What Love Is Not, What It Is, and What It Feels Like

A Guest Post by Wordssetmefree

Reading the most recent post on your blog reminded me that love is often misinterpreted in our culture and many cultures.  Popular media and books have made love into some kind of a dark turmoil that must be endured for a reward at the end.  People may have different ideas of love.  This is MY understanding ….. I do not want to say this is the only and correct definition of love …. but let’s not forget that ‘love’ is a good word, a positive word.  It is a word like ‘light’ and ‘kindness’ and ‘hope’ and therefore it must evoke a good feeling.  It must feel RIGHT.  Here’s my poem on love.  I hope it helps all of us, those younger and discovering love for the first time, and those older and trying to find some clarity, find a path where ‘love’ is a good word and it feels ‘right’.

What Love Is Not, What It Is, and What It Feels Like

What Love Is Not

Love is not uncertainty

Wondering “Does he really love me?”

It’s not a reward

That one must try hard to earn

Not a compromise

That is gained by giving up

Parts of one’s self


Love is not turmoil

Full of tears and accusations

It is not a competition

That one must win through charm

Not a dark drama

Replete with doubt and betrayal


Love is not an escape

From our mundane existence

Or from our problems

Love is not a shield

From the reality of abuse


Love is not martyrdom

That one must sacrifice for

Not an ownership

Over another’s body and soul


Love is not a stormy night

Filled with the darkness of jealousy

Or the thunder of anger

It is a gentle rain

That quenches your thirst


Love is not a beautiful castle

With iron gates

Nor is it a comfortable home

That imprisons you

It is a journey that sets you free

Full of growth and discovery


What Makes Love Happen

Love begins with respect

Respect is only possible between equals

Love is thus friendship between equals

Friendship that grows to become commitment


Love needs strength and confidence

We must first be able to love ourselves

And respect ourselves

And be in control of our own lives

Before we can love someone else


What Love Feels Like

Romance is fun and welcome but ….

Love is felt even in the absence of romance

It is felt even without roses and champagne

It is felt over bagels and steaming coffee

It is felt while doing laundry together

While sitting next to each other and reading

It is felt in silent companionship

As much as it is felt in hearty laughter

It is felt in moments of pain

In the simple promise that you are not alone

It is felt in moments of confusion

In the relief when the other understands


What Love Is

Love is not sacrifice

Or giving up who you are

Love is ascertaining who you are

Celebrating who you are

And understanding who you are

Through the other’s perceptive eyes

And finding yourself

With the other’s strong heart

And setting yourself free

In the other’s gentle soul


Thank you IHM.



Related Posts:

Is your relationship healthy?

“I wish I was more sensible at the age of 22 before eloping and spoiling my life.”

“I have realized that at 20 when I started dating him I never thought much but today I have issues with all the above points.”


13 thoughts on “What Love Is Not, What It Is, and What It Feels Like

  1. I think we sometimes get lost in the “small” things and forget the BIG component in life and love. What is it like day-to-day? What will it be like in the long-term. Great post.


  2. Human beings experience a wide range of feelings/emotions and there are not enough words in language to convey each one of them. Love is one such word mapped to innumerable feelings /emotions. The experience of feeling/emotion cannot be denied and if the person expressing and person listening puts a sincere effort to understand the emotion experienced , is labeling it with a word really required? A single word will always be insufficient.


  3. Pingback: What Love Is Not, What It Is, and What It Feels Like | wordssetmefreee

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