Inter sex mingling in coed schools – permitted or not?

15-year-old girl jumps from 10th floor apartments

BENGALURU: A 15-year-old girl allegedly jumped to her death from the window of her 10th floor flat in south-east Bengaluru on Monday afternoon.

…  The girl had been suspended from her HSR Layout school over her ties with a male classmate. [link]

Reproduced below is Monali Mohala’s father Dr Mahala’s version of  the events:

With Baby gone, our lives have been destroyed

On Monday, Monali was allegedly seen talking closely with and exchanging a hug with a boy student in the field during lunchtime. The hug was a friendly gesture since the two thought they might not see each other as often after the exams. This was the ‘objectionable behaviour’ my daughter reportedly displayed.

 

How did that warrant such a stern punishment? My daughter and the boy were made to stand in the corridor for over two hours, and they had not even eaten lunch. She was hungry, angry, and depressed when she came home and read the letters left on the table just as my wife went inside the room to get ready to come meet me.

 

The language used in both letters is derogatory and shocking – as though Monali was some petty criminal! We are not living in the 16th century anymore; our attitude and outlook toward adolescents, especially in co-educational schools, needs to change.
Counselling sessions and gentle advice should be the order of the day, keeping in mind how sensitive and volatile teenagers are. Our daughter is gone, and we feel like we have nothing left to live for anymore, but instead of targeting the school, we want to try bringing a change in the system.

We seem to have a long, long way to go. Also, this was not how coed schools were in 70s and 80s.

Here are some questions I too would like to ask.

Inter sex mingling in coed schools – permitted or not?

What’s the rule? What’s the norm for inter sex mingling in coed schools? This question has arisen after Monali’s death.

Bangalore University had, a few years ago, come out with a rule  to stop boys and girls sitting next to each other and asked them to  have only necessary interaction with each other. This rule fell into disuse due to widespread opposition to it from both within and outside the student community.

However, our information is that many co-ed schools do enforce it informally, and do not allow boys and girls to sit together in the higher classes. They even go so far as to regulate their movements and curtail dialogue between specific individuals if they suspect a growing closeness between them within the campus. The male teaching staff keep an eye on the boys and the female staff on the girls. First course of action is a warning, then counseling, next, the parents are informed and finally they are summoned and the child suspended. The use of CCTVs’ to monitor their activities on campus are not uncommon.

Schools both feel and are held responsible by parents and public for such untoward events.

Related Links and Posts:

“According to my mom, friendship with guys should always be limited to academics, nothing personal.”

“She was warned several times and was used to unethical practices like friendship with boys.”

By an Indian Teenager – “Sometimes it seems like every single thing I do has the potential to be something ‘provocative’.”

Sexual abuse victim thrown out of school for being a bad influence on other students.

‘The liberties that are guaranteed to our citizens, cannot be stretched beyond limits nor can such freedom be made weapons to destroy our fundamental values or social establishments like families’

Love Marriages spoil the Family System of our Nation.

How illegal bans on Valentine’s day and birthday parties are connected with dowry deaths and sex selection.

Boys and girls holding hands.

Don’t fall in love NOW!

“Wonder how I survived for 4 years in this college!!”

No Education For The Fashion Conscious?

52 thoughts on “Inter sex mingling in coed schools – permitted or not?

  1. Oh goodness! It is unbelieable that schools can do something like this! I can’t even begin to imagine what the poor child must have gone through to take this extreme step. Heart breaking, to say the least. Having gone to a coed school all my school life, I can vouch for the fact that it is a great environment. It is great to grow up treating the other sex as just people, and not some mysterious set of people we should never interact with. How can school authorities have such mindsets, is beyond me. And the girl’s father is right, the system has to change, the mindset has to change..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is so sad! I cannot believe such things still exist. I was suspended from my school for three days in 1992 ( as a 6 year old) for being ‘friends’ with a boy. For the first time he took food from my box (or I took, something lame like that), we were both made to kneel down outside the class in a disrobed state – yes, his shirt was removed and he was with his vest and my pinafore’s shirt buttons were removed. I think I kept quiet for a while and then started crying. At this, my teacher started asking me questions if he was my ‘husband’ and if I was ‘sharing’ because of that. On this, I stood up and cried loudly, threw a tantrum and hurled stuff on the teacher and ran to the entrance of the school. Following this “idiotic” behavior, I was suspended for three days.

