Imagine

Guest post by wordssetmefreee

 

Imagine a world where you are judged

Not by your skin color or what you’re wearing

But by your human strengths

For your wit, compassion, and caring

 

Imagine living on a street

Where your opinions can be bared

Without fear of being silenced

By casual denial or malicious stares

 

Imagine having friends

Who listen, validate, make you strong

With whom there are no feelings

That are shameful, taboo, or wrong

 

Imagine living in a community

Where other’s stories shed light

and learning happens unintentionally

Transforming you, in plain sight

 

Imagine a world where sharing

Is welcomed with knowing, accepting hearts

Where expression lends clarity

Piecing together your jagged, hurting parts

 

Does this sound too Utopian?

But such a world isn’t far away

It’s the world of blogging

Where you and I meet everyday

 

Let them not sideline or suppress

Your inner battles, your outer skirmishes

Speak, question, think, and express

Your unruly thoughts, your untamed wishes

 

Let not your voice and mine

Be drowned out in doubt and fear

And lay buried in an obscure shrine

Forgotten in a tomb of despair

 

Let them not lock your thoughts

Take the key and set yourself free

Keep reading, writing, thinking, speaking

For you are the queen of your destiny

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A Woman Who Doesn’t Have to Fit In

A Guest Post by wordssetmefreee

Khoobsoorat – Movie Review

(Warning – Spoilers, lots of them)

When my niece recommended I watch this film, I was skeptical. It sounded like a predictable Bollywood romance, replete with beautiful sets, fine costumes and jewelry, one dimensional characters with very little subtlety, and situations that are too easily resolved, usually through the use of lectures and bit of melodrama.

It turned out to be some of the above. But despite these predictable traits, the movie surprised me.

The Protagonist

What I liked about the film is of course the protagonist Mili (Sonam Kapoor). Or rather, I came to like her. Cautiously. Gradually.

Mili is silly, irritating, and clumsy. She puts up her feet on the dashboard, drinks from the wine bottle, and eats messy food with her hands. She takes selfies of herself everywhere. I thought, “And THIS is what they call ‘spontaneous/bubbly’?” I rolled my eyes.

But over the course of the film, Mili emerges as a woman who likes herself and is not excessively concerned whether others approve of her or not.

She is very good at what she does (physiotherapy) and she does it unconventionally and with lots of heart thrown in.

Mili has had 3 breakups so far (shown funnily in a little flashback) and even though she’s just had it with men for a while, she hasn’t had it with life. In fact, she’s enjoying life more than usual, with the complications of a relationship removed.

Mili dares to dream. She isn’t overly awed by Prince Vikram’s wealth or class. At first she’s attracted to him, and then she begins to like him when she sees his human side. As she finds herself becoming closer to him, her only worry is that he is engaged. Never once does she feel he is “unreachable”. It’s as if she’s always seen him as an equal, as another human being. She conveys an easy, natural sense of self-worth here.

Supporting Characters

Another pleasant surprise – there are two other strong female characters in the film – the Maharani, Vikram’s mother, played by Rathna Pathak, and Manju (played by Kirron Kher), Mili’s kick-ass, Punjabi mom. Both characters were portrayed reasonably well. Power does not make the Maharani evil and being middle class does not make Mili’s mom servile.

The Maharani, although strict and rule bound, never raises her voice or gets abusive as befitting her classy background. Her bossiness is restrained, her dismissals aloof, her rebuttals are often polite, and her language is impeccably clean. And there are layers to her. You can understand that she needs to be authoritarian in order to run such a large estate, several businesses, and keep an army of staff running smoothly. You also sense she is protective of the wheelchair-bound Maharaja. She will not let anyone cross the wall he has built around himself. She fears that it could be devastating to him. Gradually, their previous relationship is revealed. How they played polo and tennis together. How the Maharani had love and friendship and playfulness from her husband before one tragic incident brought their lives to a screeching halt. Theirs was (and is) an equal marriage, a rarity among older (or even younger?) Bollywood characters.

