Indian parents’ need to win (by any means) the approval of the ‘people’ in their social circle – relatives, friends, neighbours and acquaintances is a social evil at the root of many other social evils.
It leads to dishonesty, hypocrisy, abuse, control and social crimes, including –
Semi forced arranged marriages (mainly because of the concept of a ‘marriageable age’ for women and the expectation from women to provide male heirs);
Getting a daughter ‘married-off’ to someone the peer group approves of (or is envious of), leading to willingness to give dowry and raising the daughter to be a future daughter in law, and male child preference;
Viewing of Happily Married Daughters as status symbols, leading to forcing them to Get Married Stay Married or die trying.
Perhaps the worst of all is the parents’ refusal to support their children, often, when they need them the most.
Sharing an email by Karishma V.P.
You must have already read the news of the suicide of the AIIMS doctor because her husband was gay. What I did not know, until I read this article (link below) was that his homosexuality was discovered two years ago. She informed her family and both families arrived at a compromise where she decided to accept the fact and continue to live with him. Now after her suicide her parents are filing a case against him.
The fact that a young, educated, financially independent professional woman would choose to continue living with a man who is gay, that her family would encourage or support her decision instead of guiding her to end the marriage right away, shows a great deal about Indian society and its attitudes towards women and marriage even now. The fact that his family was not ready to accept him and he didn’t have the guts to come out of the closet is one thing. The fact that she didn’t value herself more and her family didn’t have the common sense to get her to walk out when she did not is another. Knowing that her family knew this more than 2 years ago makes me feel that they should also be booked for her suicide if the husband is being booked.
To what extent will we go to keep up appearances of marriage in Indian society?
Thanks and regards,