An email from a happy girlfriend.

Sharing an email🙂

Dear IHM,

Hope you are doing well,and having loads of fun with brat three🙂
I am a silent reader of your blog and today just want to say a few words to all those girls who get into relationships and gradually just get sucked into the whirlpool of non sense .If you know what i mean.I am not talking about marriages here,but relationships which become possessive and mean and smart girls loose out on many a precious years struggling with those.
I am a 26 year old chirpy girl, suffering from breast cancer,but i am in a beautiful relationship that works as my life drug.We both have known each other since the last eight years,been in a committed relationship since four.When i was diagnosed with cancer,i asked him to leave me since i was suffering from low self esteem and was in denial,but this guy has stuck around and been my rock of Gibraltar,ever since.
He has been instrumental in making me join work.I now work as a special needs educator in a very good school in NCR.He has boosted what we call a HSE- a healthy self esteem.Loves it when i get all dressed up,likes clicking pictures,going out,reading,watching movies or just fooling around! He treats me just normal.Is very caring when i am in pain,understands when i sleep for days on end because of medicines.The best part is while i am nursing myself back to good health,he ensures that he has a healthy social life,goes on trips,explores various places,pursues his love for photography,has his boy parties,plays cricket,goes running and comes home happy. 
Never has he once made me feel that he is doing some favor to me,by being with a girl who is unable to go out on trips or looses energy quickly,or does not hang out with him as much.
He constantly inspires me to do well in my career,is super happy when i tell him tales of children at school.Is proud when i attend conferences et all.
I love the fact that i am never flooded with calls or texts asking me where and with whom i am,instead,it is a text or call to find out if i am doing fine,or that he is thinking of me!
He has never forced me or tried talking me into to having sex with him.NOT EVEN ONCE. We have been in innumerable situations where we are cuddling and can,but never has he done that.It makes me feel so nice (lack of better word). Always being appreciative of my body ( i am no runway model,and like all men and women,i also feel a few things could be better), even when he noticed that i was loosing hair after chemo,he just smiled a knowing smile.
This relationship has given me a confidence,where i know whatever i say,will be heard,a step that i take will be appreciated, a text is looked forward to,a call is valued.I know for sure that he will not raise his voice at me,since i will not take it.I also know that i cannot call him names,shout at him as he will never take it.Neither of us can say condescending things about each other’s families.A few ground rules that we have laid down for ourselves as self respecting individuals.
My point here is for girls who are in the age group pf 17-27 that,it is totally unacceptable to be with a guy who constantly calls you to know your whereabouts,who speaks in a degrading manner about your body,does not value your decisions and ideas and most importantly does not value your professional growth.He should value you as a woman,a human with your own ideas and aspirations and respect them.
He has been an amazing person to be with and i am glad we found each other.We have discovered that relationships can be be beautiful,only if we know our non-sense threshold.Please don’t waste your valuable time being in relationships that leave you emotionally drained and uncomfortable.Rather be in relationships that make us a little more kick ass than we already are:)
More power to LOVE !
Lots of love
HaPpY girlfriend!
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46 thoughts on “An email from a happy girlfriend.

  1. @Happy Girlfriend–loved reading your email. Your relationship sounds amazing. Absolutely agree with “it is totally unacceptable to be with a guy who constantly calls you to know your whereabouts,who speaks in a degrading manner about your body,does not value your decisions and ideas and most importantly does not value your professional growth.”

    Hope you guys stay amazingly happy in the future🙂

    Like

  2. bless you both🙂❤ .. may you continue to love and grow together ..

    reminds me of Khalil Gibran's poem on togetherness ..
    "Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
    Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
    Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
    Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
    Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
    Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music."

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Simply superb. Happy Girlfriend, I hope you stay happy and you get over your ailment soon enough. Couples like you need to speak up and let others know how beautiful relationships can be and how to make them work. Kudos!

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  4. Wowww Happy Girlfriend! Just wow! Inspiring and infectious attitude! Wish more people would understand that there is more to relationship than control.
    Hugs and prayers.

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  5. When I saw this post I almost jumped…. wondering if I had written it…🙂 My story is almost excatly the same..

    I am a now almost 2 -year Breast cancer survivor. When I was diagnosed ,I was 29, my boyfriend and I were living in together, and kind of committed, but not entirely so. But, after being diagnosed, I asked him to leave me, to go find happiness with healthy cancer-free girl. But he stuck around through the 9 long months of painful treatments. I have to mention we live away from India, and for short whiles our families came to help, but for the bulk of the treatment , it was me and him and friends. He would cook, and clean endlessly, and take care of me, and tell me I was gorgoeous even though I was bald.

