An email: “I am 32, Going through a very messy divorce…”

Can there be freedom without Self reliance?

No amount of Save the Girl Child slogans will change the skewed gender ratio (and all that leads to it) unless all Indian children are provided opportunities to grow into self reliant adults who are free to choose who, when and if they marry or divorce. Without self reliance, women will continue to be pressurised to save abusive marriages and Indian divorce rate. 

Sharing an email.


I am 32, Going through a very messy divorce. I do not have any qualifications as such and I am looking forward to pursue a course that will make me financially independent. Anything from 6 months to a year that will help me get my confidence back and step into the world. what are the major avenues after such a distress where women are welcome?

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“Her husband has told her she can leave if she wishes, she does not have a steady income of her own.”

My father says study but not without your FIL’s permission.”

A comment: One more thing, had I been financially independent I would have never got married.


6 thoughts on “An email: “I am 32, Going through a very messy divorce…”

  1. “after such a distress where women are welcome?” – That part of your email is difficult to answer as women and men could be made to feel unwelcome anywhere under any set of conditions by other women or men. So that aspect is clearly not in your hands. What is within your control to some extent is to prepare yourself to handle new and unexpected situations. Considering the following factors while preparing oneself for a job may be more important: interests, qualification, location, working hours (if you have children or if travelling too much is a concern). If people display prejudice because a man/woman is divorced, a reasonable way to deal with it is to focus on the work at hand. Doing one’s work well gives a lot of satisfaction, happiness and confidence. Dealing with negative people takes away a lot of energy, precious time and gives you a headache while there is absolutely no guarantee of being able to change their prejudices. Good luck with the new beginning. Stay strong.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LW, I think your first step could begin right here. By telling us more about you. It’s not sufficient to say that you do not have any qualifications. I’m assuming you wrote this email yourself. If that’s the case, you at least have fair-enough writing skills 🙂 Also, you reached out to an audience on a blog/via email, which means you have computer/internet usage skills. You can help yourself build confidence more than anyone else can… verbal assurance from others helps, but you already have to be in a place where you are ready to boost your confidence and move on–you’re already there. See? Three positives already!

    Now go ahead and write more about yourself. What education have you had so far? You may or may not have fared well at school… it doesn’t matter too much… but did you have any ‘favorite subject’… something that you really enjoyed learning about, or an activity you enjoyed doing, any hobbies? Have you faced any difficult situations (obviously you have) and used aspects of your personality (soft skills) to rise above them (aside from your ongoing struggle, of course)? Try this as a writing exercise for yourself. You’ll be surprised how your stance changes from ‘I don’t have any qualifications as such’ – to – ‘here’s what I think I am good at / here’s what I think I can learn/do, based on what my knowledge/experience so far’. Maybe then, people on this forum might be better able to guide you further.

    Soldier on! Good luck!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. What you can take up really depends on many factors:

    What are your qualifications?
    Can you get a job with those or would you be willing to re-train in a new field?
    How much time and finances do you have at hand to do that?

    Some information on these points would help us make some suggesions.

    Liked by 2 people

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