    I got home and kept sobbing. I had planned to feign stomach ache and take days off. Amma found something was wrong and forced me ( I was too ‘ashamed’ of being disrobed and just wanted to keep quiet and forget it. It affected me a great deal in that age). On knowing, she marched to my school around 6 pm and met with the principal to address the issue. The next day, she took me to school in coloured clothes and asked to meet the teacher. She had a loud fight with everyone – the teacher, correspondent, principal and many others. She was mad, angry and disgusted and went on to say she will get human rights folks, education ministry etc and ask them to declare the school shut for such behavior.

    Schools like these need to be reprimanded, their licenses suspended and an inquiry done. It affects kids in ways more than one and can be very distressing! Needless to say, I was pulled off the school and spent 6 months odd at home before joining another place.

    Later in 2000, had another freakish incident where the school asked my mother to ‘apologise’ for my behavior. I had responded back to a guy’s love letter saying yep, we could be friends for now and see. Meet me for a cake sometime😀. School got this letter somehow and screamed at us. They suspended him and because it’s ‘dishonourable’ for a teenage girl to be sent out of school ( they reserved that for girls who eloped or got pregnant, I think), they asked me mom to apologise.She met them and explained how I am just ‘discovering’ infactuation and it’s normal and how she is cool with us meeting for cake too.

    The point is – crazy schools like these exist. It is sad, stupid and so scary. How does one trust their kids with them for 8+ hours a day? And more importantly, what kind of values/ideas are they teaching kids if they ban 15 year old’s talking with each other? I am suddenly feeling so thankful for having mom reason it out with me. I was a highly emotional child too and could have done something similar ( at least attempted) had she not been there!

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    • How absolutely disgusting that those teachers would do this to a child! I really have to commend your mom (and you) for handling it well.

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      • Oh, this school probably continues such practices. they are well known for their academic track records and people flock because of it!
        It still baffles me sometimes, how she managed it.

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        • A school in which I studied in Chennai once paraded a boy after stripping him.I have no clue what his “crime” was. Wonder how many schools actually do that and how the f@#^ do they get away with it? People are treated better in prisons in this country than in schools.

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    • Appalling school, and a a wonderful, rational, balanced mother.

      If other parents acted similarly, perhaps fewer children would grow up to become such horrible educators and administrators.

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      • Lot of mothers probably would be happy that the school was being such a big bully. The sad reality is that many parents willingly admit their children into such tyrannical institutions thinking that it’ll teach them “discipline”.

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    • I am in my forties and have been to school all over India.

      I am more than a decade older than you and cannot think of a single similar incident.

      As adoloscents, most of my classmates, male and female, had crushes and infatuations which were mostlt ignored by the teachers.

      I remember how, as 14-year-olds, my friends and I would obsessively stalk this Adonis from a senior class.

      We would skulk outside his class to catch a glimpse of him; hate on his “girlfriend” and make royal asses of ourselves.

      Are we regressing? I remember the desperate measures we took as adoloscents to attract the attention of the opposite sex. Short skirts, gelled hair, snappy haircuts and the joyful sharing of secret notes and greeting cards.

      I honestly think that schools have become more regressive and controlling in the intervening decades.

      Liked by 1 person

        • We are not regressing. You would be surprised at how open most of the teenagers in ‘good’ schools are and how little the teachers care . But stories about that don’t make good news articles😉

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      • We are not regressing. It’s just like rape – child abuse has just started being recognised as abuse and that children are individuals who have rights. Earlier, parents would not care about what their children want, now they do to some extent.

        It also depends on the school and the city. Two schools I went to were very progressive. One was so-so and one was terrible.

        IHM, plenty of co-ed schools were like this in the 80s and the 90s. The incidents just did not make it to the papers.

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  3. I realize that I’m probably raising more answers than I’m answering here, but isn’t a school’s job primarily to ensure that children are exposed to the various disciplines (yes, I’m using that word deliberately), realize their potential, and do well in a specific discipline?

    How is that objective going to be met when schools are constantly trying to teach students how “different” boys and girls are, and how they should avoid touching each other because our country’s “culture” depends on it; and how this “culture” is so important that a few suicides can be disregarded as just collateral damage?

    Why not just let children be children, and not “boys” and “girls”? Why not leave the ‘disciplining’ to the parents? Maybe raise behavioral red flags as and when required, and just focus on the primary objective?

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    • I think part of the problem is that parents expect the schools to be responsible for this sort of censorship. It is easier for university students to protest and create a furore than for school children, who have not really experienced life yet and who are still quite emotionally dependent on their parents. That said, I have seen some universities that have a very school-like atmosphere. I found it disagreeable.

