What do you understand by ‘unconditional love’?

Before sharing an email from Distressed, I would like to ask: What do you understand by ‘unconditional love‘?

What do you think of relationships where the partners are ‘completely emotionally dependent’ on each other (Or at least one of them is) – despite their ‘terrible fights‘? Or maybe the ‘terrible fights’ are caused by the complete dependence and insecurity?

What do you think of relationships where partners are ‘privy to all’? (Or atleast one of the partners is). Does ‘true love’ require sharing of passwords, details of past relationships (if any) and innermost thoughts?

So then what is ‘true love’? Does it mean ‘giving love’ without expectation or hope, for marriage, commitment, reciprocation, sacrifice or happiness?

How do ‘unconditional love’ or ‘true love’ affect relationships?

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55 thoughts on “What do you understand by ‘unconditional love’?

  1. So then what is ‘true love’? Does it mean ‘giving love’ without expectation or hope, for marriage, commitment, reciprocation, sacrifice or happiness?
    If one loves then one should not put condition for marriage because marriage is not love but a system . marriage can surely follow if both are committed to be with each other accepting that marriage in context of indian society is nothing but commitment to stay together for the sake of society .

    true love happens only when we have the power to love someone irrespective of the fact whether he or she loves us or not .

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  2. Quoting something from Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho, “No one owns anything. Anyone who has lost something they thought was theirs forever finally comes to realize that nothing really belongs to them.” & “Love is not to be found in someone else but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person.”

    Unconditional Love or True love is when both people realize that they don’t possess each other, that each of them is free to do what they want to do they feel is best for themselves which would ultimately be the best for both of them. This can happen when both people in question discuss these matters openly & with an open mind.
    You don’t “Give” or “Receive” love but rather just feel it for each other.
    When you are emotionally dependent on another person, you become insecure because you seek approval & you fear that if this person leaves you then you will never be able to feel again.
    These insecurities then make you start to Love out of Fear & negative emotions such as Jealousy & Possessiveness come into the picture which leads to “Terrible” fights.

    When you truly love someone, you love without expecting anything. Those things just fall into place. When two people truly love each other they want their partners to become the best possible versions of themselves.

    I had written something about this sometime back, read here :- http://apragmaticdreamer.wordpress.com/2014/01/09/are-you-in-love-with-love/

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    • I forgot to mention that true love doesn’t expect you to share information like passwords or the past but when you love someone you would be vulnerable with them. Which means, you would share your thoughts & dreams with that person which the other person would listen to without judging you. You aren’t expected to do so but being vulnerable means it shows that your heart is open to them & that you trust them.

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  3. Everything about the relationship you’ve described here is the exact opposite of what I would define as unconditional love.

    Unconditional love is rooted in trust. That’s the long and short end of it. Unconditional love does not need “proof” in the form of constant surveillance of someone else. Unconditional love only exist when both partners recognize each other’s fundamental need to be able to function on their own, as well as with each other. Unconditional love is knowing that being with someone shouldn’t rely on the subtraction of one’s character, but exponential growth of both of theirs.

    If you or your partner (or both), are so completely emotionally dependent on each other, that is a sign of much bigger individual problems. Such people need to work through these issues individually. People have got to understand that you can’t use another human being as a band aid or a fix-it for whatever individual emotional problems you have. Such codependency is abjectly unhealthy, and it is not unconditional love at all. It’s not even remotely romantic.

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  4. IHM, I’ve had numerous conversations with friends about email passwords and whether one should share it with one’s loved one or not. All my friends believe that true love is sharing everything including passwords. I disagree. I believe in the concept of personal space. My husband and I have agreed not to share email passwords because some things should remain just ours. It isn’t a question of hiding things from each other. To me, unconditional love is based on trust. I trust him, he trusts me. We share so many other things the most important being our daughter.

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    • Agree.

      I have a password that I share with my wife and family (daughter and son) and for a good reason. I want them to be able to access this email account in case of need. It is useful sometimes. They don’t peek unless it is necessary for some reason, and they always tell me about it.

      I have other passwords which are mine and mine alone and I don’t share them even with my wife of 39 years. Likewise I know one of my wife’s passwords which I use to access her email account when necessary. I don’t know if she has other passwords to other email accounts. I haven’t asked and I don’t want to know.

      Some things should remain private even from one’s nearest and dearest just like one’s inner most thoughts inner feelings.

