This Video Of An Indian Girl Confronting Her Alleged Harasser On A Flight

What do you think of this video? Can they make public spaces safer for women? What else could the young woman have done?

This Video Of An Indian Girl Confronting Her Alleged Harasser On A Flight Is Going Viral

Is this second video, where it does seem that he is apologising and admitting to having committed ‘a mistake’.

But what if the videos are doctored? Do you think this sort of videos can be compared to mob justice?

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Mob Justice: The Mob does what it decides as right.

Delhi gangrape case: Prime accused Ram Singh commits suicide

‘Angry Mob cut off man’s sensual organ for attempting rape of a girl.’

Allahabad girl Aarti Yadav beats harasser, sets bike on fire

Do you remember this murdered couple who made a ‘dramatic reappearance’?

No second chances for an Indian daughter.

 

49 thoughts on “This Video Of An Indian Girl Confronting Her Alleged Harasser On A Flight

  1. In two days, the girl will be the criminal and the man who did this will be the victim. This is how we turn it around, IHM.

    She caught him, it’s on tape, there were people around and she did it as soon as it happened. I don’t see any cuts, it is a continuous tape. He’s clearly said he needs to apologize, there’s no doubt that he did something he needs to atone for…why do we bring ‘doctored’ into the picture at all?

    Liked by 1 person

      • Dear IHM

        I dont know what the right way to handle a crime, but the only way I know is to handle it yourself first. The Girl DID the righteous thing by standing up for herself in front of all the crowd. There was a similar incident wherein a 65 years old Indian man living in US tried to touch a fellow white woman passenger who was sitting right next to him, She sued him and he has pleaded guilty and it made the top headlines of US daily newspapers.

        Most of the women stay quiet or adjust her seating to avoid making any scene. Touching inappropriately is very common in crowded places, be it bus, crowded markets or now even the planes. Women would need to stand up for themselves. However uploading the videos on social networking sites was not necessary.
        Uploading this vidoe was bit too much and I dont agree to that.

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      • IHM, given the current shoddy justice system in India when it comes to sexual harassment (dismissed as ‘eve teasing’), yes, what the girl did was fantastic! Since the law of the land does not deter unscruplous men (a father of a daughter too!), at least the fear of public shaming will!
        Girls, do not keep quiet when someone misbehaves with you or does not treat you right! Shame the person who did that to you – in public!

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        • And IHM, I respect your opinions very much, but for once I am disappointed that you almost questioned the credibility of this video and the use of such methods to bring justice.

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      • IHM, why do we tend to doubt the victim, be it a rape case or a molestation one like in this video? Shouldn’t we lend support to the already aggrieved victim? Like countless other women, I have been at the receiving end of unwanted touches by perverts when traveling by public transport. Once, on a crowded railway platform, I tried shaming a perpetrator by hitting, running after them, looking for the nearest cop to report the incident (there was none). The looks of co-travelers made me feel that I had done something wrong, That I should feel ashamed,
        I don’t know what is the ‘right’ way of handling a situation like this. This video clearly shows the man saying that he touched her and he’s ready to give her a written apology. Why do you doubt the victim here? I understand your concern about mob justice, but in this case, I think this is the only way the molester could be taught a lesson.

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      • Instances like this show girls that speaking up is okay. For that, this is required. I don’t think he’s going to get much more than a fine and a tiny slap on the wrist for his crime. Most people in India won’t even agree that it is a crime. Until enforcement steps up and does the job, maybe people need to.

        As for this method being abused, every time I say that the dowri laws are abused by women to put men behind bars without a chance to clarify their side, I am told (by other women) that all laws are abused and that it is okay because women have been more oppressed for longer. One more will join that queue.

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      • This happened to DG, at 19 walking on the lonely street back to hostel from and errand a man middle aged poke faced on bicycle grabs her shoulder, she flips runs and throws him in the drain with his bicycle and start screaming for help none of the doors open but from no where few men gathered. Asking DG to forgive him as he was asking for forgiveness. DG was young and naive she wanted to take him to Thana and his wife. Anyway that ended with forgiving and breaking few spokes of bicycle.

