On what seems to be just another ordinary day, a man is exposed to sexism…

What does sexual harassment and gender discrimination feel like? Do take a look at this video shared by Aturma and aarti.

“On what seems to be just another ordinary day, a man is exposed to sexism and sexual violence in a society ruled by women… ”

52 thoughts on “On what seems to be just another ordinary day, a man is exposed to sexism…

  1. Hey. You need to say it’s NSFW.

    I don’t personally think there was anything NSFW, but topless women is probably considered NSFW. I don’t get to define what’s NSFW. Those who pay me do.

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      • Oh! Never mind.
        I “wikied” it and found out what it means.
        I learned something new today.
        Regards
        GV

        Source: Wikipedia.

        Not suitable/safe for work (NSFW) is Internet slang or shorthand. Typically, the NSFW tag is used in e-mail, videos, and on interactive discussion areas (such as Internet forums, blogs, or community websites) to mark URLs or hyperlinks which contain material such as nudity, violence, pornography or profanity, which the viewer may not want to be seen accessing in a public or formal setting such as at work.

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        • It is my humble request to IHM that she put the NSFW tag in future. Of course, it’s her blog and her prerogative. This is just a request. Yesterday I read this at work and had to hurriedly close the window. Imagine my manager walking into my cubicle just as a topless woman heckles a guy pushing a pram. Taken out of context, that is not the sort of video you expect someone watching at work.

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    • Sundar, don’t complain, enjoy a break at work man🙂 Take it easy, nobody is going to do anything to you and you can justify your causes if you’re caught.

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      • Ah you’re right man. Who am I kidding? No body cares what I do at work. Maybe I should get a new job. Or hey, maybe that’s the reason I should stay.

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      • Great Question prav! I think your question captures the essence of this video! We are all used to seeing topless men in public, and the women adjusting their clothes to ensure that cleavage doesn’t show in public. I never even realized I did this and thought it was normal/okay till I saw this video.

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  2. Just saw the video.
    I understand the intent behind this.
    It is to make a point.
    But to whom?
    We, the educated elite can appreciate this but we don’t need to be explained in this manner.
    The uncouth, boorish, loutish, scum that infest our metropolitan cities particularly Delhi and NCR region are the ones who must be taught and made to correct their ways.
    But frankly, if you show this video to them, far from getting the message, they may actually be turned on! This message is just too sophisticated for these lumpen elements.
    Just my two cents.
    Regards
    GV

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    • GVji, I find that there is a large percentage of “educated” people engaging in the boorish behaviors described in this video. They somehow can’t even understand how rude it is to obviously stare at a woman or catcall. I’ve seen everyone from middle school boys to college boys to young professionals to men the age of my father engaging in this behavior. There seems to be no limit.

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      • ^ I have to second Krith here. Most of the street harassment I’ve faced don’t come from the uneducated construction men at the bus stop (who happen to be some of the nicest people I’ve met actually), but from the rather privileged, seemingly well-educated morons who roam around in packs and create a ruckus wherever they go. You know the type. The ones who pretend to be “tough”, but can’t speak two words to a woman if they were ever separated from their “bros”. And some of the worst sexism I’ve faced come from people who have a good education, who you think would know better, but don’t. It’s sad how pervasive such entitled behaviour is in a lot of men.

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      • Krith and A,
        I agree, education and age does not completely eliminate this kind of behaviour among men
        We have examples in Tarun Tejpal, Justice Ganguly, Strauss Kahn, Clinton, Berlusconi and a host of others! Age did not mellow them, Rather, their power and influence that they wielded acted as spurs.

        Conversely, honorouble treatment of women is often observed in people without much formal education.
        So I guess you have a point there.
        However, this video will make no difference to the boorish and sexual chauvinists among men, educated or otherwise.
        They are more likely to be tickled pink, by this video.
        It has some “shock” value, for those of us who can be shocked.
        The Delhi bus gang rapers can’t be reformed by videos like this.
        Regards
        GV

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        • Mr. GV,

          If this video is being made by people like this, it means that sexism is not just a problem of rural India.
          Sexism has always been a problem in educated, “sophisticated” society as well as the more rough rural types.

