Nirbhaya’s Parents Talk to NDTV About Documentary on ‘India’s Daughter’

Let me share this talk from NDTV last evening. Please do watch. 

Leslee Udwin says the documentary shows why the rapists feel no shame or regret. They come from a society where sweets are distributed only when sons are born, where daughters are given only half a glass of milk, where women don’t matter. These rapists feel a woman dead or hurt is not such a “big deal” – they also know they have sympathisers. She is also keen for the documentary to be shown in India, because she believes that that this documentary is going to be eye opening.

Nirbhaya’s Parents Talk to NDTV About Documentary on ‘India’s Daughter’

“… what brought me to India was respect, admiration and being inspired by those extraordinary protesters, the ordinary men and women of India, who went out on the streets, who led the world by example, because I, I myself have been raped. And I say this, it’s very important that I say this because there is no shame that should adhere to me as a result of that, the shame is the rapists. What I’ve discovered on my journey, and if I hadn’t met with these rapists, I wouldn’t have come to the answer I’ve come to, the deep insight I’ve gained, which is that the disease is not the rapist, the disease is the society and we, as a part of that society, must take responsibility for encouraging men to see women as of no value.

You asked me why did I have to meet with the rapists? Because I knew to get a meaningful answer to my question, why do men rape; why does violent rape happen, I had to go to the source. I had to hear it from them. I had to sit and ask them a hundred questions about who the significant women in their lives were, what they think of women, how should a good woman behave, what makes a bad woman. I needed to understand the mentality otherwise I would have made a superficial documentary. …

… the attitude that I understood and perceived in these men is, what’s the big deal? Everyone’s doing it. Why are they looking at us? Isn’t that important for the public to know? Isn’t it important for the public to know that these men have zero remorse? Why do they feel it’s acceptable, because our society makes it acceptable; because when a girl is born, sweets aren’t distributed at her birth; they are distributed at the birth of a boy. A boy is given a full glass of milk. A girl is given half a glass of milk. This is where the problem lies. You tell men that women are of no value. Of course they are going to do what they want with her. Why not?

Also watch what Nirbhaya’s mother has to say.

Please do watch.

 Related Posts:

Why does the Delhi bus rapist blame his victim in prison interview?

21 thoughts on “Nirbhaya’s Parents Talk to NDTV About Documentary on ‘India’s Daughter’

  1. I watched it.My blood boiled when I heard those defence lawyers’ words.I mean, how can they talk such utter bullshit? They seem no different from rapists.They hold the same views as that of rapists.The roots of such thinking lie in our patriarchal society.And IHM, what do you think about Kiran Bedi’s words about having audits of courts for better performance?

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  2. Yes, the public has to know. Of course patriarchy has everything to do with incidents like these. How can it not? When a society collectively relegates women to a rigidly narrow sphere of human endeavor, it is not surprising when there is a backlash against women who do not fit in with that ideal.

    I’m appreciative of her efforts, and I’m disappointed and annoyed that it takes a foreigner to tell us these things. Where is the Indian documentary on the Nirbhaya case? Why aren’t Aaj Tak or Times Now or any of those shrill 24×7 networks airing anything like this on Women’s Day? Why doesn’t the Nation Want To Know This?

    Udwin has the right idea, but it’s certainly not the whole truth. Yes, we are a misogynistic society. Yes, women are second-class citizens in most of India. But even raging misogynists don’t go around inserting rods into the intestines of women that don’t fit their worldview. There are multiple factors at play here. There is a legal element. There is our ailing judicial system. There is a psychological element.
    Delhi in particular, and India in general, is not a mono-culture, and thus there cannot possibly be just one coherent sociological narrative that explains all the brutality against women that cuts across cultures in India.

    Udwin can only see from the outside in. She is not steeped in our languages, our cultures, our societies, our histories, our heritage, our religions, our failings, our chauvinism, our own rabid misogyny. And for that reason, among other reasons, her film – even if it passes all legal barriers – will remain something for the educated and the elite to hem and haw it. The well-exposed and the globalised, the people who already know (whether they admit it or not) that something is very wrong with our society. Meanwhile, people like the rapists themselves will remain in a world far removed. A world where Honey Singh is king, and a woman is a ‘subwoofer’ who needs an amplifier.

    We need films like this, but not films produce in a global lingua franca of words, emotions, texture, composition, and art. We need vernacular that targets the people who aren’t part of the choir we keep preaching to.

    Instead of deriding the woman, let’s pick up the mantle ourselves. From the inside out.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. I saw the entire debate and I must say Hats off to Nirbhaya’s parents who gave birth to a brave daughter who kept fighting while she was being tortured. Nirbhaya’s parents are fighting for justice but our flawed judicial system have been stretching the case. Leslee Udwin should be applauded for making this documentary and this documentary should be released world-wide.
    Let all sensitive minds know what is the mindset of a rapist and how to deal with this disease.
    Bravo Nirbhaya….you’ve inspired thousands of women in our country and across the globe.

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  4. This comes from one of India’s prominent feminists:

    One article describes “Nirbhaya” as “speaking excellent English”. What comes through, then, is a sense of India as a place of ignorance and brutality towards women, that inspires both shock and pity, but also call for a rap on the knuckles from the “civilized world” for its “brutal attitudes”. Nirbhaya, described patronizingly as a speaker of “excellent English” is marked approvingly as a good subject for the global rescue mission.

