Shameless women.

Did the man in this ad ‘instil faith’ in you? Does he come across as respectful towards women?

This witty take on the much beaten down Indian man hopes to instil faith in the women of today.’

According to Story Pick – If You Think All Indian Men Are The Same, You Haven’t Probably Met The Right Ones. So, would you count this man amongst the ‘Right ones’?

Link shared by Kavya. 

Compare this man to Milkha Singh (in the video below) assuring that his ‘No’ did not in any way indicate disrespect or ‘insult’.

What do you think?

Related Posts:

Ek Hindustani ladki ki Izzat.

A tag: But when a woman sees a hot man, nothing happens in her brain?

Romanticizing innocence, chastity and related taboos for women.

“There is so little conversation about a woman’s desire for sex that a lot of people simply assume it doesn’t exist.”

Of Love, Lust and Respect

Triya charitram, Purushasya bhagyam, Devo Na Janati, Kuto Manushya…

 

28 thoughts on “Shameless women.

  1. I understand your point and where you are coming from but I really think that the original approach also differed in these two clips. The first one had a woman stealing the guy’s orange juice! I would also be really rude if someone did that, so I sort of get the reaction. What is stupid about this scenario is that it is shown as harassment of the man who then takes refuge in rudeness. That is simply unrealistic and never (or very rarely) happens in real life. It’s trying to reverse the reality and show men as victims of sexual molestation (or adam teasing?).

    The second one shows both parties interested, the woman gets the signals and approaches and the guy decides to back out at the last minute. Both parties are respectful of each other. It’s definitely different but the original approach also matters. You can’t expect to jump in a disgusting manner on some person and expect them to say no in a decent manner. And really, please don’t steal people’s orange juices!

    Like

      • The ad is so incredibly crude, I can’t understand how it made it to the screen. Even if the woman’s approach was itself crude, couldn’t it have been rejected with more grace? The contrast with the Milkha Singh clip is apt. The rejection is done with empathy and respect. What more can one ask for?

        Like

  2. Wow! Now men can be criticized for not showing adequate amount of “respect” while saying no to a woman. I wonder if that applies with the genders reversed. If a woman was sitting at a table and a man came and grabbed her drink, popular culture tells me it is okay for the girl to promptly slap the guy. But apparently, if genders are reversed, the man needs to be respectful. Why can’t he slap the girl? I was told the genders deserve equal treatment.

    Like

    • I agree. Patriarchy doesn’t just approve, it actually encourages women to slap (or more) to prove their allegiance to Patriarchal ideas of a woman’s absolute lack of interest in any man except the one chosen by their father. Not slapping or sometimes not reacting with enough anger can even be seen as a proof of their connivance.

      I have blogged about it here,
      https://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2012/09/15/allahabad-girl-beats-eve-teaser-sets-bike-on-fire/

      Like

        • So if you are waiting at cafe and a sleazy guy keeps staring at you and then seeing that you aren’t doing much about it, comes close to you and takes away your coffee and has the guts to sip it..would you still advocate not slapping?

          Like

        • Yes. I would not advocate slapping. Not just because it is violence (which is reason enough), but also because it is not such a safe thing to do. For example, what if the guy slaps the woman back?

          I think walking away, or complaining to whoever runs the place or asking the person, in a polite but loud voice (to attract attention), to leave them alone would be more effective.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. You couldn’t have done better putting two videos for sincere and sensible comparison as they speak volumes….I don’t know what’s wrong with this recent trending scenario where there’s round of silly videos are making wave trying to put the message in totally absurd and nonsensical manner….

    Like

  4. The second did seem respectful. About the first, I don’t think it must be intended as a disrespect. Its just made that odd way.. Probably, someone wanted to pass on the message that all men wouldn’t take advantage of a woman’s willingness.. Probably.

    Even the maker seems confused as to what message is to be passed on!! “Not all men are alike”? Of course, they’re not!! Who says all men are alike anyways!?

    Just because we comment on the type of men who indulge in wrong things, does it mean we think all of them are same??? I don’t get the whole idea of coming forward with “not all men are same”!

    We KNOW not all men are same!! We have husbands, sons, fathers, friends who make our life beautiful right? We are not commenting / talking about all of them anyways!!!