          If you check out the site “http://everydaysexism.com/ you will understand that this is a more widespread problem than what we face in India.

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  3. I can’t wait to live in a feminist society, I will be happy to become a SAHD. And it would be great if women liked my butt and hairy legs. But I doubt that’s gonna happen, I’m sure that a society ruled by women would not have any sexism. It would be a just society, its time for men to step aside completely and let women take the wheel.

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    • I’m not sure a society ruled by women would not have any sexism. Women are human beings too and if you bring them up with the attitude that they can do anything to the other gender and get away with it, some women would misuse it too, just the way some men misuse that societal sanction they are given today.

      I don’t think men should step aside completely and let women take the wheel. The point is everyone should have the same opportunity to step up and take the wheel, regardless of whether they are men or women.

      Ultimately feminism is about equality. Not about women taking up superior positions by default. That would only create the same society we have now, albeit with genders reversed.

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      • The point of the video was not to have one sex rule over the other. The point is to show us how ridiculous the day to day unspoken expectations for women are by creating a fictional situation where men go through it instead of women.

        We tend to just accept some long standing norms for women as something “normal”. Videos like this make u sit up and rethink.

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    • Huh? A society ruled by any one group will most certainly evolve to become something unfair. It needs to be democratic and everybody needs to contribute in equal parts

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    • Why , why do you think a society ruled by women would be any better? Until you believe women are inherently better than men.

      Women might not practice sexism. But do they not practice racism? Or casteism? Regionalism ? Any other form of discrimination?? Is exploitation of poor and weak people done only by men and not women?

      Its ridiculous to believe that women don’t practice discrimination. They might not practice sexism but nobody is beyond reproach

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      • @anonymous:

        A society ruled by women is NOT better. The intent of the video is to make men acutely understand the kind of problems which women face in a patriarchy. I think the video implies that any kind of ‘-archy’ where one section dominates/’rules’ the other is not good and the best approach is ‘equal rights for all’.

        I have always believed that feminism is about equality and on this principle, feminists should not entertain any kind of sectional discrimination: including ragging, racism, casteism, religionalism and cronyism. Feminism is not about ‘men Vs. women’: It is about patriarchy & misogyny Vs. equality & justice. Some women are misogynists and there are men who believe in equality, making them ‘feminists’.

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    • Daniel,
      A society “ruled” by one gender or the other will have sexism. I have no lofty ideas of how women are saints. We are fallible too. This is why we need a balanced society where everybody can be respected for whatever they want to do with their lives, including your desire to be a SAHD without drawing judgement from anybody.

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      • yes, but we don’t agree this when making laws in favor of us assuming all women as saints. Only we provide lip service when it not harming our priviliaged interests.

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      • “A society “ruled” by one gender or the other will have sexism. I have no lofty ideas of how women are saints.”
        Their will always be a few bad individuals, i have seen witnessed gender discrimination by a women teacher in my school days back in the 90s . She used to treat boys so badly, it had left a permanent imprint in my memory. But I don’t let it affect my perspective on women, I believe women are better suited when it comes to decision making and leadership. Their are several studies that corroborate this, so if i get a chance to restructure society I would place women at administrative posts i.e law and politics. I know this ruffles the ego of some individuals, but i don’t care; because throughout the history of male dominated rule our society has shown a severe lack of empathy and compassion towards human beings. I think women can bring some great positive changes in the society, all they require is a little bit of appreciation and motivation from the opposite gender to awaken the leader in them.

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        • Believe me, I am flattered🙂 After generations of being told that we women are weak and emotional, it’s refreshing to see a man focus on the strengths. I still do stand by my point that we need better balance. Both men and women have so much to bring to the table.