        At 25 she is riding a bus back from University feels a dirty fingers on her shoulder and neck, thinks it is not true, second time brushes it again third time flips back punches on the nose of the fat middle aged man snatches his eye glasses and creates a scene. Crowded bus goes silent he asks for forgiveness, she is enraged over few miles ride men come forward to advocate for him, maaf kardo, aage se nahin karega. Really you are taking guarantees you don’t even know the guy? On what basis that you share same anatomy? At his stop he alights and begs for his mangled glasses. She threw them away at him.

        In between many such incidents happened until she left the country. This was and still is common scene across India. In my days we didn’t have camera phones or else I’d have done the same thing. People read men didn’t come to his rescue because they didn’t want to be on the camera.

        What other choice do we have when no one wants to be a witness and courts cumbersome and take ages?
        Public shaming doesn’t solve much in a society where pointing fingers at the woman is a national pass time. Financial losses may do some good.

        As the girl was justified in her anger she said, “Buddhe kahin ke” (damn old man), that ruined it coz’ the naysayers will say if a young man touches you then you are okay with it.

        Peace,
        Desi Girl

        Liked by 1 person

      • IHM, I think the girl did the right thing. Immediate action takes the perpetrator unawares. He is not used to being dealt with this directly. I can imagine how many women the man has already touched wrongly. Yes there are different ways of handling such crimes, but where the frequency of such occurrences are enormous and the wrong doers almost always “get away with it”, this is certainly the best way. I heard the man is in lockup and he will be inside for a while as the law will take its course.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. IHM, that video seems genuine – I watched Part 1 too, which is taken in the airplane. Assume your question about doctoring is hinting at the possible abuse of such video-shaming? I’m in awe of this girl’s courage – she was traveling alone. In the earlier video you can see the rest of the passengers standing by mutely, not offering a shred of support.
    What is the right way to handle such issues, when there is very little support anyway? Shaming these pervs seems a good idea. And yes, while I do get your point about mob justice/slippery slope/abuse of such video shaming, part of me is glad to see this old lecher called out and publicly shamed.

    Also this man is apparently well-educated, has a daughter, is the Chairman of a company and has been in trouble with the law before, not that that matters – he could have been an unemployed, uneducated, childless man and still done the same thing, because it is the patriarchal mindset.

    http://www.newindianexpress.com/states/odisha/article253440.ece?ser
    http://www.newindianexpress.com/states/odisha/Government-steps-in-to-clear-Orind-mess/2013/08/23/article1747935.ece

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  3. The point of the video is this girl’s guts in speaking out about her abuse where for centuries women have remained silent about such things. Anything could be doctored – but in this case it’s unlikely. It’s much more likely that this ‘stud’ of a man is putting about this doctored story.

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  4. “But what if the videos are doctored?”
    – Doesn’t look like it. Specially since they didn’t blur his face.

    “Do you think this sort of videos can be compared to mob justice?”
    – The mob didn’t beat him up or anything. They just recorded his confession/apology (if you could call it that. hes definitely ashamed of getting caught not of what he did). In this case public humiliation is warranted.

    Right way would have been calling the authorities, report to police and register the case. But when you’re violated, logic and rationality will be the last thing n your mind. Your previous harassment experience (where you were helpless) will replay in your mind. Here’s one of them you actually caught and can punish. Cant blame the girl for being a bit victorious cum vindictive.

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  5. Could the video be doctored?
    The video is clearly not doctored.

    Is this mob justice?
    Difficult question. There was no physical violence involved and in fact, there was no mob. Only the victim taking on the perpetrator. Although she did not engage in physical violence, she did engage in public shaming which can be debated as to whether it’s right/wrong.

    What else could the young woman have done?
    Very little. The cops will not take her report seriously. Even if they did register it, will the courts convict him? Even if he is convicted, will he ever serve his term? Highly unlikely. He will pay someone off and they will let him go.

    What do you think of this video?
    On the one hand, I can completely understand her anger and frustration. This inappropriate touching is so commonplace and routine in India. Girls are not expected to raise a hue and cry over it. The attitude seems to be, ‘hey if you don’t want to be touched, then wear a burka and stay at home!’, as if the mere act of going out is a crime for a woman. And it doesn’t matter what you wear – you can wear a saree/salwar/skirt/pants, it doesn’t matter what age you are – you WILL be touched/grabbed/pinched by random men of all ages, all backgrounds, rich/poor/old/young/you name it. It’s really sick.

