Clarification about this site


This is Priya.  Some people have mistaken me for IHM (when I wrote a post here) and I’ve also received emails asking if this is my blog.  I’d like to clarify that this site belongs to Indian Homemaker (IHM).  She has invited me to be a guest blogger on her site.  (I have my own blog – and I guest blog here sometimes.)

I came here as a reader 3 years ago.  I learnt so much, both from IHM’s writing and the wonderful comments.  The readers on this blog are intelligent and insightful, generous and supportive.  This is the place I came to, when I was troubled by questions about gender equality.  This is the place I came to – to share, help others, and learn.  There were things I instinctively knew were wrong.  But I could not explain or clarify those things.  I was surrounded by people (in my life) who actively tried to drown out my inner voice.  IHM’s blog helped me understand why.  They felt threatened.  Since they enjoyed very little control over their own lives, they attempted to control others’ lives.  Thus IHM’s blog helped me clarify for myself logically why something I suspected was wrong was indeed so.  This blog reaffirmed my faith in my inner voice and told me to trust my own intelligence rather than “ancient wisdom”.

Just as it helped me, this blog has helped countless women from all walks of life, who live across the globe.  We may differ in our economic or social backgrounds, in our careers and interests, but the problems of gender equality weave a common pattern through our varied lives.  It is here that women connected and supported one another.  I felt tremendously strong, looking at this community of women.  I was so proud of them.  As Maya Angelou said, “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing, without claiming it, she stands up for ALL women.”

Like many bloggers do at some point, IHM took a break and her writing became infrequent.  Like all of us (bloggers and readers), other aspects of her life took precedence.  So, when she invited me to write some guest posts, I agreed because I did not want this community of support to disappear.  I wrote several long and detailed posts for a while and kept the discussions going (if you scroll to the bottom of this post, you will see a link to my guest posts that says “view all posts by Priya”).

Then I stopped writing.  I became consumed with other things (my son’s autism and homeschooling primarily ) and have filled in here sporadically.  (I had taken a break from my own blog too during the past year.)

But now I’m back to writing and I can’t begin to tell you how good it feels!  I realize now that other things consuming my life are the VERY REASON I should continue writing.  I could write about what’s dominating my life right now to help me understand it better.  I could also write about other things to give my mind a break from being consumed; writing about other things may help maintain some separation from the central aspects of my life and allow me to continue to grow in different ways.

This year, I hope to continue to contribute here.  I also want to invite all of you to send me your guest posts and share your experiences, dilemmas, and questions.  It is my dream to see many women’s voices being heard here.  I will contact some of my blogger friends and acquaintances, asking for guest post contributions.

And I continue to look forward to the time when IHM can post here more frequently.

I hope you will all help in making this site active again.  Remember, writing is powerful.  It is cathartic to ourselves and impactful to others.

If you would like to send me your guest post or want to ask a question or share your experience, please email me at



Guest post by wordssetmefreee


Imagine a world where you are judged

Not by your skin color or what you’re wearing

But by your human strengths

For your wit, compassion, and caring


Imagine living on a street

Where your opinions can be bared

Without fear of being silenced

By casual denial or malicious stares


Imagine having friends

Who listen, validate, make you strong

With whom there are no feelings

That are shameful, taboo, or wrong


Imagine living in a community

Where other’s stories shed light

and learning happens unintentionally

Transforming you, in plain sight


Imagine a world where sharing

Is welcomed with knowing, accepting hearts

Where expression lends clarity

Piecing together your jagged, hurting parts


Does this sound too Utopian?

But such a world isn’t far away

It’s the world of blogging

Where you and I meet everyday


Let them not sideline or suppress

Your inner battles, your outer skirmishes

Speak, question, think, and express

Your unruly thoughts, your untamed wishes


Let not your voice and mine

Be drowned out in doubt and fear

And lay buried in an obscure shrine

Forgotten in a tomb of despair


Let them not lock your thoughts

Take the key and set yourself free

Keep reading, writing, thinking, speaking

For you are the queen of your destiny

List of Male Bloggers in Danger…

…of being labeled JKGs  😉

A JKG is a man who does not think gender bias benefits him or the society. (A JKG is not necessarily a married man.)

In India it’s difficult for a man to speak against biases that oppress women. The danger increases if he speaks in support of his wife (Joru). Such acts of common sense require courage, and are rewarded with taunts and labels like JKG (Joru Ka Gulam).
Literal meaning: ‘Slave of Wife/Woman’

[14 more definitions of a JKG here. You have a definition that fits, please leave in the comment box or send an email]

Listed in random order, I think they are all equally endangered 😆

Neo Indian

The war for women
Why creepy men are good for you
25 ridiculously clichéd Hindi film dialogues that tell you the even more clichéd story of an Indian girl
Good schools prefer housewives

TBG (The Bald Guy)

So you want to marry your daughter eh?
Girls learn to say no.
Girls and their cars.


The Tale of Gregory, part I (About a Veetodu Maapilai or a Ghar Jamai…)

Hitchwriter dares anybody to label him, by wearing this JKG badge on his sidebar 🙂

(One of the 8 award winning badges.)


Portrayal of women in Indian media
An eve-teasing incident in front of me
Feminism and seven steps in the sky

Josh Marowitz

Why anti-feminist Satoshi Kanazawa is illogical, unnecessary, and evil, and – oh yeah – a giant f-ing douchebag

The Quirky Indian

If A Woman is Out with Male Friends Late at Night, She Must Want Sex.
On The State of Women, Backless Cholis and Shag Fests
We the Deserving….
Indian Culture is Alive and Kicking. Literally.


My dear women
A story about gender discrimination
Bhartiya Nari


Name change after marriage.


India – Women Reservation Bill 2010 –– The Need for India – Complete Case Study

Please feel free to leave links of any other male bloggers you think face similar risks. Before adding any links here, their vulnerability will be assessed by a team of judges.

If you are a male blogger and you feel you are in danger of being labeled a JKG, please do leave the link to the post that puts you at peril.

Badge by Freya, see more badges here. Would you like to create a JKG BADGE? Get in touch!

Note: Updated.


My Gym-friend thinks I have “become very boring!” Yesterday, she demanded I pass the phone to my daughter because she is not interested in discussing whether Rahul Gandhi is the Obama for India or Kiren Rijiju from Arunachal Pradesh. (Is that possible?)
She concedes, “Now ask me if Obama is hot, that I can tell you!

But that I already know. Shobha De told us on her blog.

I asked Daughter, if she thought she was being neglected because of the time I spend on my blog? She promptly gives me a hug and says (sings) “If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad!
And I know the thought that unrepentantly creeps into the mind is, “This is a blog-worthy moment!”

Earlier if the cat, the only baby in the house, woke me up, I tried to go back to sleep. Now even at an unearthly 5 am, the laptop is sneaked into the kitchen, and while the morning cup of tea gets cold, the mail is checked for comments.

Recently when there was an internet connection problem, the World (Wide Web) had come to a stand still.The biggest regret was there were no blog posts, kept opened in Firefox Mozilla tabs, to read 😦

During the day, when the Incredimail notifier announces “You’ve got mail!” it can be heard all over the house … and that’s reason enough to drop whatever is being done and run to check if there’s a new comment, or an email from the blogosphere.

Of course some days are really busy, and there’s hardly any time to do anything. But publish the comments received, one must.

I wonder how much time other bloggers spend in the blogdom … four hours a day? Five? Or do you only look at your blog once a week?

When can we say we are addicted to the blogosphere ?