What kind of society tolerates the idea that a 23 year old is not capable of knowing what and who makes her happy, and somehow another adult – and this is someone who is capable of inflicting grievous violence, is seen to have ‘her best interest’ (or anybody’s best interest) in mind? This violent person also finds sympathisers – including in the TOI comment section.
What makes so many non violent and seemingly civilised people excuse violence under certain circumstances? Is it just that we are so used to seeing violence being justified that we see it as a normal (or practical) method of coping with disagreements?
We also know that more than half of young Indians believe it’s okay for a man to beat his wife. [53% Indian boys and 57% Indian girls believe it’s okay for a husband to beat his wife]
And we tolerate educated fathers openly threatening their daughters with honor killing. (link)
It seems many Indians believe:
1. It is necessary to control other (mainly young) people’s personal lives, happiness and liberties to save Honor, ‘Society’, Patriarchy, the Institution of Marriage etc (i.e. the status quo).
2. Use of violence to save culture, religion, tradition, family values, honor etc has to be tolerated.
On Wednesday, Suma had gone to her father’s weaving unit in Dommasandra where she also works. Chinnaswamy came to meet her defying Reddy. When he saw them talking, an enraged Reddy ru8sh8ed at Chinnaswamy, chopper in hand. A shocked Suma tried to save her lover but received the brunt of her father’s fury. She received grievous blows from the weapon.
And here is a comment explaining the circumstances under which violence is tolerable to many Indians.
It could also be because this Chinnaswamy is a vagrant, a no good, unemployed married looser with bad hygiene. We don’t know.. if this “lover boy” is indeed unemployed and belongs to an underprivileged family he could very well be seducing the girl in the hope to one day usurp the business and improve his financial conditions… The hatred that Ashok Reddy displayed against the lover boy could be because he wanted to protect his innocent, gullible daughter against the well thought out, sinister plans of Chinnaswamy.
A Question: Is there any way this can change without media campaigns creating awareness about women being ‘people’, capable and deserving of making their own decisions – right and wrong, and learning, unlearning and moving on?