Response to “Koi Baap Apni Beti Ko Kab Jaane Se Rok Paya Hai”

Anil Singhal shared this – we still receive these forwards.

If it wasn’t for this mindset, there would be no skewed gender ratio, sex selection and male child preference.

“DEDICATED TO ALL GIRLS… ”

DAUGHTER TO FATHER::

Mujhe Itnaa Pyaaar Naa Do papa,
Kal Jane Ye Mujhe Naseeb Na Ho
Ye Jo Maatha Chuuma Karte Ho,
Kal Iss Par Shikkan Azeeb Na Ho

(Rough translation: Don’t give me so much love papa, tomorrow I may not be destined to such love. This kiss on my forehead that you plant, May it not be replaced by worry lines in future)
Mein Jab Bhi Roti Hoon papa,
Tum Aansun Poncha Karte Ho (When I cry papa, you wipe my tears)
Mujhey Itni Door Na Chhor Aana,
Mein Roun Or Tum Qareeb Na Ho (Don’t abandon me so far away, that I cry and you are not close by)
Mere Naaz Uthaate Ho papa,
Mujhe Laad Ladate Ho papa (you pamper me)
Meri Chotti-2 Khwahish Parr,
Tum Jaan Lootate Ho papa (You fulfill my little desires)
Kal Aisaa Naa Ho Ek Nagri Meinn,
Mein Tanha Tum Ko Yaad Karun (It should not happen that in future I miss you in some city, all alone)
Aur Ro Ro Kar Fariyaaad Karun, (and cry and plead…)
Aey Bhagwan Mere papa Saa Koi Pyaaar Jataane Wala Ho (Oh God let there be someone loving and caring like my papa)
Mere Naaz Uthane Wala Ho .(someone to pamper me)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Descent Reply Of FATHER…..!!
Jo Soch Rahi Ho Tum Beti Wo Sab To Ek Maya Hai (What you are thinking daughter is all an illusion)
Koi Baap Apni Beti Ko Kab Jaane Se Rok Paya Hai (Has any father ever managed to stop his daughter from going away? i.e. to her in laws’ house)
Sach Kahte Hai Duniyaan Wale
Beti To Dhann Parayaa Hai (What the world says is true, a daughter is a paraya dhan  i.e. somebody’s property, not her parents’ wealth)
Gharr Gharr Ki Yahin Kahaani Hai
Duniyaan Ki Ye Reet Puraani Hai (This is the story of every home, it is the world’s old tradition)
Har Baap Nibhaaata Aaya Hai
Tere Baap Ne Bhi Nibhani Hai…….. (Every father has honored this tradition, and your father has to respect it too)

* * *

What if we responded to such forwards with some progressive and feminist thoughts?

Here is an attempt – would love to read yours, in any language, with translation.

Yeh sab batein ab hooin bahut puraani hai
Beta shaadi ke alawaa bhi zindgani hai.
Tum dhan naheen aulad ho
Apne pairon par khade hoker,
choolo aasman
Mein hoon har pal tumhare saath
Khush ya dukhi, sahi ya galat, din ya raat
Jab yaad aye tab mobile uthaana
Ya dil chahe to  flight book karke khud chalee aana🙂

___________________________________________

Rough Translation:

All these are things of past
My child, there is life beyond getting married and staying married.
You are my child, not my dhan
Stand on your own two feet.
Reach for the skies.
I am with you, always.
Happy or sad, right or wrong, day or night.
Pick your mobile when you need to talk, Or if you feel like, just book a flight and come over🙂

Related Posts:

“But, my only motive in life has been my daughter’s happiness which is now in your hands. I beg you, please keep her happy”

Paraya dhan and her limited rights.

These lines sum up the biggest reason for male child preference and skewed gender ratio in India.

“I am glad that my parents never thought of raising us as ‘future daughters-in-law’.”

When a newly married Indian woman gives up her career, what else does she give up?

How important is it for a girl to get married?

When a daughter refuses to go back.

“See – UNICEF has figured it out. It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out.”

So what could make even the average, selfish, money-minded Indian family welcome baby girls?

“I am glad that my parents never thought of raising us as ‘future daughters-in-law’.”

An email from an Indian father: I want to place on record my own story as a warning to anyone…

Do you think this video can make Indian parents want to have daughters?

Are Happily Married Daughters a status symbol in India?

The interference of parents in the married life of their daughters…

Indian family values are good for Indian daughters?

Difficult daughters, easy sons?

What do you think of this mother, and this family?

“This man is openly threatening his daughter and is instigating others to burn alive their daughters.”

“Hoping god grants more wisdom to your parents to make you understand things and train you to be a good indian wife.”

When a daughter refuses to go back…

44 thoughts on “Response to “Koi Baap Apni Beti Ko Kab Jaane Se Rok Paya Hai”

  1. IHM, this post is not showing up on the main page. The date is given for 7th March. Maybe you should change the date to today so it will show up properly on the main page.