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  5. I have not watched the interview with Nirbhaya’s parents on the documentary as yet. It must have been so difficult for them to talk about the horror that their daughter went through. Hats off to them for being strong enough to talk about the documentary. Look at what that monster has to say. He blatantly blames Nirbhaya. He knows he will be supported by many. What a pathetic state of affairs! And this documentary is being mentioned in online news portals here in Singapore. It is mentioned that the monster’s views are echoed by many in India (which is true – blame the victim). I came across these comments “why men from the ‘rapist country’ are allowed to live and work here. They bring their dirty thoughts and actions with them.” “I will maintain distance from Indian nationals” “Amazing India? no Raping India”. This is going to strengthen the generalization that Indian immigrants are conservative, do not value women, and are very regressive. Why exactly are we proud of our culture (read patriarchical culture), values or morals?

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    • It’s so ironic that Indians, who are so sensitive to how the world perceives them, do not realise that the best way to change the perception of the world that Indian society is patriarchal and misogynistic, (which is true), is to acknowledge that a deep-rooted problem cannot be wished away.

      This is a country that expends a HUGE amount of time tracking and regulating cricket-related irregularities.

      The Supreme Court has the time and the will to hold emergency hearings at 24 hours notice for IPL and BCCI hearings, yet Nirbhaya’s parents have been made to wait for A YEAR by the Supreme Court.

      What does it say about the deep-rooted disregard for and denial of, sexual violence against women.

      It appears to me that Indian society does not want to adress the issue of sexual violence, ww just want women to shut up, accept all blame for it and suffer in silence.

      Millions of women suffering from sexual violence is not an insult to our dignity, but a documentary that attempts to find a solution is swiftly suppresed?

      What message does this send to future rapists and molestors?

      The message that Indian society sends to men is this: “As a man, you have rights over women. Their bodies are meant for your pleasure and convenience. You have full rights to do anything to a woman. Women don’t matter. They exist to serve men and provide them pleasure. Your rights as a man are more important than women’s suffering and misery.”

      Indian society clearly tells men that they can behave as they wish and a woman will be blamed on stigmatised.

      Carte blanche for men, injustice and silencing for women.

      That’s our understanding of sexual consent.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Sexual crimes against women in India continue to be matters of Indian Men’s Honor and Dishonour. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  7. most of the outrage seems to be directed towards the rapist who expressed such views. I do not understand why people are surprised. Shocked, yes, but not surprised. If he didn’t have such views he wouldn’t have raped. He expressed what millions of people in India secretly feel.
    What is necessary is a long hard look at our culture and a long hard look at the attitudes that allow people to get away with this. The attitude of always always blaming the victim and refusing to understand that there’s anything wrong with indian culture. It has to come from within.

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  8. I do not understand the logic behind banning the documentary. How can presenting the rapist on the TV be equivalent to glorifying or justifying him?
    I am scared and apprehensive about watching the documentary. I know it would make me cry. But I will watch it. And only then would I pass my judgement on whether it did any justice to the cause or not.

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  9. I feed sad that the documentary has been banned in India. I feel they should air and open an discussion. It is ridiculous that this case has been going on for 2 years. No wonder nothing gets done. I guess the authorities are aware of the backlash this would generate if the documentary is aired.

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  10. I am just watching this documentary. BBC has released it earlier, probably fearing a backlash or diplomatic hurdles if they waited for 8th March. I think so far it is very gracefully handled. Will get back with more comments later.

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  11. Just got done watching the documentary. So many quotable quotes in there, i almost punched my laptop screen, hoping to get at the lawyer’s and the rapist’s intestines.
    (The video is on youtube, please watch it before it gets pulled down)

    Here are some of the gems –

    * A female is just like a flower, it gives a good looking, very softness performance, pleasant. A man is a thorn, tough and strong. Flower always needs protection. If you put flower in a gutter it will be spoilt, if you put it in a temple, it will be worshiped. [Ok, so im a flower. Why am i not sitting in a vase? *goes off to find a pretty vase and sit in*]
    * Women are more precious than a diamond or gold, if you leave it on the streets, dogs will eat it. [Not dogs, you will. Animals aren’t that depraved you see. And no, irrespective of what all the world’s poetry say, id rather not be measured against diamonds, rubies, emeralds and gold. Thank you very much.]
    * Indian culture is the best, and there is no place for a woman in it. [Thank heavens! Coz i really really dont want a place in such a ‘culture’]
    * Usne haath pair chalaya, toh humne uski rape ki [Aaah, so for a change it wasn’t her clothes. Btw, tumne jo apna penis chalaya, uska kya karu?]
    * 20% ladkiyan hi sahi hain [He should have proceeded to name those 20% ladkiyan, they owe him big for the certification]

    I am so mad right now. Why anyone would want to ban this is beyond me. These creatures need no protection. Ugh.

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    • “Indian culture is the best” – Yes of raping women at the drop of a hat and then being able to either sweep the matter under the carpet or blame the woman.

      “India has a rich tradition of tolerance” – yes, and passive encouragement of rapists, with defence lawyers being provided to them.

      Why would they want to ban the film? Obviously they don’t want the world to know what a rich culture and traditions we have and want to sweep it under the carpet. Of course the rest of the world has seen it and so have many Indians. They want Indians to continue to delude under the notion of rich culture and heritage and traditions. How else will patriarchy survive?

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  12. “Why does violent rape happen ?” Yes, why ? It happens all over the world all year long and each time there is war or rebellions somewhere the sickening stories happen again. It just never stops.

    Diamonds cut everything including metal, don’t forget that. If women are diamonds then the day they decide to change things individually and collectively it will be forever.

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    • >> Diamonds cut everything including metal

      Riiiiight!!! Yay!!!! Marvelous!!🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
      Really want to pass this comment on to that brain-dead lawyer & see where he tries to hide his face & how he tries to eat his words. LOL LOL.

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  13. Pingback: Should Lawyers ML Sharma and AP Singh be disbarred for their remarks and opinions expressed in the documentary India’s Daughter? | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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