As a foil to the Maharani’s character is Manju, Mili’s mom – loud, bull dozer like, and calls a spade a spade. You can tell where Mili gets her guts and a bit of craziness from. Manju often advises her daughter to “go get “em” if she needs to and to “not take any crap from the guy’s family”. That really made me laugh with happiness!:)

And now, coming to the male lead – Prince Vikram played by Fawad Khan. The actor is smoky handsome and sexy (I can see why my niece was so hooked on this movie now:). When I say sexy, I don’t just mean his physical attributes. I think people who are good looking in an empty sort of way are seldom sexy. He has what attractive men and women have – an air of mystery, a certain aloofness, quiet confidence that doesn’t require loudness or aggression, a reluctance to easily reveal himself and yet he does so in vulnerable moments. And when he does reveal himself here and there unintentionally, you like what you see.

When Mili accuses him of not joining the party with the servants because he has to maintain his distance/status, he replies, “Yeah …. something like that.” He doesn’t deny that the class gap exists and he doesn’t have all the answers. And then adds, “or perhaps, they (servants) would prefer it that way (him not joining their fun).”

He is puzzled by Mili’s craziness. He is befuddled by her impulsiveness. He is wary of her inclination to say things without a filter. He is jolted by her tendency to act on whim, without the slightest though to consequences.

But when he watches his mother’s reaction to Mili’s wackiness, he is secretly amused. All of his emotions were subtly conveyed – a raised eyebrow, a shrug, a warning look, a little hesitation, a tensing of the shoulders, a bit of subtle sarcasm, or some delicate rephrasing of an otherwise crass situation.

There is great chemistry between the two characters. In both the kissing/hugging scenes, they are BOTH drawn to each other, the feeling is mutual, and Mili as the woman is a willing partner, and once she is also the initiator.

Vikram finds himself reluctantly but helplessly drawn to Mili, despite his rational understanding of the volcano he’s walking into. Mili, on the other hand, true to her character, courts fire, and gives no thought to the consequences.

Humor

There are several funny moments – some everyday situations, some contrived. When Mili asks people from the royal family to join her skype call with mom, her mother puts on a sweet smile, but once they leave, blasts Mili for doing this to her when “she’s cutting onions and sweating in the kitchen”.

When the kidnappers tell Mili they’re just getting started with their ransom “business” and she’s their first victim, Mili who is now high on something, says, “I get it. I remember being excited too – when I got my first client.”

Mili’s breakups are funny – one is with a clueless guy who has found his soul mate in another clueless girl. Another guy is just someone who couldn’t handle Mili’s feet on his dashboard anymore.

And Vikram’s use of “hum” (we) to refer to himself are greeted by irreverent Mili (and her mom) with a “Who the heck is We?? Hello?? I see only one person here!”

I chuckled when the Maharani (upon being confronted in the middle of the night by Manju) says with lovely poise, “I’m sorry but I need my 8 hours of sleep. Can we discuss these “interesting” theories of yours in the morning?”

Room for Improvement

I thought they could’ve balanced out Mili’s character a bit – she doesn’t ALWAYS have to be smiling or ALWAYS have to drop things – we get it – she’s a fun gal and a tad clumsy. But when Vikram tells her they cannot share a future because they are so different, Mili hardens and softens at the same time. She looks at him both angrily and sadly and says, “I agree.” This is where her character looks more complete, more multi-dimensional. I wish there were a few more of these contemplative moments for Mili.

The confrontation between the moms was unnecessary and Manju’s pettiness and arguing to the bitter end dragged down the last part of the movie a bit.

I also thought the Maharaja’s situation was resolved a bit too simplistically. While I appreciate Mili’s determination to do her job as a therapist and her efforts to bring fun back into his life because she believes it will help him recover, I wish she never explicitly TOLD him he is stuck at the time of the accident, and needs to start living again. I wish she had trusted his capacity for self-direction. And I wish he had taken that first step forward himself, with her support.

The Ending

Loved the ending though! It is the royal family that learns to relax and adapt to Mili’s crazy ways rather than Mili changing herself to fit into the clan’s honored traditions. This is not shown explicitly but implied through the Maharani’s humorous acceptance of Mili and the last credits song.

The movie is based on an older film of the same name starring Rekha. And it does have shades of the Sound of Music. I’m not sure if it passes the Bechdel test but overall, I confess I enjoyed this movie. Charming characters, three strong women, one dashing prince, a hauntingly beautiful palace, and lots of heart make this a warm, pleasant ride. Did you like it? Let me know what you think!

