Contact Me

To contact please send an email to, indianhomemaker[at]gmail[dot]com

A Request:  Updated to add on 14 August 2014

If you share stories, emails or links – please do mention if you would like to remain anonymous. Alternatively, you may like to choose your full name, just your initials or a pseudonym. Do mention.

In case nothing is mentioned, I might (mostly) share just the initials.

60 thoughts on “Contact Me

  1. Hi,

    Hope you are doing well! This is Anamika Tiwari from At present we are interviewing entrepreneurs and now we are starting another section to feature (interview) bloggers and their blog on

    We find your blog bit interesting and would like to feature your interview on our website.

    I was not able to find any contact details of yours so using this comment box. Please let me know your email id or else contact us on, so that we can send you the questionnaire and feature you on Please visit to know more about us.



    • I was not able to find any contact details of yours so using this comment box. Please let me know your email id

      Anamika, The e-mail address is just above your comment. 😈


  2. Hello IHM, some suggestions for you:

    1. See your latest post on Ruchi. You cannot give more than 10-12 tags and/or categories. WP software will categoriese it as spam then and you will stop appearing in WP global tags page! So limit them to 10. Too many tags do not necessarily bring you visitors frankly; only some is quite fine.

    2. The Shetal Shah nameservers were pointing to a .ru address. So the servers of that blog must be based in Russia. The WHOIS info was private of course.

    3. It is very easy to have a contact form on this page. All you need to do is type the following into any post or page on your blog:


    You can disable the comment option then and nobody will know your email.

    4. You have not optimised the vigilance theme. You can give the links a different colour [from Vigilance theme options].

    Me – Oh my God that’s a lot of information! Thank you! You found out about Shetal Shah’s blog…? It’s from Russia!!? And how will hiding my email address help? My email address is given on the sidebar also, but still sometimes there are comments asking for email address!! What colour would be suitable for links? I did think about it when you last mentioned it… but wasn’t sure what colour to choose.
    I also use the tabs to categorise blog posts, don’t tags help with Search on my blog?


  3. It’s up to you; I have not hidden my mail and neither have you.

    Blue colour is most suitable for eyes [Google uses it too!].

    I only can tell you that it is some Russian company which hosts the blog. If they had not removed you could have initiated a copyright notice against them. See the info about the site here

    The blog is hosted by ; This is a Russian company but the blog owner could be anywhere : US or Russia!

    Tags do help ; use only some and relevant ones. Total of tags and categories should not be more than 10-12 according to WP rules.

    Also add an archive page like me which will list all your posts. Follow the wordpress official blog; it seems you are missing on new blog announcements.

    Me – Vokas these two had gone into spam! Must be the Russian link that did this! I need to go through all your suggestions – I did start making an Archive – at “I BLOG ABOUT” – is there an easy way to make it? Or do we add each post manually? Till now In have added some favorite posts manually – there are more than 300 posts, I hope there is some easier way to do it!😦


  4. I submitted the following comment here but probably some error occurred [Also I am getting my own replies in my mailbox!]. I had fortunately saved a copy. Here it is again:

    It’s up to you; I have not hidden my mail and neither have you.

    Blue colour is most suitable for eyes [Google uses it too!].

    I only can tell you that it is some Russian company which hosts the blog. If they had not removed you could have initiated a copyright notice against them. See the info about the site here

    The blog is hosted by ; This is a Russian company but the blog owner could be anywhere : US or Russia!

    Tags do help ; use only some and relevant ones. Total of tags and categories should not be more than 10-12 according to WP rules.

    Also add an archive page like me which will list all your posts. Follow the wordpress official blog; it seems you are missing on new blog announcements.


  5. Pingback: My sins against the Gender stereotypes:Tag « Me and my world

  6. Dear IHM,

    Had sent this message to you two days back. But it bounced back about which I came to know today.

    “I was just on facebook when I saw that video posted by your friend. I am very sorry to know about this. I have read about her many a times in your blogs.
    I can only say, May God give you the strength. I pray for her soul.

    You both are really strong parents to even have started a scholarship in her name. I do not know what I can possibly do for you. But please let me know If I can ever do anything for you.”

    Without your permission, I have written a post in yours and her name and created links to her writings. I hope you will not mind it. If you do, please let me know.