      One should have the privilege of choosing what thoughts and feelings one would like to share and with whom. Imagine how horrible it would be if our heads were made of “transparent” glass and every one could read what thoughts we have running inside!

      In unconditional love, the insistence on always knowing at all times what the other thinks must not be a condition.
      Regards
      GV

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  5. I also agree that true love should be without any expectation from both sides. But in today’s world, it holds good for any relationship that it has to be shown and consistently worked upon. Unspoken words do not work out as the need to speak and express seem to strengthen relationship.
    But in the pursuit of building greater marital bonds, sometimes, it seem to be more of a ‘show’ of affection and a ritual of ‘gift-giving’, than true love. This puts greater pressure on the person who is unable to fulfill the wish of the other partner. For eg. when a woman expects some gadget as a gift from her husband, just because her cousin has got a similar one from her husband is just to show-off. Viceversa also happens, wherein the husband may expect a blazer or watch. Unasked for favours or surprise gestures do strengthen the bonds. Making it simple, has more sweetness than elaborate rituals or expensive parties.
    The only difference between a man-woman relationship and the other blood relationship is that, if you cannot get along with the partner, you can divorce him/her. But in blood related ones, we can disown the person, but I do not know, if there is any legal procedure which makes us cut off the relationship with that person.
    For the question if they need to be emotionally dependent..I feel that need for emotional warmth of the other person in times of trouble is very essential, but when it seeps into as extreme dependency to the extent of consuming the other person’s space and produces a lot of negative energy in their relationship, then it is time to distance themselves from that person. It should be done not to leave them in lurch, but for themselves to gain a better perspective, as we gain better perspective only if you see the scenario from a little distance and not keep it close to your eyes.
    A friend of mine once told me, when a person has got stuck in the quicksand, we help them by standing outside it and not getting inside it. If we get inside then we will also get sucked in soon!

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  6. “What do you think of relationships where the partners are ‘completely emotionally dependent’ on each other (Or at least one of them is) – despite their ‘terrible fights‘? Or maybe the ‘terrible fights’ are caused by the complete dependence and insecurity?”

    I think of those relationships as being extremely unhealthy. Add terrible fights to the mix, and I’d say it’s a disaster altogether. The fights could be caused by insecurity and they could also be caused by a lack of compromise–so it would depend on what these fights are about. But in these ‘completely emotionally dependent’ relationships, from what I’ve seen in my 29 years of existence, I’d say it’s both.

    “Does ‘true love’ require sharing of passwords, details of past relationships (if any) and innermost thoughts?”

    No, ‘true love’ (that concept is quite problematic in and of itself) doesn’t require sharing said info.

    That said, my husband and I shared pretty much all of these (and bank cards/passwords) within a year of going out because we were comfortable doing so. And I don’t think of him as my ‘true love’ or ‘insert other cliche here’–we’re two people who’re extremely compatible and we met at the right place/at the right time.

    “Does it mean ‘giving love’ without expectation or hope, for marriage, commitment, reciprocation, sacrifice or happiness?”

    Nope. That’s an abusive relationship right there.

    “How do ‘unconditional love’ or ‘true love’ affect relationships?”

    I think concepts like these, especially in a country like India where dating/relationships is a relatively new concept for the masses, are very dangerous. Add the stigma of women getting labeled as ‘loose’ and worse for breaking up with men or having multiple relationships, then it gets even more dangerous.

    Both women and men should realize that they need to put up personal boundaries for their relationships whether it’s with their parents/extended family/significant others/ siblings etc. This whole ‘unconditional love’ nonsense seems to be the basis of many emotional blackmail scenarios between abusive spouses and abusive parents.

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    • Exactly!! One true love is a problematic concept. Even in romantic stories, it is commonly seen with unhealthy emotional dependence ( twilight, 50 shades, and innumerable M&Bs). In fact, I learned about unhealthy relationships mainly from reading critiques of Twilight, which happily, the internet is full of.

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      • I read the first Twilight book on a Vancouver-:>Toronto flight. Fellow passengers must have thought I was insane because I kept saying ‘this is unbelievable’ throughout the book. That’s a very unhealthy (and very boring) relationship.

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        • Thank God I’m not the only one who thinks this clingy, obsessive, codependent relationship between a stalker and a “purely good and selfless” girl is unhealthy!

