Roughly translates to: Our daughter has good values and despite becoming a minister, she remains the footwear of her husband’s feet.
Indian paraya dhan’s parents who could view them as role models and be proud of them – continue to justify and make excuses for the paraya dhan’s success. It would seem it is against Indian sanskaar for Indian daughters in law and wives (or married Indian daughters) to be seen as ‘successful’.
For such parents, Happily married daughters, who are ‘pampered’ or ‘approved of’ by the damaad ji (son in law) remain the role models and continue to be viewed as the ultimate status symbols. The society celebrates their position (equivalent to the footwear of their spouse?) with rituals, which are generally forbidden to single, divorced or widowed women (who don’t have any feet to place themselves at?)
For this mindset, success in single women is tolerated because they have sacrificed the joys of serving their Lord and Master (and his extended family) for worldly success. Women in abusive marriages are frequently told they are better off than single women who have no feet, to serve as Juttees. The same idea expects women to choose between having a family or having a career.
What could make a parent of an Indian daughter say their paraya dhan’s rightful position is at the bottom of the family hierarchy? Do they believe this?
1. Or, are they being tactful and they feel this would make it easier for the Pati Parmeshwar to accept the paon ki juttee’s success?
2. Maybe it is a reminder to other women in the community – so that they don’t get any ideas about equality, success, human rights or empowerment?
3. Maybe it is an assurance to the neighbours’ third cousins (or anybody else who might judge and comment) that they have given her good sanskaar, and ‘the juttee’ would not attempt to view herself as human?
It seems many parents of Indian daughters believe that they do not have the option of loving and respecting their daughters.
Is it surprising then that Haryana parents avoid having daughters?
Is it possible to change anything until this mindset is challenged and changed? – IHM
Shared by Abhishek Oza.
हमारी बेटी संस्कारवान है और मंत्री बनने के बावजूद पति के पांव की जूती ही है।
Kavita Jain’s husband Rajeev is facing charges for unaccounted income. Yet Kavita’s mother Kamlesh is proud that Kavita always behaves like Rajeev’s “paanv ki jooti” (literally: footwear).ie. She finds her place below her hubby’s feet, even after being a minister. For Kamlesh, this is a sign of Kavita’s “sankaar”.Kamlesh is neither ashamed of a son-in-law like Rajeev, nor proud of a minister daughter. She is just proud that some “sanskaar” forces a minister to be a “paanv ki jooti” (in Kamlesh’s own words.), and feels more so that such a “sanskaar” is shown by her own daughter!– By Abhishek Oza.