21 thoughts on “Why are these dads such a threat to patriarchal social structures?

  1. I think I should forward it to my French friends who believe gay men should not be allowed to adopt as (according to them) they are all pedophiles…They were very upset when last gay marriages and therefore, gay adoption became legal in France…we just couldn’t get through to them…


  2. “Why are they a threat to patriarchy?” Here’s my guess. In the “typical” family, there is a father – a male, the head of the family. There is a mother – a female, at his beck and call and his to dominate. In a family like the one described here, there would probably be a greater degree of true “equality” of the spouses. It would go against the grain of patriarchal thinking that any male (of similar age) can be lorded over like a woman, and how can they live without lording it over someone? Their fragile egos are after all at stake.


  3. Of course men can be sensitive, loving, responsible, caring parents !
    It’s so sexist when it is assumed that simply because they are men, they’ll be bad at some things, especially when that thing is looking after a kid.


  4. Simple. These fathers are a threat to the nuclear family model. But you know what, I’m fine with that, because that model isn’t based on love or anything like that, but on social control.


  5. I find that there are quite a few men (even those deeply embedded in the traditional, patriarchal structure) who are naturally inclined to nurturing and caring for little children. I’ve seen many men in my own family play with little children by getting down to their level on to the floor, cooing to them, tickling them. They take absolute delight in engaging with children. I’ve seen them tuck a pillow under a sleepy child’s head when they fall asleep on a sofa. I’ve seen them rock a crying baby, wipe a runny nose, and bend down to tighten little shoe laces.

    Many of these men tend to suppress this beautiful quality because they may be afraid of not being seen as “real men”. You’d think caring/sensitivity/thoughtfulness makes a man seem more attractive/intelligent …. but society seems to have a problem with this.

    I’m sure men feel this conflict – they want to be loving but stop themselves from showing their love for fear of being ridiculed. Isn’t it only human to want to express your love? Why is this seen as weak, when men do it? It can actually be such a liberating experience.


  6. Pingback: Emma Watson to men : Gender equality is your issue too. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  7. Pingback: 27 ways in which Patriarchy harms men. | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  8. Pingback: The Changing Role of Dads | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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