Why are mothers ignored, asks SC

While we claim to ‘worship’ mothers ( well, atleast the mothers of male children) do we really respect mothers or motherhood? 

How does the society ensure that motherhood does not come in the way of self reliance and basic human rights for women? (Do we give this a thought?)

Instead, it seems, many of us expect some parents (only women) to look upon parenting as a sacrifice, social obligation and duty.

Rights? Few.

Responsibilities? 

But here is a small ray of hope. 

Why are mothers ignored, asks SC

Link shared by K

Mothers hardly match the authority a father commands in official documents necessary to prove a person’s identity. While the father’s name prominently figures in government documents, the mother is usually given the go-by.

 

The Supreme Court is all set to change that.

….

The petition, filed by journalist Madhav Kant Mishra from Allahabad, says ignoring the parenthood of the mother in government documents is in gross violation of the Fundamental Right to Equality under Article 14 of the Constitution. It sought an ordinance making the mother’s name compulsory in documents.

Do we really respect mothers? 

How are mothers treated in Indian culture?

Mommy Guilt: A Western Influence.

An email: “I find it very hard to forgive my husband for all that happened at the time of my delivery.”

How can the society ensure that marriage (and homemaking and motherhood) does not result in women becoming financially dependent on their husbands?

Society benefits immensely from childbearing, childrearing, and caregiving work that currently goes unpaid.

‘How I am going to manage two toddlers, work, home, chores etc etc without any physical and moral support from my in laws?’

Why Scandinavian women make the rest of the world jealous.

An email: “She is considering having an abortion without telling her husband about it.”

“…and every month if my periods get delayed I am given a weird look and it clearly shows that she is afraid i might get pregnant again.”

How are mothers treated in Indian culture?

Would Indra Nooyi like to be the kind of mother to her daughters that her mother has been to her?

An update: “My friend is having the baby because her mother absolutely refused to support her decision to abort.”

Sometimes also used to control women’s freedom and choices:

New scare for urban women: Menopause in 20s

“I waited for maternal love to overcome me – it didn’t… After my baby was born, I didn’t feel anything…”

Mere consent to conjugal rights does not mean consent to give birth to a child for her husband.

An email: Is it selfish to not want to be parents yet?

Woman you are not doing anybody a favour…

An email: “I find it very hard to forgive my husband for all that happened at the time of my delivery.”

Some other points that SC has raised in the past:

Daughter-in-law should not be treated as domestic help, says Supreme Court

Marry Or Live With Anyone Of Your Choice.

Plain-clothed police officers, warning signboards, cancellation of permits, helplines: SC directs States to take serious steps to curb Street Sexual Harassment.

Don’t let off rapists on flimsy grounds, SC tells courts.

Why does Gender Sensitivity in Legal Language matter.

22 thoughts on “Why are mothers ignored, asks SC

  1. Wow. Glad to see this point being discussed. When this actually changes it is indeed going to be a moment of celebration. That’s one small leap in government process, a giant leap for our country and mankind indeed🙂

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  2. Yay!!! Finally!🙂 Can’t believe it took them these many years to recognize this issue which is all around them. Every, and I mean each and every official document asks for Father or Husband’s name but never the Mother’s name.
    But do you think the proposed changes will happen anytime soon IHM? Almost every official document in India needs to be changed and knowing the speed and efficiency at which Government offices work, I don’t think I will live long enough to see my name on my children’s official forms….!

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    • However both my husband’s birth certificate and Indian passport mention his mother’s name. Which documents do not mention mother’s name in India or does it depend on states ?

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      • There are so many that I lost count of. But I distinctly remember one common pattern in all these forms: a) First, we have to put a tick mark against married or unmarried. b) Then if married, we have to enter the husband/spouse’s name else Father’s name (NEVER “Parent’s” name)

        ITR-V(Tax return) has only father’s name. Also numerous other forms to open a bank account, to apply for a sim card, phone connection, application form for various tests and exams etc. The list is endless. Now that I think of it, its not just Government forms. Wonder how they will force private organizations also to incorporate Mother’s name(or else change it to the gender-neutral ‘Parent’)..

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  3. Finally! Someone saw sense. This has always been a pet peeve with me. Though I must say, some of my cousins use the mother’s name as their surname. For ex. South Indians generally write their names with their own name and then their father’s/husband’s name OR affix the initial of the father’s/husband’s name before their own. So a person whose name is Aditya and Father’s name is Krishnan would write his name as Aditya Krishnan or K.Aditya. My cousins affixed their mother’s initial instead of the father’s.

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  4. “While we claim to ‘worship’ mothers ( well, atleast the mothers of male children) do we really respect mothers or motherhood?”
    Yes, I find the ‘mother worship’ to be so hypocritical. If we truly cared about our mothers, why not give them the right to go back to school and get a proper education, the freedom to pursue a career (by taking an equal share in the home and parenting duties), by encouraging them to pursue their interests, hobbies, and having a circle of friends, and time for them to go out and enjoy or unwind ?

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  5. No, Mothers are not respected. They are not given adequate maternity leave (at least 14 months) and many cannot even feed their child freely outside of their house. I have seen so many fellow mothers who are treated as nothing more than slaves who bear children, and also bear all of the work. Oh and I forgot to mention, mothers always get blamed for everything. If women are not respected, mothers are respected even less.

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  6. A friend of a friend – when she got a Central Govt job started a petition to have all “Father’s Name” changed to Parent’s name and “Husband’s name” changed to “Spouse”. What we need is a country-wide petition to speed this up. If they could roll out Aadhar, I’m sure they can do this pretty easily.

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  7. This is a ray of hope. I hope all documents, especially legal ones, adopt this.

    Not only should a mother be recognized, I also feel that a husband should be legally identifiable through the relationship with his wife. Right now, it’s Mrs Megha, wife of XX that goes on legal documents. Why can’t Mr Megha, husband of Mrs Megha be acceptable? On Joint legal paperwork, my husband is identified through his father, and I am supposed to be identified through my husband – this really exasperates me.

    For the voter ID I only provided my father’s name. When the card came back, I saw that my dad’s name identified as my husband. I really felt that some clerk did this, in the honest assumption that I did not put the name in right, since I did check off the box that I was married. Sigh.

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  8. I feel we should make it gender neutral, law should be same irrespective of gender (with exceptions). It should be parents/legal guardian (what if they are gay?) and spouse.

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  9. Actually some places already ask for that. CBSE board documents, UPSC, SSC and most state Public Service commission exams do. I have written so many of them, I know.

    What is funny, is that a married woman no longer identifies as D/O but as W/O. On the other hand, a married man simply has to fill in the names of his parents. I think that is a bigger bias.

    Funnier still are the official documents for rent, ration etc. For a couple, the wife is naturally assumed to be the dependent. I buy the ration and pay the rent and actually I am the one supporting my husband right now as his salary goes into investments. Although he is the one technically ‘dependent’ on me, I still have to occupy the ‘dependent’ column.

    It could simply have been a random column ‘Spouse’. Simple.

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  10. Pingback: “After all, why do we as kids, feel so entitled to our mother’s time, indeed her entire life and personality?” | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  11. Pingback: “I realise that I do not actually want to have kids of my own. I just don’t feel the need to have children of my own. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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