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      • I agree with you Fem. The culture of a school is atleast somewhat dictated by the kind of families who send their kids to that school.
        Even though this young woman did not belong to a family with regressive values , she went to a school that punished her for not abiding by their idea of ‘morality’.

        I think it was a shame that she was humiliated to the extent of taking her own life.

        I cannot imagine how her parents must be feeling, but I wish the school could be penalised in some way, if only to set a precedent that children cannot be humiliated.
        The reluctance to use excessive physical discipline in schools has come about through legal belief , as far as I am aware.

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        • Sadly, no. NPS is very well-regarded in Bangalore. It has a reputation for “discipline” and a narrow focus on academics.

          I know many alumni who tell harrowing tales of incessant bullying by teachers, public shaming of students for their lacklustre academic performance and a fixation with “discipline”.

          The group’s founder Dr Gopalakrishna, remains unrepentant and is standing by the principal, Chitra Rao.

          In a half-page interview to the TOI, he bemoaned the volatility and unnecessary sensitivity of students “these days”.

          It’s also equally true that many parents approve of such draconian and insensitive measures to “discipline” their children.

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  4. I sometimes find it difficult to believe that so many people in this day and age seem steeped in attitudes that are so blatantly outmoded.

    A fundamental invasion of privacy exists here; Even minors have a right to some degree of privacy in their lives, especially from people who are not their parents, and there are some things that a school or a university simply has no business regulating, including a student’s private life. If schools don’t presume the right to tell students which friends they can and cannot talk to, why presume this right when the friend is of the opposite sex?

    Schools say that parents hold them responsible for ‘untoward’ incidents. This doesn’t justify such draconian measures, for several reasons:

    1. There is no evidence at all that such measures reduce harassment or violence against women, and there is a growing body of evidence that suggests that in fact segregation >increases violence against women. (e.g. 2014 Norwegian Military Study )

    2. Even if schools are ultimately responsible for incidents that happen on their campus (and legally, this is highly debatable), this doesn’t automatically necessitate an extreme and paranoid response. Suspending students for hugging the opposite sex isn’t the only way to fight sexual violence; in fact, as I mentioned, it’s the wrong way.

    3. Even if such measures do in fact reduce sexual violence (and they don’t), schools have failed to take into account the psychologically damaging effects of creating segregated spaces and harshly condemning and humiliating young, volatile students for activities that, far from being crimes, aren’t even harmful in any demonstrable way.

    It’s time for schools to stop relying on ‘common sense’ for their policies. If they are truly serious about reducing sexual violence, they need to evolve a serious policy based on empirical evidence. They also need to weigh this overall policy against the psychological well-being of their students. And finally, they need very much to reject pressure from overzealous parents to enforce draconian rules; parents can enforce their rules on their own children, but they have no right to impose those rules on other children as well.

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    • Jay, who said this is about combating sexual violence?!

      These schools and the parents who send their children to these schools don’t give a crap about it. As long as the girls dress properly and obey their elders and concentrate on their studies, sexual violence can’t happen to them, can it now?

      This is about social control of children that the majority of the parents want the schools to enforce and about simple economics of market perception. If they ‘allowed’ hugging between the sexes, prospective parents would be turned off and choose another school for their children. At least, that is the perception but if parents are actually thinking differently (I don’t think they are), they are doing nothing to send the message across.

      As long as parents / society does not change, schools are not going to change either. As long as we allow educational institutions to practice discrimination in one form or the other on the basis of their affiliations, we cannot really enforce standard laws regarding basic human rights of the students. Parents are the real consumers, not the students. So it’s their interests the schools will protect, not the students’

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      • “Jay, who said this is about combating sexual violence?!”

        Well, the schools say so, and some parents say so.

        Please understand that I’m not affirming the truth of this; only pointing out that their actions are wrong even if they are acting in good faith.

        Your point about market economics is valid. As you probably know, similar arguments have been made by corporations against hiring women or minorities in customer-facing occupations: the consumers would not want that.

        But it’s important to understand that we do not live in a classically libertarian society where the market dictates what people can and cannot do. We live in a country where educational institutions are already highly regulated in many ways. When I say that parents have ‘no right’ to impose their ideas on other students, I’m really advocating for the idea that schools must follow rules laid down by an authority which is more reasonable and empirical in its approach than a set of aggrieved parents. In particular, segregation is a form of sexual discrimination and should therefore be illegal.

