Why is it misogynistic to promise wives from Bihar to Haryana men who are not able to find wives because of the skewed gender ratio in their state?
1. It implies that the biggest problem with the skewed gender ratio in Haryana is the men who are not able to find wives.
2. It implies that bringing wives from Bihar is the answer to the unwillingness of Haryana families/communities to have and to raise daughters.
3. It implies that we can continue to pretend that skewed gender ratio is caused because of Dowry demands alone and can be controlled by banning Sex Selection.
It lets us continue to not-ask – Why don’t the people of Haryana (India) want to have and to raise daughters? Why does our society see daughters as unwanted burdens? Answers here.
4. But most of all – what about the women they are ‘bringing’?
Do these women have the option of choosing to marry men from elsewhere, or not marrying at all? Do these women feel entitled to freedom, equality, justice, reasonable safety, self reliance and equal opportunities?
How does providing single men with wives from other states help/affect the skewed gender ratio in Haryana?
Why ‘bring’ innocent women into a dangerous, misogynistic, sexist society, where, if they were born there, they would possibly have been killed in the womb or a little later?
Also, where, they would never be as powerful, entitled, self reliant, free, happy or fairly treated as the men are?
So what can be done for these young, unmarried men in Haryana?
They are adults and they need to be informed that women are people, they are not born to be future-wives for men. That the men are not entitled to ‘wives’.
They should be encouraged to find out, question and challenge the Patriarchal norms that have lead to this unwillingness by an entire society to have girl children.
Maybe they will find out for themselves that banning sex selective abortions is not the answer because – Skewed sex ratio is not caused by sex selective abortions.
But maybe they will not. Because they are being seen as victims and being ‘promised’ wives.
Addressing a Kisan Mahasammelan (farmers’ meeting) at Narwana in Jind on Friday, Dhankar asked the gathering to strengthen the hands of BJP in the state, saying, “Making BJP strong also means that those youths in many villages who are roaming without brides will get one.”
Dhankar, who is BJP Kisan Morcha president and had lost the Lok Sabha polls to Congress’ Deepinder Hooda from Rohtak, said when he was touring the constituency, he used to hear tales that some youths were bringing brides from Bihar and other places.
“I told them that Sushil Modi (senior BJP leader in Bihar) is a good friend of mine. We will ensure a compatible match and do away with the practice of bringing brides from any other place,” he said.