    With Love,


  7. Hi IHM ,
    I have been reading your blog for some time and love it. Women’s emancipation is a subject close to my heart and love the points your bring up.
    I’ve recently returned back from the US to India and am keeping an account of my observations, thoughts and experience on my blog titled Manhattan2Mumbai (
    Please do visit it , I’d love to hear from you on my latest post titled Job Blues.
    Hope you enjoy reading it.


  8. Awesome post. Do you mind if I ask what your source is for this information?

    Me – Awesome post?????
    You want to know the source of my contact information? 🙄


  9. Hello IHM,

    I posted this post

    this morning and afterwards thought of you. You may find it interesting…the focus is a session I had with an East Indian man. His goal for the session was to learn how to pleasure his wife after almost 60 years of marriage. It highlights the view point of a man who finally realized that his wife was simply acting out of responsibility in the bedroom and he wanted to transform her exeprience. With the utmost respect…

    In Community, Joy


    • //Sukh said his mother wouldn’t contact anyone until he got there. “All through this, she has said, ‘It’s your choice, there is no pressure.’ ”

      Likewise, he said, a potential bride might meet him and turn him down. //

      This needed to be repeated because chances of pressure and not being given a choice are there.
      I wonder if a woman has grown up in a joint family with the belief that only home breaking bad women demand freedom and personal space that they get if they make their own house with their husband, then they don’t expect more than this- there is no violence even if there is pressure to get along with all his family and friends, if she is lucky she might find them compatible too.
      It didn’t read like a happy story to me😦 What was missing? Not sure, maybe,
      //she has fitted happily into her new life//
      //He is committed to the practice of arranged marriage; it remains widespread among Sikhs in New Zealand, and he sees it “working happily”. //
      //During the lead-up to Sukh and Swarnjeet’s marriage, both families were saying to their young people: “It’s still not too late if you want to change your mind.” //
      //they can’t believe how quickly they became comfortable with each other. “It felt like a love marriage we just clicked. I’m lucky.” // (He sees love-marriage as the ideal and his marriage as comparable… )
      But I do feel they might have a great life ahead, and if there will be any problems those would probably be because they are living in the joint family.


  10. Hi IHM,

    Today I went through a lot of posts on your blog…and then I read the posts on Tejaswee…couldnt stop myself from crying. Nobody’s blog has ever moved me the way your blog has. You are truly inspiring and I can only imagine the pain you must have undergone. Thanks for writing!


  11. HI IHM, Your comments on my blog have helped immensely, you have experienced many of the same feelings I have about the loss of a child. I’m not sure what part of the world you live in, but I am visting Bangalore next week on a business trip and would love to meet somewhere to have tea one evening, if you are in Bangalore. I live in Dallas,TX if you ever make it to that part of the world please send me an email. Liz


  12. Hi, You’ve probably blogged about this already- but here’s link to ‘The Last Name Project’

    One of the contributors to the project wrote this:

    “Despite the fact that it’s 2012, the vast majority of my female friends still change their name to their husband’s. The following is a breakdown of the reasons I hear most frequently:

    1) “It’s just easier”—easier for who? Him? Your kids? Hasn’t this been the reasoning behind women’s oppression for hundreds of thousands of years? This might be harder on YOU but your kids, partner, and family are more important – think about them first? Whenever a woman says that to me I want to say back- let me know when you’re standing at the DMV line for 2 hours if this decision truly ends up being “easier.” A woman I dated last year tried to use that reasoning on me – “you’d be making your kids’ lives harder…” My answer- by keeping my last name I’d be making my kids’ lives harder? Really? What about my personal fulfillment? What about knowing that keeping my name is important to me? Won’t I be a better partner and mother if I feel satisfied and happy in my own identity?
    2) “It was really important to him/his family” or “His family is really conservative.” You never hear women say “well my family is really liberal so I’m not changing it.” Why does his family matter more? And why should his familys’ desires factor into YOUR NEW family?
    3) “I wanted to have the same last name as my kids.” Hmm… And why can’t your kids have your name? Or why can’t you all change your last name together? Why is the default still your husband’s?
    4) “I really didn’t like my father/have any connection to him/don’t want to pass on his legacy.” This to me is the most valid reason of all, but why don’t we ever hear men say this? Don’t men just as frequently have poor relationships with their fathers as well? President Obama’s Dad took off when he was young (impregnating Obama’s Mom while still married to his first wife), yet President Obama’s name isn’t Barack Robinson (Michelle’s maiden name). Even worse, both of his kids also pass on this man’s less-than-prestigious personal record. Now this man gets to pass his name on to the Presidency, and be forever revered in honor as one of the most powerful men in history.
    5) “I’m not really attached to my name/I don’t really care.” You don’t care about your name? You don’t care about your identity? This to me is the saddest of all reasons, and to me the ultimate proof of sexism in this debate. You care about yourself so little, you’re willing to completely change your identity to fit someone else’s (typically the man’s). Truly disturbing and sad.
    6) “I really don’t LIKE my name.” It’s too clunky! It’s too long! It’s too short! It sounds like this (rhyme)! I always got teased!. Please. I meet dudes all the time with ridiculous last names (legit- “Balz”). Are they changing it? No. This reason is just another version of #5, or another version of female self-loathing. Just change what we’re talking about and this could be a girl’s brunch conversation in Anytown, USA. “Ugh I hate my thighs!” “My hair is too short” “Oh I really hate XYZ about myself.” Girls, learn to love yourself. “


