‘He has not returned the child for 2 months now. He has sent legal notice and can’t be reached over phone.’

Sharing an email. 

Dear IHM,
Please publish this in your blog. I need HELP!!

I am 30 female married for 8 years and have a kid of 4 years.
My husband and I Lived with our child  in UK until 3 months back.
I came down to India with my child with an intention to stay back as I see it living in a UK a  good option for me. Getting back to India itself was an ordeal as my husband was quite sure I would not return.

My family members convinced him to let me stay in India but he wanted the child to remain with him/his mother during my stay with my mom. He thinks his daughter is safe in my mom’s house.

We were against it.

He came to my place in India and took way my daughter promising to return after few days as he wanted to apply for some British visa formalities.

He has not returned the child for 2 months now. He has sent legal notice and he and his parents are not to be reached over phone.
He wants our daughter to be with his parents for her schooling until he returns from UK. I am not going to my in-laws place.

I have to fight in court for my baby but I fear it may take long time before I see her and I am losing strength day by day.

Can I get any other means I can reach my child. My husband has not disclosed the address/ location but I know the city where my child is.
As this is interstate, the police have been dormant in our attempts so far.how much time does hcp petition take?

Please HELP to reach my child as early as possible.


10 thoughts on “‘He has not returned the child for 2 months now. He has sent legal notice and can’t be reached over phone.’

  1. Go to national commission of women’s counseling cell and report the whole matter. Hire a good legal counsel and respond to the legal notice accordingly. Also file a report with the local police. If the child is British citizen report it to the consulate.
    Hire a good legal counsel without delay.
    Desi Girl


  2. I’m not an expert at legal matters but it looks like you have to go to the police first because your child is missing – you have no idea where she is and you last saw her with your husband and now he refuses to be contacted.
    – Once you find your child and your husband, your next step would be live with your husband until you get a proper divorce because you do not want to leave your child again and risk losing her again.
    – The next step is to decide if you are staying in this marriage or not. If you are deciding to leave the marriage, you need to get a divorce, then the question of child custody comes up.
    – If the judge thinks that both of you are responsible parents, chances are you will get primary custody of the child as the mother, and the father will be given visitation rights.
    – If the judge finds either parent irresponsible or unsafe, then sole custody would be awarded to the responsible/safe parent.
    – Of course there are a lot of loopholes in the system, with witnesses on both sides saying different things about each parent. But that, I think, is the general gist of how things work, and any lawyers here can probably clarify more and pinpoint errors.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Madam,

    I understand that this is a hard time for you but you need to start working towards getting your child back.

    What legal notice was it? Divorce? Is it on the grounds of desertion as you left the house?
    You need to specify the income, education level and earning capacity of both of you. In this case the status of your parents may also be important to know.
    Based on the limited information you have given, the answers are :

    (1) No. The police cannot interfere in the matter of child custody;

    (2) It is possible for her to get son’s custody from Court; The court decision will depend upon a number of factors such as education qualification, income and earning capacity of both of you;

    (3) While deciding about a child’s custody, the paramount consideration is child’s welfare; since a 4 year old child may not be in a position to express himself clearly, the court usually take a decision depending upon attendant circumstances; However, some children are out of ordinary and are able to express themselves better and clearly. The court may take into consideration what the child may have to say about his preferences.

    I’m attaching some links about the same, hope it helps.




  4. I am sorry that I am not able to support you fully in this case or a) a lot of details are missing and b) whatever details you present are one sided so i will say this ….

    whatever your fights are as a couple;remember its his kid too … and if you want to be in india permanently with your kid… you are depriving the dad who is in UK the right to enjoy his kid… may be he might be worried that you will not give him visitation rights in the future and took away the kids. Why are both of you insisting its my way or the highway?

    Secondly a bad husband need not always be a bad father…

    thirdly whatever are the issues of separation one should be mature and level headed when handling/settling about the kids future with equal rights of both parents unless one parent harms the kid ( not the spouse). Kids should not be pawns in parental battles. And why are your parents and his parents and other people involved in this battle? it will remove whatever little objectivity there is left for the parents will first protect their kids interests not your kid’s… see if there is somebody throug whom you can meet your estranged husband and find an amicable solution (splitting custody if needs be)… both of you guys are scared about the other person taking away the kids once and for all ( seen from both parties words/actions).

