“I think most problems in life are when we look for approval and validation outside of ourselves.”

But there is more to this ‘permission’…

Sharing The Purple Sheep’s response to the two emails by small town girl married off into a village’. 


I had read and commented on your latest post

“I don’t want such education… I want no career… I want to be loved.”

I feel we must make changes inwards for us to be assertive and at peace with ourselves. Only when we are able to de clutter our minds and free ourselves of other people’s projections on us can we find the path we want to take and the strength to follow.

I think most problems in life are when we look for approval and validation outside of ourselves.

I am undergoing therapy and my therapist asked me to write ‘I love myself’ as many times as I can. So I made a small illustration in which i incorporated ‘I love myself’ which I have attached with this email. My therapist told me its very healing to look at. Sometimes pictures convey at a different level than words. I request you to share if with the LW either on your blog or email as you see fit.

Sending prayers and hope

I love myself

I am attaching one more. Here the girl is is happy and at peace with herself because she has built a boundary of love around her making it difficult for gossip, criticism and flattery and other ways of control to permeate through. Please do share this also with her. I hope it will be a positive start.

I hope it reinforces positivity and a strong belief in ourselves.


Thank you IHM for being a wonderful channel of awareness.

Related Posts: (Posts about control and validation)

“My husband says he can’t go against his family. My father says study but not without your FIL’s permission.”

‘If you don’t mutter under your breath “I hate you” atleast once in your life, I am not doing my job properly.’

Does loving someone mean we should ‘improve’ them?

When you offer her respect,

So, what makes forgiving, forgetting and moving on difficult sometimes?


22 thoughts on ““I think most problems in life are when we look for approval and validation outside of ourselves.”

  1. Dear IHM and Purple Sheep,
    Thank you so much for sharing these illustrations and the Steve Jobs quote today. I’ve been struggling with how other people’s perception of me drives my life choices and self esteem (which, not surprisingly, is low). Me and many of my friends often think we should aspire for something, because that is what people around me feel we should do. (and we are not blameless either, our unhappiness makes us judge other people’s choices)
    Your pictures and email just reminded me that loving ourselves is essential to a rich life and will help us love and be loved in general 🙂
    I feel so lucky to be able to reach out to people like you


  2. Absolutely agree. Nice pictures. I went through a bad patch and sought help – got the same advice. ” To love myself”. The mantra I was taught went like this – ” Even though….(fill in with whatever is troubling you) I completely love and accept myself”. It was very powerful, because it made me admit many things which I thought, but didn’t dare voice. Most things were about my personality and it has now made it much much easier for me to recognize when I have a reaction out of anger/ jealousy. It helped me recognize that having such feeling didn’t make me a bad person; articulation and accepting how I felt was a lot more empowering. Hope your healing journey is equally successful.


  3. Thanks for liking and thanks IHM for sharing. I am happy to bring about happiness and positive thinking through my art. It inspires me to follow my dreams no matter how many toes I have to step on and how many feathers I have to ruffle. I am glad it resonates with you all. I will continue to do more of them and hopefully start a blog on that.


  4. Could not agree more. The energy that goes into convincing everyone around about what you want to do or what you are is draining and chances are that the opinions if negative consistently will put you down. Thank you for sharing this 🙂


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