        You’ve cogently pointed out that if there is a body of parents opposed to such things, they have largely been silent. I think this is true and disappointing, and perhaps one of the major reasons that schools continue to segregate students by sex and violate their basic rights at will. In the absence of such a parent body, it is the government that must act. Unfortunately, they have shown no signs of doing so, because political debate in our country rarely touches these issues at all, let alone in meaningful, constructive ways.

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        • I wasn’t disagreeing with you. I was just pointing out that in most cases, schools don’t take these steps to end sexual assaults, but merely to emphasise that the “culture” of the schools is in line with the parents’ culture. I agree that the government must take steps and not let it be dictated by a market economy, but the government is also clearly unwilling to take these steps. Basically, we are on the same page.

          Liked by 1 person

    • Perhaps you are not familiar with the new proposal mooted by junior colleges in Bangalore; wholeheartedly supported by the government’s education department.

      It envisages continous surveillance of female students. Female students will be required to sign in register before leaving college.

      They will be asked to provide information about their whereabouts after college hours, provide the names of male friends that they associate with.

      If a female student is seen keeping frequent male company, she will be reprimanded and her parents informed about her “behaviour”.

      A lot of these measures are impractical and will likely die a quiet death; but they are an insight into the minds of our “eminent educationists”.

      That’s the perfect way to combat sexual violence. Impose even more restrictions on female students and penalise and shame them for spending time with boys.

      This is the average Indian’s thought process and his understanding of relationships between the sexes.

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  5. Such a devastating news and why this happened? school suspension for hugging a boy.
    Ridiculous. These are so called people trying to save thier ‘great’ culture from westernization.
    School authority or parents, all are involved. Now since their daughter is dead, they are talking about orthodox and suppressed mindsets, But if she was alive, I am sure they would have reprimanded their daughter about all the sanskaars and culture and would have made her feel ashamed of herself of even more.
    Protectors of our culture…damn!

    Liked by 1 person

      • IHM, not that we can take whatever TOI says as the truth. But if the parents were indeed the sensible sort, I think the suicide could have been rpevented. The mother would have asked the daughter to ignore and just get on with life. What do you think?

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        • I don’t know Arpita… but I do believe the parents’ version over any other version. Educational institutions are known to moral police. The father here does not seem to view a hug as wrong.

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      • According to the link you yourself shared: Reports indicate that the girl’s mother brought her back home by 3pm, and advised her to concentrate on her studies. The two had an argument, and a distressed Monali ran into the master bedroom, locking it from the inside. She then opened the French windows and leapt to her death.

        This clearly shows that the mother did not handle the issue properly. She ought to have unconditionally supported her daughter and told her that her parents are on her side. A teenager is often very volatile in their emotions. They need guidance and friendship from the people they trust the most, not this kind of ambiguous advice, which basically translates to: “Stay within your limits and don’t displease the authorities.” It also conveys: “I don’t condemn the criminals, but I condemn you.”

        It’s also a really irritating trait of Indian parents that as soon as a teenager or even a young adult wants to explore relationships or the world in general, they immediately resort to the ‘concentrate on your studies / career’ advice. WHY? Do they know that the person is going to quit studying altogether just because they now have a relationship in their life? Its ridiculous and does not help. The only time parents should advice such concentration is when a child’s grades have actually fallen badly. Otherwise, it’s just an inability or lack of desire to deal with the issues and needs of a growing up child.

        So yes, I agree with FS. The parents may not be the honour killing types (that’s quite clear), but they aren’t liberal and understanding either.

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  6. Quite a few schools do this and quite a few parents expect te school to do this, or should i say want the schools to enfore this. They dont understand that if we dont teach the kids to react to the opposite sex normally they will have problems later on, Half the population is not going ot miraculously vanish. one needs ot get along with the opp sex .
    My boys used to go to a popular school in mumbai, where talking and working together was frowned upon, not openely but there was subtle discrimination if you talked ot a boy or girl. i have been asked casually or i should say informed during a PT meeting that girls get into our car when the boys are picked up!!!! i was shocked the first time such nasty thoughts that too on the part of educators. of course they got a ride, they were coming home to do HW which was much easier in our home where we had a cook who kept food ready . they prefered not to go to an empty house. what is wrong in that. i had to tell the teacher that not only do they ride in our car my boys actually dropped them home by bike later in the evening- and ate at their homes too (authentic punjabi khana is always an attraction )🙂 not to mention playing co-ed volleyball at home and actually going out to dinner.. gasp the horror!!!!
    Such regressive mentality.not only teachers, it’s neighbours, society in general, I’ve seen the raised eyebrows when my boys go out with friends. and questions about ‘ be careful’ ,’ girffreind kya?’ !!! what business is it of the society to decide who is freinds with home??? Im glad my kids had the oppurtunities to socialize with girls , they are at ease with them and i hope have learnt to treat them as just another human being. of course they have had crushes, infatuations, girlfriends, broken up etc., its part of life how else will they know who they are fine with. I just wish adults sat back and just watched them. their idiotic antics are quite a time pass🙂