  13. I’m 20 years old, born in Kerala and raised in the US. When I came to Kerala alone for an internship, I was excited to experience my country in full for the first time. Being here has been great but, I’ve actually never been more aware of the fact that I was a girl. I’ve been reading your blog for a really long time and for the first time, I feel like I need to share my anger:::


  14. Dear IHM,

    I stumbled upon your blog while i was researching about dengue… from my hospital room , with a 104 degree temperature and platelets at 30,000 and my 3 month old baby(fetus) in my tummy, At a time when i was about to give up hope, when i did not know anything about the disease , …. I was scared then for my baby s life more than mine…I was just 28! Every time my fever would come down i prayed it would never go back up and this continued for 10 long days.On DAY 7 they said to arrange for blood expecting me lose my baby and may be my own life..I would like to say that my baby fought harder than i did …i think i survived only because he was inside me! I am very much younger than you and a new mother now of a thriving 7 month old ! and i cannot imagine what i would do without him.I read your blog and learnt to draw strength from my little one just like you did from yours! Tejaswee is beautiful! . I would just like to send you a BIG hug from me and DHARMA ,our son!

    Love! Janaki


  15. Hi.. I am so happy to read your blog. I’m a married woman, a homemaker and I take up music classes. I used to work for an IT firm before. But I quit after I realized my passion towards music. Must tell you, I was so happy to come here and read most of your posts, comments and emails from your friends. I realized I am not alone with problems. There are so many women who live just for others’ sake for so many years and then find light at the end of the tunnel. I realized I have to be patient enough. Women are born to make small but the most important sacrifices, but at the end of the day, a woman gets more respect than a man and she is “the Home Maker”. I am happy and proud that I’m born as a woman. I am inspired by other women and you. Thank you so much.


    • I feel the respect that we have for ourselves really matters. Otherwise, respectful treatment should be mutual, i.e. we give respect and expect respect.

      Anybody who offers respect for sacrifice and suffering is indirectly asking us to sacrifice and suffer – So that they don’t have to suffer and sacrifice. Respect for respect sounds more fair. Respect for fitting into gender roles/society’s expectations is not really respect, it’s blackmail.


  16. What do you call a guy who cooks for his mother and father?


    a) a servant
    b) mama’s boy
    c) spineless squid
    d) puppet
    e) a toy
    f) an infant who is still tied down by the umbilical cord

    Please tell me😉
    Would love your response since it would be as rational as your previous one.


  17. Dear IHM,

    I wrote to you a couple of months ago about how my in laws were not talking to me, because I wanted to visit my mother for my father’s death ceremony. Since then, my MIL called up my aunt and my mother and told them that our family has raised horrible daughters and that we are arrogant girls who think we are “birlas”. She pulled in my sister too, claiming that she had had an abortion (probably a miscarriage… I do not know… she never wanted to share). I do not have a biological child, and I wonder what she was hinting at. I am really hurt and am at odds. How do I react/ what do I do? Can you please publish this on the forum? Thanks and regards, Summer Rain/Vaidehi


  18. My in laws they say they are practical but they don’t allow me to laugh they day girls don’t laugh, they say I cannot share jokes with my husband. Its so difficult to adjust with these orthodox people but still strongly believe they are practical and updated with genre. There are so many things that disturbs. What do you recommend sir. And I hope the identity remains confidential!!!!!


  19. Dear IHM,
    Ur posts are addictive !!! I hv read almost all ur blogs in past 2 days and I must say u connect with ur readers beautifully ..U r an inspiration for many budding bloggers…

    Love & best wishes



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