Kyonkee Husbands bhi kabhi Sons the.

One hears about men “caught between the woman who raised them and the woman they have to spend their life with.”

I have met mothers who seem to want to protect their adult, married, sons from their spouse’s lack of consideration and ‘attempts to dominate’. And I have met wives who want to undo the damage caused by a neglectful mothers.

One mother said her son complained that he missed hot chappaties because his wife was working and he wished she would work from home. He told his mother that he wished the younger woman was like her, well read and intelligent, but also an efficient homemaker.

Does he sound like he was caught between two bickering women? His mother did demand the daughter in law changes her job, I blogged about it here, but at the time I had blamed only the mother.

Another son complained that his wife couldn’t keep the house as clean as his mother did and wanted the mother to teach her how to run a house (in this case he was unemployed and had lost the mother’s savings in poor investments, but I am sure one doesn’t need to be unemployed to object to incompetence). The incompetent wife is under the impression that the son had an unhappy childhood because the mother was busy making a career, he missed being served hot meals.

Does he sound like a victim? He says the quarrels between the two of them make him go crazy and perhaps he needs to be ‘strict’ (this was meant to be a joke). He reminded me of Ruchi’s husband.

A third son I know had complained to his mother that the wife was not capable of taking good care of the children. I know that in this case his mother advised him to participate in child rearing. This same man also complains to his wife about his mother’s lack of interest in cooking during his childhood, but the wife hired a cook so she could give more time to the kids (who were anyway doing great).

Obviously these are just a few cases, but I am sure there are many more such husbands and sons.

In the first half of a two-part series, clinical psychologist Salma Prabhu advises men on how to keep mother and wife happy.

Do take a look. (Thanks for sharing Kavitha)

Here are some parts I noticed.

“… if a man is unable to take decisions alone it reflects upon the mother. Such a relationship could become overly protective and hamper growth. “

“…you both are going to raise children together, send them off into their own lives and grow old together…”

“Respect is the most vital element… Your mother loves you unconditionally and will ignore disrespectful behaviour, but a wife has expectations and cannot forgive transgressions…”

What do you think?

Related posts:

The Invisible family member in the saas bahu post..

Ruchi’s husband.

My dreams are more precious than yours.

[‘Kyonki Husbands bhi kahbi Sons the’  translates to ‘Because husbands too were once sons.’ ]

‘Maayka Chavi Ka’… sequel to ‘Sasural Simar Ka’ ;)

In the last post we saw Simar’s future will be decided by her parents and extended family, and to some extent by her neighbours’ gossip opinions. Her happiness will also depend on her pati parmeshwar and her saasu ma – if she is fortunate they will treat her well. That’s her life. Get Married. Stay Married.

And then there is Chhavi.

Chhavi Rajawat, an MBA and the Sarpanch of  the village that is her ‘maayka‘ 


Indian girls do have choices, if the society and the parents open their eyes and notice them. Chhavi, 30 chose to make a difference.

I loved the first few words in this video below 🙂

🙂

This village Sarpanch knows no stereotypes. 

She does not become like the villagers to help them, they want to be like her.

Her responsibilities include making clean drinking water available to the villagers, water conservation, water harvesting, tree planting, road works and bringing electricity to rural households. A project that’s close to her heart is the revamp of the local schools.

That’s her team of eleven, four men and seven women 🙂

“I hope my small contribution to society will encourage more girls to work towards rural development. Take the plunge and you will realise that it is worth it,” she says.‘  [Click to read more]

.

Read Sandhya’s post for more on Chhavi Rajawat.

Related posts:

Sarpanch Ashuba Khan and her all women Panchayat, Neemkheda village, Haryana.
I do not like Reservation.
Biology versus Culture DEATHMATCH Part I (Nandini’s Niche)

Those charged with our safety should have a true understanding of what it is to be a survivor of sexual assault — slut or otherwise.

Sometimes the same people who think women should endure unhappy marriages also worry about the gender ratio. They see no connection or contradiction.

Some people think banning prenatal sex determination tests will end female foeticide in India, even if the society continues to see getting and staying married as a woman’s life-purpose. They see no connection.