    What DG said sounds good… but in the long term interest of the kid have a amicable, balanced settlement.. Children should not be pawns in parental fights and issues… You will have one confused human being tomorrow otherwise.

    ( Might get a lot of thumbs down on this one… but then the kid does not belong to the mother alone)


    • The court should send the child to boarding school and not give physical custody to either of the parents. Parents should get 3days a week each .this is ensure , no child is affected by acrimonious battles between parents and save the court unnecessary time wasted in choosing the best of parents for physical custody….let me know ur thoughts

      Let peace prevail….


  5. Too many vital details left out.

    If I understand the facts correctly:
    1. All 3 of you are Indian citizens?
    2. You have specifically asked for a Habeas Corpus Petition? (hcp?)
    3. You have a 4 year old daughter.
    4. You did not inform your husband, while flying to India, that you do not intend to come back.
    5. Legally, the absolute law is that in the event of a separation, if all 3 of you are Indian citizens, you have to go through a counselling process, then separation, then divorce appeal is filed. Your lawyer will help you with all this. I am not sure about the nature of the legal notice. It cannot be for custody, because that can only be determined at the time of divorce.
    6. Why do you not know where the child is? You mentioned that the child is with his mother. Do you not know the address of your mother in law? Or have they moved to an unspecified location with the child? The legality of both cases is very different.

    From whatever little I understand, you are guilty of abandonment. Since a 4 year old child is involved, may we please request you to leave your own childhood behind and deal with this in a mature way? Like 2 adults? I will also second that suggestion of leaving your parents out of it. And all relatives.

    1. Speak to a lawyer.
    2. ALL Indian laws are now available online. Take the time to read them.
    3. Unless your MIL wants to physically harm the child, she is safe. So why are you getting weak? Hold on to your wits.
    4. All case laws in High Court and above used to be available online. Get your own reference case laws. The courts are teeming with them.
    5. If you have a legal notice, you do have an address to correspond, at least legally. Ask your lawyer to accompany you to the office of their lawyer and place the facts.
    6. You have mentioned this is an interstate case. Since the child has disappeared from their state, you are entitled to file an FIR in their state, not in your state. No wonder your police is not responding. They have no case in their jurisdiction. The jurisdiction is of the police station closest to the address where the child was supposed to be living.
    7. You are going to need a criminal lawyer and a family lawyer to deal with the disappearance of the child. But more importantly, you are going to need a lot of homework on your own.


    • >> “Unless your MIL wants to physically harm the child, she is safe. So why are you getting weak? Hold on to your wits”

      Sorry to say this, but the above statement shows sub-zero understanding of a mother’s heart or of a mother-child bond!


  6. http://www.legalservicesindia.com/article/article/child-custody-&-guardianship-204-1.html


    HCP is not an absolutely fool proof way to produce the child. As you can see in the second link, it was allowed in one case and not allowed in the other. Your case is more akin to the one where it was not allowed. Of course, a lot depends on the Hon. Judge.


  7. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/City-sees-rise-in-cases-of-parents-kidnapping-kids/articleshow/4452990.cms

    Since the grandmother is not the natural guardian of the child, (she can, however, be the testamentary guardian appointed by the father), you can proceed with criminal charges, but you should consider this carefully.

    There should be some way to handle this peacefully in the interest of the child. Because of your email, I have spent the last hour or so just reading up on relevant case law to see what the major precedent says. Most of it as in the original reply I posted. But all of them concur that this bitterness among the parents affects the child in the long term. If your child is safe, please discuss it with your husband without bringing the child into this. My 2 cents.

    When you do speak with the husband, ask him to carefully consider scenarios like his mother’s old age and illness, and situation where he himself needs to remarry and do be fair about visitation rights. Your MIL may be very eager to take the responsibility right now, but unlikely that she will be able to carry this through to the girl’s adulthood. I don’t think they have considered that yet. Also, you need to consider your own future. What happens if you want to remarry? What is your support system in the event of you being granted complete custody?

    Please please think with a cool head. All the best.


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