    Like

  2. Love your response IHM!!!
    I wish every parent in India said that to their daughters.
    Unfortunately, even most of the ‘modern’, ‘open minded’, ‘loving’ parents tend to stick with the standard ‘decent’ response.

    Can anyone make a poster / image of IHM response? Would love to share it on FB/elsewhere. What are we waiting for, let’s spread the word🙂

    Like

  3. I am reminded of the old ditty

    A son is a son till he gets a wife.
    A daughter is a daughter all her life.

    Here is something I had seen before and made a note of:

    मां-बापू
    क्यों कहते हो मुझे पराया धन?
    तुमने मुझे जन्म दिया,
    पाल पोस कर बड़ा किया,
    खून बहता है तुम्हारा मेरी रगों में,
    किसी और को में जानती नहीं.

    बताओ न मां-बापू
    कौन है वह जो मुझे तुम्हें दे गया?
    कृष्ण को जन्म दिया देवकी ने,
    पाला पोसा यशोदा ने,
    क्या कृष्ण पराया धन थे?
    देवकी का यशोदा के पास,
    पर मेरे साथ तो ऐसा भी नहीं है,
    मुझे तुम्हीं ने जन्म दिया,
    तुम्हीं ने पाला पोसा,
    फ़िर में कैसे हो गई पराया धन?

    भैया की तरह मैं बेटी हूँ तुम्हारी,
    उसे कभी नहीं कहा तुमने पराया धन,
    मैं भी तुम्हारा अपना धन हूँ,
    भैया की तरह,
    मां-बापू,
    मत कहो मुझे पराया धन,
    जब तुम ऐसा कहते हो,
    कलेजा कटता है मेरा.
    Posted by Suresh Chandra at Wednesday, January 28, 2009
    Source: http://kavya-kunj.blogspot.com/2009/01/blog-post_28.html

    ===============
    Regards
    GV

    Like

  4. Simply loved your poetic response, IHM! esp the last 2 lines🙂
    And yes, I think the best response to such forwards is to create and circulate appropriate scathing responses. Really tired of reading such drivel

    Like

  5. ‘decent response of father’ sounds like the father is abandoning his daughter or giving her up for adoption. God!!! And parents feel oh- so- virtuous for thinking/ doing/ conveying so! Kab ye soch badlegi…?

    Like

  6. I am your father
    As long as I and your mom are alive
    Your eyes should not have a tear
    Your heart should not feel alone
    You are our daughther
    You are small part of us
    The better part of us…….
    We love you
    For you we can fight with all the world
    We believe in you, always proud of you
    Remember here is your home
    Even day when we will not be here
    Is your place to return,
    To find your peace,
    To rest,
    To regain your power, to conquer the world,
    To smile again…
    To live your life without tears, without pain……..

    Like

  7. Great response.

    The crying and pleading part about ‘let there be someone like my papa’ was really annoying and indicative of majorly creepy daddy issues. I felt like shaking the narrator (daughter) and saying ‘girl, if you want to find someone who cares about you, go ahead and find him instead of crying and praying and hoping he’s going to magically land at your feet.’

    Agree with Raindrop that scathing/ contradictory responses are the way to go. I’d go with–Parents, don’t raise your kids to be like this. This dad (where’s the mom?) who believes his daughter to be property has raised her to be a virtually powerless whiner using ‘old world traditions’ as an excuse.

    Like

  8. These lines reminds me of another song by Sona Mohapatra
    Babul pyare sajana sakhare
    Suno meri maiya
    Bhoj nahin main kisi ke sar ka
    Na majdhaar mein naiya
    Patwar banungi .. Leharon se ladungi
    Arrey mujhe kya bechega rupaiya
    Hooo.. arrey mujhe kya bechega rupaiya hoooo …

    Kal baba ki ungli ko thame chali thi
    Kal baba ki laathi bhi ban jayungi
    Amma tere gharonde ki chidiyan hoon main
    Daana lekar hi wapas ghar aaungi
    Jiski fitrat mein hain ratt samaayi nahi
    Jisko daulat se zyada main bhai nahi
    Aise sajan ki mujhe zaroorat nahin
    Na kehene ka sunlo mahurat yahin
    Akeli chalungi ..Kismat se milungi
    Arrey mujhe kya bechega rupaiya
    Hooo.. arrey mujhe kya bechega rupaiya hoooo …

    Dil se dil ke taar toh judhe nahin
    Do rasmon pe daulat ye kahe bahe
    Hum do pyar ki khawahish mein rishte bune
    Do rishton mein lalach hum kahe sahe
    Kya shaadi ke aage zindagi nahi
    Jo shaadi hisabo ki keval hai wahi
    Aise shaadi ki mujhko zaroorat nahin
    Na kehene ka sunlo muharat yahin
    Subaha si khilungi .. Ratiya si bharungi
    Arrey mujhe kya bechega rupaiya
    Hooo.. arrey mujhe kya bechega rupaiya hoooo …

    Like

  9. Reading the daughters lines made me gag, what a fatalistic whiner. with a majot daddy complex.
    and the dad’s decent response?? there’s an indecent response too????🙂 where I’d like to read that, loved IHM’s response,
    mine would be to grow up, grow wings and make your life as you wish, while dad does his thing and always has your goodwill at heart.

