FS shared this link, written by a daughter in law.
‘An Open letter from every Indian Mother-in-law?‘
What do you think? Does the letter apply to all Indian mothers in law?
Who does it not apply to? How do those it does not apply to cope with becoming mothers in law?
Do take a look at some of the points:
1. My whole world and only source of strength are my children.
IHM: Should be ‘male children’. (Which is why male children are prayed and fasted for, and sex selected).
What is the source of strength for women who do not have male children?
How do mothers of married daughters handle becoming mothers in law?
If the male children are ‘the whole world’ for one spouse, where are the non-male children and the spouse in the picture?
2. I may appear dominating; but deep down, I only take hold of things only to lessen your burden.
IHM: A sincere effort to ‘lessen the burden’ would ensure that the effort is not becoming a burden, and also is not in anyway unwelcome.
3. I may appear intrusive; but deep down, I am actually protective and concerned for you.
IHM: Adult children deserve to be treated with more respect than this. Insecurity and a desire to control sound like more likely reasons.
Indian women need a break from with Concern and Protective instinct. Expressed very well in this video meant for Indian men. I think it applies to the entire Indian society.
4. I may be appear obsessive of your husband; but deep down, its the motherly instinct that nature gave me.
IHM: Not mother nature but Patriarchy given ‘instinct’ or else all the mothers of married daughters in traditional families would also possess this instinct.
5. I may appear stiff and stubborn; but please don’t judge a book by its cover. I am willing to adapt.
IHM: What’s needed is not ‘adapting’ and ‘adjusting’ but,
Having a life of one’s own,
Respecting personal boundaries.