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      • Thinking along the same lines. Though I do call my husband as ‘the love of my life’, in my definition love is not any means unconditional and does not come with the cost of sacrificing self-worth.

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  7. True and unconditional love can only be found in folk lores, fairy tales and Shakespearean sonnets. I guess the word ‘unconditional’ itself defines it as antonym of love.

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  8. For me unconditional love is what I feel for my son. Right now he is only 2 years old so although he clearly depends on me, I do not depend on him to love me back. As he grows and becomes and adult, I will still love him unconditionally without expecting to know his passwords or control his life no matter what choices he makes. The love I feel for my husband is true but cannot be unconditional. We are both separate entities and if he is unfaithful or abusive I will stop loving him sooner or later.

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  9. I actually wonder if romeo juliet..laila majnu…shirin farhad were born in this age…would they have same amount of devotion??
    would they share their passwords ??
    Definition and expectation of love keeps changing in different ages…Taj Mahal the epitome of love by Shahjahan….well, mumtaz was not his only wife…he had others as well, besides hoard of concubines…
    Yet he mumtaz and Shahjahan’s love is legendry…was mumtaz comfortable in sharing him with many woman?
    In tht age tht was the norm….Man was a master with an army of woman vying to be his favourite slave…tht was acceptable definition of love.

    As per the current age I would say..If two people hav mutual love, trust, respect and commitment to stay together its true love….both person should feel happy in that relationship.
    The terms and conditions of the relationship is again subjective….as long as its not a master slave relationship marred with jealousy and possessiveness.

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  10. There is no such thing as unconditional love. No human being with a sense of self will love another unconditionally. There are ALWAYS conditions, whether you are a parent or child or lover or wife or husband.

    If your grows up to be something you can’t accept, your feelings for that child will change. You may still have residual feelings for who the child USED to be, but the person he/she is NOW is not someone you can relate to. *shrug*
    You may be adult enough to accept, adult enough to learn to love this new person, but again… it’s all conditional. Involves a lot of give a take, a lot of work.

    Similarly with couples… you may have fallen in love with your idea of someone, or you may have fallen in love with who the person was when you first met her/him, but people grow, they change, YOU change… and if you don’t change in the same direction, conflicts will happen. Sometimes, to the point that the two people cannot be happily together anymore.

    This obviously does not mean people don’t fall in love and stay that way throughout their lives or that they become estranged from their parents, but all of this is conditional.

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  11. I think unconditional love is what i have for myself🙂 next come my spouse and kids. then my parents. it’s mostly a combination of trust, joy, companionship, friendship and happiness.
    I dont think it can be defined but apart from myself i dont think i can unconditionally love anyone, it changes based on circumstances.
    e,g if my husband cheats someone or me i dont think i can unconditionally love him, likewise I love my kids but if one of them hurts someone then the love i have for them dims in my eyes.
    At least this is what i feel.

    We share finances but not passwords. not because i wont share but because he never asked me and i dont really care to read his stuff either. so i guess love is trust🙂

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  12. when a women want it .. ” it’s eternal and most common want of woman”. When a man want it.. ” it’s disgusting, male chauvinism, his patriarchal mindset, closed minded, posessive”.

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    • Please speak for yourself and don’t pretend to know what all women or all men want. I’m a woman too and don’t feel represented by your gender-specific distinction. What I want from my partner is understanding, respect and love. What he wants from me is understanding, respect and love. If you don’t bother to look at individuals rather than at clichès, no skin off my nose.😛

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  13. “You’ll not wear T-shirts again because I dont like others staring at you. Its true love. And if you too love me unconditionally you will do what I say.”
    “Oh he knows all my passwords because I trust him and love him.”
    “He calls me every hour to make sure that I am well and safe. Ah love!”

    These are some common headcases I know. Unconditional love DUHUH!!!

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  14. Unconditional love is the love that only a dog is capable of feeling.
    I personally believe that human beings expecting to be loved unconditionally / assuming that they have the capability to do so – are just deluding themselves.

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  15. when I was 10 , true love meant holding hands and sharing tiffins
    at 14 , it was blushing and gifting chocolates , yes even holding hands
    at 18 , it was that chill down the spine when we kissed
    at 21 , it was waiting for days to meet and spend half of meeting time planning next meeting, to talk about dreams and fears and aspirations. It was also about crazy sex
    at 25 , it was about about being in awe of the person , who was seen as more experienced intelligent , mature and polished.
    at 28 , it was about that feeling complete with someone , finding my world in a hug and smile in tears . It was about eating , drinking , sleeping together and not getting bored of each other.
    at 30 , it was about mental and emotional compatibility , a relation that made everything else i felt before feel less . it had craziness of first love with experience of ages blended so well.