    Isnt it strange that I look back on that time as the most romantic time of my life? I guess that what a wonderful relationship does even to the very worst of circumstances🙂

    I wish you both much health , happiness, love and laughter, and hope the treatments are easy on you. It does get better.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I teared up at this…I wish you a spectacular recovery from your illness! Let your boyfriend know exactly how you feel…tell him whatever you told us and I’m sure he’ll just smile his knowing smile at you again🙂 That’s what a true relationship is about.

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  7. I m soooooo jealous..😉
    Loved the post a lot… I too thought “Love” as they show in movies or books is just a lie.. untill i met someone too🙂
    There is something I have analysed about why girls get into such crap relationships.. It is just something i felt when i n my friends started dating..
    @indianhomemaker.. allow me to link this post to give my views..🙂

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  8. LW, I never thought such men existed. It renews our faith in humanity. Pray for your complete recovery. Keep loving, laughing and sharing. Your story is a great inspiration.

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  9. Really happy to hear the story of a happy relationship.As a regular reader of IHM’s blog,I often left this blog feeling outraged after reading the emails.This is one of the first emails shared that made me smile!

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  10. Hugs to you Happy girlfriend. What a beautiful relationship you guys share. Your email made my day!
    I once went to a yoga class only to find out that it was meant for cancer survivors. I was about to leave but the teacher said I could stay for the first class. The participants talked about what they were going through. And yes, they came with their boyfriends, partners, spouses. It was truly inspiring. And they did have your kick-ass attitude as well and a great sense of humor to boot! Wishing you all the best with your treatments, your positive attitude and the love and support from your bf will definitely help.

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  11. Here are two bear hugs from me – one for you, and one for your boyfriend. Here’s hoping you stay cancer free, and get well enough to go on as many “girl trips”, and enjoy life as much as your guy does!

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  12. An amazing and heart-warming story. You guys have a relationship that is probably better, richer, stronger and less restricting than many marriages. Good for you.

    “He has never forced me or tried talking me into to having sex with him.NOT EVEN ONCE. We have been in innumerable situations where we are cuddling and can,but never has he done that.It makes me feel so nice (lack of better word).”

    Would sex being a part of this relationship be such a bad thing? I mean keeping aside the breast cancer and its ongoing treatment factor, for a minute.

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    • I don’t think sex can be kept aside from the medical condition and its treatment. Sex is an amazing part of a relationship, when it is mutually desired.

      But when the OP is undergoing treatment for breast cancer, the drugs could very well reduce her libido. And it would be very nasty (can’t think of the most appropriate word here) of her boyfriend to pressurize her in to having sex when she is not feeling like it.

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  13. This makes me immensely happy(yeah I know its not my life!! which just makes me more happier)…Kudos to you Happy Girlfriend. Wishing you many more years of love and success in booting cancer too!!

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  14. Dear friends,we thank you for your lovely wishes and we return each hug with a warmer hug🙂
    I would just like to make a point here ‘ i was never forced for sex’ only means i was never coerced- as in not emotionally blackmailed or taken to a room,just like the many cases i know.We understand that healthy under the covers moments contribute immensely to healthy relationships and we follow the same.The emphasis is on my consent as much as his (yes, my libido touches rock bottom and i get extremely irritable) and that makes it beautiful🙂

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  15. Happysim, no doubt, you have a boyfriend who is a keeper – but I’m just as amazed at your clarity of thought and how your writing actually put things in perspective for many amongst us who are living their lives in denial. Thank you for sharing this beautiful personal story. Would love to know if you blog!

    Wishing you both many happy years of togetherness🙂

    Like

  16. Beautiful and heart-warming! Hugs to you, wishing you a speedy recovery! Your BF seems really really amazing, may such people increase in number!

    Totally off topic, can anyone please suggest a good(no patriarchal nonsense) marriage counsellor in Bangalore?

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    • I haven’t availed his services, and neither do I personally know anybody who has, but Dr. Shyam Bhat of the Mind-Body clinic seems to be good. He has a late night show on Radio Indigo where he counsels random people who call in, and what he says seems mostly sensible and non-patriarchal.

      Just Google for “Shyam Bhat Mind-Body Clinic” and you will get his website.

      Like

  17. Pingback: Sunday Brunch #7 | Serenely Rapt

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