Some days…

Why do I blog about child loss and how I feel?

Tejaswee Rao, Princess Park, my daughter

1. It makes me feel better – I find it cathartic.

2. To understand what is happening (to myself) – with some more clarity by writing it down and sharing it.

3. Four years ago I had sought and found information [link] ( – most helpful when in the form of personal stories), about life after child loss, and I hope these posts are found by those who need them.

4. For readers to get an idea of what child loss can do to parents, so that they don’t take it personally when – for an example – their invitations or gestures of friendship are are declined. Specially when the grieving parent/s seem to be meeting other people or seem to be generally getting on with their life – try and remember you don’t know what they are coping with. Let them be. This needs a separate post. 

Remembered this today.

Related Posts:

When we surprise ourselves.

“Grieving parents behave in a different manner. ”

On 19th Jan 2013.

“The pain will never go, but you will smile again.”

27 thoughts on “Some days…

  1. I don’t know how you do it, IHM. I am shedding tears here as I read your words as well as that beautifully mis-spelled note from Tejaswee. And you live through this every single day. The heart just weeps. Big virtual hugs coming your way. I am grateful that we connected this year. For so many reasons.

    Like

  2. The letter made me cry you believe it or not…I am a mother and if my child is hurt or ill, I feel the pain literally even if trying to be strong and what you went through or going through can’t even imagine in millionth of time…So all I can pray for you is inner strength and acceptance even if I know it’s hard…God’s blessings to you and family

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What lovely expression. Not tiersome but tier-ed. Glad you blog, IHM. It helps more people that you will ever know. I think words help release a little bit of the wound, huge as this one is. Lots of hugs, may you keep blogging – giving to others and hopefully also receiving the way you need.

    Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hugs to you IHM.That letter is truly a treasure. Here’s a quote which brings me relief when I think about my dad who I lost to cancer couple of years back….”When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” – Khalil Gibran

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Brought tears to my eyes…what a precious letter from your precious girl. What a treasure – both the letter and your daughter!

    It seems that, as a fellow blogger and parent whose child has died, I haven’t posted much nor had much to say lately, but I think it’s absolutely invaluable for bereaved parents to keep talking and writing. I enjoy your posts so much. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dear IHM, I am so sorry for your loss. You are a very strong woman to continue to make a difference despite pain of this magnitude. I came across your blog through posts about Tejaswee. What struck me then was that though she left this world soon, she seemed to have had a great time when she was here. The smiling pictures, posts, and letters gave the impression of someone who was very happy and really lived life. I thought you were one cool mama to let her get multiple piercings! A lot of Indian parents clamp down on teenage daughters fearing that their image would eventually fall apart if they don’t, resulting in years of misery for both child and parent. You let her be, and that is wonderful! I resolved that if I have kids, I will try my best to do the same; ie try to give them a happy life, and create as many good memories as possible because we can never predict what tomorrow might bring. You are an awesome mother. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hugs IHM.
    I love the p.s. section the most.
    Plus, that spelling of obnoxious doesnt feel wrong at all.Its like, she said the word,heard how it sounds and set down to write it that way,Brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hugs IHM. Only the one who has faced loss of this magnitude knows what s/he has gone through and no one else should ever judge. I applaud the work you are doing to help others.

    Like

  9. I am sure you have heard it all from everyone, so I only have hugs for you! After having a baby 3 years ago, I can only imagine the pain that losing a child causes to parents. Hugs, big hugs.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s