    It was beautiful always, it was true always , it was different always !! Love is meant to be felt not defined . unconditional love ? what the heck is that🙂

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    • Sorry for the digression.
      Just wanted to share a joke which I had enjoyed.

      Mommy, I love you.
      =========================

      When a six year old boy says “Mommy, I love you”
      Mommy answers” Oh! Darling, i love you too”

      When a 14 year boy says “Mommy, I love you”
      Mommy answers “No more pocket money this week”

      When a 24 year old boy says “Mommy, I love you”
      Mommy answers “”कौन है वह? कहाँ रहती है, क्या करती है?”

      When a 32 year old boy says “Mommy, I love you”
      Mommy answers “बेटा मैंने पहले ही तुमसे कहा था उस चुडैल से शादी मत करना”

      When a 45 year old boy says “Mommy I love you”
      Mommy answers “मैं कोई पेपर-वेपर पर साइन नहीं करने वाली!”

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  16. Love without attachment, without strings. Love where you surrender your ego completely. Note, here ego is not self-respect. It is the ego of arrogance.

    Agree. The ‘terrible fights’ are caused by insecurity. ‘complete emotional dependence’ is another term for fear. You are afraid of accepting yourself and/or your partner the way they are.

    I don’t understand the concept of ‘true love’; it would imply that there is a ‘false love’. You experience love. Then it either endures and grows, or withers and wilts. It is rejected or accepted. There is no truth or lies in it. It is an experience. And it is for you to figure out how you want to experience it. If that experience for you includes marriage, commitment, sacrifice etc., then accept that. Accept also that this might not be the same way another person wants to experience love. It doesn’t mean their love is “false”; it just means that you both want to experience it differently.

    How do ‘unconditional love’ or ‘true love’ affect relationships?

    First, love yourself unconditionally and totally. Accept your mistakes, your personality, your needs. Don’t judge them as right, wrong. Don’t justify them. Accept them. When you have done this, then I think you could try to experience it in a relationship?

    I haven’t crossed the first bridge still so I have no idea how it might affect a relationship. I would assume that it would make your relationship a lot more pleasant and fulfilling.

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  17. I feel there is LOVE….But the moment you overthink it, analyze it, find words to describe it, make it an action etc…it becomes everything Love isn’t. So the moment you qualify it with “unconditional/true/pure/absolute” etc., it is no more Love, it is just a subject to be talked of, like science, math and history. We can have a discussion but LOVE would have left the building.

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  18. Ooops sorry I hit the send button instead of enter for next line.

    So for discussion sake, imho, unconditional love is an oxymoron…When I consider Love between two Adults, there is no love without a condition. The condition could be simple things like “I like him/her” to “they are my family,my husband, my children” or “that is what is excepted as an answer, that I love so and so in the grand scheme of things” or “we are compatible” or “he/she/it is beautiful” or “he/she shares the same values, hopes and dreams as I do therefore we can be happy together” or “the sex is great.” That said Unconditional Love in practicality exists only if both the people involved in the loving have the same rules for how they express their love. They both are able to give each other what the other wants and get what they want and hence its the best fit…therefore a sense of dissatisfaction isn’t there, making it unconditional. Conditions come in only when One party asks the other for something they want that the other is unwilling to give or in some form, cant have. That dissatisfaction depending on its intensity, forms a stratum for resentment to build over time. Love will disappear. Over time we learn to navigate each others boundaries of what is tolerable and what isn’t and we begin to accept and be there for the other…That feeling of Understanding, the Trust, that knowing that the other is going to be there no matter what builds the bonds of what we call LOVE. So it isn’t unconditional…the conditions are Trust, Understanding, Consideration, a sense of camaraderie, and an equal commitment from both sides to those conditions.

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  19. “UNCONDITIONAL LOVE” in a “husband and wife” relationship these days has , to an extent,become a myth. While talking about love in a relationship , it always has to be mutual. How much do you love and respect your partner ,how much do you want to be with your partner, how much are you ready to sacrifice for the other half ,all matters. That love , over a period of time , a long period of time ,that is , can get unconditional .

