Why do we see contradictory judgments on issues of denial of sex by wife or the wife being forbidden from wearing what she likes to wear?
But earlier in another case in Delhi,
[“…the wife’s cruel act of denying sex to the husband especially on the very first night and then not to actively participate in it”]
I think because it is impossible to completely ignore the unfairness in situations that so clearly deny human rights to those being judged. And while, for many, it does raise “…the specter of a man going for long periods without sex even though he’s married!” [Do click and read]
And maybe while some of us may have never really given it a serious thought, we do sense something wrong with any adults being controlled by other equal adults?
Maybe we sense that women’s sexuality and women’s clothing are both used as means to control women’s lives and choices?
Maybe we do see the sense of entitlement in forbidding anybody from wearing clothes of their choice, or from from socializing or making friends of their own choice (let alone having consensual sex)? And then being grateful for opportunities to serve their lords and masters.
Maybe we sense there is more to it? Where does this sense of entitlement come from? Maybe we see slavery in the tradition of some people being kept in dependence so that they can be expected to serve, obey and adjust?
Maybe we do sense it’s wrong (even though many of us never question) how the above is made possible with use of force, violence, threats of murder, social boycott, moral policing, by denial of opportunities to form any preferences/opinions of their own.
So we actually have adults who think controlling what other people wear is not cruelty, wearing what is found comfortable is cruelty.
The spouse here felt it was cruel to deny him the right to control what the wife wore,
The court also ruled that a wife donning shirts and pants to office occasionally and going out of town for office work soon after marriage also would not amount to cruelty towards her husband.
More examples of this same sense of entitlement.
… the wife cited several instances of cruelty…. One of her grievances was that she was forced to wear sari by her in-laws.
So some of us think controlling other people’s lives is not cruelty, while their not being controlled is cruelty.