    On the other hand, the girl could have been more effective, if she had captured through her questions, what happened specifically and what he thought of it. Questions like-
    – describe what you did
    – why did you do it
    – what did you think would happen
    – did you think I would feel embarrased and slink away and tell no one? Is that what you were hoping for?
    – who do you think the shame belongs to, you or me?
    – do you know what it feels like to be touched without permission, to be violated?
    And waited for him to give a complete answer and not interrupt.

    The girl would ask a question, then interrupt him, talk a lot, thereby doing the work of explaining for him. She should let HIM do the work, do the explaining, labor and struggle through the explaining. Asking questions rationally, while conveying outrage, is the best way to record what happened. Then it would be more recording the facts/acknowledgement of the crime and less shaming. It is always better if the criminal feels the shame himself by answering pertinent questions than if the shaming is forced.

    But given the state of mind the girl is in, the general anger women in India feel at the lack of respect and safety, it is highly understandable that there was a lot of anger, frustration, and vindictiveness in that video. I think we are reaching a tipping point. Just one more molester, one more casual grab full of male privilege and it all comes bursting out. Considering everything, I feel she did the right thing, not only for herself, but for overall awareness. There is a clear and immediate link between the crime and the consequence. This man will never again try this with another woman. Not only that, other men watching will have learnt something. Some of the women watching will stand up to someone else next time.

    Liked by 6 people

  6. The girl should have shut up and moved places if she didn’t like it. Imagine filming the respected uncleji and then uploading on social media!

    What if the people around get excited and jump up to help the girl (like they always do in India)? She could have simply left it to the long hand of the law and all would have gone well (like it always does in India)!

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    • No, no. She should have learnt her lesson and never left the safety of her house (so the friendly next-door uncle could try similar tricks).

      Women have no business travelling alone in aircrafts. As befitting their status, they should take the bus and get even more harrassed. Of course it would still be their fault.

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  7. What do you think of this video? I am kind of glad that women are standing up and not taking molestation lying down.

    Can they make public spaces safer for women? Yes, especially if the men are educated or higher middle class.

    What else could the young woman have done? I agree with Priya, She should make him sweat and talk more.

    On the other hand, there was nothing else she could do expect shaming him because what is going to happen if she were to go to police? He seems to be some MD kinda guy and they would let him go with no penalty.

    Is this second video, where it does seem that he is apologising and admitting to having committed ‘a mistake’. – He claims murders are also mistakes and ‘unintentional’. WTH? So people should just move on. He clearly is unapologetic and thought he would not be questioned.

    But what if the videos are doctored? – Clearly not.

    Do you think this sort of videos can be compared to mob justice? – Yes and No. Nobody beat him up. Yes, crowds can be used to humiliate people and shame them but clearly, that is the only thing that seems to work in such cases because our institutions are close to inefficient and practically useless in such cases.

    We have to understand that mob justice thrives because the institutions of justice are inefficient. If the courts and police we re swift in action, I do not think mob justice will occur and even if they did, they would be dealt with strictly in the courts.

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    • “Can they make public spaces safer for women? Yes, especially if the men are educated or higher middle class.”

      wow, the classism.

      Rich men can be just as awful if not more because they have the power and money to get away with it.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. She has done a nice job. We should encourage reaction like this in case of molestation only then it will stop. Molestation happens because people know women will not respond and she can be shamed easily.

    In video , Man said its a mistake . So even educated men do not realize that its not a mistake , violating a person’s body is a grave crime. This will be taken seriously only women will stand against it.

    I have one more question ? In case if another video comes up in media that the girl has shamed some other man for this kind of crime then will we question the claim of girl? I feel sorry for Rohtak girls as media painted them boys beater. Is it like girls have only one chance to stand against molestation. If she stand against it next time then she is used of making hue and cry. She is a harasser, boy beater, shameless.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Not only that. A motivated group of people circulated repeated claims over social media that the sisters had assaulted “an innocent man”.

      Of course, men are always innocent. It’s those nasty women who create a stir when a man’s just trying to have some fun.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Its good that the girl videod this incident. Its only through having something concrete like a video is further conversation possible or it becomes too easy to make this he-said, she-said. A case in point being the ray rice video.