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    • Daniel, glad you’re on board with feminism – however, I’m sure most women here would agree that we don’t want a society ruled by women. We want an equal society in which no one group “rules” another (men vs women, whites vs blacks, straight vs gay and so on), and no one’s behaviour or what is expected of them is dictated by the gender they happen to be born. I think this video highlights just how disturbingly misogyny is often ingrained in our society, and when the tables are turned, it is then that we are able to appreciate this.
      PS – if you want to be a SAHD, do it now! By defying gender constraints and simply doing what you and your wife are comfortable with and regarding each other as equal, you are already doing your part for a feminist society🙂

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    • Here’s the thing – Feminism is not about creating a “feminist society” as shown. We DON’T want a role reversal in the current society. We DON’T want to set up a society “ruled by women”. We DON’T want all the responsibility – only an equal share.

      It’s about egalitarianism, not absolute power.

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    • @Daniel

      Do you really want to live in a society where your hairy legs and butt take precedence over your professional qualifications? Where you do the same job and get paid less. Where you don’t have an option to “take the wheel” even if your life is about to crash and burn. Where if you are a SAHD you are looked down for “sitting at home all day” and if you are a working dad, then it means you dont care enough. Be my guest.

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  4. I am trying to understand the video , but I dont get it. Its trying to show men how they will feel in a female dominated world so they can understand how women feel today

    But to me it just showed that if the world was female dominated , men would be getting assaulted. That its the natural order of things for one sex to dominate the other. Either you are lucky or unlucky , women are no better than man and if they could, they would do the same things men do today.

    May be I will watch the video again and I might get different perspective. But as of now this is all I get from the video

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    • It is a male dominated society today and all the things shown here are, indeed, happening undoubtedly to women everyday, all the time. You are right that this video gives a perspective for a man to see how difficult it is to be an oppressed breed if it is a female dominated society.

      The underlying message is – One sex dominating the other is wrong. Equality of sexes in all respects is the need of the day. That is the natural order to be strived for.

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    • Feminist do not want the world to be female dominated, as explained by Garima and Thumbelina. The video’s primary intent is to make men understand what women go through in a patriarchal society by portraying men’s situation in a hypothetical matriarchal society. There is no “natural order” for any domination and there’s no necessity for any kind of domination by any group over the other.

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    • @anonymous
      Everything you said is correct up to the point where you said “……for one sex to dominate the other”.
      At this point, one thought should have come to the mind, and it is this – “So, it is WRONG to dominate.Equality is so much more better”.
      And THAT is the whole point of this video.
      Why is it so so so hard to get? Why?

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      • I didn’t said it was OK for one sex to dominate. I said the video portrays it that way.

        You say equality is so much better.but that is your viewpoint. Many men truly do not believe that women are equal to them. They really believe that men are superior and its a natural way for them to dominate women. It doesn’t matter whether there is a natural order for domination; it only matters.if somebody believes so and act on it.

        One day go out and start asking random guys whether they believe women are equal to men. And if they say yes, ask them whether they are willing to live this equality. You will be surprised ,may be not, how many will fail this.

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  5. Gosh !! Its pretty disturbing…But I m not sure if men will actually get the message…maybe a small percentage who are educated n understand the intent behind it.But for majority it will just provide some cheap thrills.

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  6. While I found the video very disturbing and powerful, I can’t agree with it claiming to portray a feminist society. The man tells the woman he is sick of living in a feminist society, and this one phrase spoiled a lot for me. What the video portrays is a “matriarchal” society, which took over all the bad stuff from patriarchism and just switched the genders. Feminism, on the other hand, stands for equal rights and equal chances. So people who don’t care much about such details will leave the movie with this image: feminism will turn men into slaves and victims. This, I think, is a great disservice to feminism.

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    • i think the usage of feminist was just an accidental choice of words used there or possibly a mistranslation in the subtitles… it’s simply a potrayal of discrimination meted out by women instead of men… the point of the video is the same point that you are making… namely that everyone should have equal rights regardless of superficial distinctions like gender, sexual orientation, ir/religious beliefs,race, etc.

