And what would have happened if this man had declared that he was gay and hence would not marry a woman?

Would he still risk being arrested under the same Sec 377?

It seems the crime he is being arrested for is not that he cheated the woman (for that we have options like asking the victim to adjust), but that he is gay.

But what options did the legal system permit this citizen here? Stay unmarried and pretend he is not gay?

Sec 377 slapped on Infosys techie after wife catches his gay acts on spycam

Though they had been married for a good six months, John allegedly refused to touch Lisa and did not initiate any physical contact with her. The two even slept in separate rooms, according to the dentist.

“I first spoke to John and advised him to get a medical test done, thinking he did not want to get intimate with me because he was impotent. However, he flatly refused; so I had no option but to approach his parents. Imagine my utter shock when they blamed me for their son not being attracted to me, saying he was ‘perfect’ and that I was flawed in some way…” Lisa recalled.

 

[Newly wed Sweety faced the same pressure to ‘attract’ Smartu in this case. – IHM]

 

…Finally, the dentist decided to take matters into her own hands. Turning detective, she installed hidden cameras…  she was aghast to find recordings of her husband’s homosexual encounters with another man. … armed with the evidence, walked into the nearest police station to file a complaint.

 

“I have also accused my in-laws of cheating me since I believe they knew their son was gay, but intentionally led me to believe he wasn’t. They have cheated me and ruined my life by getting me married to him,” the dentist rued.

Related Posts:

“If I was born somewhere else, sometime later, in a more liberal family, in a more equal world…”

Can a woman marry and change an uninterested (in marrying her) man into a responsible, loving husband?

“Homosexuality is criminal offence, Supreme Court rules.”

The Liberals will Live And Let Live…

Who is the victim in this crime?

How do you define Sin?

How Do You Distinguish Right from Wrong?

Denying sex to spouse on first night ground for marriage annulment: Delhi high court

Maybe it’s because we are still a young Democracy…

 

23 thoughts on “And what would have happened if this man had declared that he was gay and hence would not marry a woman?

  1. I have multiple questions about this incident.

    1. Did his parents know? Probably. It is difficult to miss the obvious signs (the generalizations about pink being a feminine color also bother me, but that’s not the point of discussion here so I’ll shut up about that). Do you think that he may have been forced to marry a woman when really he wanted to be with a man. The man clearly did not have the courage to be open about his sexuality. Would you hold him responsible for not taking a stand?

    2. His parents are being booked for cheating but he is being booked for being gay. Can he control his sexuality? If sexuality can be controlled, why not also book his parents for fostering their son’s gay-ness?

    3. Apparently, he cheated on his wife with multiple people, and the wife also seemed more offended at being misled and cheated than the husband’s sexuality. Did she insist they book him for cheating? I just can’t wrap my head around homosexuality being worse than cheating!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Isn’t videotaping another person’s sexual encounters without their permission a crime in itself? This is wrong on so many levels that I don’t even know where to start.

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    • I feel extremely uncomfortable that the husband is being subjected to our outdated IPC laws because of her.

      Going to the police station, IMHO was wrong of her.
      Cheating on your spouse and being gay should NOT be treated as crimes, and police should definitely not be able to lock someone up on these accounts. I can understand her need for vengeance, but a divorce on grounds of infidelity would have made more sense that running to the police with a videotape!
      That to me is a low-blow.

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      • After listening to her, it’s apparent that she was treated like s*** by her husband and in-laws, who also had the gall to accuse her of being unfaithful.I feel sorry for what she had to go through, and can see she wanted to get back at them.

        Still, it’s an awful precedent- and there would be SO much less tolerance of a man who would go to the police with a video of his wife cheating on him .

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        • Precisely. I feel for her and what she has gone through. I’m sorry that she has been met with such resistance and such outright hostility (with the blame being inflicted on her rather than on her husband of all people). This is the sad state of affairs for many, many women who remain unhappily married to their spouses because they see no choice where they can come out of this situation with anyone giving them the sympathy they deserve for having been lied to.

          That said, using Section 377 is a HUGE mistake, and it speaks of an awful amount of homophobia on her part. I do not think this is intentional homophobia, for all we know she could be ambivalent on the subject. But I can’t support her using this law to take action against her husband. Her husband having cheated on her is hugely wrong, and the fact that his family has treated her so badly is also wrong, and she definitely deserves justice. Just not like this. Just not through this law which will set a precedent and only make gay men want to hide their sexualities even more.

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  3. There are multiple issues i feel with this news
    1. He cheated her but then did he have an option? Was it known of his sexual orientation and did he control it? There has to be a proper divorce proceedings as would happen if a heterosexual man would cheat on his wife.

    2. Getting strangers in house? That looks like a call for theraphy. Who would get strangers for the purpose of copulation? I think this part needs to be investigate deeply and proper counsel should be met.

    3. Punishing the in-laws for cheating. What about the middlemen during marriage? They should be punished with equal dexterity no?

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  4. Gay people in India have to be forced into marriage to pretend to be ‘normal’ just to keep their families happy and archaic laws like Sec 377 exist just to keep such sham marriages going.

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  5. The woman was interviewed on a radio show in Bangalore yesterday – here’s the Soundcloud link: https://t.co/5Dj3kAjtLW
    She met with indifference and hostility from the man’s family when she tried to figure out the problem – I can see why she would hit back with all she could. Doubt she’d have gotten a divorce easily or with her reputation intact (He retaliated to her questions about his orientation with claims that she was cheating)

    As for the man, I have nothing but contempt for him. To callously put another person’s life at stake, simply for your own cowardice/convenience, to expect a woman to “adjust” to a celibate life. What do you think would be the family’s attitude when the children didn’t happen after a couple of years?