The same people who claim to respect women also insist that controlling how women dress can control crimes against women.

Somebody told me this protest in Canada, ‘condemning the notion that suggestive dressing is an invitation to assault’ was ridiculous.

When a Toronto police member told the students that they could avoid assaults on campus ‘by not dressing like a slut’,

The protestors swept through the streets wearing whatever they wanted

I agree with them,

Being in charge of our sexual lives should not mean that we are opening ourselves to an expectation of violence, regardless if we participate in sex for pleasure or work.

No one should equate enjoying sex with attracting sexual assault.”

The protesting students and the staff demanded that the Toronto police force take serious steps to regain their trust.

“We want to feel that we will be respected and protected should we ever need them, but more importantly be certain that those charged with our safety have a true understanding of what it is to be a survivor of sexual assault — slut or otherwise,”

(Link shared by Desi Girl on Buzz, Thank You DG.)

Do you think, in India, the police (including women in the police), the educational institutions and our law makers, and all those who have the power and the responsibility to ensure women’s safety have a true understanding of what it is to be a survivor of sexual assault — even if the victim ‘participates in sex for work or for pleasure’? 

I doubt it.

Related Posts:

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work.

Provocatively Dressed.

Why a ban on jeans may not stop street sexual harassment of women.

She does not invite it.

Indian family values are good for Indian daughters?

Some happy relationship rules. Add yours?

These rules make even more sense after the last three posts.

  1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
  2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
  3. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
  4. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
  5. Slower is better.
  6. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
  7. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend. Don’t settle.
  8. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
  9. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
  10. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
  11. Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
  12. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
  13. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
  14. If something bothers you, speak up.
  15. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
  16. You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
  17. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has more education or in a better job.
  18. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
  19. Never let a man define who you are.
  20. Never borrow someone else’s man.
  21. If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
  22. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
  23. You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is a two way street.
  24. You need time to heal between relationships…there is nothing cute about baggage… Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
  25. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you… a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals… look for someone complimentary…not supplementary.
  26. Dating is fun …even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
  27. Make him miss you sometimes… when a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him – he takes it for granted.
  28. Never move into his mother’s house.
  29. Never co-sign for a man.
  30. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.
  31. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

This is said to have been written by Oprah in her book (Not sure though). Thanks for sharing Ashwathy!

Even if Poonam does not run naked, she should be punished?

Model Poonam Pandey’s plan to strip if India beat Sri Lanka Saturday has angered the Bharatiya Janata Party’s (BJP) women’s wing which has sought police action against her.

“Indian women are revered and respected since time immemorial…”

How exactly do we show this reverence to women? Please do compare this to how we show respect to everybody else.

Can threats be called ‘respect’?

I have so much respect for you; don’t ask to eat with the rest of the family. Your happiness lies in seeing us enjoy the food you cook.”  Is that respect?

So basically,

If you disagree we can’t respect you.

Don’t try to give your point of view, we won’t be able to respect you…

Little girls earn this respect by respecting the fact that they are always second to their brothers. “What’s wrong with that, don’t they love their brothers?

It’s more like a Terror of Respect.

Do as you are told or else we will not ‘respect’ you.

Dress only the way we permit or else…

Don’t choose your life partner or else…

Let your husband and his family abuse you, or else…

Give us a male heir or else…

Don’t enter the temple, you are impure…

And worst,

Don’t complain if you were sexually harassed, molested or abused or else no respect.

So, when it comes to women, it seems respect is more a means to control than a privilege.

I would say the only kind of respect that matters is the respect we have for ourselves. Or Respect that is given in return of respectequal and mutual. All other forms of reverence and respect are not too far from ‘honor’ and ‘honor killing’ or honor related abetted suicides.

Kelkar objected to Poonam ‘sullying the image of Indian women before the whole world.’ (Read Bhagwad’s objections to granting Poonam such powers)

Another man thinks her actions can sully the name of his caste. So obviously this lawyer believes there are no Brahmin rapists, child abusers  and murderers? Or these crimes don’t insult Indian culture?

