I Got Raped With My Consent. That Will Always Be The Most Horrible Memory Of My Life

I don’t think consensual sex which doesn’t involve any coercion should be treated as rape at any cost. So I find the statement ‘I said ‘yes’ but it was ’emotional rape” very contradictory.

But what I didn’t understand, and do find disturbing, is this:

In this story, why didn’t this girl ever realize that it was OK for her to say ‘no’after saying ‘yes’? Saying ‘yes’ doesn’t mean a blanket sanction to any sexual activity. It is perfectly right to set boundaries, or ask the other person to stop when she was getting uncomfortable. If he was hurting her and she was in pain, why isn’t it clear that she had every right to tell him to stop hurting her and not engage in things which were painful to her? And the moment this message is conveyed clearly and if he still carries on, it does becomes ‘rape’ (not an esoteric ’emotional rape’). Whether it can be proved or not is a different issue. That doesn’t change the fact that it is rape when the other person is violating your boundaries.

Related Posts:

“Even if the sexual intercourse was forceful it was not forcible and contrary to the wishes and consent of the deceased.”

Rapist said that coming from Afghanistan meant he didn’t understand what ‘consent’ was.

‘Madam so many rapes don’t happen in Germany coz girls don’t refuse to have sex.’

Making Marital Rape a legal offence is the fastest way to make it clear that Rape means forced sex, not lost Virginity or Honor.

Forced intercourse in marriage not rape: Delhi court

Forcible sex with wife doesn’t amount to marital rape: Court

“Girls should be married at 16, so that they don’t need to go elsewhere for their sexual needs. This way rapes will not occur.”

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The rapists often don’t see their actions as crimes, the police said, and don’t expect the victims to report them.

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Triya charitram, Purushasya bhagyam, Devo Na Janati, Kuto Manushya…

Making Marital Rape a legal offence is the fastest way to make it clear that Rape means forced sex.

‘The woman said she was inebriated when a co-worker took her to a room and raped her.’

So how does Delhi – NCR Police define Rape?

How Victim Blaming confuses rapists, police and the society.

When they don’t even understand crime… 

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“Even if the sexual intercourse was forceful it was not forcible and contrary to the wishes and consent of the deceased.”

This recent Delhi High Court judgment, contrary to how it was first reported [link] and shared on facebook – does not say that menopausal women cannot be raped.

In December 2010, the victim was found dead inside her house … along with an inebriated Achey Lal … The post-mortem of the victim revealed that she has sustained injuries on her vagina, and traces of alcohol were found on her, too. [link]

But it does point out that the deceased had consumed alcohol along with the accused and that the sexual act was forceful enough and was the cause of the death of the 65-70 year old.

Why was the accused acquitted?

1. It ‘has not been proved beyond reasonable doubt’ that sexual intercourse was without consent. (Because there were no injuries except around the vagina). – So, rape not confirmed.

2. The accused ‘neither had any intention nor knowledge that such a forceful act of sexual intercourse would cause the death of the deceased.‘ – So, not murder.

Read more at:

http://indiankanoon.org/doc/21362297/

 

Even if the sexual intercourse was forceful it was not forcible and contrary to the wishes and consent of the deceased.

In the present case the post-mortem report shows that the deceased had consumed alcohol and was subjected to sexual intercourse. The finding of the post-mortem Doctor is categorical that the aspiration of gastric contents was caused due to forceful sexual intercourse.

…. it is proved beyond reasonable doubt from the post- mortem report that the deceased had consumed alcohol and was subjected to sexual intercourse. Achey Lal even if held guilty for causing the offence of Section 376 IPC cannot be held guilty for offence under Section 302 IPC as he neither had any intention nor knowledge that such a forceful act of sexual intercourse would cause the death of the deceased. Consequently he is acquitted for the offence punishable under Section 302 IPC.

9. As regards the offence punishable under Section 376 IPC the deceased was aged around 65-70 years, thus beyond the age of menopause. We find force in the contention of the learned counsel for the appellant that even if the sexual intercourse was forceful it was not forcible and contrary to the wishes and consent of the deceased. From the MLC of Achey Lal and the post-mortem of the deceased it is evident that both Achey Lal and deceased had consumed alcohol. The forceful penetration is evident from the injuries on the vaginal orifices. However, besides the injuries on the vagina there is no other injury mark on the body of the deceased or on the appellant to show that there was any protest by the deceased. Hence we are of the opinion that it has not been proved beyond reasonable doubt that the appellant committed sexual intercourse with the deceased contrary to her wishes or her consent. Consequently the appellant is also acquitted of the charges under Section 376 IPC. The impugned judgment of conviction and order on sentence are set aside.

Another link:  Delhi HC didn’t say menopausal women can’t be raped: Here’s what it really said

Other cases where sexual assault victims had consumed alcohol: 

When a crime is a punishment or a lesson taught to the victim.

‘The woman said she was inebriated when a co-worker took her to a room and raped her.’

Rapist said that coming from Afghanistan meant he didn’t understand what ‘consent’ was.