Gender stereotypes, combined with gender segregation and misogyny seems to have convinced many that some of us (mainly women) are mysterious beings – illogical, unpredictable, and thus difficult to understand.
Such articles seem to indicate that basic courtesy, respect, personal space and good manners are special favours – mainly when extended to women.
And that it is not manipulative to monitor, comment upon and control the personal choices of other people (specially women).
Take a look at some of the tips.
Tip number 1:
Tip number 1 seems to assume that men and women are obsessed with how much women weigh and that women’s happiness depends on men’s approval of women’s body-weight.
Who created this definition?
“Your girlfriend is, by definition, as light as a feather and nimble as a ballerina. To so much as whisper a hint of the notion that she might be, you know, otherwise, is to risk paying a price as heavy as you suspect her to be.”
So, according to this tip, women can’t be happy unless they have won men’s approval (and succeeded in pleasing them).
The men deserve sympathy, advice and support, because they bear the burden of assuring women of their success in making them (the men) happy. And this is the biggest challenge for men in relationship with women.
This tip also assumes being ‘light as a ballerina’ is the ideal for women to work for (while the rest of the world can be themselves, or healthy or fit or strong etc).
So men are advised not to ask, “Are you really going to eat all that?”
Please consider, why would we say this to anybody – man or woman?
1. Maybe we wanted to eat some of it?
2. Because we are paying for it and can’t afford the quantity?
3. Because we are the person’s personal dietician, paid to monitor their portions?
4. Because we just say things that make no sense even to our own selves?
5. Because we are raised to believe that women are supposed to eat the last and the least?
6. Because we believe a woman’s body is everybody’s business. And she lets everybody down by eating in ways that might not help her fit into their expectations?
Would men find such questions offensive? Why, or why not?
Maybe men are more likely to be asked to eat well and to be stronger than all the other men in their social circle.
Tip number 3:
“My ex used to … “
‘Anything you say with the words “my ex” in it will be held against you… Of course it’s natural to compare your girlfriends, but keep it to yourself.’
Would you say this is something that should not be said specifically to women?
Are non-women more amenable to being compared to exes?
This stereotype is even more ironical in a culture where jealous, entitled and insecure men are known to honor kill, sexually assault, burn alive, or attack with acid, blade, MMS clips.
Tip number 6:
“Yeah, she’s hot”
Chances are she lured you in with an innocent question, like, “Do you think she’s cute?” … You must lie quickly and reflexively. … In fact, you win extra points for casually finding fault in her the closer you look. Watch your girlfriend light up as you say, “Is it me, or is her nose a bit weird?”
Same as Point 3 above.
Tip number 7:
“What’s up with your hair?”
“She’s allowed to have a bad hair day, but you’re not allowed to notice. For girls, hair isn’t just hair.”
Sounds like: She is ‘allowed’ to sometimes fail to win your approval. For women hair isn’t just hair, it’s failure to please you!
Tip number 9:
“Is this your time of the month?”
This advice is blatantly sexist.
It amounts to: Women tend to ‘shriek and stamp and then burst into tears for no reason’. And when this happens it is only because they are ‘deranged by hormones’. (While, when men ‘shriek and stamp’ – they have been provoked into natural manly anger.)
Tip number 10:
“I love you”
This is supposed to be the magic pill, the cure-all, the instant fix. But the thing about the L word is that it sends women into a heightened sense of awareness. As soon as they hear it, they can tell whether or not you mean it.
Again, is this a women-specific trait? How would the rest of the world react to this?