    Only after the video became public was there all round conversation about this kind of behavious should be handled by a governing body. Its easy to sush such an incident and handle it discreetly without any real questions asked otherwise

    Ratan Kongara

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I agree with everybody that we have very little hope for justice via the legal procedures, but I would rather fight for better reporting and conviction rates and quicker sentences.

    I wish a copy of the video had been shared with the Police first.

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    • I understand your concerns here …. I feel uncomfortable with public shaming too …. but here it was more acknowledgement and definition of the crime in a climate where such crimes and concerns are routinely dismissed, belittled, ignored, and silenced.
      What he did is not even seen as a crime in India. (“C’mon he was just being a man.” OR “Maybe she provoked him.” OR “Does she have no shame? How can she draw attention to herself like this?”)
      The woman’s outrage corrects all 3 misconceptions. 1) Yes, it IS a crime. 2) She is not responsible for his actions and 3) No, the shame belongs to the criminal, not the victim.
      We need to define and understand what a crime is and for that we need to understand and acknowledge what someone’s rights are.
      The girl did a fantastic job of shouting to the world what her rights her – the right to travel safely on an airplane and the right to her own body.

      Like

    • IHM

      I agree to your viewpoint of reporting to the autorities as a sensible citizen of our country, but then do we have effective judicial system in place? This man is rich , he would simply throw 10,000 Rs to police and constables, they ll close the file and this man will again try to molest a girl at the very next opportunity he gets.
      do you think reporting this issue to police would stop him ?

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  11. //IHM, why do we tend to doubt the victim, be it a rape case or a molestation one like in this video? Shouldn’t we lend support to the already aggrieved victim?//

    I am doubting the video.
    All we have is a video posted by anonymous (?), a woman’s voice, an alleged molester facing the camera, admitting (on camera) that he committed ‘a mistake’.

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    • IHM,
      What ought to be in the video for you to believe it? What would make you say this video is definitely genuine and nothing about it is doctored?
      Just want to know what exactly it is about the recording that ‘doesn’t seem right’ to you.
      Because, if, like you,the court dismisses this video, then all the efforts of who ever uploaded this video, hoping for some justice ,will go waste.
      So,if tomorrow I face this issue and want to record it, what should I be doing differently?
      P.S. I do have an Indigo flight scheduled this Saturday and I am shit scared.

      Like

      • I think all crimes should be taken seriously and the law and the rights of every citizen should be respected.

        A video recording of any crime should be treated with the same respect, following the required procedures.

        I am not saying the video is doctored (because I don’t know) – I am saying it should have been handed to the police instead of sharing it on social media, where checking for any editing of the recording would (or should) be a part of the investigation. I realise that such crimes are difficult to prove, but still they should be investigated.

        Public spaces and public transport are not safe for Indian women – what would make them safer is certainty of Justice (Punishment if proven guilty like in every other crime) and a fear of legal consequences. Every incidence of sexual harassment should be taken seriously. Taking a crime seriously includes ensuring Justice to all concerned.

        Media Campaigns to create awareness about women’s right to public spaces, clear warnings to sexual criminals (instead of excuses that our elected representatives offer for such criminals), clear talk about consent in any sexual activity and

        Do you think should sexual harassment should be treated different from other crimes?

        Here is the man’s version, maybe he is lying, maybe he is not.

        //Speaking to TOI, Jhunjhunwala rubbished the charges. “My intention was not to misbehave with her. I accidentally touched her hand because of the jerk during landing. She is making a mountain out of a molehill,” said Jhunjhunwala, whose family members stay in Bhubaneswar. “The video did not carry my version in which I apologized and said I accidentally touched her. I am going to file a defamation suit against her for tarnishing my image in social media,” he said. //

        http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/62-yr-old-NRI-touches-girl-on-flight-arrested/articleshow/46114501.cms

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  12. I really don’t think the video is doctored/staged. The anonymity could be because the woman does not want to reveal her identity to a supposedly rich man who could, any day, do something drastic (read acid attacks and other types of harassment) – which is not uncommon in India.

    Coming to the more critical question – does public shaming actually help reduce crime?
    My instinct says that someone who feels true guilt will probably not do it again. But shame? That’s easy to conquer. If you’re ashamed, you will easily blame others for your misfortune and move on. You don’t learn from your mistakes and end up repeating your crimes.

