Indian Shaadi Logic – by Prateek Shah

So what does marriage mean to many Indians?

Indian Shaadi Logic by Prateek Shah

1. You are getting old. You should get married.
2. You are going bald/ growing fat/ becoming ugly. You should get married.
3. All your friends are married. You should get married.
4. You are getting bored. You should get married.
5. School done. College done. Job done. What else is to be done? You should get married.
6. Late marriage means late kids. You should get married.
7. But how will younger siblings get married? You should get married. [link]
8. Sharma Uncle, Verma Aunty and all other relatives keep asking all kinds of questions. You should get married.
9. Its our duty and responsibility. You should get married.
10. Its Great Great Grandparents last wish. You should get married.

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59 thoughts on “Indian Shaadi Logic – by Prateek Shah

  1. Agreed! For some people marriage is the solution for everything, and they are pretty sure when it comes to advising others.

    I am going thru same phase and situation. But in my case instead of family its co-workers and collegues. Everyone else in my team are married and for them solution to all my problem is marriage.

    And its not just advise for problem, in every situation advise is to get married. “Bought home – get married”, “Got promotion-get married”, and so on….

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  2. I will add some more🙂

    1. There is a biological clock ticking inside you. Can’t you hear it?
    2. You have to look pretty in wedding pictures. Who wants to look at an album with 30 year olds?
    3.Your ex is married. Why can’t you too?

    I loved Prateek’s post!

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  3. I would like to add –
    #. I would like to see and play with my granchildren before breathing my last.You should get married.

    Please note the plural grandchildren,and not a singular grandchild.

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  4. heights are when you are told to get married asap b’coz your younger siblings are getting older too and unless n until you won’t take the step ahead..they also cannot get married..😦😦

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  5. A flimsy set of social norms are dictating to you and me, without any regard for our feelings, that you need to get married in order to preserve your status as a respectable human being amongst our peers. Hence, you need to get married.

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    • “What?! You have a boyfriend / girlfriend! What are you waiting for then? Get married right away!!!!! What do you mean you are not sure yet? Why are you dating then?”

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  6. 1 more to the list – Trust us, you are leading a hollow life and dont know what you are missing (Really?). Your life is incomplete till you get married and have kids

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  8. While this is funny, I can sort of understand why this is so

    In India pre marital affairs are not accepted. Dating, relations ,live in are not acceptable in different ways. There is no socially accepted way of having a sexual relation without marriage.

    In west premarital relations have complete acceptance and are even encouraged by parents. Imagine if today suddenly it was declared that one can’t have sexual relations without marriage. The marriage age will decrease sharply in all the western countriez

    One more thing , if somebody is having long term relation sexual relation with someone, which sometimes include live in relation, how is that any different from marriage?? Just because you don’t sign a paper , the relation is not different. If you count these relations as marriage, you will find that west has all the reasons posted above and their marriage age might be less than india

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  9. Firstly, I find it interesting that you say premarital “affairs” when you speak of it in an Indian sense but call it premarital “relations” when talking about the Western world. In my eyes, the word “affair” has a negative and seedy connotation whereas “relation” conjures up an image of love, respect and caring. Like you said, this confirms how dating is seen as unacceptable and dirty in most of Indian society. Secondly, living with someone is definitely not the same as marriage. Living with someone is not simply about sexual relations and in turn, marriage is not just about living with someone. They are both milestones of commitment, that people in the West typically choose to do when they feel ready to do so, in that order. Living in Britain, if someone chooses not to move in with or marry their partner, it doesn’t result in a big social outcry or stigma. This will not usually affect the personal lives of their younger siblings, random relative won’t keep pressuring their parents to try and get them a BF/GF and no one will tell them to do it because they’re bored/have completed their education.

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    • Ok i will clarify. I am not saying live in is equal to marriage. What i am saying is west allows you a multitude of choices from dating to live in without getting married. But in india you are either single or married. Looked from this point of view, west only delays legal marriage – – not personal marriage in term of relation between two people.

      Among the list mentioned above i think points 7/9/10 dont apply in west. But if you are telling me there is no pressure in west i will totally disagree with you. In west its not parents but peer pressure is undeniably there. If you dont have gf/bf for long time you will surely get the heat

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  10. Prateek,
    That was entertaining ! But also true.

    For me, way back in 1973-75, it was the astrological clock that was ticking!

    An astrologer had convinced my mom that per my horoscope, if I didn’t get married before a certain date, there was no mohoortham for the next nineteen years! She panicked and and the pressure to marry started.

    Another reason, in my case was that my elder brother had done the unthinkable during those days. He had rebelled and, without waiting for my parents to arrange his marriage, had chosen his own mate. Family elders kept warning my parents, that if they don’t act fast, I too will be lost to the family and some smart girl will ensnare me in a love marriage trap.

    A North Indian friend of mine living away from home probably had to marry early for another bizarre reason! His mom told me quite matter of factly :कोई अच्छी लड़की हो तो बताओ। कब तक बेचारा होटल का खाना खाता रहेगा? कितना दुबला हो गया है!

    Regards
    GV

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    • For the benefit of Non-Indian/foreign readers, or readers who don’t know Hindi, the quote in Hindi when translated will read “Tell me if you know of a good girl (for him). How long will the poor fellow continue to eat in hotels? See how thin he has become!”

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      • That was hilarious. Another qualification, girl should be “padhi likhi” but with no career aspirations. In a girl-viewing ceremony often the first question a girl is asked” do you know to cook?”.

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    • Haha, that indeed is interesting sir! And trust me, there are a lot many people who’d still say the same things to their kids – “moohoortham” and “you should have somebody take care of us and cook for us”.

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      • Prateek. You are quite good-looking and appear to be doing well. You also seem to have spare time for bride-seeing since you comment on blogs. What more do you want? Get married!🙂

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        • Hahaha😀 This is an old pic of mine, have been balding a bit now (that you see lowers your chances of getting married :D)😀 Also haven’t found anybody crazy enough as me😀 Once i find her, will ‘settle down’😀

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    • “कोई अच्छी लड़की हो तो बताओ। कब तक बेचारा होटल का खाना खाता रहेगा? कितना दुबला हो गया है!” – This happens till today. I am single, staying with parents since last 10 years due to job. When I don’t like canteen food, immediate response from colleagues is get married…..than you will get dabba.

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        • @Krith….That’s not my logic….that’s the advice I keep getting from my colleagues. And I want wife not dubbawali……for dubba i can hire maid.

          But by the way if your hubby cooks dinner and prepares dubba for you, you are really lucky……I have friends who helps their wife in cooking and friends whose husbands helps them in cooking…..but haven’t met anyone who makes dinner and dubba for their wife…….it’s really nice to hear….

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  13. ha ha this is hilarious. Good ones there, Prateek. Add these: “(usually said with a tone of irritability) “you are becoming unreasonable these days. Get married. Your husband/wife will tame you”. And the most often said “jis umar mein jo hona chaahiye woh ho jaana chaahiye. tabhi insaan sukoon se reh sakta hain. Abhi shaadi vyaah karne ka umar hain, kar lo”. Trying to translate this into English. Anyone?

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