    Like

  10. Itna pyaar kyun na dun beti,
    Tum toh hamara naaz ho.
    Maathe par shikan ayegi kyun?
    Tum har mod pe apni khushiyan chuno.

    Haan tum door udogi, duniya utni badi hai.
    Dekhna toh tumhe har jageh hai, seekhna toh itna kuch hai,
    Takleefein aayengi, rona bhi aayega,
    Tum akeli na ho, hum tumhare saath hain.

    Kal kisi nagari mein, tum tanha hume yaad kyun karogi?
    Skype naam ki bhi koi cheez hai!
    Kabhi laad pyaar ki yaad aaye,
    toh bas thode se paise feko,
    Airplanes / trains tumhare kadmon mein haazir hain.

    Zindagi ki raah mein khoob ladke milenge,
    School, college, gym, office, road aur traffic signals pe,
    Unhe theek se parakhna seekho,
    Bhaav sirf use do, do tumhe pasand karein, tumhari izzat karein.
    tum jaisi ho, waise tumhe chaahein.
    Jise tumhari khushi mein khushi mile.
    Kabhi usne tumhe daraya dhamkaya, toh ek punch maarkar nikal aana.
    Ghar hamara hamesha khula hai, beti tumhare liye.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fabulous. Have got so sick of reading sentiments like the above one being shared on FB and women falling over themselves to declare them as “very touching”, “so true”, “made me tear up” etc. Time women at the very least and sensible men stood up and said enough to this rubbish.

      Like

      • Admittedly a crude translation, but still ..
        Here goes..
        Regards
        GV

        ==============

        Itna pyaar kyun na dun beti,
        Tum toh hamara naaz ho.
        Maathe par shikan ayegi kyun?
        Tum har mod pe apni khushiyan chuno.

        Oh daughter, why wouldn’t we give you so much love?
        You are our pride.
        Why would there be furrows on your forehead?
        At every stage (in life) choose what makes you happy

        Haan tum door udogi, duniya utni badi hai.
        Dekhna toh tumhe har jageh hai, seekhna toh itna kuch hai,
        Takleefein aayengi, rona bhi aayega,
        Tum akeli na ho, hum tumhare saath hain.

        Yes, you will soar high, the world is vast
        You ought to experience every place, There is so much to learn.
        There will be difficulties, there will be tears
        But you are not alone. We are with you.

        Kal kisi nagari mein, tum tanha hume yaad kyun karogi?
        Skype naam ki bhi koi cheez hai!
        Kabhi laad pyaar ki yaad aaye,
        toh bas thode se paise feko,
        Airplanes / trains tumhare kadmon mein haazir hain.

        Tomorrow, living in some big city, you may possibly not remember us.
        There is something called Skype
        If you ever fondly recall our love and pampering
        Simpy spend some money
        Airplanes and trains are available to you.

        Zindagi ki raah mein khoob ladke milenge,
        School, college, gym, office, road aur traffic signals pe,
        Unhe theek se parakhna seekho,
        Bhaav sirf use do, do tumhe pasand karein, tumhari izzat karein.
        tum jaisi ho, waise tumhe chaahein.
        Jise tumhari khushi mein khushi mile.
        Kabhi usne tumhe daraya dhamkaya, toh ek punch maarkar nikal aana.
        Ghar hamara hamesha khula hai, beti tumhare liye.

        In your life, you will meet many boys
        At schools, college, gym, office, roads and at traffic signals
        Learn to evaluate them properly
        Give importance to only those who like you, and respect you
        And love you the way you are
        Who find happiness in your happiness
        If he ever scares or threatens you, then give him a punch and leave him
        Our house is always open to you, oh daughter.

        Like

  11. One day, my dad had done something super sweet for me – i forget exactly what – and I said to my husband that no one can take care of me like my dad does. Hubby said , “obviously”

    Something clicked at that moment. I mean consciously. Yes. I want dad to be dad. I’m always going to be his baby. No matter what. Yes feminism. Yes independence. Blah blah. Still. dad will always want to take care of me and look out for me. That’s a comforting thought.

    A spouse is not a substitute parent. A husband does not substitute a father nor a wife a mother. this sentiment is alarmingly commmon in india and causes endless trouble. I took so much care o him…. his wife makes him do so much… boo hoo… ugh! I’m so sick of this sentiment. When will people learn to take care of themselves?

    Independence is such a dirty word in India…

    Like

  12. Dear Daughter,

    I hope you know,
    when I taught you how to kick that soccer ball,
    I was also subliminally teaching you how to kick the heads,
    of everyone who thinks that you are my or their property.

    Make me proud.

    Like

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