    See that smile in in the second video? It’s more embarrassment than guilt. He doesn’t regret having done it; he regrets having done it to this woman. The next time he chooses his prey, he’ll look for someone who is not “this type” (smart? educated? I don’t know what this “type” is). His troubles will be over soon – he will convince his family this girl was mistaken, pay a small fine, be let off with a warning, etc. Public memory is short, so even people will forget about it and move on. So let’s be under no delusion that this guy will change.

    Will this deter other people from touching women in public? Maybe. Maybe not.

    But the girl? She has probably inspired other women to stand up for their rights. Including the ones that were on the flight. And that is why I actually like the video. More women need to know it’s okay to feel offended; that men do not have the right to touch them without their consent.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A similar incident happened with me while I was travelling in a bus , with my father, after taking a pmt paper which had gone very badly, I had a splitting headache and I realised something crawling on my hip. I saw the guy behind my seat had his head resting on the back rest of my seat, trying to look asleep. I reached my hand behind my waist and next time he poked his fingers from below the backrest, I caught them, just to be sure that I was not mistaken. On a bad day, it was all i could take. I could have screamed or told my papa or whatever. Enraged, I twisted his fingers, got up, grabbed a fistful of his curly hair and pulled it with all my will, banging his head on the backrest rod a couple of times, silently. When he looked up red faced, I told him to go to the back of the bus. No extra words, no argument, he quietly went to the backseat. he had got off the bus midway somewhere so we could not report him. If he felt no guilt , at least I shamed him. I did not want help from a busful of people, nor did it happen
      . Though papa was there if it went wrong. I hope he would remember it the next time he thought of doing something nasty.
      I felt really good after this. Whether such men learn or not, I have learnt that I have a responsibility to speak up, or nobody will know and I will suffer silently.

      Liked by 2 people

  13. This video made me cringe! And I thought why? I mean here’s a girl who stood up for herself and shamed the abuser. But I simply couldn’t warm up to it. And then i figured out my discomfort came from this whole sense of what you rightly called mob justice where the “victim” is out to punish the “abuser.” You are right, making the video was the right thing to do, but instead of shouting at the guy and demanding he bring his daughter so the girl could talk to her, it should have been handed over to the authorities as proof before being uploaded for all to see.

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    • I don’t think there’s any real proof of the ‘crime’. There’s only a video where she’s accusing him, and one where he’s saying he made a mistake. He hasn’t admitted to touching her on video, so the evidence is circumstantial at best!

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  14. Dear IHM ,

    We all know what happens when you hand over the video to authorities . This isn’t a crime , it is in fact a very acceptable behaviour. Most women who travel using public transportation are subjected to it while others just watch on. This happened to me so many times , and every one has seen it so often , they are desensitized.

    The “authorities” will do nothing – after all nothing happens for rape cases either … So this incident just pales in comparison to all other crimes out there.

    Yes, the video shames this man and he completely deserved it . This girl had the guts and I applaud her for what she did !

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  15. What she did was smart and brave and should be repeated. Social media is such a great tool to spread news quickly. Though he was apologetic, his ‘sorry’ was only verbal. He seemed to be disgustingly amused by the attention he was getting from the girl.
    At least now the news will reach his children, grand children, family and friends and that is when the real shame will hopefully set in. This is a great deterrent. We may soon find videos of our own fathers, brothers, friends and partners! Indian men – all the same.
    Seriously, I am losing all hope for us women! I don’t want to castrate all men, I just want to kill them. I’d rather not save the 5% good ones in favour of 95% crap we have lying around. The world will be a much better place.

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    • If you think his family will shame him, you are mistaken. The family will blame the woman and will truly believe that the man was blameless.

      Who will defend him most strenuously? His wife, daughter, sister and mother. In India, women are conditioned to defend their men no matter how wrong or perverse their behaviour.

      The young woman will be castigated by her family. People will lecture her on the dishonour that she brought to her family.

      “Who will marry a woman who made such a spectacle of herself?”

      In India, the woman is always blamed, never the man.

      This enables a culture of shaming and silencing. The men’s behaviour is tacitly condoned and women are further discouraged from speaking up.