    Like

    • According to the link shared,

      A generalized perception, all thanks to movies & media, is that men will always be men. What it means is that men are always turned on, men never say no to sex, men always forget important dates, men never turn down ‘friends with benefits’ leading to a mass endemic that ‘Men are tharki, deal with it’.

      Like

      • If it is about friends with benefits, this video shows both of them as strangers! So even more confusing!

        Plus, if it is friends with benefits, regardless of who initiated, both should be labeled tharki, right? Men never deny sex? Men always forget important dates? Men are always turned on? I don’t agree to any of the seemingly generalised things and fail to convincingly laugh on them. Why? Because I also fail to convincingly laugh on “women always take 2 hours to get ready” or “women are ready to shop at the drop of a hat”. Or even on that boring beaten dialogue from pyaar ka punchnaama.

        I still think the ad is confusing because it doesn’t match the description! It passes on no message to me..

        Like

  5. Well a huge way in which any power structure like patriarchy thrives is by maintaining the status quo of the various parties involved in it. While women are ALWAYS expected by this system to deny a proposal at first ,this very system cares two hoots about their consent in all matters sexual.
    Men on the other hand are always clichéd as wanting sex from every woman they meet and more so with a woman who appears to be willing by her suggestive gestures or words ( whatever that means).
    Clichés never did any gender good, however mutual respect even in denial and consent remains the key to a more sane society according to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I saw the clip twice.
    I could not understand it.
    I got no message delivered to me.

    I put myself in the boy’s position.
    I also went back 40 years in time to be the same age as that young man.
    I asked myself how I would have reacted.

    Answer: I would have got up, and quietly walked away, without a word, paid for my drink and forgotten about the girl.
    But of course, during our time, no girl would ever behave like this!

    Regards
    GV

    Like

  7. Looking at this i feel like girls and boys don’t know how to interact and communicate normally. Is this how they are in real life. i don’t think so, it’s like they want to copy movies. well i don’t think neither of my boys would have acted like this. they would have told her politely to go away and had no choice to pay for the drink and walk away.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. In the first ad the woman was clearly ogling him. Also she stole his juice! Why would the man not assume she wasn’t sexually offending him? Yes it sounds a little unusual but we can just try swapping the sexes in the video. That is our conditioning speaking.

    Same goes for the second one. If that were a woman being approached, I don’t think we would have digested it if the woman were so respectful about it.

    I feel the video does convey a very important message- not a norm, but something that we all overlook. Would we accept it if men responded as violently to unsolicited romantic or sexual approaches as women generally do? Odds are no. I think that was the real message of this video.

    It also set me thinking. In evolution, women have been serial monogamists and men polygamists. All women flocked to the alpha male, then the beta and so on. The alpha male impregnated more than one woman. It was so perfectly fine to be sexual and to acknowledge our sexuality. Makes me wonder if we have evolved or devolved. Yeah certainly procreation is not our sole agenda as it was then, but we can do with accepting that like their ancestors, women too are quite sexual and may act it out positively or negatively as do men. Men aren’t the only beneficiaries of sex.

    Like

  9. Actually, I thought, with the first video, the girl was weird and the guy was rude. If I was sitting at a table, and a guy came and smiled at me (assuming I’m single) and drank my juice, I would think he was being weird. That is clearly not attractive. I would tell him to “Please leave.” and if he persisted, tell him again more firmly, “Leave.” and if he still persisted, call security. I would not walk away as it’s my table and I have the right to sip juice/coffee, read, and be left alone or if someone wanted to get friendly, I would want to be approached in a way that I would find more sensible/desirable/respectful.

    The second video was great. She was clearly attracted to him. She approached him slowly (gave him space and time to react). She touched him tentatively, waiting for confirmation. He refused respectfully, without shaming/insulting her. She accepted the rejection gracefully.

    Like

  10. The ad’s apart, whenever, anyone generalizes be it perceptions of men or women they are being unfair. Not all Men are leeches and not all women are good poor old souls!

    Like

  11. Even if some girl (or anyone else for that matter) were to come and sip at my juice ,even though it is inappropriate ,I wouldn’t swat at them but may be I’ll talk to them and see what it is really about.
    The second clip deals with an issue that genuinely affects some men. Some women indeed get offended if one indicates disinterest. Overt show of respect is required to avert false allegations of inappropriateness. Of course, not everyone is the same !

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s