    Unconditional love has some conditions🙂 ..Irony! Maturity,sensibility,acceptance,tolerance,forgiving ability etc. are some of the qualities that really matter in how long the couple can go with their relationship. Longevity is a word I`d like to use. I`ve seen a few elderly couples(80 or more years old) shower so much love on eachother. It feels like its “unconditional love” , a love which is pure, serene, transparent, uncomplicated, simple ,quiet . They just like being in eachother`s company and expect nothing from eachother. They probably don`t even expect love from eachother , it just happens! Or atleast , that is how I felt. Nothing can beat experience. Love also evolves over a period of time!

    At that elderly age , one can argue that , there is nothing much for them to do, argue about ,or fight for, and that is why they are the way they are. True.Very true. How can couples in their 20`s,30`s or 40`s love unconditionally? is it possible?With everything on their plate, they have everything to spill. If you ask me , I really don`t know. Once again , I`d say , maturity,sensibility,responsibility,ability to accept, tolerate , to forgive, to be patient etc., will all come into the equation. Irrespective of age , people who have most of these qualities,and even better qualities, will have a very happy,strong,lengthy and a meaningful relationship ; They might eventually start loving eachother “unconditionally” !.. “UNCONDITIONAL LOVE” exists in my dictionary!

    “UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FEEDS AND GROWS IN LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS ”

    To the topic , whenever there is a conversation or a concern about “SHARING PASSOWRDS”(did u say passwords? jees) ,”PAST RELATIONSHIPS”,”INNERMOST THOUGHTS” ,or sharing whatever personal , LOVE doesn`t exist at all, it seriously doesn`t. If your spouse is asking as silly and trivial a thing as your password , he/she is trying to take control of you and your life, which is a very, very bad sign. “SHARING PASSWORDS IS A JOKE ,MY 10 YR OLD NIECE WOULDN`T SHARE HER`S WITH ME,GOOD FOR BOTH” ..What the heck!

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  20. Someone once told me (and I think I agree) that all relationships are like wheels with spokes. Every time someone has to compromise, one of the spokes gets broken. They feel just a little bit used in the relationship. The love dies a little. Eventually too many spokes are broken and one person feels he/she is consistently being taken advantage of. Then the relationship dies. The whole “Unconditional love” thing is a myth. Any person with respect and dignity can only take so much.

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  21. And if someone believes in unconditional love, then it’s them that should implement it in their lifestyle, rather than demanding it of others. The very act of demanding unconditional love seems that the demander doesn’t love the demandee unconditionally.

    Ooh. I just made up words. Demander and demandee. Hehe.

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  22. I think there are always conditions in love. What conditions we impose on love and relationships determines their health and well-being.
    I place the following ‘conditions’ on all my relationships (husband, children, friends, etc.) – honesty, commitment, support, trust, responsibility, compassion.

    I will not place conditions like “you must dress the way I like if you love me” or “you must be a certain way with my parents if you love me” or “give up eating certain foods if you love me” or “I must know every single thing you are doing every minute of the day because I love you”.

    The former set of conditions ensure the health and well-being of the relationship and the individuals involved. Love needs these conditions to grow and sustain itself.

    The latter set of conditions (often found in romantic novels and mis-guided relationships) are actually manifestations of insecurity, jealousy, anxiety, and a desire for control, parading under the name of ‘love’.

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    • Oh, absolutely agree. The latter is manipulation. It’s tantamount to saying that I’m using guilt to make you do something that you wouldn’t otherwise do, because if you don’t it implies that you don’t love me enough.

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  23. Unconditional love is probably what a little child shows towards its mother. Mother can scold, beat, sulk…that child comes back like nothing happened.It is the purest form of love from a heart that is still uncorrupted. As adults, we are all incapable of unconditional love. There is some level expectation even from our kids, our parents and siblings. Sense of self takes over and we do become incapable of giving or accepting love unconditionally.

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  24. Sharing Passwords, or for that matter anything that enables another person to have a hold on you is a matter of Trust and where you are in your life and why you want to share it… If anyone demands that you share your password, to me that would be a very good indication to NOT give it.

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  25. Pingback: “We have loved each other madly all these years and it pains me to see US like this.” | The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  26. As a 32 year old woman who has had her share of love and hate relationships I don’t know what unconditional love means. I like to think that I am fairly straightforward and have an uncomplicated relationship with the husband.