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      • I agree….the guy’s wife too uses the word ‘masculinist’ instead of ‘patriarchal’. So I don’t think the writer/translator was mindful of the different connotations of the words feminist/matriarchal. He just wanted a word each to describe a pro-women and pro-men society, and settled for ‘feminist’ and ‘masculinist’ respectively.

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  7. I saw this shared by a bunch of friends on FB. While it may sort of make an impact in the Western world, I think India still has a looooooooong way to go before the majority of the population can even digest what’s being shown here, let alone understand it.

    It may make a difference in the group that my husband belongs to–but even then, the most sexist of the lot wouldn’t get what’s wrong with the picture to begin with. It’s a different culture out here–we need different messages (perhaps ones from the 60s and the 70s in the US/North America/Western Europe).

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  8. This video – which is awesome in many ways – doesn’t show how society would be if it would be dominated by women. It shows how it is today – in a male dominated society – with gender reverse! Aggression against women, treating them as second class citizens, inequality is not just a problem in India. It is a world wide problem. Women are under represented in all societies and successful women are portrayed as masculine power hungry “bitches”. There is still no equal pay for equal work. Our employability – our place in the job market is dictated by our age. Too young and you’re a liability since you can just go off and give birth – then care for said children, caring responsibilities are seldom shared as the man is still seen as the main breadwinner. When growing older it’s becoming even harder to find a job as you – assumed – don’t have the same level if experience as your male counterparts. While western women seem to be oh so liberated the same prejudices are still in place! You got raped? You must have been – asking for it by dressing the wrong way, by drinking, by simply just being in the wrong place and stop making such a fuss about it – shrug if off and move on because hey deep down you must have enjoyed it. The most interesting part for me in the video was when the house husband was trying to tell the other one running the nursery – wearing a full head to toe cover – how he is dominated and should free himself.

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    • Perhaps the answers lie in allowing natural selection and reproductive choice dictate family size.

      I am childless so perhaps my perspective isn’t very natural but to be very honest I have never understand why women choose to give birth in societies that penalise motherhood so heavily.

      I am not talking about severely patriarchal societies like India or Afghanistan where women have zero reproductive freedom.

      I’m talking about the US where women’s vote and women’s voices can have a real impact on public policy.
      It’s sad that women in the US cannot use their collective bargaining power in favour of subsidised childcare and making daycare universally affordable.

      Indian women don’t have that luxury because our policy-making is not women-friendly but why is American public policy so blind to women’s concerns?

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      • Look at Japan and how birth rates have fallen as discrimination against women are continued.

        Even women who have this choice may not do so. Many reasons for this. They might want kids themselves. Their partner might want kids and they might have have it for their partner.

        Further an one on one relation is very different from social relation. Your partner might be the nicest guy out there and treat you equally. You cant say to him That I am not going to have kids with you because guess what , my boss gave that promotion to the other guy!! Its impossible to do that.Families don’t work on society rules

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        • Look around you. Even in patriarchal India, women are choosing to have fewer children, later in life.

          The average age of marriage for women is increasing with every generation.

          Social change happens slowly, imperceptibly but it is irreversible once it happens.

          Middle and upper class Indian have more freedom and more choices than ever before. Why do you think every generation of women in India is more educated than the previous one?

          Slowly but steadily women are choosing education and employment over early marriage and large families.

          That’s women acting in their own self-interest. You can deny this as much as you like

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  9. i agree with all who pointed out the Feminism does not mean an exchange of privileges between men and women.
    It stands first and foremost for true equality.
    But this is not easily appreciated by many men.
    When I once discussed and argued this issue with a typical male chauvinist, he told me
    in his desi style: औरतों को ज्यादा लिफ़्ट मत दो! सर पर चढ़कर बैठ जाएंगी!

    Regards
    GV

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  10. When i first saw this video through the everyday sexism project, i posted it on FB.
    I had women liking it, sharing it, commenting etc.
    But only 3 men actually responded in a similar fashion.
    Telling, isn’t it?

    Like

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