    I don’t see any extenuating circumstances for the man. I do see the section 377 as somewhat extreme, given the extreme harshness of the penalties, but I do feel she did this due to feeling utterly unregarded and unvalued. And in a perverse way, am glad she stood up to the man and his family.

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    • And following up on my earlier comment – been doing some digging – I understand that the police have no option but to book him under 377a, given the video evidence she presented. She may have well wanted to to file against him for adultery, but she needs to provide evidence – which was the recordings. Unfortunately 377 trumps 497 here, from what I can tell.

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  6. I feel sorry for everyone involved in this tragedy. I feel sorry for the woman who got everything she did not bargain for. I feel sorry for the man who came under intense pressure to hide his sexuality. I feel sorry for a nation that sanctions marital rape, but criminalizes consensual adult sex under 377.

    That said, no matter what you are going through personally, you have no right to drag a unsuspecting person into your mess. Especially by disguising the truth. The woman has every right to a quick, speedy divorce and settlement. It is unfair to charge sheet the man though when there are thousands of spouses who cheat on their partners and do no face criminal charges as a consequence.

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  7. I am glad that the lady was smart enough to get evidence !This is fraud ! I doubt if parents didnt suspect their sons sexuality !They spoiled the girl ‘s life !
    Would divorce without evidence be less incriminating for her ? In India, the first finger is always pointed at the girl in case of divorce !
    I think she did the best she could to foolproof herself !

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  8. I am glad that the lady was smart enough to get evidence !This is fraud ! I doubt if parents didnt suspect their sons sexuality !They spoiled the girl ‘s life !
    Would divorce without evidence be less incriminating for her ? In India, the first finger is always pointed at the girl in case of divorce !
    I think she did the best she could to foolproof herself !

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    • By doing what? Throwing another oppressed individual under the bus? Section 377 is discrimination against homosexual individuals. The discrimination that homosexual individuals feel in society is equivalent to the cases where the blame for divorce is always placed upon the woman not being able to keep a good home.

      Fight against oppression, and fight against injustice. But you are not allowed to do this by inflicting and invoking the same type of injustice against another human being as has been inflicted on you. That is wrong. Her using Section 377 to punish her husband for adultery is wrong. She is entitled to divorce him, she is entitled to broadcast to the world that she has been lied to, but she is not allowed to use an oppressive law to punish him. You cannot fight oppression and injustice by using the tools of an oppressive and unjust system, you should instead be working to tear that system down.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. he should be punished for misleading her, signing a marriage certificate when he has no plans to be married in the physical sense. cheating the spouse – he didnt tell her she had to lead a lifelong celibate life,
    But i dont agree with punishing him for neing gay. thats ridiculous and stupid.

    as for his parents, depends if they are then noninterfearing kind then so what. is it right to punish them? i dont necessarily want to poke my nose into who my son marries, why ,how either . it’s his life his problem. he deals with it with his spouse. I’m not a therapist or counsellor. Im just the mom and most probably biased toward my son more than my DIl. so it would be best if i shut up and stayed out of their business.
    but if they knew he was gay and still insisted he marry then they are a party to the cheating.
    id say give her a divorceq quickly, pay back marriage expenses an drepartitions to her. and be done. and of course if it were me I’m be apologizing profusely if i didnt know an dmy son cheated her.

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  10. I’m furious.

    I’m furious at everyone involved in this situation. I’m furious with his wife for her rampant homophobia and the invasion of privacy that she committed to find evidence against her husband. Even as I sympathize with her, I’m furious that she thinks that being “feminine” or “gay” is wrong or bad and that his sexuality deserves criminal prosecution.

    I’m furious with this gentleman for cheating. I understand, I really do, what difficulties lie with his position. It is NOT easy. It is not easy to withstand the pressure of having to get married. However, I wonder what would have happened if he’d been honest with his wife. I cannot condone his adultery, I think that is very very wrong and his wife is within her rights to be angry with him for that.

    But she is not entitled to take legal action in this form as revenge. Especially legal action that, in and of itself, is a method of oppression. This, to me, is a case of adultery and dishonesty and it warrants divorce. Not imprisonment, especially not under a law that is used to subjugate, terrorize and blackmail homosexual individuals in India.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Section 377 dates back to 1860 when India was still under British rule, according to a Wikipedia entry. Why are the gay people in India not challenging this outdated law? Only if they put enough pressure will the law ever be challenged.

    In this woman’s case, yes she was cheated (told he is straight by parents or whoever) into marrying him, but then when she found out that he was gay, she could’ve filed for divorce, no? This was my first reaction. Why report him to the police? But then, some of my friends told me that’s because in India, you need grounds for divorce, therefore you need evidence. Is this true? If that’s true, that’s a another law that doesn’t make sense. Why do you need grounds for divorce? Why is the government telling 2 people they should stay together against their wishes? Will the government start telling us whom to marry as well? When to shower?

    I think it’s sad that they have section 377 and I’m supportive of gay rights in general, but I have little sympathy for someone who is gay, then gets married, pretends he’s straight so he looks respectable in society, messes up someone else’s life. And to top it off, cheats on her! Wow, no wonder this woman is angry. (I still wouldn’t report him because I’m against 377 in principle – it encourages taking away human rights, but I can understand her anger to some extent).

    If a person is gay, then India is a horrible country to live in, I get that, but don’t go and mess with someone else’s life. I think this guy should’ve been more responsible and less selfish, and behaved like an adult.

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  12. This is Insane… While this lady was undoubtedly treated poorly, both by the man and his parents, it is inhumane to subject someone to our outdated anti sodomy laws out of spite… At best she should have sought some damages and alimony…

    Like

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