Sharing an email.
To begin my story, I am 26 year old working in an IT company for past 2 years. Living independently for past 8 years that includes my education and work experience.
Now I have reached 26 and my parents are looking for guy for arranged marriage and have started pressurizing me. Me and my BF’s are of same age. But my BF is youngest in family. He has an elder sister and brother who are still unmarried. They are 3 years older to him.
We are now utterly confused what to do and how to take things forward with family.
If he talks with his family the emotional drama that you have unmarried sister how you can think of your marriage, you care about that girl etc etc will start.
If I talk with my family they will start this right age of marriage, think about your younger sister, how you can marry in different caste etc.
Everything will turn up into mess without any result in our favor. This way is not giving a positive vibes to me for our relationship. It will create only tension and increased pressure on both of us to break this relationship.
I am very depressed these days. Why there is such strict hierarchy of marriage? May be his brother thinks of higher education and didn’t get married then what will happen to our marriage.
If my BF pressurizes his brother to get married then what about his higher education in case it takes time in marriage of his sister and brother. What about my sister in case if I wait for my BF for 2-3 years, then her marriageable age and time will come in way.
Why I have to marry within a 1-2 years so that my sister gets married on time? Why in our society, we (we included everyone) have to scarifies our happiness, our aspiration, our dreams and love for our dear ones? Why to scarify for maintaining marriage hierarchy. If I refuse to do so and take tough stand then I will be termed as selfish, mean, troublemaker, black sheep, self-centered etc etc by everyone (includes parents, extended family, friends and faceless society).
Why we can not marry when we feel that we should marry for love and partnership in life. Why there is such a strict rule for marriage among siblings. Why we are labeled as traitor if we stand for ourselves. Why our society is like this
I am very sad and depressed. What should I do in this situation? We want to take our relationship forward but don’t know what should be our next step.