“Even if Poonam does not run naked, she should be punished as she not only gave a wrong impression of the (Brahmin) community but insulted Indian culture,” The case will be heard April 5. (Today)

We live in an India where some people can legally express their arrogant, sexist and casteist opinions and offend my democratic and tolerant sentiments. I find it difficult to understand or ‘respect’ such frivolous objections. Are they doing this for free publicity? In a country where rape victims have to wait for years for justice, aren’t such cases a waste of time and resources?

Thankfully we are a civilized, democratic society. Poonam Pandey, Rakhi Sawant and Mallika Sherawat are generally free to ignore these opinions or react (if required) through a civilized, legal process.  No stoning. No anti-blasphemy laws.

And that is something I respect about my country. 🙂

Women who value the respect they have for themselves more than the respect of every wannbe politician, publicity seeker, neighour’s third cousin etc are able to fight back.

Sraboney shared this video where this Pakistani actor Veena Mallik is fighting back against similar allegations. Makes me wonder if hypocrites are the same everywhere.

A Sari to make you a Respectable Indian Teacher.

A local government college in Bhopal has banned jeans pants for lady teachers instructing them to wear saris while in the campus.

A spokesman of the management of Sarojini Naidu (Nutan) College said that the decision was taken to instil Indian culture in the college.

He said that till now, teachers were wearing salwar suits, kurtas and jeans due to which it was sometimes difficult to distinguish between them and students.

The spokesman said that a similar decision on enforcing a dress code for students would also be enforced from the next session.

“A dress code for students cannot be enforced during the middle of an academic session,” he said.

Or watch the news here.

“There is a personality of a teacher. You are standing wearing anything, or jeans that look vulgar, that is not right. Even students do not respect you as they think. So, this is very important,” said Pandit. (A teacher)

Should colleges be telling the students that traditional clothing can make a female wearer look ‘respectable‘? And so not wearing a sari does exactly the opposite?

Why is a salwar kameez – very much a traditonal Indian outfit, less respectable?

One assumption could be that the sari makes a woman look older. Also traditionally, in some parts of India, all married women must wear sari. I have blogged about meeting someone who thought that married women who do not wear sari are doing it behind their in laws’ and husband’s backs.

Bombay High Court held that a marriage can’t be ended over a sari.

The college could to be trying to say that a teacher in a sari is seen as older and ‘respectably married’ (or at least marriageable).

This is how stereotypes are created.

Is it okay for a college to ask the students to associate ‘respect’ (or honor!) with sari and vulgarity with Jeans?

“In thousands of ways, our culture has conditioned us to anticipate rape as a natural consequence of violating social norms”. These misconceptions are responsible for women blaming themselves for sexual crimes against themselves (…makes it easier for those who don’t care to take action).

The male teachers are not expected to wear dhoti and achkan. Doesn’t the college think the students need to respect the male teachers too? Why teach the students that double standards and gender bias are acceptable?

Has the college really given this a thought? There are many who think sari is ‘sensual’.  Jeans are actually seen as comfortable and easy wear, and saris as ‘dressy’ by many others. Many others feel sari is not easy to maintain or move in, and not weather appropriate, while jeans and salwar kameez are.

Also consider why is it so essential for the female teachers (if at all) to look ‘different from students’? What if a teacher continues to look like one of the students (i.e. young and unmarried) no matter what she wears?

And most importantly, shouldn’t an adult female wearer (like the rest of the population) be trusted to decide what is appropriate for her to wear?

Compare this news from Bhopal to this news from Lahore,

Jeans, Body Hugging Dresses Banned in Lahore College fearing Terror Threats.

Related Posts:

Not Just a Pair of Jeans

No Jeans for a Indian Daughters in law.

The way a woman dresses…

Provocatively Dressed.

Loving husbands who devote their days and nights to maintain peace in the family.

Anju wonders if this man fits into the label of a ‘Maa Ka Ladla’ or  a ‘Joru Ka Gulam’. ‘Few days back I visited a patient and I was amused at the way the patient was being pampered alternatively by the wife and the mother. It was like who will take more care of the man.’

Anju feels for this man, ‘how tiresome it must be for him to pamper both the egos, to make both of them feel important and let both feel that he cannot do without either of them’

***

I wonder if women face this problem.

Are women able to take better care of  themselves on their own? We know they don’t. They need as much care as everybody else does.

So why don’t women have their mothers (or fathers) and their spouse competing to take care of them? He is supposed to be ‘Budhape ka sahara‘ of one and ‘Pati Parmeshwar‘ of the other.

