Another email from the small town girl ‘married off’ into a village in Rajasthan. Do you think this is one rare case?
How fair is it to have to choose between being ‘loved’ and being happy? What would you say to her so that she does not give up on her life, happiness and dreams?
I asked my mother and she recommended the email writer watches Diya Aur Baati Hum – I watched some episodes on the link above and it seems to be a TV serial about a man struggling to grow out of being a Shravan Kumar without being tagged a Joru Ka Ghulaam. And supporting his wife in fulfilling her dreams of education and a career.
I think I should accept defeat now. I have become totally alone. Everybody is cursing only me. They are saying I am wrong. Nobody talks to me nicely/affectionately.
Today was the limit…. In the evening Papa came home… he brought some fast food for me… I said I don’t feel like eating it.. then suddenly he got so angry that he first raised his hand on me and then started hitting his own head on the wall…. I tried to calm him down… then Mummy reached there… she pushed me away from Papa… and looked at me as if I am to be blamed for everything. …. everybody is unhappy because of me…. everybody is cursing me…
I don’t want such education…. I want no career… I want to be loved… I have become so alone… am I so bad? What have I asked for that’s so bad?… Is it bad to study after getting married? I am very tired. I can’t take this any more.
In response to my email.
I have attempted to start classes at home… I love art and craft… paiting, sewing, diy crafts… I can do all this… so I asked about starting these classes at home… but FIL did not agree for that either, he says if women from the village come home every day then they will go and talk about us to the entire village.
…. (rest in Hindi)
FIL ko samjhana to deewar p sar fodne k baraabar h…wo bahut ajeeb h…bahut andhvishvasi bhi h….pata nahi unhe koi maansik bimari h ya kya h bhagwan jaane per bahut ajeeb ajeeb baate karte h…kahte h me poorvjanm me saadhu baba tha..meri beti mera chela thi…meri wife mere aashram ki gaay(cow) thi…kahte h k mere sapno me mere poorvajanm k maharaj aate h aur mujhe duniya bhar ki khabar dete h…kon kaha kya kar raha h mujhe sab pata hota h ( ek din mene pooch liya k papa batao me abhi room me kya kar rahi thi to baat ko mazak me taal diya)…kahte h agar me kisi nayi jagah p raat me ruk jau to us jagah k saare bhoot mere paas aake apna dhukh mujhe sunate h…kahte h me kisi bhi bimari ka ilaaz kar sakta hu..example bhi dete h k Delhi k aiims hospital k docter ko ek jeanetic bimari thi , jiski wajah se unka ek haath anytime hilta (vibrate) rahta tha, mene uske haath bhaboot lagayi aur wo theek ho gaya (meri MIL 20 saal se aurthritis ki mareez h unhe to aaj tah theek kar nahi paye)…kahte h jab bhi me koi khaali zameen dekhta hu to mujhe neeche pataal (hell) tak sab kuch dikhta h…
Ab aap hi bataeeye IHM kya ese insaan se samajhdaari ki umeed ki ja sakti h kya.
Sabse bade aashcharya ki baat h ki mere pati itne padhe likhe hoke bhi unki baato p yakeen karte h…kahte h mujhe to papa se bahut dar lagta h…kabhi unhe gussa aa jaye to wo shrap de sakte h…aur wo jise shrap de dete h us insaan ki zindagi to tabaah ho jaati h…
Ab aap hi batayeeye IHM…kya esi maansikta wale logo ko convince kiya ja sakta h kya?
The last line:
“Now you only tell me IHM… can anybody convince someone with such a mindset?”
Isn’t there anything positive we can say?