    We don’t share passwords, call each other a hundred times a day, share each and every thing about what we ate, who we spoke to, when did we go to the toilets etc. We both have our own lives and have a life together. He loves playing Sports and I hate it so on weekends when he goes to play I do my thing at home. He comes back a happy man and we share good conversations over dinner together.

    We do things as a couple as well but I don’t feel that being married or being in love means we need to spend every minute of every day together with each other. He isn’t my hobby or a full time job nor am I his and we are very clear about that. If this is unconditional love than maybe I feel it although I still cannot define is.

    But I see a lot of couples around me who are the exact opposite and think of us as strange and weird because we are not all the time in each others faces. I have been pulled up by friends who have told me that they do not understand “How can I let my husband go and play when I am at home” and that “You both don’t love each other enough because you don’t spend all your time together. that is just not love”. During my latest visit to India I was told by my in laws very publicly that “They don’t think we both love each other at all because we haven’t had children after so many years of marriage”. And it made me laugh as to the definitions people have for love and how love is categorized and one has to check all these boxes to show that they love.

    Maybe I am a weirdo but hey that’s me  So yeah the answer to your question IHM is I don’t know what unconditional love is. Although on the other hand maybe Unconditional love is the love I give to my favorite “Rajma chawal”. Sigh who knows.

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    • 100% agreement. You, Bella, are every man’s dream (and every rajma’s dream too). Especially the guys who are calling up / messaging their wives every hour and pretending that this is their idea of a good time😛

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    • Hey there lady! You never asked me before publishing my life story or secretly entering my brain and stealing my words😀 This world is full of opportunities to explore yourself. All of us get stuck in such a rut of maintaining a household and running to our jobs. If you get some alone time to introspect, pursue some hobbies and generally better yourself, why would someone not want that?

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  27. Unconditional love is RESPECT in every sense of the word. Respect of the other person, respect of the love that is given & taken, respect without conditions.

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  28. To me unconditional love is accepting another person as he/she is but “within reason”. I don’t expect to be loved unconditionally if I am going to be rude, irrational and unreasonable. I’d much rather be told honestly that even though I am being loved very much, there are some things about me which aren’t pleasant at all. I think to me it’s about being able to live with another person as comfortably as you would live alone, without the fear of being judged or feeling the pressure to be a certain way to retain the affection.

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  29. I don’t know what unconditional love is. When you’re in love you think it will last forever and it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world. While you’re in that state, I suppose things are pretty unconditional. But even then, if a woman were to turn to me and say, I feel nothing for you, I’d say, OK, let’s call this off NOW. I may continue to have feelings, but my conduct is certainly conditional.

    Goodwill on the other hand is far more unconditional. I’d do certain things for any human being I know. Even if the most despicable person I know were to turn up at my doorstep and appeal for food, I’d give it to him. That’s not conditional.

    As for the kind of relationship you received in that email, it sounds exhausting! I want to tell that girl that this guy sounds like a hero, in terms of how much he’s already given. People have lives to lead. They can’t spend hours and hours fighting and talking. If either a boy or a girl is a very emotional type, he or she needs to find out and do what it takes to feel OK on their own. Yoga, meditation, talking with friends, nature, pets, music whatever. Your spouse is there to give support, not therapy. I’d say more than one fight a month, especially if it’s about the same topic, is way too much.

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  30. Everyone has their own definition of love. But I agree with Kay that romanticizing unconditional love may lead to losing a sense of self. In my view, ‘unconditional love’ means that one is self-depriving oneself of the right to walk out of unhappy relationships and forcing oneself to confirm to the expectation of loving someone ‘unconditionally’ no matter how abusive/wrong the other person is. Jiah Khan would’ve thought that she loved her boyfriend ‘unconditionally’ – So ‘unconditional love’ can land someone in such dangerous situations. The letter writer’s love is not ‘unconditional’ either as she is considering divorce because her emotional needs are not satisfied. My personal belief is that everything in life, including love, affection, trust, respect and sexual pleasure have to be ‘deserved’ and therefore come with conditions. Here’s my take on sustaining healthy relationships:
    http://frivolousreflections.blogspot.in/2013/10/relationship-advice-from-feminist-wife.html

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  31. What an interesting read the comments are. For me personally – I thought everything was conditional love except for your own children. But that too I think is conditional. I’m giving to them to see the happiness in them. Their happiness makes me very very happy. End of the day its always self I think. – Preethi.

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