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  7. Oh my, this is heartbreaking😦

    Parents are the only ones who can fight this. But for that, parents’ mindsets have to change. As Fem said, they all think alike – parents and educators – they don’t want the boys or girls to “get any ideas” about the opposite sex, and then one day at 25 or 30, suddenly have sex with a total stranger selected by the parents.

    Parents who think differently and disagree with our “great culture” must work on demanding
    that the school have a published rule book, which is comprehensive and clearly lays out specific incidents and how the school will deal with them. This way, progressive parents can keep their children out of regressive schools. Also, if the school acts randomly, and not in accordance with the rule book, parents have a legal course of action.

    In the US, public schools are subject to school laws laid out by the state government, so California schools may have a different guidelines from Alabama schools. Private schools have their own sets of rules (Christian schools, charter schools, some very academic schools).
    Regardless of each school’s criteria, all students are protected by the general laws of the country. For instance, public humiliation of a student or even private humiliation (invasive searches) are serious offenses, regardless of school rules. Having said that though, there have been incidents where certain schools have behaved in a callous, moronic way. However the difference (from countries like India) is that you can make some noise about it and you will be heard. There are certain laws that will protect your child, that no school authority can try to break. Another big difference is that parents fight for children’s rights even when the child involved in the incident is not theirs.

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    • But doesn’t US have huge problem of drugs,promiscuity, teenage pregnancies in schools which make certain level of rules and strictness required ??
      Why would parents want to fight against such rules ? Peer pressure is number one reason for many to be initiated in drugs,smoking and drinking in teenagers !!

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      • I’m referring to rights here. Not to crimes. Every human being has certain inalienable rights. For instance, even a murderer has the right to a fair trial. A child who has flouted school rules (if they were ever documented and regardless of how vapid they were), then the child still has the right to not be humiliated either publicly or privately. We don’t want to create or encourage a society that resorts to shaming at the slightest provocation.

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        • – Teenage pregnancies were rampant in India in my grandmothers’ generation, it just so happened that they had the blessings of elders (as in a child was married and forced into bearing children). They are still common in the rural parts of India.
          – Yes drugs are a problem but that’s a different topic. We’re discussing shaming here. And I’m not sure ‘strictness’ with kids will bring down the use of drugs. Strictness with criminals (adults who distribute drugs) in the form of proper law enforcement would help cut off the source. Educating kids about the dangers of drugs and being involved in their lives would help them make smarter choices.

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  8. I don’t understand what they think could’ve happened if monali and the boy were friends. What is the worst that could’ve happened? She could get pregnant? I think that their worst fear is losing control of the kids and not having them fit into their agenda of what roles boy s and girls should play.

    theindianamericanfeminist.blogspot.com

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    • True ! Some level of strictness, maintain ing protocol in school premises is required but the incident the post talks about was poorly handled by teachers !
      I guess maintaining discipline is difficult in co-ed schools,and parents are afraid that instead of studying girls and boys will get astray because of peer pressure !
      I personally think schools should be strict but once in college and university intermingling of sexes should not be teachers/educationists problem !!

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      • Strictness should be in enforcing discipline in study, activity, time mgmt etc., not disciplining students in relationships, scholls should educate and stop there. Why should schools be strict , they should have a set of rules onthe books and followed, just like any other organization, I hate schools that moral police and enforce their view of the world on kids, kids are to be left to grow and develop their view of the world, which in many cases is much better than the previous gen views. they have to be guided not forced.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Kids don’t have that kind of knowledge so a certain level of moral education if imparted in school helps !Parents at home either don’t have time or necessary knowledge to teach their children !
          A large number of parents these days are either trying to provide ‘lifestyle’ to children or they go to another extreme of pushing outdated cultural mores in name of tradition !
          Schools for many children is still a place where they are exposed to new ideas,values and even atmosphere !
          When it comes to moral values,I doubt it can be forced they can be only taught, explained, shown as example to children ! Once they are adult, they will be impervious to any teachings !