What makes two family members almost fight to take care of this adult, male member? Is it because they each feel they must win a closeness to him? Are they insecure? If yes, then what makes them so insecure? Does this insecurity benefit the man in some way? (I don’t think so.)

Has tradition taught women that their lives must revolve around their husbands/husband’s family? Is the rest of the population given the same values?

Has the same tradition made mothers feel that while some of their children learn to take care of themselves (female children), some of them (male children) need to mothered all their lives?

Married daughters are encouraged to develop a healthy relationship with their husbands, but married sons in India are expected to ‘balance‘, which includes things like making sure their wives are respectful, subservient, obedient to their family etc.

Do I sympathize with this man? I feel I sympathize with the situation and with the families involved.

Indian mothers still look for and ‘bring’ obedient and pliant daughters in law for themselves when they arrange marriages for their sons. Often compatibility and companionship between the couple are not considered as important, as the wife being obedient and respectful to the in laws. Sons who feel this is unfair are labeled Joru Ka Gulaam.

Traditionally the society is fine with sons spending most of their time with their friends, but traditionally the same sons are not encouraged to see their wives as their best friends. Some sons have no real relationship with their wives for many years (often never). The mother remains the friend and companion (or male friends do). This would still be fine, if the daughter in law also had the option of maintaining a relationship with her own parents and old friends – this generally does not happen. She must make her husband and in laws her world, but she must accept that she is not their world.

Double standards don’t make for happy families or a just and fair society.

Why does Gender Sensitivity in Legal Language matter.

At first there were objections to a man in a live in relationship being expected to provide palimony to a partner. One objection was that this would amount to permitting him polygamy. That the man would be giving from the legal wife’s share to the live-in partner.

Now both, the man and his partners are required to be unmarried.

(3) they must be otherwise qualified to enter into a legal marriage including being unmarried,

[Click to read more]

I think that sounds fair.

So,

The Supreme Court today ruled that if a man has a live-in relationship with a woman only for sexual reasons, it cannot amount to a relationship that entitles either partner to the benefits of marriage.

Sounds fair too.

Then what is the objection? The objection is to the use of the words, ‘keep‘ and ‘one night stand’.

The court said, “If a man has a keep whom he maintains financially, and uses mainly for sexual purpose and as a servant, it would not be a relationship in the nature of marriage.”

“The words used in the judgment are derogatory. Words like ‘keep’ and ‘one night stand’ are not legal language. The Court has to be gender sensitive. It is like setting the clock back after the Supreme Court passed the historic judgement in the Visakha case,” ASG Jaising had stated.

Advocate Mridula Kadam said, “…Such words are used by uneducated people…”

I agree.

Advocate Kranti Sathe said: “… I would certainly feel offended if words like ‘keep’ were used by any judge hearing my case.” [Link]

I would too.

“I am concerned about the image of the Supreme Court of India, which is known for its sensitivity to women as you can see in its Vishaka (sexual harassment of women in workplace) judgment. I am a member of the international body ‘Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women’, which fights to get rid of discriminating language and stereotypes against women. I fear the remarks in the judgment may put the clock back as it is not in a legal language befitting the Supreme Court,” she said in favour of expunging the remarks in the judgment. [Link]

I was not surprised to read comments disagreeing with ASG Jaising. Some of the objections implied that ‘such women’ deserved such names. Words and language have the power to change mindsets. Legal language is not street language.  We do not use the street words used for describing incest in legal language do we?

Here is one of the many reactions, and exactly why legal language needs to objective, accurate and free of any judgment.

“The society defines cetain relationship with certain names which get to be accepted language of daily use . Some names get derrogated over the perid of time because of the kind of relationship or the effects f relationship on the society. Over a period of time such as this kalyoug some of such relationships are getting glorified but they donot have the guts to be called by old name… In indian socity husband and the wife a couple legal one is respected and cherished and it should not be equated to the status of live in , mutawa, keep,slave ,temporary relationship. Democracy and freedom does not mean that we can do anything . We may change the previous norms of society by discussion and law but not accept them after it is done for the convenience and pleasure of few.” [From here]

Related Posts: Every blogger should mind their language.