If virginity was not seen as a precious commodity or a gift (more like a right in India) for women’s husbands – how would women’s lives be different?
Would there be less silence on sexual crimes? Less ‘gender policing’? [Link shared by Shail Mohan]
Maybe if virginity was not such a valuable thing – sexual assaults (upon women and girls) would not be equated with (and trivialised as) robbing of something (izzat lootna) but as serious criminal assaults on the person?
And then it would not be possible to rape or molest a woman to ‘teach a lesson’ to the woman (or to those whose commodity she is viewed as)?
How did the idea of women’s virginity, honor, chastity, purity first come to accepted by the society?
What do those who are obsessed with controlling women’s sexuality do – when it is not socially acceptable to use violence, murders, threats of being sold into sexual slavery or social boycott to control women’s sexuality?
Maybe then ten year old girls are led to believe that if they agreed to treat their bodies and sexual experience as everybody’s business, they would be rewarded with approval and Blessings (not verifiable).
Even if this young woman did not need therapy – how do women explain to themselves as to exactly how does the lack of sexual experience (of one of the partners) automatically improve (or Bless) a ‘marriage’?
Link shared by IK.
At the age of 10, I took a pledge at my church alongside a group of other girls to remain a virgin until marriage.
…. I learned that as a girl, I had a responsibility to my future husband to remain pure for him. It was entirely possible that my future husband wouldn’t remain pure for me, because he didn’t have that same responsibility, according to the Bible. And of course, because I was a Christian, I would forgive him for his past transgressions and fully give myself to him, body and soul.
Once I got married, it would be my duty to fulfill my husband’s sexual needs. I was told over and over again, so many times I lost count, that if I remained pure, my marriage would be blessed by God and if I didn’t that it would fall apart and end in tragic divorce.
I believed it. Why wouldn’t I? I was young and these were people I trusted.
My feminist husband was horrified that I’d let him touch me when I didn’t want him to. He made me promise I’d never do anything I didn’t want to do ever again.
I’m now thoroughly convinced that the entire concept of virginity is used to control female sexuality. If I could go back, I would not wait. I would have sex with my then-boyfriend-now-husband and I wouldn’t go to hell for it. We would have gotten married at a more appropriate age and I would have kept my sexuality to myself.