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  9. I remember this teacher of ours who used to speak to guys and girls who had crushes on one another. She used to make us feel it was normal and we were able to talk to her about our feelings without being embarrassed about it. That teacher was called a ‘pimp’ and such similar things. I must say I was quite naive at that age and when I heard many people say this about the teacher, I felt she must be bad. My mom was a teacher in the same school and would have not appreciated me having a crush on another student. All this made me believe that teacher was upto no good and many of my friends did as well.

    Now I look back and see how ahead of her times she was [actually he was just as one should be in the 21st century] and how very few trusted her. Very sad state of affairs.

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  10. This story caught my attention on social media and I have been following this story very closely for a while now and here are two things that I observe.
    1. A life could be saved had we behaved like a responsible human beings.
    2. I don’t think she was merely hugging but perhaps was smooching or involved into something more. This I refer from the fact that principle is refusing to comment and parents are over compensating. Again in my opinion, this is definitely not wrong. What is wrong is people are trying to wrap it under covers, for e.g., the facebook post said she was sexually assaulted in school. They are tarnishing her memory.
    3. The school could have done a bit of counselling on safe sex and practices instead of calling the parents.
    4. The school called only her mother, who I am sure, caused a lot of ruckus in college and at home provoking this step.
    5. Instead of shaming the girl, had one of these people tried to console her, one life could be saved. Instead we lost one life and the boy? he is scared for ever.

    My 2 £
    Siddhesh Kabe
    http://Siddhesh.co.in

    Liked by 2 people

  11. It’s a sorry state indeed.. The school, teachers, counselors, parents.. they all are supposed to help the child in understanding the consequences of his/her actions and not treat like an outcast. Even if the child was caught in activities that were more intimate than hugging/kissing, still no one had any right to publicly shame her. Instead as one of the comments mentioned, sex education could have helped. The parents could have been taken into confidence, instead of a cold letter of suspension to let them know what their child had done. I guess in this case everyone failed and because of that a child lost her life.

    We don’t treat our children as individuals. We treat them as our status symbols, our unfulfilled dreams, our lost chances in life – and that is what leads to these unreasonable and unjust actions on our part.

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  12. This incident is truly shocking and sad. I think the government needs to come up with a set of guidelines for all educational institutions and public humiliation should be punishable.

    Lot of schools with draconian laws are popular because of their results and parents flocking to them. I think we as a society – many of us – have a completely wrong approach to interactions between males and females.

    Though I do not have any extreme cases, when I was in primary school, the punishment for talking too much was to sit with the boys. At the end of the term, the entire class was sitting in a mixed fashion because everyone was talking too much and we did not stop talking to the boys either.

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  13. This is atrocious, I cant belive that .. WHERE are those who say india is developing .. IS THIS development.

    god knows whats happened , people are becoming more of IDIOTS, I have studied in public scool which was a co-ed I dont remeber any such rules we had, everyone sat where they wanted..

    rather we had some good events where boys and girls participated together, swimming, tennis,basketball etc etc we all played together ..
    and we sat next to each other no problem..

    I hope the school gets punished especially the people who punished the two kids, and made that rule.. IT IS THESE people who actually bring about the differences, of how a boy sees a girl and vice versa.. a harmless hug between two friends.. results in this ..

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  14. Hi:
    This is my first post on this blog. I wanted to start my expressing how much I appreciate it. I have been following it for close to 2 years now. To all you posters- I wish I had friends like you when I lived in India! It would have gone a long way in lessening the very negative memories I have of growing up as a woman in India.
    By the way of my background- I am 50 years old. I have been living in the US for the past 25 years. I attended a ” co-ed” school in the 1980’s. The environment was pretty toxic. You got no sex education; mingling of the genders was frowned upon; slut shaming and gossiping about girls who were considered ” forward” was rampant. ( And you guessed it right- I was one of the ” forward” ones!) The school authorities took breathtaking liberties with shaming and punishing students- all with the blessings of our equally backward thinking parents. We are were wounded. I still remember the painful experience of ” slut shaming” I was subjected to. I can very well imagine the humiliation this young girl must have experienced.
    I was initially shocked that this was still going on in India- but on reflection, not surprised. What can you expect from a generation that was raised stifled and ignorant in the 1970’s and 80’s? They are the parents and teachers now, and just passing on the same ignorance to the next generation.

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  15. Pingback: Are schools right in enforcing such strict boundaries between interactions between girl and boy students? | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  16. Pingback: Friendships between men and women | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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