      The Indian attitude to sexual exploitation has always been to turn a blind eye to it.

      Liked by 3 people

      • U know, you’re unfortunately right. So there is no hope but let’s still speak up. We’re called bitches, let’s act like one and bite these assholes back!

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        • Actually, I think you are BOTH right (Neha and NC). Yes, his family (including nay especially women) will defend him. But there is a sense of shame here that cannot be erased. The great Indian culture thrives on “honor”. We’re obsessed with it. We don’t believe in second chances. Within the context of this mindset, the video does put a dent in the man’s going about his life with a business as usual attitude. There was a case here of an Indian American college student harassing a girl on a date (we know this family in a distant way – friend of a friend). It got talked about on social media within his friends circle. His parents, a few years later for looking for an arranged match for him from India. They had and continue to have great difficulty finding a a willing girl/family from India willing to “see” him. The word spread via facebook and the damage was done. Of course, he may eventually find someone, but right now he’s having difficulty living down this incident.

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  16. Deeply disturbed by all this.
    Just don’t know what to say!
    Can’t believe a man in his sixties can have such uncontrollable urges.
    I recall Clinton, Tejpal, Strauss Kahn, Berlusconi, Asaram Bapu, Abhishek Sanghvi
    May be I alone am weird?

    No, the video is not doctored, in my opinion.
    The man is clearly guilty.
    This is not mob justice. The girl is all alone. Where is the mob? Where is the violence?

    The girl did the right thing. Before the era of mobile phones she wouldn’t have had a chance. It would simpy be her word against his.
    Even now, I don’t know if the case against him will stand up in a court of lawt The law is a stickler for technicalities procedure and precision.
    Some clever lawyers, given the right monetary incentive will find a loophole through which this man will somehow wriggle out.
    His financial clout will help him do it.
    But the humiliation is something he cannot escape. He is presently in the police lockup and I am glad at least that much has been achieved. Embarrassment and humiliation among family, friends and peer circles is one punishment he will not be able to avoid.
    The next time he travels by air, I am sure he will put several rows of seats between him and the nearest female passnger that his eye can spot.

    Hat’s off to this spunky girl!
    Regards
    GV

    Liked by 3 people

    • It’s not that he had “uncontrollable urges”. He simply did not learn to respect boundaries. He has probably consistently disrespected boundaries, sexual and otherwise, and gotten away with it. No consequence, no learning.

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  17. I saw this video yesterday and what made it more disgusting were the 2 or 3 men standing at the back DOING NOTHING.. This is why criminals walk away free and have there way because NO ONE DOES anything.. even some of the women standing NONE of them said a work.. I am sure i heard some saying “chalo chalo or something on that term as the flight probably had landed ..

    they were more in a hurry to go then talk to this man who surly had done something wrong.. WHAT wrong I don’t know as I also believe that need to hear both side of the stories.. (such is my job I need to hear both stories).. but nevertheless the man was apologising so it is obvious he has done something wrong…

    it may that he was under pressure fearing retaliation from the public he apologised.. I am not going to comment on that issue ..

    BUT the spectators were mute IDIOTS.. who probably saw everything and as usual are willing to be mere spectators .. I am sure law will take it course and find what the truth is .. at least here in UK if i was case in-charge I would have gone to the details of interviewing each of the passengers and taken their statements not sure how the police works out there

    I do wish and hope that PEOPLE speak up and if they see something wrong they do something rather than only shout hoarse is its one of their own ..

    Liked by 3 people

  18. It’s always nice to see how women who are bold enough to confront their molester are the ones who are termed crazy or overreacting. Why are we even giving this tharki old man the benefit of the doubt by asking if the video has been doctored? Everyone chooses their own method of retaliation. I stand by her choice.

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  19. It was a good thing to share the video because it’s been seen all over the World and people are leaving comments everywhere congratulating the lady ; the vido shows foreigners that Indian women have character, and it is an emulation for other victims to stand up and confront the perpetrators. When one person stands up, followed by 2, 5,10, 100… then mentalities start to change. There is no other way.

    Feeling compassion for the perpetrators is very grand but sometimes, you just need to stop overthinking. If the guy is worried about his e-reputation, he can start behaving porperly for a start.

    Like

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