Sharing an email.
I’ve been a regular albeit silent reader of your blog for quite a long time now. I would appreciate it if I could have your views and those of your readers on the following :
Why do many young Indian men say they are interested in dating, but leave the decision of anything on the longer term to their parents? Is “my parents wouldn’t approve” a sort of excuse to pre-empt any kind of long-term relationship?
In this case, if a girl still chooses to date such a man and maybe get into a short-term relationship, does sex remove all chances of a possible future?
How important are age and age difference in a long-term relationship (with the possibility of marriage)? I find that men are willing to date older women, and cite the age difference as an attraction, but they also mention the age gap as being one reason their families would disapprove.
Also, if a couple is compatible (and have worked out their differences, say financial or religious beliefs), then why would any reasonable parent disapprove of the relationship?
I personally don’t believe in an arranged marriage, and my parents are understanding, and I am sure they won’t have any problems so long as they get to meet the man I’m interested in. I have heard of people having to give up someone they are in love with, under family pressure. I do not know if I’m missing something of the larger picture, but how does choosing a partner from the same caste/community assure compatibility and happiness?
I can understand that in case both partners choose to go the arranged marriage route, choosing someone with a similar background would help in finding some common ground, and I also assume both partners get enough time to interact and are not pressurized to say ‘yes’. I find that if I go on a date with someone, the only thing I know at the end of a few hours is whether I want to see that person again. So I can’t understand how one can consent to marry someone after having hardly interacted with them.
I would like to know the views of you and your readers, especially young men.
– A confused young woman trying to understand the complex Indian young man.